Tough times
Robin Williams killed himself.
This started weeks ago.
The first one. My best friend has a son. Her son had a best friend who killed himself by hanging on Sunday July 27th. I knew the young man but we were not close so well there was a general feeling of grief it did not "hurt". He was 21.
The second one. My ex girlfriend killed herself by overdose last Sunday night August 3rd. I had known her for a decade and although we no longer were a couple we remained close. As I type this a tear forms. She was a wonderful person who never did anything to purposely hurt anyone and was one of the people who I could truly talk to when I needed it. Her death put me down, I literally did not leave my house for two days and you can still see the loss on my face to this day. She was 38.
That was a rough week.
The third one. Coming into work Monday we learned that our boss's son killed himself Sunday August 10th by shooting. I knew his son, he actually worked with us a few years back. He was an ex serviceman who left behind a wife and two children. He was into riding motorcycles and fixing up old cars. He was 30.
Now Robin Williams dies. I don't have anything left.
I'm a big strong man, said with a tad of sarcasm. I'm the one people lean on when tragedy strikes. I'm the one who helps others move, changes the flat tires, fixes the broken stuff ... it has always come naturally to me to be that person. I am fortunate; I am healthy, strong, and I have never really encountered the pain of loss close up. My parents are both still alive (married 55 years) and although all my grandparents have died they lived full lives and died at very old ages.
But damn, I sit here at this moment and can't seem to clear my eyes. I look in the mirror and that is not me looking back, it is some sad tired old man who needs to shave and put on a clean shirt. I'm not really a religious person, but I found myself talking to no one and asking for a little mercy. Can we take next Sunday off, please ... let's not make it a month of Sundays.
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