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Wed Dec 31, 2014, 11:32 AM

If you had to do it all over again,what would you change?

I would have put more pressure on my parents to stop smoking.

58 replies, 3260 views

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Reply If you had to do it all over again,what would you change? (Original post)
SummerSnow Dec 2014 OP
HERVEPA Dec 2014 #1
TexasProgresive Dec 2014 #2
LWolf Dec 2014 #3
villager Dec 2014 #29
LWolf Jan 2015 #37
villager Jan 2015 #40
JayhawkSD Dec 2014 #4
SomethingFishy Dec 2014 #16
Lurker Deluxe Dec 2014 #22
yeoman6987 Jan 2015 #39
PowerToThePeople Dec 2014 #5
lunasun Dec 2014 #8
KingCharlemagne Jan 2015 #42
roody Dec 2014 #6
tammywammy Dec 2014 #27
dawg Dec 2014 #7
KingCharlemagne Jan 2015 #46
NYC_SKP Dec 2014 #9
femmocrat Dec 2014 #11
NYC_SKP Dec 2014 #25
malaise Dec 2014 #30
NYC_SKP Dec 2014 #31
Hassin Bin Sober Jan 2015 #48
femmocrat Dec 2014 #10
Iggo Jan 2015 #45
femmocrat Jan 2015 #53
hifiguy Dec 2014 #12
Ron Obvious Dec 2014 #13
Glassunion Dec 2014 #14
Victor_c3 Dec 2014 #15
BlueJazz Dec 2014 #17
1step Dec 2014 #18
abakan Dec 2014 #19
mythology Dec 2014 #20
Blue_In_AK Dec 2014 #21
LineLineReply .
Iggo Jan 2015 #44
uppityperson Dec 2014 #23
tabbycat31 Dec 2014 #24
tammywammy Dec 2014 #26
roody Dec 2014 #32
lpbk2713 Dec 2014 #28
renate Jan 2015 #33
Douglas Carpenter Jan 2015 #34
raccoon Jan 2015 #35
ChosenUnWisely Jan 2015 #36
Vinca Jan 2015 #38
KingCharlemagne Jan 2015 #41
Iggo Jan 2015 #43
Skeeter Barnes Jan 2015 #47
TexasMommaWithAHat Jan 2015 #49
1step Jan 2015 #50
Dont call me Shirley Jan 2015 #51
Liberal Veteran Jan 2015 #52
Jamaal510 Jan 2015 #54
JustAnotherGen Jan 2015 #55
rug Jan 2015 #56
madinmaryland Jan 2015 #57
nruthie Jan 2015 #58

Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 11:37 AM

1. Apropos of nothing, but a great line from a song sung by Dave van Ronk

 

If I had to do it all over again, I'd do it all over you.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 11:38 AM

2. I can think of somethings but

I would hesitate because there are always unintended consequences. Here's one I can think of, if my Mom and I had a better relationship I would not have moved back to Texas where I met my wife.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 11:43 AM

3. Just 2 things.

If I could be guaranteed the exact same children, I would have had them later, AFTER I'd completed my education. I'd have chosen a different father for them. That's about it.

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Response to LWolf (Reply #3)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 08:17 PM

29. That's the big caveat -- "If I could be guaranteed the exact same children."

 

My first (and so far only!) wife wound up breaking my heart quite effectively -- would I marry her again, if I knew, ultimately, where we were headed?

And yet, how could I not, given how I love my sons?

On the other hand, in the new year, with so many previous "new years" behind me now, it's time to really move on from that marriage.

Plus, with an emptying nest, what's holding me back? Time to head off "future regrets," then!

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Response to villager (Reply #29)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 09:13 AM

37. That's the thing, isn't it?

Hindsight is great, but how much of who we are comes from the hard parts of our lives? Delete the hard parts, and we're not the same people.

And I wouldn't change anything about my sons. My grandson is about to turn 15, and is a freshman in high school. It's hard to believe.

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Response to LWolf (Reply #37)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:02 PM

40. 15!? I guess it's not just the former pups getting older!

 

Congrats, LWolf. Yeah, my youngest is a sophomore already -- eldest just has a year and a half left of college!

And right -- the hindsight comes because of the hard parts...

Happy New Year!

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 12:17 PM

4. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

 

The destination is, in no small part, the product of the journey, and I am precisely where I am supposed to be. Wishing for different circumstances is sowing the seeds of my own discontent, depression and unhappiness. I choose inner peace by knowing that this is my proper place. The journey forward is a different matter, I have choices to make and work to do on that, but the past is done, it is no more than prolougue.

If I could do it over, I would do it precisely that same, becuase to do otherwise would lead me to a place other than this one. Perhaps it would even be a better place, but no matter; this is where I am supposed to be. This is the point from which I am suppposed to move forward.

This is a good place for me but it is not perfect. There are things wrong with it. I will fix them. There are things missing. I will add them. I'm getting pretty old and there's not much time left, and that's okay too. I'll do the best can.

Peace.

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Response to JayhawkSD (Reply #4)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 03:56 PM

16. Awesome...



Had I changed anything, even my disastrous first marriage, then I wouldn't have what I do today.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to worry about the bills all the time, but if I had taken a right instead of a left at some point, would my kids be here? Would I have met me 2nd wife? Would I be more of an asshole because I cared too much about money?

Naw.. I'm good.

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Response to JayhawkSD (Reply #4)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 05:23 PM

22. I feel the same way

My life is the sum total of the experiences I have in living it. To quote Megadeath, "hindsight is always 20/20, but looking back it's still a bit fuzzy".

Have I made mistakes ... more than I can count, but I have learned from each and every one. To be anywhere other than here would be an injustice to everywhere I have ever been.

Would not change a thing. Try to do/be better moving forward.

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Response to JayhawkSD (Reply #4)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 12:53 PM

39. I would have bought Apple stock a decade earlier

 

I am doing ok, but had I done that one thing, life would be completely different.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 12:19 PM

5. al gore wins

 

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Response to PowerToThePeople (Reply #5)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 01:02 PM

8. +1 and Carter gets reelected

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Response to PowerToThePeople (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:10 PM

42. John Brown holds the east-bound train for 24 hours. Failing that, Lincoln decides

 

to take a pass on going to the theater.

I like your selection too, btw.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 12:39 PM

6. I would have been a good student at a younger age.

I graduated college at age 40.

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Response to roody (Reply #6)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 08:15 PM

27. Same here.

Well, not the age. I was 31 when I got my bachelors degree. I wish I had exposure to the area where I'm working now when I was younger. Then I wouldn't have felt so lost when I first went to college and realized I didn't know what I wanted to do.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 12:44 PM

7. I'm too dumb to know what to change.

I still haven't been able to figure out where I went wrong. My Mother thinks I'm a little arrogant, and that I think that every decision I ever made was the right one to have made at the time. But I don't think I'm arrogant. I just can't figure out, for the life of me, what I could have done any differently that would have made things turn out any better.

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Response to dawg (Reply #7)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:30 PM

46. Mothers. Bah, what are you gonna do? Few people know that Mark Twain was an

 

abject failure at every business enterprise to which he set his mind, that U.S. Grant was a falling-down drunk before 1861, nor that Sherman was hospitalized for what we now call 'depression' at the start of the Civil War (and almost got his ass whupped at Shiloh).

Not sure why I mention this save that 'failure' like 'beauty' seems to rest in the eye of the beholder.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 01:46 PM

9. 2014? I would have taken my meds and avoided the aneurism and 3 head surgeries.

 

Or maybe not, after the last one on November 5, I woke up in a unprecedentedly positive and happy mood and I'm still there.

I'll never know if I'd be this happy.

In any event, when I changed to ACA I should have picked up the scripts that I had been taking but thought it wouldn't matter if I put it off.

Happy New Year!

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 02:10 PM

11. That is scary, NYC_SKP.

I'm glad you are OK now.

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Response to femmocrat (Reply #11)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 08:03 PM

25. Aw, thanks femmocrat!

 

And a Happy New Year to you and yours!

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 08:18 PM

30. Freaking wow!

Glad you're OK - Happy New Year

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Response to malaise (Reply #30)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 08:20 PM

31. Thanks, darlin'!

 

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #9)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:59 PM

48. I'm glad you are doing better.

I lost my brother to a sudden heart attack in August. He was 51.

I can't help but think he would still be alive if he still had his union construction job. Prior to being laid off in 2009, he had great insurance with zero out of pocket for the first $10k. After being laid off, he was on his wife's insurance with big deductibles and co-pays. With a kid in college and struggling to make ends meet, he put off the little things like doctor visits and check ups.

Insurance is no good unless you can afford to use it.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 02:09 PM

10. Studied more and partied less.

And gotten married later. My twenties were a mess.

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Response to femmocrat (Reply #10)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:26 PM

45. There's a song in there somewhere...

Studied more
Partied less
Married later
20's were a mess

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Response to Iggo (Reply #45)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 06:40 PM

53. LOL

Sounds like a bad country song!

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 02:21 PM

12. In personal terms I would have taken

 

the OTHER job offer I had in my third year of law school. Taking the one I did basically ruined my life since then. The worst part is that part of me knew I was making a mistake at the time even then, but I'd summered there and thought "better the devil you know." I couldn't have been more wrong.

On the more cosmic level, I second for President Gore actually being, ya know, inaugurated in 2001.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 03:31 PM

13. I'd have taken better care of my teeth.

I've no hope in hell that there's anything I could have done to stop my parents smoking... (sigh)

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 03:33 PM

14. My underwear

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 03:49 PM

15. I would have never joined the Army

I joined in 1997 and got out in 2007. Basically, things snowballed over the last 17ish years and my PTSD and depression got pretty out of control this last summer and I attempted suicide. I was locked up in a psych ward for 3.5 months and, since being released in October, my life really hasn't gotten any better.

The only thing I'm really happy about in my life is my kids. I really really really like my kids. Believe it or not, I also like my wife as well when she isn't busting my balls too much over my inability to get things done/function in daily life.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 04:04 PM

17. I'll keep things the same. Oh Wait..um..SummerSnow..I'd help you convince your parants to...

 

...quit smoking. (If that's OK with you)

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 04:06 PM

18. I'd have put pressure on my parents to smoke and drink MORE!

 

Had I been rid of them sooner, I'd be much better off today.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 04:45 PM

19. I would pass...

Aní here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.

Bob Dylan

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 04:53 PM

20. The only real regret I have is that I didn't discard my biological dad from my life sooner

 

But it wasn't until my life had a semi-blowup when I was 16 and 17 that I realized he was never going to change and so had to be cut out of my life. So I don't feel too bad about not realizing he was a cancer for me until then.

And yes, growing up with an abusive dad has shaped my interpersonal relationships after that, but I've grown and changed as I've needed to and as I've matured. But as others say, those previous decisions put me in the place that I am now, which isn't bad all things considered (recent major knee surgery not withstanding). And I wouldn't be the man I am today without making the previous decisions and having other people's poor decisions impact me. Plus going through hard times has made me better appreciate the good times. If I didn't know what an piece of crap my dad is, I wouldn't appreciate my mom or my stepdad as much. If the high school teacher hadn't betrayed my confidence in an attempt to hurt me (and get me kicked out of school), then I wouldn't have appreciated the college professors who believed in me.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 05:02 PM

21. Nothing.

My life hasn't been all roses, by any means, but I have no regrets.

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Response to Blue_In_AK (Reply #21)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:23 PM

44. .

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 05:32 PM

23. I would have put more faith in my opinion of myself, less faith in other's opinions of me.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 06:26 PM

24. I would have stood up to my mother

And not let her guide me off a cliff when it came to college choice.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 08:10 PM

26. Finished my bachelors degree when I first went to college.

I'm happy with how things have turned out. Now at 34 I'm finishing my MBA, but I do wish I hadn't dropped out of college for so many years before returning.


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Response to tammywammy (Reply #26)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 09:39 PM

32. I didn't finish until age 40.

Now I am sort of retiring at 62. So I at least did not get burned out in my career, and I had a lot of fun before 40.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Wed Dec 31, 2014, 08:16 PM

28. Most of the time my intentions were good.




But there were some times when I let down some of the people who matter most
to me. If I could redo that part of my life I would. But you can't unscramble an egg,
what's done is done, so I've got to live with it the best I can.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 06:14 AM

33. chosen a different major

... and thereby had a remunerative and challenging career I'd have enjoyed.

I went to school in the "do what you love and the money will follow" years. In theory that's great, but as it turns out, it doesn't work like that in real life unless you are fortunate enough to love doing specific things or to be super talented at niche jobs.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 07:07 AM

34. when I was living on the edge of the Silicon Valley from 77-81 I should have gotten into computers

in very, very big way

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 07:14 AM

35. Majored in something else and taken college more seriously. nt

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 07:25 AM

36. Never should have returned to the United States after living in Europe for 4 years

 

biggest mistake and regret in my life.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 09:28 AM

38. In 1967 I had a passing interest in the stock market.

Pre-Microsoft. Enough said.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:06 PM

41. Study math and physics, rather than literature and history. - nt

 

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:21 PM

43. If I'd made better choices, my brother would have never met the mothers of my nieces.

Extrapolate from there.

I wouldn't change a thing.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:38 PM

47. I would never take that first drink of alcohol and I would take better care

of my teeth. My nieces are probably tired of hearing about it from me but I don't want them to make the same mistakes I made.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 05:23 PM

49. Exercised more. Saved more.

Well...saved more when we were actually in a position to do so, since the prospect of retiring is looking rather bleak right now.

I don't have any regrets regarding my personal relationships.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 05:28 PM

50. Underwear

 

Every day, instead of once a month.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 05:32 PM

51. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have gone to the roller skating rink with Sandy.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 05:50 PM

52. Spent less time regretting what I did in the past.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 07:46 PM

54. ...

-try out for pee wee football when I was younger and/or play baseball through my middle school years so I would've been ready.
-talk to girls more when I was in high school so that I wouldn't have gone to the prom alone.
-take a better prom photo.
-maintain contact with my friends from middle and high school.
-stop myself from finding paid porn sites.
-learn how to drive before staying in Humboldt.
-stop myself from peeing in my Dad's beer (I did it in an attempt to get him to stop drinking) when I was a little kid.
-stop myself from getting so many edge-ups, and start using hair-strengthening products earlier to slow down my receding hairline.
-spend less money on hats and shirts, and more on coats and shoes.
-stop myself from getting scammed on eharmony.
-select a downstairs apartment instead of an upstairs apartment so that I could be free to make more noise and take my bike in-and-out easier.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 07:59 PM

55. Instead of the lay off - I would have taken

The offer in Europe.

I would have met my husband 8 years earlier. He was doing an artist in residency for a few months and lived in the same "corporate rental" building I would have in Amsterdam.

Or when we did get to the same longitude/latitude - I would have looked up more. He saw me around for two years before someone hooked us up.

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 08:00 PM

56. I never would have poked it.

 

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 08:18 PM

57. I never would have married my first wife. nt

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Response to SummerSnow (Original post)

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 08:35 PM

58. I would have married the man I loved..

Instead of marrying the man my parents wanted me to marry for all the wrong reasons. I still regret not following my heart even after all these years. Silly me.

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