Another risk of spanking: establishing a 50 Shades relationship between parent and child.

[pnwmom]

Last edited Sat Sep 20, 2014, 05:23 PM - Edit history (9)

That is what parental spankings/paddlings/whippings can do. If you don't think there's a sexual component to the child's experience of feeling the paddle against bare skin, you're wrong. Even children can have sexual feelings, and the nerves in that area can be stimulated by spankings. The sense of violation could be akin to being raped.

I'm not saying that parents who spank are purposefully trying to induce these feelings. But this can be the experience for the child. Is that really the kind of relationship you want with your child?


http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2008/feb/lw28spanking.cfm

Spanking Kids Increases Risk Of Sexual Problems As Adults, New Research Shows

DURHAM, N.H. -– Children who are spanked or victims of other corporal punishment are more likely to have sexual problems as a teen or adult, according to new research presented today by Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire.

SNIP

Straus analyzed the results of four studies and found that spanking and other corporal punishment by parents is associated with an increased probability of three sexual problems as a teen or adult:

• Verbally and physically coercing a dating partner to have sex.
• Risky sex such as premarital sex without a condom.
• Masochistic sex such as being aroused by being spanked when having sex.

“These results, together with the results of more than 100 other studies, suggest that spanking is one of the roots of relationship violence and mental health problems. Because there is 93 percent agreement between studies that investigated harmful side effects of spanking, and because over 90 percent of U.S. parents spank toddlers, the potential benefits for prevention of sexual and relationship violence is large,” Straus says.

SNIP


_____________________

Spanking is a sex act which is why it should not be used for punishing children

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/09/spanking_is_a_sex_act_which_is_why_it_should_not_be_used_for_punishing_children.html

Nerve tracts that pass through the lower spine carry sensory information to and from both the butt and genitals. Some scientists speculate that these nerves can stimulate one region when the other is provoked. There’s also a blood vessel in the pelvic region called the common iliac artery. When blood rushes to a child’s butt—because, say, you’re spanking him—blood rushes down that artery. But the artery splits. Some of it directs blood to the genitals. So when you cause blood to rush to a child’s butt, you’re also causing it to rush to his or her other sex organs. The other time this kind of genital blood engorgement happens is during erection or arousal.

Oxytocin, a hormone that is released during arousal, can increase pain tolerance by as much as 75 percent. So I wasn’t surprised to read that some kids who are regularly spanked experience a surge of oxytocin when they sense danger. It makes sense. If a kid expects a parent to cause physical pain, why wouldn’t her brain trigger an unconscious state of arousal to release the hormone that helps mitigate that pain? Does the possibility that parental spankings trigger sexual arousal hormones along with tears make anyone else a little uncomfortable?


__________________

http://nospank.net/sexdngrs.htm

Conclusion
It is not disputed that spanking has a sexual side as well as a punitive side. Indeed, our popular culture and media suggest there is wide awareness of this fact, however unspoken. Society has nonetheless failed to squarely address the serious implications of spanking’s punitive/sexual duality. Considering the power of sex to corrupt, along with the coercive nature of punishment, we should be alarmed at the very idea of discipline through spanking – all the more so when it is directed at a group of people as powerless, fragile and unsuspecting as children.


EXPERTS’ QUOTES

SNIP

“When a child is hit on the buttocks... [t]his kind of violent touch can be sexualized in the child’s mind not only because of a real flow of blood into the genitalia, but also because of a longing for intimacy with the parent: if painful physical touch is the only fulfillment of that longing, then this can “feel good.”
Shere Hite, sex researcher, sociopsychologist. The Hite Report on the Family (1995)

SNIP

[moriah]

1. If there was an award for making me lose my lunch, this thread took it.

Thanks. Now I have to clean up.

[LittleBlue]

2. +1

On behalf of the forum, ewwwwwwwww


Oh and

[Oktober]

3. Folks who spout this crap...

... Are the same ones who think parents are a predators for taking pictures of their kids in the tub or playing in the sprinkler.

Not every relationship is sexual and it says more about you and the sick stuff on your mind.

[cali]

6. to a point, I agree. BUT....

if you are spanking a pre-pubescent or pubescent child in that way, there damn well is a sexual element even if you don't have any overt sexual intent.

I would say that spanking on a bare butt intensifies feelings of humiliation. why would any parent spank on the bare butt? It's flat out creepy. I've read comments where the person says that this is in order to make sure you don't inadvertently hurt the kid, but that's a heap of dog shit.

[Oktober]

8. You might...

... But assuming that everyone else must is projection and assumption.

[cali]

10. as I NEVER spanked, I think we can safely rule me out.

I'm not assuming anything. educate yourself. but then you may well have spanked a teen or pre-teen on the bare butt. Experts will tell you how, er, unhealthy that is, dear.

[pnwmom]

9. I am not saying parents are doing this on purpose. But they should be aware

of the possible effects on their child.

[pnwmom]

18. I'm not saying the parent is doing this on purpose. But it could be the inadvertent effect

on the child.

And no decent parent would want to take that chance.

[hobbit709]

4. That is some real convoluted thinking there.

[tkmorris]

5. Wow. This is...I don't even... Wow.

[cali]

7. worst argument I've read against spanking.

[pnwmom]

11. Why? What part is incorrect? You agreed that this could happen

to an older child. Lots of people spank their older children, and the dividing line of when the feelings begin isn't clear cut.

[cali]

12. first of all you provide exactly zero evidence for your claim.

secondly, there are solid arguments with boatloads of evidence against spanking.

[pnwmom]

13. How about this?

http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2008/feb/lw28spanking.cfm

Spanking Kids Increases Risk Of Sexual Problems As Adults, New Research Shows

DURHAM, N.H. -– Children who are spanked or victims of other corporal punishment are more likely to have sexual problems as a teen or adult, according to new research presented today by Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire.

SNIP

Straus analyzed the results of four studies and found that spanking and other corporal punishment by parents is associated with an increased probability of three sexual problems as a teen or adult:
• Verbally and physically coercing a dating partner to have sex.
• Risky sex such as premarital sex without a condom.
• Masochistic sex such as being aroused by being spanked when having sex.

“These results, together with the results of more than 100 other studies, suggest that spanking is one of the roots of relationship violence and mental health problems. Because there is 93 percent agreement between studies that investigated harmful side effects of spanking, and because over 90 percent of U.S. parents spank toddlers, the potential benefits for prevention of sexual and relationship violence is large,” Straus says.

SNIP

[tkmorris]

15. The study illustrates correlation not causation

I'm not a fan of spanking but you really have failed to make a legitimate case against it with this line of argument.

[pnwmom]

16. It doesn't rule out causation. And logically, and biologically, it makes sense. n/t

[moriah]

22. One study. Found any others? I can only find this one cited.

First, while I have an issue with people calling an interest in BDSM a "sexual problem"..... (It also says that 40% of college students who had never been spanked were into BDSM, showing that it might as well be mainstream if 70% of the ones who were "hit a lot" also were interested.)

One study means nothing. Let's see if the results can be repeated.

[pnwmom]

27. Why do you need more studies? You have common sense, don't you?

The physiology is straightforward. Paddling causes blood flow. Blood flow stimulates the entire region. This happens in children the same way it does in adults.

Why would a good parent choose to stimulate his or her child in that fashion -- if s/he thought through what he was doing, s/he would not.

[moriah]

33. I was switched, I wasn't paddled.

The blood that flowed when Mom took it too far was out of my skin, not to my genitals.

Also, the primary chemicals released when a person is paddled, beaten, or otherwise given pain is adrenaline and endorphins, not oxytocin. The science in the Slate article was quite awful.

Edit: As for needing more studies? Scientific method requires reproducible results.

[msanthrope]

14. I'm posting in this thread because I really don't want to have to waste a jury call on it. This

is going to be epic.

[B2G]

17. Di-Toe. nt

[winter is coming]

29. Me three. Gotta save myself for one of the Ebola threads! n/t

[leftstreet]

19. These articles make no sense

If both genders are equally 'aroused' by being hit as children, why wouldn't both genders show equal amounts of sexual violence victimization as adults?

Why would spanking tend to make one gender the victim, and the other the aggressor?

[pnwmom]

20. This paper appears to address that issue.

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023%2FA%3A1018871009381

Abstract
This paper tests three competing explanationsfor male-female differences in sado-masochistic sexualarousal. The male arousal hypothesis posits that becauseof socialization that emphasizes sexual aggression and experimentation (and thus higher levels ofsexual arousal and activity in all areas), men will bemore aroused by both sadism and masochism than women.The female masochism hypothesis argues that because females are socialized to be passive, they willbe more aroused by masochistic (but not sadistic)activities than males. The convergence hypothesis notesthat male female socialization (and differences in most sexual attitudes and behavior) haveconverged in recent years, and hypothesizes that thesame convergence has taken place in arousal caused bysado-masochistic behavior and fantasy. Using a sample comprised of 320 undergraduate students (69%white, 27% African American, 4% other) from a largeurban university in the Southeast, we found no evidencefor the female masochism hypothesis and only weak evidence for the convergence hypothesis. Thestrongest evidence was for the male arousal hypotheses,with males scoring significantly higher than females onseven of the twelve measures of sado-masochistic arousal, and no differently from females on theremaining five.

[leftstreet]

21. That means fathers are aroused if they spank their kids??!!

Eeeeewww!!!

[pnwmom]

25. Not most fathers. But I could believe that a father with a "whoopin' room,"

who talked like a certain NFL player, and who whipped his child on the scrotum (as he did) could be --unconsciously at least.

[sunnystarr]

23. Oh those pesty connections ...

[libdem4life]

24. Good post. I've suspected that...it explains some of my experiences and my sister's, too.

i'm going to lay odds that people just blowing this off have not been severely abused. Lots of denial around child abuse and rape.

I remember the day...when I was 12 and equal in height...I was so enraged without even thinking I yanked the 1 x 4 board out of my mother's hand and swung it back like a bat as if I would hit her. There was no conversation. Just eyeball to eyeball. I had taken my power and she knew it. Thank God I had more self-control than she did, but it never came up again...ever.

Sex and power are easily and often co-mingled. It's an early form of rape, indeed. Thank you for the post.

[pnwmom]

26. It's interesting how I seem to have hit such a nerve

even though most people on DU claim they don't spank their children. And yet, they sure are awfully anxious to dispute the obvious effects of the act.

Hopefully when someone does alert on me (two have said they wanted to), you'll be on the jury.

[libdem4life]

31. Got your back on this one, pnwmom.

[davidn3600]

28. Correlation does not equal causation

There are tons of people in the BDSM lifestyle that were never hit or abused as children.

[pnwmom]

32. So? That doesn't mean it's okay for parents to take deliberate actions that could

inadvertently stimulate sexual feelings in a child.

But with regard to your point -- more than 80% of Americans spank their children, and even higher numbers did so in the past. The BDSM community, like all American communities, most likely includes a very high fraction of people who were spanked as children, whether or not they remember it.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

30. I think it's quite possible.

Because of the physiology as already explained.

[emotimatly]

34. I am sharing as a real life witness to this sexual abuse hidden in spanking children

I surf the net relentlessly, can't stop obsession with the spanking topic as I suffer the fetish from my childhood. It is real, it distracts and warps a person's sexuality for LIFE! Please read my story and the web owners story how childhood spanking was sexualized & was realized later by me and other victims that parents act out their own sexual gratification in spanking their children secretly without challenge because they themselves developed a sexual paraphilia from their own childhood spankings. I recall the slow ritualized clothing removal by my mother, the unbuttoning of my trousers, the unzipping of my fly, the pulling down of my pants, and then underwear and the total genital exposure to her! I was to young to show visible signs of sexual arousal, but a few years later I realized the pleasurable moments I felt before the order to go over her knees was sexual arousal! And later in therapy with recalling I understood her hidden pleasure in spanking and its ritual! Please follow the links, they tell the story of this cultural secret, the sexual abuse of children in spanking! http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/sexual-abuse-under-the-guise-of-spanking-for-discipline.html and http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/can-childhood-spankings-be-administered-because-of-or-lead-to-a-spanking-fetish.html No child deserves this damage from spanking, a life time distraction that is obsessive!

[pnwmom]

35. I am very sorry that has happened to you and others. I think people who don't realize that it can

are lacking in empathy and common sense.

Thank you for speaking up.