Ok so I'm thinking of getting pregnant. Does that make me pregnant in Arizona?

[MichiganVote]

Or does it take a right wing Doc to make it official when I discuss my personal and private reproductive health issues for the repub peepers to put online somewhere?

Or maybe its when I had my first period

God, its such a dilemma when to prepare the nursery or begin taking those humongnous vitamins.

Wait--God, I walked past the KY jelly in the supermarket last week and of course I thought of sex. Do you think that made me pregnant?

What if you say, pregnant, pregnant, pregnant like three times and sort of twirl around, throw some salt over your shoulder and stuff like that...Geezz Arizona, your law is just so narrow and last year. Spell it out!

I'll bet if I made a YouTube video of my dilemma, the Governor of Arizona would help me. Am I pregnant? Or maybe Rush Limbaugh could figure it out. He's got the sluts nailed down. Boy no mistaking who the slutty thinkers are these days!

Ok so let's say I'm like 90 or something, I have sex or I even think of sex...pregnant or just a wanna be?

I mean like somebody's gotta know right? Its not like women can decide this for themselves can they?

Hmmm, how the fuck do the rest of the mammals do it?

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Heheh!

[Roselma]

2. Absolutely. Even if you weren't thinking

of getting pregnant, you are pregnant in Arizona. All you have to do is be a woman of reproductive age, and you are automatically declared pregnant from the end of your last period until your next period. That's how it works.

[MichiganVote]

8. Oh cool then we can all apply for the Family Leave thing. Let's do it!

Every woman in Arizona should apply for it without delay. Take it ladies, tell your employers you thought of being pregnant and presto- it happened!

Man, 30 odd years of sex ed. is like really going to have to change big time.

[avebury]

3. LOL! nt

[uppityperson]

4. You are only pregnant if you are between menstrual periods. Once you are bleeding, then you must

go to the shame hut and remove yourself from polite company, men, women who you might infest, children, kittens because.

[MichiganVote]

9. Oh fuck that's too much work. Can't I just be a slut instead?

[uppityperson]

18. Sure, slut on!

[MichiganVote]

20. Well hell it worked in HS, why change now?

[uppityperson]

23. Counting how many times I could've been pregnant, according to this law, I didn't have

enough fun in HS. I was a good girl until college where I also became a slut.

500 times. Take THAT Duggars! hahahahahahaah

[MichiganVote]

26. God didn't think of that. Well another reason I'm going to Hell. Oh well.

[Kath1]

49. LMAO!

Good for you! I was also a good little girl who became a "slut" in college and loved evey second of it. Didn't have enough fun in HS, either.


"Take THAT Duggars! hahahahahahaah" - Really LMAO at that! Peace!

[arthritisR_US]

5. Well, when was your last period? If you

just got finished it, yep that makes you pregnant. If your husband has been away you'll be given GOP sainthood and then the fun begins

[MichiganVote]

11. Ok but I'm not exactly sure that the period really happened in Arizona. I travel.

So maybe I'm partially pregnant. Sort of half in and half out.

[arthritisR_US]

38. I would tink the minute you hit Arizona air space

the Jan Bruer tickle happens and that egg becomes royally excited or f*cked, depending how you see it. If you don't get pregnant this cycle, it could be your eggs are on strike, I did hear they've been messing with your labour laws

[MichiganVote]

41. You know I think that baked face Jan Brewer has a thing for me.

And I've never given her the time of day. Bet she wants to meet me in a bar and screw me in the washroom or something.

Seriously disturbed.

[arthritisR_US]

47. She's an odd duck, that one. Her god complex

has no boundaries so I would guard your critters and their womb, with a view.

[Downwinder]

6. You probably already qualify for prenatal assistance.

[MichiganVote]

33. And food stamps! My boys will be so pleased.

[Major Nikon]

7. I've heard you can get pregnant in Arizona just by sharing bathwater with your brothers

Not sure if that is true, though.

[MichiganVote]

10. I believe it. They think of sex all the time. Its "normal" for them you know.

[ornotna]

12. Congratulations!

Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?

[MichiganVote]

15. That's a good question. In China they only want the boy things. So if

I say I want a boy they might make me give up my freedom's. I think I'll have a cat. They're easy.

[fascisthunter]

13. just keep pumping out those babies ladies!!!

the right wing needs more soldiers for the wars they are always supporting. Besides, their masters(1%) need low wage workers.

[elleng]

14. You were 'pregnant' 2 weeks ago!

Got any names in mind?

[MichiganVote]

17. Really? Well shit, and I got drunk last weekend.

Maybe Clementine??? Jeez what are the popular right wing names now anyway?

[RC]

16. You're a woman, so if your think about sex,

you are morally depraved. Only white Republican men can do that without being depraved. All you Liberals are gonna go ta Hell!
If you say your are pregnant and they test you and you are not, you will be charged with murder for the abortion.
If you are 90 or something, have sex and don't give birth, you are assumed to be over due. You must submit to a forced birth, not to be confused with an abortion.
Being a woman, you need to know how to cook and keep the kitchen floor clean. (barefoot, ya know) Helps keep your mind off sex and depravity. Never mind being preggers most of the time.

For those missing the sarcasm gene -

[MichiganVote]

19. Oh man, can't wait for such a fulfilling life!

That's me all the way. Just pain and martyrdom and the rest of all that saint type shit.

[Lucy Goosey]

21. I'm menstruating...

...does that mean I've just had an abortion in Arizona? Or is menstruation now murder? I can't keep track?

[MichiganVote]

24. LOL LOL LOL!! Your post caused me to seriously laugh the fuck out loud!

[LiberalFighter]

52. If they had their way. It probably does.

[chieftain]

22. I don't know but I am absolutely sure that Cardinal Dolan

believes you committed a mortal sin.

[MichiganVote]

25. Mortal sins are just so cool for drama. The little venial signs are babies.

Ohhhhhhhh... a Cardinal for sex. Red underwear, cute little beanie and all that. Way cool.

Reflecting...

MUST NOT FANTICIZE ABOUT CARDINAL FOR SEX or

Preggos!

[Kath1]

27. Yes, you are officially pregnant!

"Geezz Arizona, your law is just so narrow and last year." Agreed. More like the middle ages.

Better prepare that nursery and raise that child to vote Republican!

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so ridiculous?

[MichiganVote]

30. Yup. An entire state legislature have fucked me and made me pregnant! YES! YES!

Moan! Moan!

Think of all the child support!

Octomom will definitely be moving to Arizona

[Kath1]

37. Yes, they did.

Fucked you and every other woman in Arizona. Child support is rarely paid - I know .

"Octomom will definitely be moving to Arizona." - LMAO!

Arizona, it is 2012!!!!!!!

[quaker bill]

28. If you have met the guy

you are definitely pregnant. If you think you might meet the guy, you are probably pregnant. If you have a uterus, chances are at least 50:50.

[MichiganVote]

31. Oh baby, I'm thinkin' of taking on the entire Ariz. legislature for fun

One of them has to have some balls.

[quaker bill]

56. Then he is the daddy

just thinking about balls probably means your are pregnant (given you have a uterus).

[bluedigger]

29. So you finally figured out how to do it without us, huh?

We always knew this day was coming...

Anybody need any jars opened?

[jillan]

32. ----->

[img][/img]

[MichiganVote]

34. But move to Michigan and you can have an emergency manager!

[jillan]

35. You know what sucks? That whole area by Benton Harbor is one of my favorite areas to vacation.

I'm originally from Chicago and my grandparents had a summer home in Union Pier, so whenever we go to Chicago - it's now a tradition to spend a few days up that way
I love that part of Michigan.

[MichiganVote]

36. I love Michigan too, sadly, its in sorry trouble and NOT b/c of jobs.

Its b/c of fuckers like the Jan Brewer bunch and I'm fucking mad as hell about it too.

[Permanut]

39. I think it's called an immaculate contraption....

or contraction, or something.

[MichiganVote]

43. Correct terms are necessary for our dignity

Immaculate Bullshit works for me.

[pinboy3niner]

40. You're overdue for your slutwalk of shame to your nearest GOP pol's mysogenicological office

Better make it a slutrun. You have no time to lose!

[MichiganVote]

42. Well I DO need some time to decide what to wear you know.

Let's see, how much of a deduction can I get for preggo clothes and some Fisher Price shit?

Thank God I'm not entitled to health insurance.

[Kath1]

44. LOL!

"preggo clothes and some Fisher Price shit" - You will need those items to be a good mom in AZ world!

[MichiganVote]

45. I'm just hoping to emulate Saint Ann of the Mormons Kath. You know, the do it right thing.

Can we even have sex anymore?

[Kath1]

46. I don't know a damn thing about Saint Ann...

but I don't think we can have sex anymore.

Il like the "do it right" part, though. LOL.

[matt819]

48. Wow

I'm sorry to say, but if you thought of sex, you have to get Santorum's approval in writing if you actually plan to have sex. After all, Jimmy Carter seemed to say it was okay to lust in your heart (or maybe he said it wasn't okay - it was a long time ago). But the actual having of sex? For that you need approval. Surely there's a form you can fill out.

[jmowreader]

50. According to Arizona Law, I am probably pregnant too

In 49 out of 50 states I would not be pregnant, but in Arizona I could be pregnant, which means I definitely am pregnant.

Just because I am not pregnant now doesn't mean I couldn't GET pregnant any time now.

And the lack of a womb is immaterial at this time: in Arizona, EVERYONE is pregnant.

[Egalitarian Thug]

51. Yes you are, and if you change your mind you're a murderer!

[SydBAThule]

53. If you are thinking of getting preggers you best be married first

else you will be a slut in the eyes of the majority in AZ.

(scarism)

[eShirl]

54. You're "Schroedinger's-Pregnant."

You have a certain statistical chance of being pregnant, but it's impossible to tell until your egg actually does or doesn't merge with a sperm.

[etherealtruth]

55. Love it!!!

[MichiganVote]

59. So is there a buzzer or something in the womb that announces the start of the mission?

[blue neen]

57. Please take your shoes off. They also want you to be barefoot.

Unless you are menstruating, of course. You can wear your shoes during your time in the hut.

[Sheepshank]

58. If you are a mentruating female

you are already guilty of being PG. You must prove otherwise.

In AZ, if you are a female... you are definintely guilty until proven innocent.
In AZ and every other state in the USA, if you are a male...carry on un questioningly, and uninhibited-ly with your masturbating, copulating, coitus freedoms.