Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain

[KamaAina]

This time, it is indeed The Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/evolutionists-flock-to-darwinshaped-wall-stain,2523/

A steady stream of devoted evolutionists continued to gather in this small Tennessee town today to witness what many believe is an image of Charles Darwin—author of The Origin Of Species and founder of the modern evolutionary movement—made manifest on a concrete wall in downtown Dayton.

"I brought my baby to touch the wall, so that the power of Darwin can purify her genetic makeup of undesirable inherited traits," said Darlene Freiberg, one among a growing crowd assembled here to see the mysterious stain, which appeared last Monday on one side of the Rhea County Courthouse. The building was also the location of the famed "Scopes Monkey Trial" and is widely considered one of Darwinism's holiest sites. "Forgive me, O Charles, for ever doubting your Divine Evolution. After seeing this miracle of limestone pigmentation with my own eyes, my faith in empirical reasoning will never again be tested."...

Since witnesses first reported the unexplained marking—which appears to resemble a 19th-century male figure with a high forehead and large beard—this normally quiet town has become a hotbed of biological zealotry. Thousands of pilgrims from as far away as Berkeley's paleoanthropology department have flocked to the site to lay wreaths of flowers, light devotional candles, read aloud from Darwin's works, and otherwise pay homage to the mysterious blue-green stain.

Capitalizing on the influx of empirical believers, street vendors have sprung up across Dayton, selling evolutionary relics and artwork to the thousands of pilgrims waiting to catch a glimpse of the image. Available for sale are everything from small wooden shards alleged to be fragments of the "One True Beagle"—the research vessel on which Darwin made his legendary voyage to the Galapagos Islands—to lecture notes purportedly touched by English evolutionist Alfred Russel Wallace.

[Rassah]

1. You know, I actually would :D

[Warren DeMontague]

2. That salt stain on the Kennedy expy underpass is the gift that keeps on giving.

[rhett o rick]

5. ...

[nolabear]

19. ...

[Enthusiast]

23. ...

Pffft! [URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[joeybee12]

3. It only counts when his image is on toast...

[KansDem]

11. Or a tortilla...or a slice of potato...

Or some other food high in carbs.

Here's a Darwin cake--

[joeybee12]

13. Wow! And that just appeared out of nowhere! it's a miracle!

[progressoid]

22. How about a a slice of watermelon?

[merrily]

27. Mmmmm. Watermelon.

[joeybee12]

43. Any food product will do...

But clearly toast means it's more divinely inspired.

[DavidDvorkin]

4. Some creationist is going to think this is a real article.

[KamaAina]

6. Some righties think Colbert is actually a conservative.

[DavidDvorkin]

8. Heh. I know.

[Enthusiast]

24. It happens every time.

[Shrike47]

7. Looks more like a Wookie to me, and I'd flock to see THAT.

[merrily]

28. Well, Lucas WAS God.

Until he wasn't.

[tclambert]

9. Is Darwin wearing blue shorts?

[Fred Sanders]

10. Brilliant. Sarcasm is the highest form of humor.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

32. Sometimes, however, others satirize themselves --

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025483017

[NCjack]

12. Have there been sightings of his Mother, or his first biology teacher? nt

[Curmudgeoness]

14. That is one thing we will never see.

Wonder why that is.

The Onion does a fine job, again.

[another_liberal]

15. What a hoax!

That's not Darwin's image. It is clearly the face of beloved Star Wars character, Chewbacca.

[KamaAina]

20. See post 7 above.

Perhaps this is a clue that the so-called "Missing Link" was actually Wookies.

[Vine Gatherer]

16. BRILLIANT!

Thanks for posting, KA

[KamaAina]

21. Welcome to DU!

but please be advised that I, too, am male.

[Pharaoh]

17. Kind of like Jesus on toast!

Hallelujah!

[Liberal_Dog]

18. That Is Pretty Funny

K & R

[NuclearDem]

25. Hail science!

[LiberalAndProud]

26. I had my bags all packed for my pilgrimage to this miraculous apparition.

Then I noticed this was an onion article. Now I'm sad.

[merrily]

29. I know, right? I, too, was sad when I saw it was not true.

Why, though? What difference would it make if Darwin's image did appear somewhere? More people would believe he existed?

[LiberalAndProud]

31. Is there any reason to question the why of miracles?

I don't know. I guess I'm not to know now, because it was all a fraud. (still weeping)

[merrily]

33. Not what I questioned. I questioned only my own reaction.

[LiberalAndProud]

36. First it's a mural, then it's toast, then it's $28,000.

I just wanted to know how my toast should look.

[merrily]

37. What, you missed the potato chip?

[LiberalAndProud]

38. There's a Darwin potato chip?

Did it taste good?

[merrily]

39. Not Darwin but a woman showed up on one of the late night shows with

potato chips that allegedly looked like various beings. I believe a deity was among the "resemblants." Of course, that could have been a spoof, too. Despite multiple close up that the cameraman provided, they all just looked like ordinary potato chips to me.

[LiberalAndProud]

40. Still no Darwin? What is a freethinker to do?

more sad

[merrily]

41. Not to worry. Darwin's existence has never been disproven.

I can't draw a decent stick figure. Or an indecent one. But if you have artistic ability, get you a paring knife and use it on your toast, just like everyone else who "finds" an image in their toast or grilled cheese sandwich. Just don't let this woman anywhere near it.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-19349921

[LiberalAndProud]

42. I think that lady was designing a tribute

"a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic"

If not to Darwin, then to whom? I think she's brilliant.

[Enthusiast]

30. This will be reported on Fox "News".

[merrily]

34. But FOX will say no one "flocked" to the site.

[Enthusiast]

35. Yes. Because Darwin has no supporters.

[ffr]

44. 09/05/2008 :p

Still a good find though.

[KamaAina]

45. You mean it's not still there?

[Jackpine Radical]

46. OMG--My toast this morning--!

[yortsed snacilbuper]

47. You should see how much you could get for your toast,

on ebay!

[Jackpine Radical]

48. Too late.

I ate it.

[Quantess]

49. K & R