A call to see the pain before us - to create cultural transformation - not public shaming

[kpete]

A call to see the pain before us, and create consequences and opportunities for cultural transformation — not public shaming:



...yes, let’s hold the NFL accountable for creating a consistent, clear, and influential policy about domestic violence (a scrappy, innovative young organization called Ultraviolet has taken the lead on this http://act.weareultraviolet.org/sign/NFL_victory_graphic/?source=uv_website ). Let’s push them, not just to create consequences for players who are violent, but also to offer them therapy, and to do so, even when the blinding light of public scrutiny is not shining. As the always-wise Brittney Cooper wrote at Salon:

“The fact that Rice received only a two-game suspension until this video surfaced suggests that the league is more concerned with the optics of Rice knocking Janay Palmer unconscious than addressing the ways that the hypermasculinity of sport perpetuates a culture of violence toward women.”

http://www.salon.com/2014/09/09/pro_sports_fake_morality_play_ray_rice_atlanta_hawks_and_our_deep_dishonesty_about_race_and_gender/

Let’s push the NFL to go beyond crisis communication or ass-covering policy. Let’s inspire them to think complexly and creatively about what it would look like if they were to leverage their outsized influence on American men to redefine masculinity to be about vulnerability and respect, not toughness and force. (For starters, they could engage organizations like Men Can Stop Rape, who create campaigns like this one aimed at college men.) http://feministing.com/2012/01/12/new-men-can-stop-rape-ads-rock/
So many NFL players, so many men, carry the festering wound of having been abused themselves. As has so often been said, hurt people hurt people. It’s not until we reveal those wounds, examine them, heal them, that we will actually see a shift in male-perpetrated violence of so many kinds.

No amount of humiliation can accomplish that, and in fact, any amount of humiliation will prevent it. People may make themselves feel better as they tweet away about what a monster Ray Rice is, but they are actually increasing injury in the process. A recent study by researchers at the University of Michigan revealed that “the same regions of the brain that become active in response to painful sensory experiences are activated during intense experiences of social rejection.” In other words, humiliation and isolation are experienced as intensely as physical pain. As has been widely documented by researchers, they aren’t emotions that motivate people to be better; they are emotions that make people feel backed into a corner.


much more:
http://www.onbeing.org/blog/the-violence-of-humiliation/6753