Luke, I Am Your President

[Katashi_itto]

Let’s see Putin try to pull this nonsense with a Sith Lord in the White House.



My dear Americans and future subjects,

As you know, a recent poll rated me more favorably as a potential candidate for the 2016 presidential election than Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Chris Christie, or Jeb Bush.

Moved by such enthusiasm in a galaxy whose lack of faith is often disturbing, I stand before you tonight to announce that I, Darth Vader, am running for president.

It has been a long journey for me. Unlike my elitist opponents who are out of touch with 99 percent of America, I know what it is like to struggle. I was born a poor slave on the planet Tatooine, the son of a woman who worked from dawn to dusk for a cruel master. Yet despite the odds, my mother was determined that her son would enjoy the opportunities she never had. And so at a young and tender age, I was torn from my home to be apprenticed as a Jedi knight.

Life as a novice Jedi was hard. But I was fortunate to receive a Dark Side Scholarship, and from there I embarked on my long career of public service. While Barack Obama was just a community organizer in Chicago, I was organizing a galaxy-wide empire.

While Hillary Clinton dithered over terrorist attacks in Benghazi and Chris Christie was sabotaging bridges in New Jersey, I was leading the Galactic War on Terror against the Rebel Alliance. And while previous administrations tolerated incompetents who fumbled aid for flood-ravaged New Orleans or botched the rollout of a health care website, I assure you that no subordinate has ever failed me more than once.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/07/23/darth-vader-is-polling-higher-than-all-potential-2016-presidential-candidates/

[merrily]

1. Only heaven knows what message the DNC and RNC will take from that.

[First Speaker]

2. I don't think he's eligible...not being born in America...

...but what the hell. If Ted "Mountie Boy" Cruz can run--so can Darth. He'd get my vote! Imagine Congress dilly-dallying with him!

[underpants]

4. Is your collar getting tighter?

Mountie Boy - I like it! Also seen him called the Calgary Kid

[underpants]

3. Hilarious

[msanthrope]

5. Where's the long form BC? Get Orly Taitz....the Jar-Jar Binks of the

California Bar on this.

[Laelth]

6. k&r for the greater evil.

-Laelth

[corkhead]

7. At least Darth Vader's evil had integrity where Darth Cheney has a war-profit motive behind his evil

[Scuba]

8. Rick, is that you?