Rape play is NOT rape.

[darkangel218]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by pinto (a host of the General Discussion forum).

Last edited Tue Aug 12, 2014, 02:45 PM - Edit history (2)

Trying to say they're one and the same is pretty messed up.

That's all.

As clarification: yes, I WAS referring to safe sane and consensual play ffs.

You can go ahead and hide my posts, but you can't hide the fact that consentual pretend play is not rape. I was never disrespectful, yet you kept alerting until you got what yiu wanted. No biggie really.
Try to silence and ban the BDSM community. Good luck with that, because it will never happen.

You make a mockery out of feminism. And Kali, your personal attacks are pittiful. You're a bully.

[sufrommich]

1. Putting the words "rape" and "play" together is messed up.

I don't care whether it's a "lifestyle" you approve of or not.

[darkangel218]

3. "I don't care whether it's a "lifestyle" you approve of or not."

Exactly my point. You don't care if its a legal and respected lifestyle, you just condemn it simply because it's not your cup of tea.

Pretty sick.

[JTFrog]

9. "Pretty sick."

If you understood the meaning of those words, you'd delete your OP.

But since I doubt you will do that, and I suspect you are only interested in fanning the flames, don't be surprised at the responses you get.

[darkangel218]

15. I understand the difference plenty.

You're the one not getting the difference between a safe and consentual act between two adults, and the criminal act of rape, which is COMPLETELY different.

Do you want to ban violent movies too, because they depict violence? I'm curious about that.

[KittyWampus]

12. It isn't so much condemnation as it is an honest look at dysfunctional behavior and the psyches

that are manifesting that behavior.

We ALL have our issues that manifest in some sort or other.

Nothing wrong with being honest about it.

The dishonesty is trying to pretend dysfunctional and/or unbalanced behavior is otherwise.

[darkangel218]

17. Are you calling BDSM a "dysfunctional behavior"?

[KittyWampus]

25. it's the behavioral manifestation of imbalance in the psyche. So, yes.

[riqster]

62. Can you provide peer-reviewed sources and document that your opinion is the prevailing clinical

...diagnosis?

[phil89]

85. Imbalance? Based on what objective standard?

You're just making assertions.

[samsingh]

93. you're making stuff up

or you are manifesting dominant behavior

[elleng]

84. Yes, and heading in the direction of encouraging some to think it's ok.

[cwydro]

5. Ditto,

Amazed at all this.

Some truly clueless people.

[HERVEPA]

24. How nice of you to be so judgmental of the actions of consenting adults

[treestar]

98. That's not the end it all argument people think it is

As long as we're not advocating making it illegal, we can still judge whether we think the consent is for real and what we think of the person who would consent to whatever it is.

[HERVEPA]

102. Serious question. How can you judge whether the consent is real

for this sex act versus any other.

[boston bean]

117. I don't know, but I don't tend to question the veracity of rape victims.

you included "any other", which in my mind, makes your post objectionable.

[HERVEPA]

121. What???? The subject was "rape play", which is between consenting adults, not "rape"

So there is nothing that should be objectionable about the post.
I'm not questioning women who say they are raped, as probablly only a very, very tiny percentage of those reporting rape are not telling the truth.

Serious question. Do you see any difference between 'rape play" and "rape"?

If yes, then your response to my question made no sense.

If you don't, then you are denying some women the right to engage in a form of sex they want to.

[snooper2]

2. Russian Crane Operator Fail

LOL

[JaydenD]

4. The word rape has a meaning

and 'play' does not belong in the definition. It's a disgusting oxymoron, why can't you understand this?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. It behooves her not to understand.

That would be at odds with her intent here.

[Blue_Adept]

11. It's the defined term though

And has been for many, many years.

There is a slow movement to change it though, with it being called Ravishment, but these kinds of terminology changes take years to take hold.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_fantasy

"A study of college-age women found over half had engaged in fantasies of rape or coercion which, another study claims, are within the normal range of female sexuality"

[JaydenD]

36. I would like to see a study of women who were actually raped

and whether they still fantasize about it. I find it hard to believe that fantasizing about being brutally raped or tortured or fearing for ones life is what they are really talking about.

[Blue_Adept]

38. That's not what they're fantasizing about though

They're not fantasizing about the brutality or torture. They're not fantasizing a real rape. They're fantasizing the loss of control and the coercion aspect of it for a number of reasons which have been explored through psychological studies.

[JaydenD]

46. Then it should be called something other than 'play rape'. That is too offensive.

[Blue_Adept]

65. And there is a slow change to that, as I said elsewhere in the thread

The push in the last few years is to call it Ravishment or Ravishment Play. But most psychology studies and other areas tend to still call it rape play. Phraseology doesn't change overnight.

[JaydenD]

73. Ravishment would be a much more acceptable word to use.

As you say, unfortunately things move slowly in the language field.

If the OP had used Ravishment in the title, the whole conversation in this thread would have been different. I do not object to Ravishment Play at all as I am sure other accused 'puritan missionaries' would agree with but then the OP couldn't bask in the warmth of the flame.

[Prophet 451]

72. Doubtful

The appeal of rape/ravishement fantasies is the illusion of lost control while still being in control. It's the same allure as the high-powered businessman who pays a hooker to beat him with a cane.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

60. *trigger warning* to fantasize about ravishment and to play a game

with a trusted lover is one thing =
It is a Game that has nothing to do with what is Real Rape which is a very Violent Act in which the victim has no control. Instead the victim experiences fear, pain and, horror.

When a woman fantasizes about a rape she is in total control of the fantasy which is the exact opposite of what happens in RAPE.
A game, a simulation, a hint of danger, a touch of spice, a little imagination.
The Woman in the scenario of Rape Play decides who, when, how, what is said and done.

That is NOTHING like rape.
It is just a game people (consenting adults) play.
In fact it is the Exact Opposite of Rape.

Rape is brutal and forced and the victim has no control. It is a physical assault and battery and is NOT sex no matter that genitalia as well as other body parts may be involved.

Herewith is the DoJ's legal definition of Rape =

Department of Justice
Office of Public Affairs
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Friday, January 6, 2012
Attorney General Eric Holder Announces Revisions to the Uniform Crime Report’s Definition of Rape
Data Reported on Rape Will Better Reflect State Criminal Codes, Victim Experiences

Attorney General Eric Holder today announced revisions to the Uniform Crime Report’s (UCR) definition of rape, which will lead to a more comprehensive statistical reporting of rape nationwide. The new definition is more inclusive, better reflects state criminal codes and focuses on the various forms of sexual penetration understood to be rape. The new definition of rape is: “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” The definition is used by the FBI to collect information from local law enforcement agencies about reported rapes.

“Rape is a devastating crime and we can’t solve it unless we know the full extent of it,” said Vice President Biden, a leader in the effort to end violence against women for over 20 years and author of the landmark Violence Against Women Act. “This long-awaited change to the definition of rape is a victory for women and men across the country whose suffering has gone unaccounted for over 80 years.”

“These long overdue updates to the definition of rape will help ensure justice for those whose lives have been devastated by sexual violence and reflect the Department of Justice’s commitment to standing with rape victims,” Attorney General Holder said. “This new, more inclusive definition will provide us with a more accurate understanding of the scope and volume of these crimes.”

“The FBI’s Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS) Advisory Policy Board recently recommended the adoption of a revised definition of rape within the Summary Reporting System of the Uniform Crime Reporting Program,” said David Cuthbertson, FBI Assistant Director, CJIS Division. “This definitional change was recently approved by FBI Director Robert S. Mueller. This change will give law enforcement the ability to report more complete rape offense data, as the new definition reflects the vast majority of state rape statutes. As we implement this change, the FBI is confident that the number of victims of this heinous crime will be more accurately reflected in national crime statistics.” >snip

more at link: http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2012/January/12-ag-018.html



Herewith is the most current info I could find regarding Rape Play (Trigger Warning)=

This series will discuss rape play and associated topics that may be problematic for some. The intent of this series is not to upset but rather educate and empower.

Disclaimer:
Much of this is based on my opinion and my experience. There are a few areas where I have drawn from vanilla sources and I will cite those to differentiate between my opinion and more studied conclusions.

Within kink there are types of play that involve varying levels of negotiated and consensual resistance. Those types of play can be described by the umbrella term “Consensual Non-Consent”. That term is sometimes used to mean Rape Play but I challenge that rape play can be a form of consensual non-consent, but that there are other types of consensual non-consent which may not be rape play, for example interrogation scenes.

Rape play involves the bottom resisting the top’s assertion of control and sexual advances and the top taking that control. This is done within a pre-negotiated framework that enables both the top and the bottom to express their desires, limitations, and motivations. Nothing in that definition specified gender identity, sexual orientation, or physical ability because none of those attributes restrict participation in rape play. Rape play is about someone taking power and someone losing power, within a controlled and negotiated scene.>snip

more at link (advise to survivors EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING)
http://www.frozenmeursault.com/introduction-to-rape-play/

in summation I conclude that =

*Rape PLAY is to Willingly Submit*

whereas

*RAPE is to have submission FORCED*

[treestar]

97. That's about old fashioned, patriarchal idea

that she does not want responsibility for choosing to have sex, because the patriarchy frowns on it. She really wants to, but wants it to be so she can say she couldn't help it. Exactly. It's not a fantasy women need to have when they are equal.

[historylovr]

106. That's it exactly.

[KittyWampus]

26. "well respected". LOLZ

[TheSarcastinator]

7. That's right, it is not

It is the simulation of rape for the purposes of sexual arousal.

I ask you, freedom lovers, who could ever object to that?????

[redqueen]

37. +1

[JaydenD]

41. Then it is not rape if there is sexual arousement by the one being 'raped'.

[KitSileya]

48. If all parties want it and consent to it freely, and can stop it if they want,

then it has nothing, nothing at all to do with rape, and calling it rape play is offensive to many who have been raped.

[JaydenD]

58. Exactly so, KitSileya

When a woman fantasizes about rape she has all the control and that is the opposite of rape.

The wording of Play Rape is over the top repugnant and disgusting, insensitive to rape victims and just down right obnoxious.

[PowerToThePeople]

8. If both parties are into it

No harm, no foul...

[KittyWampus]

14. I definitely support someone's right to engage in such "play" if it's consensual. Doesn't mean

I have to pretend it's the product of a well balance psyche.

[Blue_Adept]

18. Why not?

Are there numerous studies to show that it's an unbalanced psyche? If the studies that have been done, as mentioned elsewhere in this thread and the wiki page, says the half of college age women have this fantasy, does that mean they're all unbalanced?

[KittyWampus]

27. how many people have fantasies of suicide? Does that mean such fantasies are "balanced"?

[Blue_Adept]

31. Take a trip down memory lane at what people considered unbalanced over the years

It's pretty interesting when you get into the history of it, the psychology and so forth. But is it helpful to equate suicide fantasies with ravishment fantasies? Does that add anything constructive here?

[Unvanguard]

34. That's not really an apt comparison.

In general, people worry about suicide fantasies, and think they're indicative of a problem, because fantasizing about suicide is pretty closely tied to actually wanting to commit suicide and actually attempting to do so.

But people who fantasize about being raped don't actually want to be raped. They eroticize the imagery of rape, and if they choose to pursue their fantasies, they do so through consensual role play.

[treestar]

96. that's based on the romanticizing of it

in the patriarchy's literature.

But that has been explained as not really being about rape.

[pokerfan]

129. Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners.

INTRODUCTION: It has been generally thought that the practice of bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, sadism-masochism (BDSM) is in some form associated with psychopathology. However, several more recent studies suggest a relative good psychological health of BDSM practitioners.

RESULTS: The results mostly suggest favorable psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners compared with the control group; BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, had higher subjective well-being, yet were less agreeable. Comparing the four groups, if differences were observed, BDSM scores were generally more favorably for those with a dominant than a submissive role, with least favorable scores for controls.

CONCLUSION: We conclude that BDSM may be thought of as a recreational leisure, rather than the expression of psychopathological processes.

© 2013 International Society for Sexual Medicine.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23679066

[PowerToThePeople]

20. I agree with that

Coping mechanism perhaps? I do not claim to be a psychologist and it is not really my place to diagnose another.

Each person deals with their world through their own methods. As long as those methods do not bring undesired harm to others, I am ok with it.

[KittyWampus]

29. Coping mechanism seems like a very good descriptive. I have them, you have them, we all have them

But an honest assessment sees some imbalance at the root of a coping mechanism.

[riqster]

67. Are you a trained psychological professional?

If so, your statements are valid. If not, not.

[Thirties Child]

132. As long as those methods do not bring undesired harm to others, I am ok with it.

You're okay with desired harm to others?

[PowerToThePeople]

133. spank me please.

Harder, make it hurt...

[el_bryanto]

10. Yes feeding rape fantasies - it's not like that could ever have negative consequences

Pretending to rape a willing woman who is pretending, for the purposes of the play, not to be willing - where's the harm? And anyway you know she really does want it. It's hard to imagine this sort of play ever going to far and spilling over into actual rape.

Bryant

[KittyWampus]

13. Well, according to our resident experts- these things are contractually agreed upon before starting.

[riqster]

33. Should be.

[HERVEPA]

28. Ever hear of a safe word?

What you are worried about could occur in any sex encounter.
We don't need sex police for consenting adults.

[el_bryanto]

32. Well you should take some comfort in the fact that there are no sex police

What is odd about this debate is that I really have no power, nor do I want any, to stop you from consensual sex of whatever type you want (other than Prostitution but that's another issue). What you seem to want with these posts is approval. It's like you can't enjoy rape fantasies and rape play if you are aware of anybody out there who doesn't think that rape fantasies / rape play are that healthy.

Bryant

[riqster]

55. Not my problem, but I have a thought.

I am a rock musician of little success but long tenure, and I don't like it when churchy assholes judge me for it. Whether or not they have any power over me, I find it offensive and arrogant for others to cast aspersions upon me. It's rude. Who the fuck do they think they are?


Likely similar for people in this milieu as well. But I could be wrong.

[HERVEPA]

68. The idea of participating in a rape fantasy is abhorrent to me.

However, I have no problem with other consenting adults doing so.
You seem to have such a problem, and seem to think such a scenario is more likely to end in actual rape than other scenarios are.
Do you have any basis in thinking that or any info to support it?

[mercuryblues]

16. whoever

said it was?

[darkangel218]

21. Its being villified as it was.

But you already know that.

[mercuryblues]

61. No I didn't

Yesterday your discussion was about rape PORN. About not knowing what it is. Not rape play. Today you are an expert on it. So the question you refuse to answer, did you start that thread as a way to elicit shits and giggles for a flame fest? Were you trying to diminish what the real victims go through after they find out their rape has been posted to the internet?

I defined rape porn and now you start a thread about rape play.

You asked what rape porn was, now you know what it is in its entirety. Rape porn is not always scripted play with willing participants. It is also the actual rapes of people being posted on rape porn sites for sexual gratification. You know the difference, but keep pretending one aspect of rape porn does not exist. Why is that?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

77. Why is that?

and there we have the $64.oo question!

Full Definition of SIXTY-FOUR-DOLLAR QUESTION
a crucial question expressing the basic issue on a problematical subject
Origin of SIXTY-FOUR-DOLLAR QUESTION
so called from the fact that $64 was the highest award in the CBS radio quiz show “Take Italian or Leave It” (1941–48)

[mercuryblues]

95. bingo

I suspect the Op will now start another thread on rape, Bdsm, porn etc. I see they are now locked out of replying in this one.

[redqueen]

101. I wonder if any of the 'whatever gets you off' types are as supportive of racist porn.

[dilby]

104. What is racist porn?

[redqueen]

110. Just Google the term.

There's both explicitly racist porn and also interracial porn that just happens to have lots of racism in it just by accident.

The racism in porn is not a new problem. But it is one that the porn industry's defenders studiously ignore.

[dilby]

113. Good to know that interracial porn is racist porn. n/t

[redqueen]

114. LOL, nice try. People who know what they're talking about won't be fooled by your mendacious spin

[dilby]

116. Sorry but I have a feeling you find all porn to be offensive and will find anything

to say it degrades women or is racist in it's nature. When you use the term racist porn then use interracial porn as one of your examples that is not my spin. That is you saying you feel interracial porn is racist.

[redqueen]

119. And if you cared enough do do one fucking bit of research for yourself

you'd find that ACTORS IN PORN also level this criticism at the genre.

But fuck that, right? You've got everything all figured out.

Your shitty little insinuation about me is fucking low. Be proud

I really am so very impressed by people who refuse to fucking read. SO very, very impressed.

[dawg]

22. Whatever games people want to play in their own bedrooms with each other is fine with me but ...

I am beyond disgusted at people who want to get off to depictions (fictional or not) of someone being raped.

[darkangel218]

40. Youre contradicting yourself.

So if someone likes this type of play in real life, why are you disgusted with them if they want to watch the same play in a movie?

[dawg]

52. Because the movie doesn't depict "play".

It doesn't show a man and a woman as they decide to act out a fantasy and then proceed to do so. It depicts one stranger raping another while she cries and screams and begs for mercy.

[darkangel218]

53. The whole point behind "play" is to "pretend" is real.

Participants in rape play are filmed both before and after the scene agreeing to it.
What is your problem with that then?

[dawg]

57. If the film actually depicted it as role play, showing the couple planning it and then ...

acting it out, I would have much less of a problem with it. But films that depict a story of violent rape, for the purpose of titillating the viewers, are disgusting and irresponsible.

[riqster]

23. I don't care for the term and do not use it. But you are right about the substance.

Anything safe, sane, legal and consensual is OK for them as enjoys it. Not my cuppa tea, but then neither are deep-fried Oreos, Amy Grant songs, or many other things that lots of people do like. Shrug.

I know lots of people into alternative activities of many sorts, and do my best not to judge them. I open my yap when people get hurt.

Hell, I know a couple of dudes that like ravishment play. From the ravishee POV. Not as many men as women, but as Redqueen recently pointed out, anecdotes do not often add up to statistically valid datasets.

Whatever makes them and their partners happy.

[darkangel218]

44. Exactly right.

Thank you.

[cyberswede]

30. .

[Iggo]

35. I can see you're not just trying to start a fight.

That this is not just bait for flames.

I can see that.

[redqueen]

39. +1

[Iggo]

50. .

[darkangel218]

42. And i can see you dont have much to contribute to the conversation.

Flash news, no one is fighting. If discussion is "fight" to you, you're sol.

[BainsBane]

43. Yesterday you claimed not to know the difference between

BDSM porn and rape porn, and now you're giving lessons?

I happen to agree in general with your point here (though I might not if I never the specific content that prompted this post), but I find odd the juxtaposition between this and your OP yesterday.

The difference between what people describe as women's fantasies of rape are that the woman is consenting, she has control. Rape is defined by the absence of consent.

Rape "play" as you call it, however, can reflect the power dynamics in society more broadly and in that sense are reflective of patriarchy. If you're talking about porn, that goes beyond private behavior between consenting adults to representations that both reflect and contribute to cultural views about rape--meaning it reinforces rape culture.

[darkangel218]

49. Youre misinterpreting what i asked. I asked what the definition was , according to those complaning

about it. Perheps they referred to something else from rape play (BDSM) But they weren't.

Rape "play" as you call it, however, can reflect the power dynamics in society more broadly and in that sense are reflective of patriarchy.

Now that's just silly. Rape play can be MF, MM, or FM. Has nothing to do with "patriarchy".

[BainsBane]

54. Rape has everything to do with patriarchy

Last edited Tue Aug 12, 2014, 12:06 PM - Edit history (1)

to pretend that 90 percent of rape victims aren't female is ridiculous.

Again, rape porn is not BDSM. Rape porn is what men who fantasize about raping women get off on watching. Much of it is billed as being real rape. Some may be real rape. Go online and watch some of it yourself before deciding women here are just complaining about "play."

It would seem to me that those who think anything having to do with sex is nobody's business but those involved wouldn't feel compelled to continue to post threads to put such conduct up for discussion. Private behavior is just that, private. When you start discussion on it, people will have opinions. To them claim that rape survivors and others who care about rape culture are just "silly" for maintaining an awareness of society at large is absurd. If this were about private behavior between adults, as your answer above suggests, it doesn't need to be in a thread. If it's about broader cultural issues, that your point is patently false.

[darkangel218]

56. BS. Many women enjoy rape play.

So do gays, trans, etc. It has nothing to do with the gender of the participants.

[BainsBane]

115. You clearly understood nothing I wrote

because I never claimed they didn't.

[Squinch]

45. Please link to anywhere here where anyone said any consensual act was rape.

[krawhitham]

47. Defending rape play is pretty messed up.

[darkangel218]

51. Its LEGAL, safe and consentual.

What's your problem with it? Change the constitution or your local laws if it bothers you that much what consenting adults legally do.

[jberryhill]

108. Picking your nose in public is legal too

Justin Bieber concerts are legal.

Lots of things are legal. It doesn't mean that anyone else needs to have a positive opinion about it.

[dilby]

59. darkangel218 don't waste your breath, this site is full of Puritans that frown unless it's

missionary. It's truly not worth your efforts to try and explain that there are people out there who have perfectly normal, healthy sex lives that include taboo subjects. It's funny that people who declare themselves Feminists try to tell other women what is normal sex and how they should act towards certain subjects like rape play.

[Blue_Adept]

63. HIGHLY incorrect

Stop labeling people as puritans. That does nobody any good.

There's a wide breadth to what people deal with when it comes to sexuality and like a lot of things it can be really polarizing based on experiences of their own and others.

I have zero interest in knife play, but I understand it and do my best to not judge it. But it makes me cringe. So I can completely understand why people have triggers when it comes to ravishment/rape play, especially because of the wording.

A lot of people have simply never heard of it before and just find the concept abhorrent as their mind fills in the blanks.

So, no casting stones on that one.

[dilby]

71. I am sorry but I see too many people who judge based on lifestyle.

Sex between consensual adults should never be judged, nor should people be saying what someone can or can't do. Or what they can or can't watch. If people are into rape play, good for them, if people are into knife play, sure that is fine, if people are into daddy, babygirl that is their thing. As long as everyone is an adult and it's consensual then there should never be any type of judgement.

[cyberswede]

74. What about puritans who are only into missionary? You seem to be judging them.

You're missing the point if you think people are objecting to what consenting adults agree to do with each other.

[dilby]

75. Puritans are fine till they start telling people that other lifestyles are objectionable. n/t

[cyberswede]

78. Do you have any links to examples of that on DU?

I don't recall anyone telling consenting adults what they can and can't do.

And I don't know how you could deduce that anyone here is a "puritan" (or missionary-only practitioner) unless they identify themselves as one.

[Texasgal]

80. He won't find any links

because nobody ever said that. Ugh.

[dilby]

81. Pretty sure this thread is a perfect example.

Look at people who object to the term rape play, or even people who participate in rape reenactment.

[cyberswede]

88. Objection to a term isn't the same as mandating what consenting adults can do.

Neither is voicing an opinion about what might motivate those who do participate in role playing, or whatever.

The main point I see in this thread is that rape is a violent crime, and therefore associating it with "play" is problematic.

It would be like calling erotic asphyxiation "murder play" (or autoerotic asphyxiation "suicide play&quot - I presume there's a reason it's not referred to that way.

And I definitely don't see anyone in this thread frowning on anything outside missionary.

[Blue_Adept]

82. There likely aren't any

But there are several instances in the last few days across a few threads where people are being called out as sick and unbalanced for their interest in such things.

[cyberswede]

90. I've seen people point out the problems with rape porn

...but the reasons for taking issue with rape porn are not based on puritan sensibilities, rather they are based on objections to the normalization (or arousal caused by) depictions of a violent crime. If specific DUers are being called sick and imbalanced, those posts should be alerted to a jury.

[historylovr]

92. +1. Thank you, Blue_Adept.

Exactly so. Not being into something doesn't make one a Puritan, or a prude, or anti-sex.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

131. Thank you for your post.

[dawg]

91. This dawg is no Puritan.

[treestar]

100. Where did you get all that straw?

There is a haystack missing in your area.

[In_The_Wind]

112. The jury voted 1-6 to Leave It.

11:48 AM
Automated Message
AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service
Mail Message
On Tue Aug 12, 2014, 11:40 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

darkangel218 don't waste your breath, this site is full of Puritans that frown unless it's
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5373579

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

puritans, missionary? This poster is insulting people who know what rape is and it isn't play.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Tue Aug 12, 2014, 11:48 AM, and the Jury voted 1-6 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: "there are people out there who have perfectly normal, healthy sex lives that include taboo subjects", well that sure includes me...I damn well know I'd be castigated if I mentioned what me and the missus did last night. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call 911..
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: . . .
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: This is a "reply, not hide" situation.

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[seaglass]

64. and again

[mokawanis]

66. Between consenting adults, in a private setting?

Anything goes, and it ain't no busybodies business what consenting adults do in private.

[Prophet 451]

69. Between CONSENTING adults?

If it's between consenting adult humans and you have a safe word/gesture worked out? Go for it. Not my business how you get your rocks off.

[demmiblue]

70. I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you can no longer post in your own OP!

I mean, really, who saw that one coming?!

[WI_DEM]

76. I think people who enjoy 'playing rape' are pretty messed up too.

That's all.

[Blue_Adept]

79. What else do you think is messed up?

Is it just this when it comes to this? Or are there other areas? This one gets called out plenty for obvious reasons, but you don't see too many other things getting called out as messed up.

Well, in some areas you can see people saying gay sex, anal sex, cross dressing, furries, bondage and what not is messed up too...

[TeeYiYi]

83. The words 'rape' and 'play' don't belong in the same sentence...

If you found your kids playing 'post office' or 'doctor,' you'd let them play on. If you found them playing 'rape' you'd be mortified and most likely send them for counseling, because the concept of rape is abhorrent and has no place next to the word 'play.'

You seem to be spending a lot of time trying to normalize your chosen term for something you do in the privacy of your own home with the partner of your choice. No one and I mean NO ONE gives a shit what you do, darkangel218, with your partner behind closed doors.

Your incessant need to try to normalize the term 'rape play' is getting beyond grinding on the nerves of the DU community. If you want to 'play rape' with your partner, with your 'safe words' and whatever else… GO FOR IT! …but quit trying to normalize rape as some kind of serendipitous game. It's not a game, and if you've ever been truly raped then you already know that.

Find another DU pet project because this one has run its course!

TYY

[La Lioness Priyanka]

86. i agree but most rape porn is rape porn.

as in there are two categories and conflating one with the other is inaccurate

1. you could build a scenario where you deliberately show a woman asking for rape play. in which case, that is the rather infrequent scenario you refer too.

2. you could show the rape of a woman, and the actress consented but the character depicted did not consent. in which case it just rape porn.

[NCTraveler]

89. If that's what turns you on.

Better done behind closed doors with just you and your hand. And yes, I have a problem with people who are turned on by simulated rape. Maybe whacking to it will stop you from acting out your desires.

[samsingh]

94. i agree with you

[Iron Man]

99. If you mean simulated rape porn, then yes, I agree with you.

[MadrasT]

103. People have a right to do whatever they want consensually.

I also have a right to think it's fucked up, and express that opinion.



This business of stipulating that "any and all sex is beyond criticism" is pure horse shit.

[LeftyMom]

105. Using rape to troll is really gross.

Whether it's that weirdo posting terrible images at Jezebel or you deliberately redefining words and feigning ignorance to start a fight at DU.

Stop it.

[PeaceNikki]

136. I was #3

AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service
On Tue Aug 12, 2014, 10:10 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

Using rape to troll is really gross.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5374014

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

I am under the impression accusing one of being a troll is not allowed at DU. Comparing one to a "weirdo" only adds to the insensitivity.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Tue Aug 12, 2014, 10:24 AM, and the Jury voted 1-6 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: The OP is offensive.
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: oh, ffs.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Using troll as a verb is totally acceptable in my book. YMMV
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[MineralMan]

107. Two threads on this in one day?

Sheesh!

[LadyHawkAZ]

109. Remember two things:

Where you are and who you're talking to.

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/lets-have-open-dialogue-about-sexuality-completely-738

Let’s Have An Open Dialogue About Sexuality That Completely Validates My Point Of View

Sexuality affects all of us—men and women alike—but we hardly ever talk about it. Folks, it’s 2014. It’s time for a frank, public discussion of sexuality that reinforces every single one of my existing beliefs on the matter.

There’s no use denying it any longer. We need a forum where anyone can share views that accord with mine. A place to speak freely about everything from consent to BDSM to fetish culture without ever disagreeing with me, and where any ideas I deem too conservative or too liberal can be shouted down.

Let’s ask: When it comes to sex, what’s permitted? What’s off-limits? What should stay private? I have specific answers in mind for each of these questions, but until we start framing them in an indignant way that makes it impossible to differ with me, progress cannot and will not happen.

Together, we can foster a culture in which anyone who questions my stance on sexuality issues is immediately dismissed as either bigoted or insane.

[Sunlei]

111. rape is never 'play', never. People should be more honest, if you can't get it up without violence..

please, get psychological help.

[dilby]

118. Since when do women get it up?

All the people I know who are into Rape Play are women, I am not into it but I have been with women who are.

[Sunlei]

122. perhaps she will go with you to a session.

[dilby]

124. Why do I or a woman need a session?

Do you regularly think people who have consensual sex you disagree with need help?

[Scout]

125. if it's only women who are "into Rape Play" then with whom are they playing? other women?

do only lesbians play this game?

[dilby]

127. Sometimes people do what they are not into to accommodate their partners.

A lot of people in healthy sexual relationships will give to increase their partners pleasure knowing their partner will reciprocate in return.

[TeeYiYi]

128. Sounds like you just blurred the line...

...between consensual and non-consensual.

re: Sometimes people do what they are not into to accommodate their partners.

I've never been involved in a domestic violence situation but I can imagine that "rape play" could easily represent a pretty big part in actual cases of domestic violence.

TYY

[dilby]

134. If both parties agree then it's consensual.

What part of that do you not understand? A lot of women do not like giving blow jobs but know their boyfriends like it, are you saying they are being raped every time they do that? What about men who are not enthusiastic about performing oral on a woman, is a man being raped every time he gives oral when he doesn't like it? When it comes to sex people are not always enthusiastic about everything their partner is into nor should they have to be. They only have to agree for it to be consensual.

[TeeYiYi]

120. If it's not rape...

...then why call it that? ...and why try so hard to convince total strangers on an internet forum that the word rape is just okey dokey because it's not actual rape...? If you want to use the word 'rape' behind closed doors with your consensual adult partner, be my guest; but stop trying to insist that the word 'rape' doesn't mean what it means. Rape is an ugly, violent act. How you get your freak on is up to you but defending the concept of rape as some kind of darling and healthy game to be played is pure flame bait.

re: You can go ahead and hide my posts, but you can't hide the fact that consentual pretend play is not rape.

Since you're not truly locked out of this thread, I expect to see your answer to my question in an edit of the OP.

No one cares what you do and with whom. Keep it to yourself.

TYY

[Texasgal]

123. Oh get over yourself FFS!

You started flame bait and then get all contrite when people call you out on your nonsense. Get a grip.

[FSogol]

126. +1

[Kali]

130. it is spelled c-o-n-s-e-n-s-u-a-l

use the freaking spell check

oh, you might be violating the terms of service by trying to get around the software by editing after you were blocked.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

135. might be? yeah. she just might be.

why does she feel the need to do stuff like this?

[MineralMan]

137. By editing your OP to complain about your hidden post in

this thread, you appear to have gotten away from not being able to post in the thread. I don't know if that's a feature of the DU software or something that wasn't considered.

It seems to me that the intent of blocking a poster who has a hidden post in a thread from further participation in the thread was to do just that. You seem to have found a way to bypass that and add a comment anyhow.

[pinto]

138. On host review. Poster's recent edit of the OP clarified this for us. Locking.

DISRUPTIVE META-DISCUSSION

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