Andy Borowitz - Used Tool Purchased for $1.8 Million

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—A used tool that has been on the market for several months was purchased on Tuesday for the whopping price of $1.8 million.

While it may not have set a new record, the sale price raised eyebrows, with many observers noting that $1.8 million was a lot to pay for this particular tool.

But others defended the purchase, arguing that the tool had been successfully bought and sold many times in the past.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/used-tool-purchased-1-8-million?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_090314_Borowitz&CUST_ID=25394153&spMailingID=7033920&spUserID=MzM2OTE2NTg3MTcS1&spJobID=520263934&spReportId=NTIwMjYzOTM0S0

[Faux pas]

1. LOL

[intaglio]

2. Seems like a fair description n/t

[msanthrope]

3. Wow. That'll leave a mark. nt

[Spitfire of ATJ]

6. Naw,...it's a dull tool.

[A Simple Game]

8. And dull can be defined as not sharp or not shiny.

In this case it meets both definitions.

[tecelote]

13. It'll still leave a mark.

A hammer is dull yet he hit the nail on the head with this one.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

4. Imagine the sales pitch.

"This tool doesn't cost, it PAYS! You can't afford NOT to buy this tool - literally!"

[hifiguy]

5. Great satire is pithy, elegant,

and always truth-based. Mr. Borowitz.

[Cleita]

7. Love Andy Borowitz. He always has the right words for the occasion. n/t

[Paladin]

9. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. (nt)

[benld74]

10. Used tool is right! LOLLOLLOL!!!!

[SomeGuyInEagan]

11. As John Stewart said last night, the salary was for past services rendered. n/t

[Plucketeer]

12. Evokes memories of

the $600-dollar toilet seats.

[Veilex]

14. ...