5 Right-Wing Doozies This Week: The Sarah Palin Apology Tour

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1. Sarah Palin is really, really sorry. So sorry.

Clamoring to stay relevant, Sarah Palin hit the airwaves this week for some startlingly incisive commentary on Obama’s speech outlining his strategy to fight ISIS Wednesday night. Just kidding. She went on Hannity to bash the president some more for playing golf that one time rather than immediately declaring war. It only stands to reason that Palin would be asked to comment on geopolitics. She can, after all, see Russia from her house. But Palin had something really important to say. She feels she owes us all an apology. Great, we feel that way, too. For dumbing down every debate in America (not single-handedly, but she really helped), for using made-up words like "refudiate." For advocating policies that decimate the earth, and for that brawl her idiot familygot involved in over the weekend. We have a list. Contact us, Sarah.

***SNIP

2. Rush Limbaugh learned some things while trying to watch football. It was horrible.

Rush Limbaugh had a perfectly miserable time watching football on Thursday night, poor guy. He made the mistake of tuning in early for the pregame show before the Baltimore Ravens/Pittsburgh Steelers matchup, and instead of hearing some good football commentary, or perhaps some patriotic claptrap on the anniversary of 9/11, what did he get? An earful about how terrible domestic abuse is—not what he signed up for, at all.

3. Betsy McCaughey, ‘Death Panel’ fabricator, flees ‘Daily Show’ set after being asked about the popularity of Obamacare.

Will anyone ever take New York’s former lieutenant governor, vocal and voluminous Obamacare hysteric Betsy McCaughey seriously again? Apparently not. Because this pathetic masquerade of a policy wonk, inventor of the terror-inducing concept of "death panels" that Obamacare was supposed to usher in, just isn’t getting interviewed all that much these days. What a shame—such a hard-working misinformer.


4. Despicable Fox & Friends hosts giggle that NFL girlfriends, or domestic abusers—not sure which—should take the stairs.

The following exchange took place on Fox & Friends on Monday, in response to the video of Ray Rice knocking his fiancée out in an Atlantic City elevator.

Host Steve Doocy: “We should also point out, after that video — and now you know what happened in there — she still married him. They are currently married.”

(Translation from Fox-speak: It’s her fault if she’s getting beaten.)

Co-host Brian Kilmeade: “Rihanna went back to Chris Brown right after [he assaulted her]. A lot of people thought that was a terrible message.”

(Translation: Black entertainers are especially bad role models.)

“I think the message is take the stairs,” Kilmeade continued.