Statutory rape victim forced to pay child support

[mfcorey1]

A Phoenix man who had sex with a 20-year-old woman at the age of 14 now owes thousands of dollars in back child support for a child he never knew existed.

Nick Olivas became a father in 2006 — a fact he didn’t learn until two years ago when the state served him with papers demanding child support.

“It was a shock,” he told The Arizona Republic. “I was living my life and enjoying being young. To find out you have a 6-year-old? It’s unexplainable. It freaked me out.”

Mr. Olivas said he panicked and never responded to the papers demanding he take a paternity test. The state eventually tracked him down and seized money from his bank account and is now garnisheeing his wages, The Republic reported.

The father owes at least $15,000 plus interest in back child support and medical bills going back to the child’s birth, the newspaper said.

Mr. Olivas says he is a victim of statutory rape and was taken advantage of at age 14 by a 20-year-old woman. State law says a child younger than 15 cannot consent with an adult under any circumstance. Mr. Olivas said he never pressed charges against the woman.


http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/sep/2/statutory-rape-victim-forced-pay-child-support/#ixzz3CCzwEEVW
Follow us: @washtimes on Twitter

[geek tragedy]

1. rape victims are almost always forced to bear the brunt of the costs associated

with raising a child conceived in rape. in the case of male victims, as here, the state is involved in that process, which is unjust.

[msanthrope]

4. It is not unjust, because the support is the right of the child's. He should have answered the

papers for the paternity test, and he definitely should have pursued charges.

[geek tragedy]

6. in the case where society did not protect a child, society ought to foot the bill nt

[msanthrope]

8. An argument he can no longer make because he didn't answer the court papers. Look, I think he's

in a horrible situation, but when he had the opportunity to fight this, he chose not to.

[geek tragedy]

9. when he was still a legal minor? nt

[msanthrope]

12. 22. He was served with papers at age 22. nt

[geek tragedy]

14. he was actually 20 when served.

I think rape victims need a lot more protection than being forced to fight the state at risk of being violated again

[msanthrope]

18. I think you are right...20, so he had until 22 to contest. I think he's in a bad situation, and I

agree with you that rape victims need more protections.

[geek tragedy]

20. also note that the state is seeking money to compensate itself, not provide for

current and future care of the child.

this seems like a simple fix--was the act of conception a per se act of rape victimizing the person in question? You can look that up by SSN.

[msanthrope]

23. Well, the state is attempting a double garnish....taking current support and arrearages. That's

standard.

As to your second sentence, that's completely irrelevant as to the rights of the child.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

27. I bet some days it sucks to be a lawyer.

Unlike some others, I do not see you as being engaged in victim-blaming. I see you having to split the hair between empathy for a victim and the reasonable expectation that people respond to a legal summons -- or whatever it is -- in a timely manner. I understand the latter though I prefer defaulting in favor of the former. I sense you do as well.

I understand, from previous posts, that the victim was 20 when first contacted. Is there any sort of legal service that acts on behalf of victims in the same manner a child in a particularly messy divorce often has a court-appointed attorney to represent their interests separate from both parents? Obviously a child cannot articulate its own best interests; I would imagine many victims are similarly situated due to the fact they are victims.

[msanthrope]

30. It sucks when people mistake my stating what the law is for my approval of what the law is.

Thank you--I wish he had a method of challenge, but unfortunately, there really isn't one.

As to your second paragraph, no. Other than the mercy of pro-bono attorneys, there is no legal service that would be available to this 20-year old. There are rape crisis counselors who can access victim services, but they would not have standing/interest in this particular matter in the court itself.

I would have taken him pro-bono, and would have argued that the prima facie nature of the crime obligated the State to commence criminal and custodial action against the mother on behalf of both the father and the child, and thus, the negligence of the State effectively tolled "notice." And I would have lost, badly, but had he been my client, that woman would be facing charges right now.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

31. If there were more lawyers like you

we'd need fewer lawyers.

[msanthrope]

34. Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot to me on a forum where I am not popular. nt

[moriah]

107. And I hope you understand I wasn't jumping on your case about the *law*, but about....

... the statement you made that he should have reported.

I'd love it if the system didn't treat rape victims like criminals. Men get it worse when they try to report.

But until we don't put rape and sexual abuse victims through the wringer, I will not tell a victim that they should or should not report. It's their call. Some find it therapeutic. Others find it as traumatizing as the assault itself.

[msanthrope]

108. No...I took no offense at all. nt

[AngryAmish]

10. victim blaming

That always works on du.

[msanthrope]

13. I'm not blaming him for his rape. But when you are 22 and served with court papers, you need to do

something about them.

[AngryAmish]

16. yet you do feel entitled to assign blame

Nice.

[msanthrope]

21. I think the woman in question is the one to blame for the rape. But as to being served with

child support papers, and not doing anything about it for two years (when he was 20-22), the responsibility is his.

That said, I wish this young man had had someone in his life who would have helped him challenge the paternity and the obligation to pay as a minor. I would have taken him pro-bono.

Let me add that the paramount right the state is pursuing here is the well-being of the child, thus, the support action.

[moriah]

84. And maybe, just make, the trauma of that time being thrust back into his face was too much for him?

Sexual abuse, even when the person may think they're consenting and enjoying it, traumatizes a person.

Yes, he should have responded to legal papers. But I think he had one of the best reasons for wanting to ignore them that anyone could have -- not wanting to relive that time in his ilfe.

[msanthrope]

105. I agree completely, but the law doesn't work that way. nt

[lumberjack_jeff]

25. At 14 he was too young to give informed consent to buy a car.

The financial obligation of buying a car is only 5 years.

[msanthrope]

28. At 14, he procreated. The state simply does not care how or why he did, because the state

Last edited Wed Sep 3, 2014, 12:36 PM - Edit history (1)

places paramount the rights of the child--in this case, the daughter, above all else. It is not comparable to a civil contract. Is it harsh? Yes---but, the logic behind it is that the state is not going to make moral judgments on HOW children came about....merely that they did, and someone needs to pay.

Do I think he got screwed? In more ways than one. But, it is a case of the state making a decision on competing rights, and choosing the minor child---who has a right to support.

I think the woman in question needs prosecution---and frankly, the child's custodial situation ought to be reviewed.

[lumberjack_jeff]

38. The rights of which child?

In this case, the state began racking up debt on one child to pay for the costs of another, before child #1 even knew he was a father.

[msanthrope]

40. The daughter. Her rights to child support are not vitiated by who her parents are.

She has rights that don't change because one parent is a minor, or a victim of a sex crime. Is this harsh? Yes.

[dsc]

19. Presuming the child is his

just what good would a paternity test have done him? The fact is at the very least this woman should be presumed to be an unfit parent based on her sexual abuse of him and have the child taken away to be raised by him if he chooses or adopted out if he doesn't choose to. On top of that, if the statute of limitations hasn't passed she should be charged now with the form she filled out as evidence of her guilt.

[msanthrope]

22. Paternity test is part of the process of establishing parentage and assigning support. It serves as

official 'notice' from the state that there is an extant case with your name on it.

Some men make the mistake of ignoring that notice, not realizing that their window of opportunity is closing.

And yes....he should look into charges being filed, and attempt to establish visitation.

[dsc]

69. conceeding that it is never a good idea not to answer legal papers

that doesn't change the fact that if the child is his, and he is apparently isn't denying that, he would have to pay the bucks. I think that is outrageous.

[TransitJohn]

74. Rape victim blaming?

Tsk, Tsk.

[msanthrope]

106. Hardly. nt

[moriah]

83. The right of a rape victim to pursue charges, or not, is entirely THEIRS.

Male, female, I don't care.

If you've never attempted to prosecute your rapist, you don't know how much additional stress it is in addition to your own recovery. It may help some people to go through prosecution. Others, especially if the system does not take you seriously -- and male rape victims are taken less seriously than female rape victims -- are nearly as traumatized as a result of the prosecution attempt as they were by the assault itself.

Yes, he should have responded to the papers.

[djean111]

2. Hopefully he can still press charges?

[Xithras]

35. Yes, he can. There's no statute of limitations.

She may end up wishing that she had an abortion, because a prosecutor doesn't even need his cooperation to prosecute this one. Sexual contact with someone under 15 is a felony with no statute of limitations in Arizona. The child, whose birthdate is a legally established fact, and who contains the DNA of both the rapist and the father, is all the evidence that a prosecutor needs to convict her.

With the press around this story, I'd be surprised if the local authorities aren't already looking into the case. It's a slam-dunk belt notch for a prosecutor.

She has done permanent harm to this guy. It's only just to return the favor. A nice stint in prison, followed by a lifetime on the sex offender registry, should do the trick.

[TorchTheWitch]

82. There may actually be another law that would cover this

At least the part about him owing any child support.

I've been watching a ton of 48 Hours and Dateline episodes online for several weeks and watched one a few nights ago about a woman who was raped by her husband. He was convicted in the criminal trial and went to prison but because she was the bread winner in the family and this was a state that alimony as well as child support is a requirement she was required to pay her attacker alimony even though he was in prison.

She was so agast that she went on a campaign to pass a law that makes it illegal for anyone to profit off of someone that they victimized, and the law passed. I just don't recall the name of the law or all that it entails since her case was very different than this guy's, but I do remember that the show said anyone that victimizes a person can't profit off of them.

This sounds like the same sort of situation... someone trying to profit off of a person that they victimized. The only thing that worries me is that the court might be able to claim that the child support is for the child, so the woman isn't the one that profits. In this case clearly the guy was victimized due to his age and the state's law on statutory rape which can easily be proved, and it was due to that victimization that led to the pregnancy in the first place.

I'll have to watch that show again particularly the part at the end about the law the woman was able to have passed.

If anyone is interested in watching it, here...

[davidpdx]

102. It seems like it would be advantageous to him to take the paternity test

and then press charges if there is no SOL. As you said, if she is convicted then she is a sex offender and he can try to fight for custody (it is possible someone in her family could try to get custody).

Then he needs to get every cent taken from him for support of the child so he can take care of his child.

[gollygee]

3. What is the statute of limitations?

Can she be charged now?

I have heard news stories about women who were rape victims having to pay child support to their rapists, despite what the National Center of Men spokesperson the newspaper interviewed said. ( )

[Xithras]

36. Death.

In Arizona, having sex with a minor under the age of 15 is a felony with no statute of limitations.

They really need to prosecute her. Doing so exempts him from having to pay this. It also gets the child out of her home permanently.

[justiceischeap]

5. Here's a link that isn't connected to the Moonie-owned Washington Times

http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/arizona/politics/2014/09/02/arizona-statutory-rape-victim-forced-pay-child-support/14951737/

[gollygee]

7. That article makes the right point I think

there's such a huge anti-assistance push, that no one should be on it for any reason, that non-custodial parents are hit up for ridiculous amounts of back money in cases where they shouldn't pay because the system is set up to keep the custodial parents off assistance, not to do the right thing.

[justiceischeap]

11. I can see both sides

I can see where they want the party responsible for bringing the child into the world to pay assistance so the state and tax payers don't have to and I can see the argument, no matter how disgusting it is, that a victim of abuse should help support the child they helped introduce into the world but I do think there should be exceptions for cases such as this. Meaning the fees or whatnot and I would feel the same if it were the other way around. The child isn't to blame in the matter.

[gollygee]

15. I think this is an exception

because he was very clearly and had to have been a rape victim based upon everyone's ages. The requirement that she get child support from him before receiving assistance should be waived. And on top of that, she's a sex offender and in custody of the child. That's another issue the article doesn't even touch.

[justiceischeap]

24. I agree on all counts

And because she is a sex offender, the father would/should get custody which still puts him on the hook for child support. It's a no-win situation financially for this case and others like it.

[Gormy Cuss]

26. +1 n/t

[Warpy]

79. He sounds like a stand-up guy

who wants to do the right thing by his daughter. I hope he can work something out.

It's too bad he wasn't taught about and supplied with condoms. That would have given him a choice whether or not to risk being a father way too young.

Still, even if the suit stands, it's better than if he were a girl. She is faced with a choice between surgery and risky childbirth, between being saddled with a baby while still a child or giving up her child to strangers, with no right to know how that child is growing up.

[Nye Bevan]

17. Just as disgraceful as rapists being granted visitation rights (nt)

[stevenleser]

29. Victim of statutory rape that results in a pregnancy should get full custody at their option and...

all support costs should be assessed to the rapist with visitation only at option of the person who was raped if at all.

[lumberjack_jeff]

39. Good point. The state has awarded custody to an admitted sex offender. n/t

[loyalsister]

44. Do you mean it hasn't been revoked?

Children are born into the custody of women. It stands unless terminated voluntarily or by involuntary revocation.

[lumberjack_jeff]

45. Conviction as a sex offender should be grounds for revocation of custody. Do you agree? n/t

[loyalsister]

64. I do agree

It's not automatic anywhere, though. Rapists have parental rights and can sue for custody.

[Jamastiene]

57. Either way, the rapist should have to go to jail.

It's just awful. Being a rape victim is lifelong for so many. It's not a one time crime and it's done. Rape victims live with the aftermath for the rest of their/our lives. This guy shouldn't have to pay anything. Rapists should have to go to jail. He should have parental rights to decide what is best for the child, either full custody, like you said, or put it up for adoption, but she shouldn't have any custody of the kid and should be in jail.

[stevenleser]

58. I agree. And the timeline in this case should be indisputably damning.

I don't know what the statute of limitations is here but she should be in jail.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. that is some utter bullshit.

[Sheldon Cooper]

33. I'm all about making deadbeat parents pay for their children.

But this is just wrong. So wrong.

[dilby]

37. He should have reported the abuse.

He can still report the abuse, but I think the reason he is not reporting the abuse is it was consensual and he doesn't want the woman to go to prison, he just wants out of paying for the child he helped create.

[joeglow3]

41. Wow. Switch genders and you would get excoriated here.

I will be interested in what responses you get for this.

[dilby]

42. He can still report the abuse but he doesn't.

If he honestly feels he was raped he should report it.

[joeglow3]

47. Are you claiming every woman on DU who was raped and didn't report it really enjoyed it???

You might want to just stop now.

[dilby]

50. So he doesn't want to pay support because he was raped but doesn't want to report the rape

there is something not right with that scenario. Has nothing to do with enjoyed has to do with him using the claim of rape for not paying support but not filing charges against his rapist.

[dsc]

54. Again change the genders here and you would be roasted on an open spit for this

and deservedly so, but it was just a boy so no big whoop.

[dilby]

55. If a 14 year old girl was raped and had a baby but did not want to report her rapist to autorities

or charge them, I would say there is something seriously wrong there too. If you are raped and you know who raped you, you need to go to the authorities and have that person put away, the end, no excuses. And I would say that to a woman who was raped because she has the responsibility to to take that rapist off the street so he does not rape other women.

[Sheldon Cooper]

56. Have you ever been raped?

[thelordofhell]

81. What a tasteless question to ask..............

Too bad that 4 random people didn't think so.............


On Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:44 AM you sent an alert on the following post:

Have you ever been raped?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5484290

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

YOUR COMMENTS

I think this question is highly inappropriate and offensive to the previous poster who is just trying to make a point

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:53 AM, and voted 3-4 to LEAVE IT ALONE.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Message to alerter: It's OK to ask questions.
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Not an ok question just to make points in a online discussion.
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Why in the world would anyone ask that totally inappropriate question?
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you.

[Sheldon Cooper]

88. Tough cookies for you then, isn't it?

You actually think my question is more "tasteless" than dilby pontificating about what rape victims must do? Hardly. Only someone who has actually been raped can decide what to do in their particular circumstance. dilby's victim blaming post is what's tasteless here, not my question. Have you noticed that he/she hasn't answered? Wonder why.

[thelordofhell]

93. No not really...........

The reason why your question wasn't answered was because it's tasteless...........

[Sheldon Cooper]

95. Nope.

I'm guessing they realized that they have no business running their mouth when they have no idea what it's like to survive an attack. Have you noticed that they've had at least two other posts of theirs sent to a jury? Shows that I'm not the only person offended by their ignorant comments. But let's worry more about my "tasteless" questions, shall we? It keeps us from having to address the real problem here.

Now go ahead and have the last word - I have things to do that are actually important.

[nomorenomore08]

101. I agree with you. It would be tasteless under nearly any other circumstance.

But in this case it's not an unfair question to ask.

[thelordofhell]

110. It's not an unfair question........but it should have been worded differently

"Do you have any experience in dealing with rape?", along with follow up in the message about his experiences in dealing with rape would have been a better way to ask such a question...........Just bluntly saying "Have you ever been raped?" is crass.

I don't like anything in this particular part of the thread.........and others obviously agree, seeing as how items in this have been reported several times.........Just the general tastelessness in this is appalling.

[thelordofhell]

109. Yes I noticed the original post was tasteless

And I also noticed that your post was tasteless as well..........

[Behind the Aegis]

87. This is a horrible position to take.

It is NOT the responsibility of the VICTIM to stop the potential rapes of others! The VICTIM is NEVER responsible for the actions of his/her RAPIST!

"she has the responsibility to to take that rapist off the street so he does not rape other women."

NO! NO! NO! The RESPONSIBILITY lies with the RAPIST!

In a perfect (or Pollyannish) world, yes, it would be EASY for a rape VICTIM to report her/his crime. However, most rape victims will simply endure more victimization. It is NEVER....NEVER...the "responsibility" of the victim! NEVER!

[moriah]

97. I went to the authorities. They did nothing. But even if I hadn't went....

... it wouldn't be MY fault when he raped again. It would be HIS fault.

Fuck the whole "Rapist victims have a responsibiilty to others...." bullshit. The only person they owe shit to is themselves and their hope for recovery.

[gollygee]

100. It is very common for rape victims to not tell the authorities

Authorities aren't always very friendly to rape victims. Even rape victims' families aren't always friendly. They sometimes do the exact kind of stuff you're doing here. "Why didn't you say something right away if there was a problem?" "Did you tell her how old you were? Are you sure she knew?" "Are you sure it wasn't consensual?" 14-year-olds are never to blame when adults rape them. Ever.

[S_B_Jackson]

103. If a 14 year old girl was raped and had a baby but did not want to report her rapist to authorities

It sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer, or Maury Povich, or just about any other sensationalist daytime "talk" show.

You're right, there is something wrong with there - and here in this case too.

[kcr]

80. He was 14 when it happened

If the child is his, it's a fact he was raped.

[Art_from_Ark]

86. But what if he said he was 18 at the time?

Some 14-year-old boys still look like boys (like I did), and some look much older. When I was in 9th grade, I had a classmate who looked like Mongo Jerry. He could easily have passed for 18. I also had a female classmate in 8th grade who looked like she also could have easily passed for 18.

There is more to the story here.

[Behind the Aegis]

89. That's irrelevant.

He was 14, not 18, so it is irrelevant to go down "what if" avenue. It doesn't matter if someone can "pass" or not, at least not to the law.

[Art_from_Ark]

91. What if he had a fake ID that said he was 18?

[Behind the Aegis]

92. But we don't know that he did. He was 14.

[gollygee]

99. It makes absolutely no difference

It never makes any difference how old a rape victim looked, or whether the rapist knew how old the rape victim was. Never in any circumstance. That is blaming the victim. It is always the responsibility of the adult to know the age of the person he or she is having sex with to ensure he or she isn't raping anyone. Always.

[kcr]

104. As someone else already responded, it doesn't matter

From a legal standpoint, it only matters what his actual age is.

[Lancero]

66. Results

He can still report the abuse but he doesn't.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5483789

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

YOUR COMMENTS

Sickening post, rape is a a incrediebly henious crime that leaves a permant mark on the victim.

With how rape victims are treated, many of them believe they deserve what happened to them, or that their rapist did nothing wrong, or that they are now worthless because they were raped. It's reasons like this that are why many victims are to afraid to speak up against their rapists.

It's extremely sickening, and very inappropriate, to be saying that 'the person wasn't raped, because they refuse to report it!".

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Wed Sep 3, 2014, 12:55 PM, and voted 3-4 to LEAVE IT ALONE.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I disagree with the opinion in the alert. I don't think the poster is expressing what is said in the alert at all.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I don't agree with the poster but I don't think that this deserves to be hidden.
Juror #7 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: The alerter is 100% correct. This post is gross.

Given how the site's been going recently, I'm not suprised that the jury decided to let this insult against rape victims stand.

[moriah]

94. So, say a rape victim "did everything right", and her attacker still went free.

If she's reluctant to go through that fresh hell all over again for a likely a similar result, that means she wasn't raped?

My fucking GOD. Some people's children.

[alp227]

59. Jury results...

On Wed Sep 3, 2014, 04:33 PM you sent an alert on the following post:

He should have reported the abuse.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5483678

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

YOUR COMMENTS

"the reason he is not reporting the abuse is it was consensual and he doesn't want the woman to go to prison, he just wants out of paying for the child he helped create. "

Uhh...the OP says, "Mr. Olivas says he is a victim of statutory rape and was taken advantage of at age 14 by a 20-year-old woman. State law says a child younger than 15 cannot consent with an adult under any circumstance. Mr. Olivas said he never pressed charges against the woman."

This post is extremely insensitive for demeaning a rape victim as a deadbeat who voluntarily wanted sex from an older woman. "it was consensual"? "he just wants out of paying for the child he helped create"? Seriously?

And as a post that replied to this one suggests, if Olivas were a woman this post would be seen much more negatively.

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Wed Sep 3, 2014, 04:47 PM, and voted 2-5 to LEAVE IT ALONE.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Good response. Why not use it?
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Oh stop.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: It's his opinion and he's entitled and allowed to post it. What's the problem? Take your alert and stick it in the thread where it belongs. It''s a discussion board so discuss it in the open. Gawd! Some people's children...
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Just one person's opinion that the Alerter disagrees with.

Thank you.

Just an opinion? SERIOUSLY? Even denigrating rape victims isn't enough???

[KitSileya]

62. That is so horrible.

Really bad jury work, and jurors 1, 3, 5, 6, and 7 should be outed as rape apologists.

I hope you alerted on the result, alp227. We don't need rape apologists on DU.

[joeglow3]

71. Un-freaking-believable

I really am at a loss for words. Has DU really sunk this low?

[alp227]

72. Who knows, right wingers are probably randomly voting "leave it alone" in a plot to make DU suck! nt

[joeglow3]

73. That was my first thought as well nt.

[TransitJohn]

76. "Just an opinion? SERIOUSLY? Even denigrating rape victims isn't enough???"

The rape victim wasn't of the correct gender.

[alp227]

77. Rape is rape. A rape victim is a rape victim.

Should've been clear with the age mentioned in the OP. Yet too many people - on BOTH sides of the feminism/MRA spectrum - blind themselves to the idea that a MAN can be a victim.

[TransitJohn]

78. Oh I know, and agree.

Just pointing out what I believe to be at play.

[gollygee]

98. There are plenty of people who do the same thing to female rape victims at DU

and in fact I think in some of the cases I've seen in this thread, they might be the exact same people. I don't see those of us who typically are in the anti-rape threads where women are victims thinking this is anything but wrong.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

43. He was a minor. No such thing as "consent". n/m

[treestar]

48. There have been posts on subjects like this before

Where you can figure he was bragging about it to his friends. Doesn't make it not statutory rape, but you see it.

And geez, a 20 year old woman could find a 20 year old man instead. Much better bet for child support anyway.

[Nye Bevan]

51. It was rape. It is disgraceful for you to use the word "consensual". (nt)

[KitSileya]

61. Children are not able to consent.

There is no way this was consensual sex. No way. Children cannot consent to sex. Read it. Understand it. It was rape. Period. So unless you defend rapists, I suggest you stop speculating, and be quiet while your betters talk.

[mercuryblues]

67. He was

under the legal age of consent. it was rape. It doesn't matter what you think his reasoning is, it was rape.

[Starry Messenger]

68. Abuse and rape are never consensual.

That's a sociopathic response.

[TransitJohn]

75. Rape victim blaming?

What rape culture? Tsk, Tsk.

[moriah]

85. Why the fuck do people think that they should have the right...

... to tell a rape victim to go through the absolute hell that the legal system dishes out to victims of sexual assault?

Men, especially, are often mocked openly for reporting such crimes.

If someone feels it's the right move for them to report, yes, I'll encourage them every step of the way. But fuck the victim blaming.

[Behind the Aegis]

90. plus fucking ONE THOUSAND!

Men, especially, are often mocked openly for reporting such crimes.

You got that right! It's even worse if the rapist is female or between two gay men or lesbians.

I get so fucking mad when people blame the victim for potential future attacks!

[moriah]

96. Where in the US is sex with a 14-year-old consensual?

MIRT, where are you?

[treestar]

46. Is he even liable for child support from the child's birth?

When he was still 14-18, he was a minor himself.

[stevenleser]

49. Apparently not until age 18. There is so much nonsense in these policies its ridiculous.

Women who are raped should not have to give visitation to rapists and the rapist should be assessed for full support costs, not just traditional child support.

Boys who are statutorily raped should not only not have to pay child support, at age 18 they should get full custody at their discretion and should also not have to give visitation and full support should be assessed to the rapist.

[Whiskeytide]

52. While I understand your position...

... any decisions concerning custody and support should first take into account the best interests of the child involved. It might well be that what you suggests would, in many cases, be best for the child. But in some instances it might not be. Hard and fast rules could easily result in an injustice in specific cases.

This is a screwed up situation - and there is no easy answer. But the child is certainly an innocent in any analysis, and that should typically be the primary concern.

[stevenleser]

53. It's never best interests of the child to have their custody given to a rapist. That part's easy.

I understand the rest of what you are saying.

The other thing I deeply believe is, that "It's for the children" has been used throughout history to justify all kinds of bad policies from the simply unfair to the genocidal.

If that is the only reasoning behind something someone or some group or some government is doing, it is inadequate. The policies have to make sense on their own.

[rocktivity]

60. He ought to charge her with statutory rape and sue for sole custody.

Last edited Sun Jun 7, 2020, 09:19 PM - Edit history (11)

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became an adult, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
1 Corinthians 13:11

I understand his not reporting the sex: reasoning like a child, he probably thought it made him "hot stuff" -- and of course he didn't want to "get her into trouble." But he was an adult when he got that legal request for the paternity test. Instead of ignoring it, he should have gone straight to the police, filed criminal charges of statutory rape, filed civilly for sole custody, and refused to put up a dime in child support as long she had any kind of custody.

He can put the child up for foster care or adoption if he doesn't want to keep her. And if he has to pay child support anyway, at least he won't be paying it to his rapist.


rocktivity

[chrisa]

111. Good luck in that in a society that would laugh in his face.

According to the patriarchy, it must have been his fault it happened. The concept of a man not being in control, no matter what age, is joking material and not taken seriously.

His chances of finding any sympathy from the legal system are next to nothing.

[davidn3600]

63. Amazing how many people say the 14 year old boy "consented"

But switch the genders and watch how fast the opinions change.

Can a 14 year old boy consent to sex with a 20 year old woman? People think that's OK. Not only is she not in jail, but she can force him to pay child support.

Can a 14 year old girl consent to sex with a 20 year old man? People will want him in prison for life.

See the double standard?

[NuttyFluffers]

65. i do. especially in how this is sinking, too.

but i am also not surprised either.

[Ilsa]

70. I don't think seeking child support is the right thing to do.

He obviously was too young to give consent.

I think the govt needs to help support the child, which would be the case if the child's father was dead.