The Onion: David Cameron To Scottish People: ‘I’ll Kill Myself If You Leave’

[geardaddy]

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http://www.theonion.com/articles/david-cameron-to-scottish-people-ill-kill-myself-i,36941/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:

LONDON—In an emotional public address this morning ahead of Thursday’s national referendum in Scotland, U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron pleaded with the Scottish people to stay and vowed that he would take his own life if the territory votes in favor of independence. “Scotland, the second you leave I will kill myself—I swear I’ll do it,” said a visibly disheveled Cameron, who spoke with a shaking voice and appeared at several points during the speech as if he was on the verge of breaking down in tears. “How can I go on living if you’re gone? If you vote yes to independence, that’s it—you can say goodbye to me right now, because I’ll be dead the next time you see me. Just look at what you’re doing to me!” At press time, Cameron was seen sobbing softly and climbing up the stairs to the top of Parliament’s Elizabeth Tower.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

1. He's gonna start driving by Scotland. Yelling at them to come

back. Maybe even peel a few donuts on their yard.

[geardaddy]

2. Hahaha!

[SheilaT]

3. Love it! The follow up article should be

something along the lines of how the anticipated vote for independence will top 90% in favor.

[FSogol]

4. Hope Scotland throws all on Cameron's stuff in the yard and writes "neo-con prick" on his car.

[joeybee12]

5. Is that a real photo? If so, the guy needs some sleep...

Also, if he did say that, it would pass with about 95% of the vote.