boy, 12, kills himself after 'he was bullied

[Scruffy Rumbler]

Folsom, California: 5 December 2014

A 12-year-old boy has killed himself after schoolmates bullied him for being a cheerleader, according to friends.

Ronin Shimizu, a former student at Folsom Middle School in Folsom, California, took his life on Wednesday afternoon but police are not releasing any further details about his death.

The school district has confirmed that the boy's parents, who also have a younger son, complained on multiple occasions that he was being bullied and officials said that they followed protocol.

But friends say that the taunting continued. He recently left Folsom Middle School to be home schooled.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2862375/Boy-12-kills-bullied-cheerleader.html#ixzz3L40Hq6y6
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-286



*****************************************************************************
1976: I was 12, my abusive father had died in March. That summer we moved to a new school because my mother could no longer afford our home.

My tormentor sat in front of me in home room.

Our teacher was also the football coach. My tormentor was the quarter back.

My tormentor was the son of a prominent doctor in out town.

Every day he would punch me in the left arm. Every day, multiple times a day. I had a lump on that arm that did not go away until my senior year.

Two of his buddies sat in the row next to us.

Everyday I heard the names. Every day I felt the blows. Every fucking day.

Go the the teacher asking to change seats. Tell him why. He tells me to hit my tormentor back. Right...pasty ass, over weight, abused, grieving child....Hit back at the most popular, in shape bully with all his friends.....not going to happen.

My heart grieves for Ronin and his family. Another gentle soul gone.....

[BeyondGeography]

1. God, I hate these stories

Fucking hate them.

I am so sorry, little guy. I hope you're in a safe place where you can be loved and protected.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

3. Same here, BeyondGeography.

I hate hearing and reading these stories, too. Peace.

[BeyondGeography]

7. And I am glad you persevered

Cruelty really is the ultimate enemy.

[PsychGrad]

52. Same here.

I work with kids in this age group and it's horrific what some of them are expected to endure - things we wouldn't expect a grown adult to endure. And bc he was a cheerleader? There is never a reason for bullying, but that's got to be one of the most stupid ones I've heard. I once had a girl, 14, who had been raped by a boy in the school, but we couldn't prove it, so, no charges. I worked with her and I KNOW she was telling the truth. Anyway, he was harassing her at the school after the fact, smugly because he knew she couldn't prove it happened and he wasn't going to have any consequences. I went to the Vice Principal and explained the situation (with consent from the girl beforehand to share the information) and the VP took action IMMEDIATELY. He directed the boy to stay away from her, and to not look at or speak to or about her in his school. When the boy continued - the VP made him walk outside of the school, with a teacher, during passing periods, and he had to eat his lunch with the VP every day - which meant he had absolutely NO contact with the girl (or other students) without supervision. It certainly wasn't protocol - but, it didn't violate any of the boy's rights either while keeping the girl (and others!) safe too. The boy, who I wish I could have worked with too, but didn't, actually ended up getting suspended and then kicked out for bringing a loaded gun to the school (nothing to do with the case I worked as far as we know) and I think he is in prison nowadays (this was YEARS ago).

Schools could do more, if they cared enough to do so.

[BeyondGeography]

57. And individuals like that VP

There are doubtless many people like him saving lives right now. Would that more had the power and/or the inclination to do so. It is so lonely for the victims in these situations, even when their parents are supportive. Those school days and afternoons are long when you're living in fear. And it's humiliating not to be able to stand up for yourself. Your self-worth crumbles which leads to all sorts of heartache and compounds your sense of isolation. It's an unhappy fact, but schools need to do more to keep these situations from spiralling out of control.

[PsychGrad]

60. Agreed.

That particular VP was a gem, and when he retired, I really did cry a little. He was SO good to the kids entrusted in his care. He was never mean to the boy - but he let him know in no uncertain terms that he would NOT tolerate bullying of any type in his school. Of course, outside of school we had some issues, but having her safe for 7 hours a day was a good start and gave her a break at least from having to see or hear the kid. And, the kids respected and liked this VP - but they also knew that he was not playing when it came to this kind of stuff. He struck that balance that not many adults can.

[Odin2005]

63. Most school admins are cowards who would be too terrified of angering that boy's parents.

They would rather do nothing than risk parents throwing a "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE MY SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE OF BEING BAD!!!" temper tantrum threatening a lawsuit.

[narnian60]

69. Oh,

you are SO right.

[Odin2005]

71. And those same shitty parents blame the teachers' unions for schools going to shit.

[PsychGrad]

73. Agreed.

Unfortunately, for the boy, his parents didn't give a shit, and as far as I know, nothing was ever brought up at the school. Like I said, he was a kid who didn't really have a chance - parents didn't care, police were very familiar with him by the time he was 12. He was basically just unsupervised from early on.

But I do know that the VP was fair to all the kids, and tried to make a connection and build rapport with all of them. He was just a great administrator to have in a school. He is still in town and everyone still loves him - but having someone like that in the schools is so rare. I can't count the number of times I went to him as a counselor and said, "can you help me with this kid's issue" and he always, always did.

But, as we all know, if a school TRULY has a Zero Tolerance bullying policy - then they would have to intervene and do a lot more work. I get that many of them are underpaid and overworked, but I just don't know why people who don't care or don't like kids go into the field - it's not like they make a ton of money. All of our systems are so messed up sometimes.

[PsychGrad]

74. And - as an adult who works with kids....

I truly do have a zero tolerance bullying policy. Of all of my kid's "issues" - this is one that just irks me beyond belief bc it's so unnecessary and 9x out of 10 is just exacerbating the kid's real and unavoidable "issues" - ie depression, anxiety, etc. And, when I'm working with a kid and they are struggling and trying to survive and then some other asshole kid comes in and makes it worse - I just have no patience for that at all. It is something I handle swiftly - with no hesitation - bc life is hard enough for my kids without that added bs. And, usually, the bully kid either is like the boy I mentioned above, OR, they come from a home that condones bullying. Grrrr.

[jmowreader]

67. He's not in "a safe place." He's fucking DEAD.

He should have been in "a safe place" at school, but he had the bad luck to go to a "football players can do no wrong" school, and he killed himself, and now he's fucking dead.

[BeyondGeography]

68. Yeah, probably right

It was a little bit of a prayer. Some people believe it's possible. I hope they're right.

Of all the people to view this thread and that comment, you're the only one with the absolute lack of taste and decency to make a comment like that in response to what I wrote. Make my expression of grief and condolence about the lad's death (make that his fucking death) a stage for your awesome grip on reality and your tiny little football point.

Walk with pride.

[narnian60]

70. Well said.

[Mnemosyne]

2. ...

[Scruffy Rumbler]

4. ....

[randome]

5. I'd say it depends on how he died before we can say if he killed himself or not.

If by gun, then the gun owner is a murderer. If by drugs, then the drug-owner is a murderer. Whatever the case, it's a tragedy.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]A 90% chance of rain means the same as a 10% chance:
It might rain and it might not.[/center][/font][hr]

[Throd]

6. The police seem to be treating it that way.

[daleanime]

44. Those were just the means to finish the job....

the school had already killed his soul.

[Ykcutnek]

10. I just wish these kids would be protected from the monsters who drive them to do such things. nt

[kelliekat44]

66. It begins in the home. Kids hear, see and learn how to be monsters at home...i don't care what the

analysts say. Your children's behavior and socialization is a mirror of who you really are.

[Posteritatis]

14. Are we seeing an uptick, or are we just seeing more of what's always been happening?

Twenty years ago, kids who were driven to suicide by their peer would be local news, maybe state/provincial news, with an unhealthy dollop of discomfort talking about things like that serving to minimize a lot of the coverage that did result, push the responsibility on the kid rather than the cause, and so on.

I was the community target as a kid, but was lucky; my folks moved to a larger city, giving me a clean slate and (with some initial difficulty) a rebooted and healthy social life. I don't know if I would have gone the route this kid did if they hadn't moved, but if I'm honest with myself I could see myself possibly going down that road a few years later. If that had happened, it would've been in the mid-nineties; it probably wouldn't get noticed in the city I'm in now, four hours' drive from that town, and I'm utterly certain nobody reading this thread would have ever heard about it.

There's a hell of a long way to go regarding bullying of course, but I do think the attitude in general is getting healthier - that it's out there, that it's terrible, that it's to be acknowledged and talked about and thought about. As with a lot of social problems, once people are willing to start seriously looking and thinking about something, it can be very easy to be utterly astonished at what we'd been missing all along.

[Posteritatis]

24. I sometimes wonder if there was one in my town when I was about that age

A schoolmate - didn't know him beyond a name, since the town's elementary school was unusually large - died abruptly one evening, followed by what I remember were some pretty awkward, vague, embarrassed-sounding sometimes conflicting talk from the adults about what happened. It didn't touch the news. Small, private funeral. A couple of days later at the grownups' level it was as though nothing had happened.

At the time I didn't find anything weird about it, being that I was ten or so and not exactly full of perspective and a good grasp of the nuances of my elders, but with a bit more hindsight I sometimes wonder if something like that had happened and got the standard "quietly swept under the rug lest it reflect on the family" treatment that suicides often get even today.

Even then I do agree that this kid was incredibly young for that sort of thing, though. Everything about it sucks.

[whathehell]

54. I agree..

I'm a baby boomer, and in my day it wasn't even heard of in high school.

[jeff47]

15. We're seeing an uptick in reporting on bullying-related suicides

Doesn't mean there's an actual uptick.

I wish these kids would realize that nothing is permanent and we have many opportunities to reinvent ourselves throughout our lives.

Clinical depression is not a logical disease.

[chervilant]

42. I just wish ALL people would hold BULLIES responsible for their behavior,

and stop advising children who are bullied to "realize that nothing is permanent and we have many opportunities to reinvent ourselves." Trust me, that kind if thinking will be perceived as victim blaming disguised as concern. It doesn't help.

[regnaD kciN]

53. I had just moved to a new community after three years in Europe…

…and behaved in a way typical of European children: more polite and deferential, quieter, and not into rowdiness. As I thought of it, "normal." As the kids at my school thought of it, "queer."

I had the shit beaten out of me, by organized groups, for most of three solid years. The school administration ignored it; my own parents (who had no idea of the scope) simply told me to "ignore them and they'll go away" (while, at the same time chewing me out regularly for letting my grades slip, because, apparently, I thought I was so much better than everyone else that I didn't need to study, and I needed to learn that I sure wasn't).

I don't know how I survived those years. It's a good thing my family didn't own a gun, or either I would have ended things myself, or there would have been a Columbine decades earlier.

[Fumesucker]

65. What would be nice is if a young person didn't have to excel in sports to be "popular"

That is one of the consequences of having competitive sports in primary and secondary schools, they largely end up taking over the cultural life of the campus and only those who are good at sports at a young age are allowed to feel positive about themselves.

Personally I wish kids would stop bullying other kids, that would work even better than kids realizing that nothing is permanent and is about as likely to happen.

The emotional scars from being bullied can last a lifetime, we are learning who we are when we are young and many of us learn that we are worthless to our peers and far too often we learn we are also worthless to the school authorities as well. That sort of lesson learned young is not easily overcome.

[RebelOne]

9. I have a friend here in Georgia,

whose son killed himself at 15 since he was bullied because of his weight. She and her husband have been on national talk shows on a campaign against bullying in schools.

[JI7]

11. i think social media is making it worse for some

kids can no longer just wait for school to be out and look forward to long breaks away from school/bullies.

social media means it's always there . and could even follow them to another school if they decide to just transfer to another one.

i wish there was a way to make kids see that so much happens in life that those few years could mean nothing. and there are so many other people out there. but when one is young it's tough to do.

maybe schools can offer kids a chance to privately do something like attend some group discussion with other students a little older and adults who can tell them how much it sucks at the moment but there is something much better for the future.

[jeff47]

19. 5 years is an eternity to them.

Telling them that it will be better when they're 30 is like telling you it will be better when you're 206. To them, it's going to take an extremely long time to get there, with lots of suffering until then.

How to treat an individual really depends on the individual. What we should be offering, and the ACA start this, is better access to therapists who can start that individualized treatment.

[Posteritatis]

22. Yep. To a twelve-year-old, five years would be about half of their full life's memories

I've seen things like that help people now and then - sometimes someone saying "it sucks and it might feel like it takes too long but it will get better" can help someone who just needs reassurance that it will from a place where it feels like it won't.

Of course, that's definitely a temperament thing and would be more likely to sink in for someone with a few more years' perspective. At that younger age though? Five years is the distant past and the deepest future at the same time, and it's generally not going to be helpful.

[Posteritatis]

20. Even making them see that they're, well, seen can help.

A common thread among a lot of kids who take their own lives is that they're alone; that nobody knows they're hurting, or at least doesn't care that they are (y'know, the standard "oh, that's just teenage drama" dismissal, or its newer variant, "oh, that's just internet stuff and isn't real&quot . The surprise so many feel when someone in their community takes his or her own life kind of underscores that

It's hard for someone stuck in that hole to see anything past it; it's an attitude that's really good at reinforcing itself. Add onto that the fact that so many are (legitimately) afraid of just being blown off when they do try to reach out and it just gets worse.

You're right that people do need to take more individual initiative that way; a simple "hey, I am acknowledging that you exist" followed by some actual listening doesn't take much and can have a huge impact on its own, even before going into larger-scale, more organized ways of helping.

[11 Bravo]

12. FUCK! I can't look at that smiling young face, so full of hope ...

and the expectation to be allowed to pursue whatever recreational pursuits he chooses, without wanting to beat the shit out of something.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

27. I hear you Bravo nt

[smirkymonkey]

13. Poor, sweet little boy.

This is so tragic and it makes me sick that things like this ever happen to children. People can be so cruel. My heart just breaks for this child and his family.

[MadDAsHell]

16. This stuff makes me sick...I hope the parents of the bully know what they allowed...

So often it's the parents of the dead child that are on the news, but think about how much progress might be made if just one parent of a bully would go on one of these shows and say: "I fucked up, I knew my kid was a bully and I did nothing about it, and my complacency allowed my kid to torture another kid to the point that he killed himself."

My first child is due any day now and I can tell you that hearing these stories over the last 10 years or so has woken me up. I will be paying attention not only to whether my kid is being bullied, but whether my kid is BEING the bully. And there will be plenty of consequences for the latter.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

30. Right on, MadDAsHell.

"I will be paying attention not only to whether my kid is being bullied, but whether my kid is BEING the bully. "

Best of luck with the delivery!

[Stargazer09]

61. Sadly

Bullying seems to run in families (in my experience). Bullies teach their children to follow in their footsteps.

Good luck with your new baby! The most important thing you can do is to make sure your child knows that you love and respect him or her.

[Odin2005]

64. The parents probably think it was OK to bully the boy because...

...he violated gender norms that say cheer-leading is for girls.

[mcar]

17. Heartbreaking

Beautiful, beautiful boy.

[helpmetohelpyou]

18. There's more here

Non-suspicious deaths include natural death, accidental death or suicide, Browning said when asked to elaborate. He said Sacramento County coroner’s officials will determine the actual cause

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/article4288714.html#storylink=cpy

[progressoid]

21. 12 years old.

[Posteritatis]

26. "And this boy had even left school to avoid the bullying so the problem had been solved."

The last time I was that naive I was maybe half the age of the kid in the story.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

28. No the problem wasn't solved.

He was forced to go into isolation to escape his tormentors.

That solved nothing....

Oh... and welcome to DU....

[BeyondGeography]

35. Keep talking

Tell us how the boy's family killed him by not bullying him themselves.

[shenmue]

36. ...

[longship]

38. The protocol is: "Boys will be boys."

It is what I had to endure for two whole years in Junior High School in Detroit (1961-1962). It eventually led up to a broken jaw -- mine. One would think that would put an end to it, that the school administration would ask themselves, "Do we have a problem here?" Nope! Any bullying that lead up to my broken jaw pales in comparison to what I endured for the rest of my days at Cadillac Junior High. It got much much worse. I was pummeled daily, often in classroom in front of teachers who did nothing, or chose to see nothing.

Unknown to me until many years later, my mother was in the principal's office many, many times during those days, often more than one time during a week, begging the administrators to put an end to it. Her answer was always that "Boys will be boys."

Amazingly, I got out okay, and have made out sort of okay. I managed to graduate university in physics, with some distinction. But to this day, I think of those days in horror, which they were. But since then I also have had an extreme dislike for bullies.

I cringe when I read of these things and think, there but for the grace of god go I. (And I am a lifelong atheist.)

R&K

[Scruffy Rumbler]

40. Kudos to your mother!

My most wonderful mother is the only reason I made it out of my childhood and my teen years.


"Amazingly, I got out okay, and have made out sort of okay. But to this day, I think of those days in horror, which they were. But since then I also have had an extreme dislike for bullies. "

I could not have said it better....

[Dont call me Shirley]

39. I'm so sorry for this beautiful boy and his family. Too sad.

I am sorry you had to endure such ugliness. Telling your story is a part of your healing. You have courage to heal. Your life is of good value, know this with all your being.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

45. Thank you for the supportive and kind words!

I was very fortunate in many ways. About 4 years after the events I related above, my mother and I came out to each other. To this day, with all the people I have met and befriended in my 51 years, I am the only one I know of to have that immediate and complete understanding and support from a parent figure. To share the coming out journey with my Mom gave me much strength. She handled advercity with grace and beauty.

[Dont call me Shirley]

49. A powerful story, the love of-from-for mothers is grace and beauty. You are lucky indeed.

[SunSeeker]

41. So sad.. Poor kid.

[TxDemChem]

43. I feel for his family.

He was so young. Too young. The world is cruel enough when you're an adult. Teachers and admin should not condone this behavior.

[Douglas Carpenter]

46. this is heartbreaking -- poor little guy

[mountain grammy]

47. I have the most awful memories of 12. My heart breaks for this child and his family.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

56. ...

[HomerRamone]

48. America loves bullies.

They root for them in sports, and just elected tons of them (and the bullied Democrats get blamed)

[Scruffy Rumbler]

51. Hey HomerRamone!

Having grown up in an abusive and dysfunctional family situation, I often see patterns in our society that seem to mimic patterns found in abusive and dysfunctional homes.

There is the authority figure abusing their position of power; the person(s) being abused; the ones that don't see the abuse because it is not happening to them; the ones that have had it happen but refuse to acknowledge it; the person that cheers on the abuser to distract from themselves; the ones that try to help and the ones that affect change and improve the situation.

[sakabatou]

55. :(

[City Lights]

58. Absolutely heartbreaking.

What a gorgeous child.

[RKP5637]

59. Charges should be brought against the administrators and teaches involved, as well as the students

involved and their parents. Some serious prosecuting needs to be initiated in cases like this.

There need to be laws with teeth to engage the negligence. This, will not be cured on its own.

There are some brazen sociopathic assholes in school systems that need to be eradicated. A gentle touch will not work, and many of them feel no guilt, in fact, some well might feel good about it as mission accomplished.

This, is not a gentle society, we as a nation need to quite being so damn delusional.

[Odin2005]

62. FUCK BULLIES!!!

[SleeplessinSoCal]

72. It's past time to do something about bullying.

It's gone to a whole new level of relentlessness because of so many reasons. The authorities need to do something massive to protect the vulnerable.

[McCamy Taylor]

76. School bullies learn it at home. They are the victims of someone else and they take out their

anger and frustration on the next person down the social ladder. Maybe if the parents of school bullies were held liable for their kids' actions, the parents might get some help and end the cycle of abuse.