so, here is the thing about hitting children. when it fails to get what you wanted

[mopinko]

do people think- oh, gee, this isnt working. maybe i should try another way?
NO THEY DONT.
THEY DOUBLE DOWN.

and the more they ramp it up and fail, the higher the price of admitting failure and changing course. the more the gnawing of your conscience starts to roar in your ears. and the higher the price goes. soon it is a whirlwind.

[morningfog]

1. Only the US and Somalia have not signe onto the UN's rights of children.

38 nations have banned all corporal punishment of children.

It is battery, it is abuse, and the science is clear: it causes damage. Even at "moderate" levels, it lowers IQ and increasing depression and anxiety. It boggles my mind that in 2014 parents in te US are still so lazy, so reactive and so ignorant as to still practice corporal punishment.

[mopinko]

2. and that's not even addressing brain injuries.

even small smacks in the head, repeated often enough, can break a kids BRAIN.
dont we all want our kids to be SMART? even if you dont value happy, smart ffs?

[Rex]

3. True and since adults have superior strength, they control the situation.

This is what I don't understand about anyone that would hurt a 4 year old, they are at your mercy at all times. There is no justification for hitting. I grew up in the age of leather belts and never once did it cure me of wanting to make mischief. No matter what age, it just HURT.

Counseling probably would have done wonders.

[laundry_queen]

4. Absolutely 100% that's what happens. I witnessed it.

While I was the type of kid to start sobbing and screaming hysterically before my dad could even land the first blow, my brother was the type to try to be tough - even as young as 4 years old. I remember many times, my brother would start off laughing, "Haha, didn't hurt." But as my dad because more pissed off, the beating would get worse and worse until my brother couldn't keep up the façade any longer. It was horrible to witness. And it never stopped my brother from misbehaving days (or hours) later.

Every study I read in sociology and psych classes about children and punishment came to the conclusion that less is always better. Over the top punishment, such as hitting, always produces worse behavior long term. always. So the only conclusion I can come to about people who STILL advocate for their 'right' to hit their kids is that they enjoy it or they are too damn lazy to try any other way.

[angstlessk]

5. laundry_queen...how perfect for my scenario

I was at a LAUNDROMAT and a woman with a toddler and an infant was also there. The toddler hit the infant and the mother hit the toddler and her statement as she hit the toddler...."I'll teach you to hit (Insert babies name here)"....and I am sure she DID teach the toddler to hit (insert anyone's name here)

[mopinko]

6. i was the apple of my daddy's eye.

and he didnt hit us girls. (a deal arrived at when my oldest sister sprouted bruises at a very young age.) but i had one brother, and he informed my mom that nobody was gonna tell him how to raise his son.
boy did he get it. and boy did i get it next. to this day i cannot stand my brother.

he was raised very brutally. and yet he had a huge gently side. he was a truly tortured soul.
he had been forced to drop out of college during the depression. to go back and care for those that beat him. the story goes that he was never the same.
he was an amazing person, an amazing intellect. he had straight a's until he had to drop out. but an emotional cripple who turned to drink.

i put a large measure of the blame on the brutality that was considered "for his own good"

[frogmarch]

7. The really stupid ones even

slap or beat their kids to make them stop crying from being slapped or beaten initially.

[mopinko]

8. that i used to get too.

you wanna cry? i'll give you something to cry about!!
never passed that one down, but, yeah, talk about emotional abuse.

[magical thyme]

9. My mother thought it worked well enough on me

of course, as soon as possible, I cut her out of my life completely. She spent her life wondering where she went wrong.

I have spent my life with chronic issues of fear of women, gnawing anxiety, and have repeatedly ended up working in "pink ghettos" with abusive women managers.

[mopinko]

10. yup yup

i had other issues besides this one. my dad died when i was 17.
coming of age was tough.