It's OK to tell your abortion story. Some women just don't want to be pregnant

[marmar]

from the Guardian UK:



It's OK to tell your abortion story. Some women just don't want to be pregnant

by Jessica Valenti


I know a woman in her 30s: she’s married, she has a toddler, and she desperately wants a second child – but a dangerous medical condition means that having another baby would be life-threatening. Despite being careful, she got pregnant. She had an abortion because she wasn’t willing to risk her life and leave her child motherless, but she still feels a deep sadness.

I know another woman, in her 20s, who had a shitty boyfriend (but no kids) when her birth control failed and she found herself with a pregnancy she knew she didn’t want – a pregnancy she wasn’t ready for. She was upset about the situation, but had no doubts about what she wanted to do and, after the abortion, no regrets. She rarely thinks about the pregnancy or the abortion anymore.

If you’re like a lot of people, you probably have much more sympathy for the first woman than the second. Though the majority of people in America and Northern Ireland and so many other places believe abortion should be legal, too many of us still think about reproductive rights as if there’s a hierarchy of good and bad abortions – the kind that women “deserve”, and the kind women should be ashamed of.

But those two women? They’re both me.

On Thursday, the 1 in 3 Campaign (a hat tip to the fact that 1 in 3 American women will have an abortion) launched a live-streamed, national abortion speak-out featuring people like Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards, comedian Lizz Winstead and artist Favianna Rodriguez – and me. ..................(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/20/abortion-story-women-dont-want-be-pregnant

[Prophet 451]

1. Interesting article

On a gut reaction, I found myself sympathising more with the first situation than the second. Which suggests something in my own attitudes that I probably need to think about.

Thanks for posting it.

[Warpy]

2. Not wanting to have that particular baby at that particular time in your life is enough.

And no woman owes anybody taking a year out of her life in horrible discomfort to be an incubator for the adoption market. Pregnancy and childbirth might be natural, but they're also potentially life threatening. They must be voluntary.

[Dont call me Shirley]

3. Women who are forced to carry their unwanted pregnancies to term often abuse and neglect

their unwanted children. The children then live their lives in constant waves of sadness, anger, loneliness, unconnectedness and feelings of not belonging in this world. This makes it overwhelming for them to emotionally function in the world.

People rarely think or talk about the often difficult lives of unwanted children. If their stories were to be told and heard, the general public's opinions of carrying every single unwanted fetus to full term would change for the better. Not only does the women deserve a choice, the unwanted fetus does too. A life of misery for both is not a good life.

[drmeow]

4. I guess I'm not like

a lot of people because I view both women exactly the same - as women who chose, for reasons which are none of my business, a safe medical procedure which, despite the right wings best efforts, is perfectly legal.

[babylonsister]

5. Some women can't stand being pregnant.

That would be me after being abused. A baby shouldn't be made out of anger.

A long time ago.