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Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:25 AM

Today is the 25th anniversary of my sobriety.

25 years ago today, 1/14/90, I came to the realization that my 3 friends who always told me that alcohol was a problem were right, after about 2 years of telling them to go f*** themselves. 2 of those people I still count as close friends. The other guy & I simply lost touch.

I'm not going to preach or pontificate. I will only say that if YOU struggle with addiction, than get to a meeting and realize that you CAN get here from there. It is NOT hopeless!

I know that if I hadn't stopped drinking, I wouldn't have, or deserve, the wife and son that I have today.

Is life perfect? No. Is it better sober than drunk? Yes!

25 years ago today I had 1 day's sobriety. One day at a time!

Thank you for allowing me to share.

PEACE!

113 replies, 5870 views

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Arrow 113 replies Author Time Post
Reply Today is the 25th anniversary of my sobriety. (Original post)
MarianJack Jan 2015 OP
RKP5637 Jan 2015 #1
BillZBubb Jan 2015 #2
CurtEastPoint Jan 2015 #3
In_The_Wind Jan 2015 #4
peace13 Jan 2015 #5
etherealtruth Jan 2015 #6
MarianJack Jan 2015 #107
etherealtruth Jan 2015 #112
gwheezie Jan 2015 #7
cilla4progress Jan 2015 #8
stevenleser Jan 2015 #9
CrispyQ Jan 2015 #10
MarianJack Jan 2015 #109
kydo Jan 2015 #11
Roy Rolling Jan 2015 #12
Paladin Jan 2015 #13
Stuart G Jan 2015 #14
H2O Man Jan 2015 #15
Warren Stupidity Jan 2015 #16
phil89 Jan 2015 #26
BubbaFett Jan 2015 #27
busterbrown Jan 2015 #48
BubbaFett Jan 2015 #49
busterbrown Jan 2015 #51
mountain grammy Jan 2015 #39
upaloopa Jan 2015 #54
Warren DeMontague Jan 2015 #89
Greybnk48 Jan 2015 #17
Iggo Jan 2015 #18
ybbor Jan 2015 #32
oldandhappy Jan 2015 #19
cherokeeprogressive Jan 2015 #20
irisblue Jan 2015 #21
niyad Jan 2015 #22
tomm2thumbs Jan 2015 #23
jehop61 Jan 2015 #24
bigwillq Jan 2015 #25
merrily Jan 2015 #28
MarianJack Jan 2015 #110
merrily Jan 2015 #113
sharp_stick Jan 2015 #29
Jack Rabbit Jan 2015 #30
sinkingfeeling Jan 2015 #31
ChazInAz Jan 2015 #33
charin Jan 2015 #34
Faux pas Jan 2015 #35
Diclotican Jan 2015 #36
Spitfire of ATJ Jan 2015 #37
elias49 Jan 2015 #82
Inkfreak Jan 2015 #38
WHEN CRABS ROAR Jan 2015 #40
blockhead Jan 2015 #86
pscot Jan 2015 #41
Hekate Jan 2015 #42
Onlooker Jan 2015 #43
rurallib Jan 2015 #44
cwydro Jan 2015 #45
NEOhiodemocrat Jan 2015 #46
Phentex Jan 2015 #47
Motown_Johnny Jan 2015 #50
underpants Jan 2015 #52
BubbaFett Jan 2015 #53
TorchTheWitch Jan 2015 #55
cordelia Jan 2015 #56
Andy823 Jan 2015 #57
graywarrior Jan 2015 #58
Warpy Jan 2015 #59
pnwmom Jan 2015 #60
brewens Jan 2015 #61
calimary Jan 2015 #62
blm Jan 2015 #63
cally Jan 2015 #64
DFW Jan 2015 #65
ColesCountyDem Jan 2015 #66
Blue_In_AK Jan 2015 #67
man4allcats Jan 2015 #68
MarianJack Jan 2015 #111
Ramses Jan 2015 #69
blaze Jan 2015 #87
Warren DeMontague Jan 2015 #91
get the red out Jan 2015 #104
Warren DeMontague Jan 2015 #105
Yo_Mama Jan 2015 #70
amandabeech Jan 2015 #71
Skittles Jan 2015 #72
eridani Jan 2015 #73
mnhtnbb Jan 2015 #74
tulsakatz Jan 2015 #75
Lil Missy Jan 2015 #76
Skittles Jan 2015 #98
cindyperry Jan 2015 #77
A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2015 #78
smirkymonkey Jan 2015 #79
BeyondGeography Jan 2015 #80
democrank Jan 2015 #81
madokie Jan 2015 #83
LiberalElite Jan 2015 #84
Boreal Jan 2015 #85
senseandsensibility Jan 2015 #88
Warren DeMontague Jan 2015 #90
elias49 Jan 2015 #92
libodem Jan 2015 #93
vanlassie Jan 2015 #94
Pauldg47 Jan 2015 #95
DrewFlorida Jan 2015 #96
mackerel Jan 2015 #97
countryjake Jan 2015 #99
bpollen Jan 2015 #100
vive la commune Jan 2015 #101
Recursion Jan 2015 #102
jschurchin Jan 2015 #103
90-percent Jan 2015 #106
NaturalHigh Jan 2015 #108

Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:29 AM

1. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:30 AM

2. Wow! Congratulations on that milestone!!!!

Keep up the good work, as you say one day at a time.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:31 AM

3. Very impressive! Thank you for sharing and being a role model.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:32 AM

4. Thanks for sharing.

Congratulations!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:33 AM

5. That is great!

 

I am so happy for you! Gotta love our friends who help us through this crazy life! Peace and love to you!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:33 AM

6. Congratulations! People like you give me hope (for my youngest child)

He's 18 and has been sober for 1.5 years. You give me hope!

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Response to etherealtruth (Reply #6)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 06:56 PM

107. Good for him!

How's he doing overall?

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Reply #107)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 10:32 PM

112. He's doing "Ok"

we admitted him to a really good inpatient program 1.5 years ago and it seemed to give him really good tools.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:35 AM

7. May I quote you?

You made several points that I would like to pass along to some of my clients. 1st 25 years sober is real. If the people who like you tell you you drink too much you are drinking too much. And life is better sober.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:43 AM

8. Kudos to you.

You are a strong, strong person.

All my respect.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:46 AM

9. Congratulations! Here...

 







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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:51 AM

10. Nice post and thank you.

I struggle getting on & staying on the path. I found this quote from the new show "Elementary" about Sherlock Holmes, to be very succinct & accurate for me.

“The road to recovery, I’ve found, is as treacherous as it is tedious.”

The tediousness is the surprising part. I also try to keep this one in mind when I'm struggling:

"I didn't say it would be easy. I said it would be worth it."

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Response to CrispyQ (Reply #10)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 06:59 PM

109. The first 3 years I was sober...

...were as hard, or harder, than the last 10 that I was drunk! Hang in there!

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 11:53 AM

11. Been a friend of Bill's for 14 years. Mega Congrats!

Being reasonably happy seems to work well. The middle.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:00 PM

12. Nice! n/t

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:08 PM

13. Well done. Congrats. (nt)

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:11 PM

14. Congratulations...I like, "One Day At A Time" Best Wishes..nt.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:13 PM

15. Recommended!

Outstanding!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:23 PM

16. 28 years. No meetings.

 

Congratulations on your sobriety, and for those out there like me who cannot stand AA, that is not the only path. You are in control of you, there is no higher power, make of your life what you will.

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Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #16)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:03 PM

26. Very true.

 

Many people do not know about other rational/secular options such as rational recovery.

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Response to phil89 (Reply #26)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:05 PM

27. Most people simply mature out of it

 

AA is good from the standpoint of the fellowship. The actual program of recovery (the "big book" is just recycled holy roller bullshit.

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Response to BubbaFett (Reply #27)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:07 PM

48. Agree!!!

But some respond well to the holy roller crap.. Keeps them sober..I guess fear of God, helps some..

The fellowship, I couldn’t do without.. Essential for me.. Meetings are my escape from the parts of the world I can not stand..

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Response to busterbrown (Reply #48)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:08 PM

49. It's a form of community

 

and for this drunk, being alone is the first step to walking into a saloon.

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Response to BubbaFett (Reply #49)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:20 PM

51. Absolutely...!!!

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Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #16)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 02:11 PM

39. Whatever works!

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Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #16)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:38 PM

54. Like you said there's more than one way to see

things. A lot of people like me do believe in a higher power and in turning things over. It has been a life saver for me. I have 31 years sobriety. I would never tell someone there is a higher power or that there isn't. Staying sober is the goal. I quit going to meetings long ago but still turn it over.

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Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #16)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 10:09 PM

89. Thank you for pointing that out.

One size most certainly does not fit all.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:26 PM

17. Bravo!!

That is a very difficult thing to do and your success is commendable! There are several in my family who have succeeded as well, and a couple who are still struggling but will make it I'm sure! Again, bravo!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:28 PM

18. Keep Coming Back.



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Response to Iggo (Reply #18)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:34 PM

32. That's what I was gona say


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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:32 PM

19. Outstanding!!

Congratulations!! Well Done!! WOW

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:32 PM

20. Happy Birthday!

 

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:32 PM

21. Congratulations

thanks for sharing

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:38 PM

22. k and r and congratulations!! thank you for sharing this important milestone with us.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:45 PM

23. Yay!! Celebrating with you on a great achievement


Great!!!!!!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:56 PM

24. Mazel tov

One day at a time

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 12:59 PM

25. Good for you!

 



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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:05 PM

28. Congratulations!

BTW. you always deserved good people and good things in your life. But drinking was not a good thing in life and you deserved better. Also, while you drank, you probably forgot about being good to good people.

But, no point rehashing on this happy day. Point is, you deserve good things and good people, full stop.

Here's to another hundred years, one day at a time.

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Response to merrily (Reply #28)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 07:02 PM

110. Thank you, and...

...you're right. I didn't know how to treat people right.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Reply #110)

Fri Jan 16, 2015, 04:14 AM

113. If I am right about that, I am also right that you are deserving and always were.



I guessed. My father was one person sober and a very different one when he drank. Fortunately, he did not drink every day.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:12 PM

29. Good For You

My father is on his 19th year.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:30 PM

30. Congratulations


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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:33 PM

31. Congratulations!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:34 PM

33. Bravo!

Keep coming back.
You've already seen that it DOES get better.
Just finishing my 34'th year.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:40 PM

34. Right behind you!

Class of '90 here, too, August 14th. The hardest year was that last year of drinking!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:44 PM

35. Congrats MarianJack!

January 2 of this year marked my 22nd year without booze.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:55 PM

36. MarianJack

MarianJack

Congratulations - not bad keeping it togheter for 25 years.

Diclotican

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 01:57 PM

37. I'll drink to that!

 

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #37)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:33 PM

82. Ugh... nt

 

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 02:08 PM

38. ....

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 02:12 PM

40. Every day is a good one.

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Response to WHEN CRABS ROAR (Reply #40)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:54 PM

86. until you miss one!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 02:19 PM

41. Well done

I passed the 6 year mark in December and I know where of you speak.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 02:27 PM

42. ~~~~*~~~~~

And many more

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 02:39 PM

43. Awesome

 

As a therapist, I have worked with many addicts. The reasons for addiction and the challenges that addicts face in living a sober life are often immense. Anyone who stays sober 1 day at a time for over 9,125 days and counting has not only turned his life around, but is an inspiration to anyone who faces difficult times, illness, or other challenges. Congratulations!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 03:03 PM

44. Congratulations! Are you doing any program?

Or did you just quit?
I see you indicate 'go to a meeting.'
Either way it is a hell of a victory over one nasty evil.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 03:05 PM

45. Good to hear!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 03:44 PM

46. Congratulations!

Quite the achievement, you should be proud of yourself!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 03:52 PM

47. That's great!

Happy for you!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:17 PM

50. Congratulations!

 

A good friend of mine is hitting 14 years on Sunday. I am so proud of her I don't have the words to express it.

I have no doubt that your friends and loved ones are also proud of, and happy for, you.

Keep on keeping on...


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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:24 PM

52. Congrats

My brother is 7 years sober

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:35 PM

53. Good job

 

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:40 PM

55. FANTASTIC!!!

That's one hell of a huge milestone! I'm so very proud of you!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 04:42 PM

56. Congratulations!

You give hope to those of us who share your journey.

AA works for me for now; if it stops I hope I'll have presence of mind to seek alternate solutions before my life turns to shit again.



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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 05:19 PM

57. Congratulations

I have to agree with you 100%, life is not perfect, but it is better when you are sober. October 31st 2015 I will have 30 years sober. One day at a time really works.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 05:38 PM

58. Congratulations!

28 years coming up for me in February. Day At A Time.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 05:47 PM

59. Happy Birthday!

That's a lot of days, one day at a time.

No, it's not hopeless, my ex finally got sober and stayed that way. So have a few of my family members.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 05:59 PM

60. Some of my most beloved and inspiring people have a story like yours.

And we all, no matter what our situations, need to take one day at a time.

Congrats, MarianJack!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 06:03 PM

61. 300 days for me.

Just not all in a row!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 06:19 PM

62. Congratulations and Happy "Birthday"!!!!

That is such a huge accomplishment and a lot to be proud of!

Your advice - "get to a meeting" - is worth EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 06:38 PM

63. ((MarianJack))

.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 06:42 PM

64. Happy Birthday

It is a journey but one that is worth it.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 06:54 PM

65. Well done!

I have been sober for almost 63 years (I am almost 63), but I cheated. I was born with some genetic quirk that makes me hate the taste of just about any alcoholic drink, so I never touch the stuff for the simple reason that I can't stand the taste of it.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 07:16 PM

66. Happy silver anniversary to you and your sobriety!

Well done!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 07:48 PM

67. Congratulations.

That is definitely something to celebrate.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 07:49 PM

68. Coming up on 4 months.

I can't even begin to imagine 25 years. My hat is off to you, sir.

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Response to man4allcats (Reply #68)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 07:05 PM

111. At one point,...

...I was at 4 months also! Hang in there!

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 07:51 PM

69. Congratulations

 

But I believe alcoholism is genetic and I dont believe telling people to go to meetings will help them. just my opinion.

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Response to Ramses (Reply #69)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:58 PM

87. Well gosh... wasn't that encouraging. Why the hell did you post? nt

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Response to blaze (Reply #87)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 10:29 PM

91. It could have been phrased better, but he has a point.

Unfortunately suffering and active alcoholics are often told there is Only One Way™ to achieve Real Sobriety™-- and it involves attending 12 step meetings AND something which is pretty obviously a thinly veiled religious experience/conversion.

Which is fine, for some people

Which is wonderful and works, for some people

However, telling an Atheist that they need to figure out a way to come to terms with "God", whatever semantic leeway is given with that term (never mind the bit about the lord's prayer) or else they will invariably suffer and die--- yeah, a lot of us who have been around the block with this stuff, have more than a small problem with that.

I respect the OP's accomplishment, but the throwaway line about "get to a meeting"- personally, I think "try AA and the 12 steps, or if they don't work for you, remember there are OTHER options that work for other people, like Rational Recovery, etc".. I think that would work better, and inclusively recognize the many and growing alternatives to AA and the 12 steps as well as the fully legitimate issues that some people- like some Atheists*, for instance- have with AA.

[font size=1]*yes I know all about your atheist meeting, thanks.[/font]

Unfortunately it is taken as gospel in many 12 step circles that it is the ONLY way, or the ONLY way that works, or the ONLY way that "really" works (sober people not 'doing the steps' not being really sober, tautology-style)

So yeah, it's a problem.

And the poster is right, there is quite likely something genetic going on with many forms of alcoholism. That seems to me to be an incontrovertible fact.

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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #91)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 08:33 AM

104. I totally agree with you

And I have participated successfully in "the only way" for 21 years. The basic of AA actually says that "more will be revealed", and that tends to be dismissed. I blame the "treatment" industry. They have monetary reasons to not offer other methods, that do exist and have been successful. Then the treatment industry sends people to meetings who pass on what the treatment industry emphasized. $$$$$ like in all things.

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Response to get the red out (Reply #104)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 08:45 AM

105. I hear ya, I know a lot of 12 steppers who get it, and aren't threatened by other avenues

that may work for other folks.

The important thing is that people find and do what works for them. A lot of people that's AA, and that's awesome for those people.

I think you're right about the treatment industry, also court-mandated 12 step meetings have some obvious constitutional issues that now are being recognized. And that's another irony- most of the 12 steppers I know don't WANT the people who don't want to be there, being forced into the meetings. They want people who want what they have. Which is as it should be.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 08:13 PM

70. Congrats, from the heart, and here's to the next 25 years of one day at a time.

Yes, life sober is better.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 08:15 PM

71. Congratulations! Keep up the good work! nt

 

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 08:26 PM

72. congratulations to you, MarianJack

alcohol has taken a heavy toll on my family (brother, aunt, uncles, grandfather)

I'd like to also remind people if you've tried to quit and failed, KEEP TRYING, however many times it takes....each time you learn something and can move forward.....never give up the fight

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 08:26 PM

73. Good for you!

I'm one of those people who are biologically immune from addiction, so direct empathy is hard for me. Having known other people who struggle, it is a very hard thing you did. And continue to do every day.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 08:54 PM

74. Congratulations to you!

That's one helluva anniversary!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 08:56 PM

75. congratulations!!

I quit drinking in 1991 except I didn't use a 12 step program....it's a long story but I will tell you if you really want to hear about it.

You're right, life is better when you're sober. One time several years after I quit drinking, I was on a date with a guy where we went to a small dinner party at a friend's house. My date had had quite a bit too much to drink & was doing some embarassing things. But even though it was a little embarassing to be with him, the whole night I sat there knowing I had done similar things in the past too....& that was the part that really embarassd me!! I knew I had acted in similar ways in the past & had probably behaved even worse!

Congratulations on creating a better life for yourself, it is a miracle when we are able to overcome difficult problems like this!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:03 PM

76. Congratulations!

6 years for me.

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Response to Lil Missy (Reply #76)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 04:18 AM

98. good for you Lil Missy!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:09 PM

77. congratulations

to putting another 24 hours in the rear view mirror my husband just celebrated 28 years one day at a time keep it simple and keep on keeping on

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:16 PM

78. We are not a glum lot!

Enjoy, brother. I'm 28, 3-31-86.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:22 PM

79. Congratulations!

That is an amazing accomplishment!! (and I know what I am talking about )

You should be very proud of yourself!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:28 PM

80. Awesome

Congratulations, each and every day.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:28 PM

81. 25 years sober? Quite an accomplishment!

Congratulations~

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:34 PM

83. That is awesome

I'm still less than 8 years in my sobriety. Can't remember the last drink though. We had to quit running in the same circle for me to make it work. I don't miss a single one of my old drinking buddies cause when I do happen to see them I can't get away fast enough. I just can't stand to be around someone whose drinking.

Becoming a Papa was what it took for me to sober up. One day I'll tell my grand daughter about how she helped me to extend my life. I did not want my brand new grand daughter to know her papa as a drunk and thats that.
Thats all it took.

Breaking the habit of drinking was the hardest part for me. The physical part was easy for some reason. Maybe it was I truly wanted to quit

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:36 PM

84. Well done!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 09:38 PM

85. Congrats

 

I've known a fair amount of alcoholics, some who still use and others who got sober. For those who still use, I grieve because it has destroyed their lives and the lives of those who love them.

Very happy for you, MarianJack! Keep it up, one day at a time

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 10:08 PM

88. Congratulations!

Very inspiring. Thanks for sharing with us.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 10:16 PM

90. Good for you!

I know a lot of people whose lives have been saved by the 12 steps.

And a lot of people whose lives have been saved by other paths- like Rational Recovery or secular groups like SOS, as well.

Anyone who manages extended sobriety- and 25 years is certainly a respectable stretch! - deserves accolades, whether they credit themselves or a higher power of their own definition. Good for you.

For me it was figuring out that without booze, life was pretty good.. and with it, there wasn't much "life" at all. It took a while.

If people are suffering, I would echo that it's not hopeless, and also reiterate that while AA, meetings, and the steps work for some people, other methods work better for others. One size does not fit all.

Congratulations, again.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Wed Jan 14, 2015, 10:50 PM

92. Bravo! It isn't easy

 

be proud of yourself.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 12:14 AM

93. Happy Birthday

May you have 25 more.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 12:47 AM

94. Very Impressive.

Congratulations!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 01:08 AM

95. 24 years ....

...last June w meetings every Saturday mornings.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 01:18 AM

96. Congratulations, Good for You!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 02:32 AM

97. Happy Birthday!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 04:20 AM

99. Peace to you, too, MarianJack!

And thank YOU for sharing what this day means to you. I'm sure by now you've heard plenty of Happy Birthdays and Congrats all around, so let me just say that I'm real glad to hear that you've got all of those years sober.

My SO will celebrate his 22nd year of clean and sober living this summer, but he accomplished that without any meetings, so the kudos he deserves for managing to beat his addictions are few, tho I do always bake him a nice chocolate cake and thank him for choosing life rather than the terrible path he'd been headed down. He calls me his normy and while I'll never be able to fully understand the power of any addiction, I can appreciate the struggle that it takes to overcome one.

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 06:49 AM

100. 33 years in April...

and I have the utmost respect for every single day that you chose to be sober -- today. That's over 9 thousand victories!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 07:25 AM

101. Congrats!

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 07:31 AM

102. Here's to today

And as many todays as you can manage to string together

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 08:06 AM

103. Congratulations My Friend!!

 

Feels great, Doesn't it??

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 11:16 AM

106. Congratultions. Makes me want to share.....

Alcoholism is one nasty pernicious disease. My wife was an alcoholic. I knew she had drinking problems when I married her, but so did I. I thought; “Wow! She’s great. She’s the first woman I met that wasn’t horrified by my drinking.”

She found AA early in our marriage and went in and out. I think she “got with the program” around 1995 and stayed with it long enough to earn her ten year AA coin. But around 2005 she relapsed and she always told me that each relapse was worse than the previous one.

She also told me that alcoholism is the root cause of many deaths attributed to other factors. She died October 2013 of head and neck cancer, which, like most diseases, is better cured if caught early. Around 2009 her dentist saw things in her mouth that were pre-cancerous looking. She had an irrational fear of Doctors and needles, so she kept her condition a secret from me for two years and HEPA laws prevented her dentist from talking to me about it. Sometime late 2011 or early 2012 she got a registered letter from him and the cat was out of the bag and by then the pain was too much for her to ignore, so she finally went to get checked out. First of three operations was September 2012.

She hated life so much I think she wanted to die and took action to make that happen. Or maybe it was “alcoholic thinking” that made her do what she did? The only good thing that came of all this is in her last year on earth I did kind of get her back, in that she stopped her alcoholic drinking, and we did drink together when we went out to eat, but she ceased the 24/7 consumption of about three big bottles of rum a week. I lost my job about six months before she died and I was actually grateful for that as I spent as much time with her as I could in her final moments on earth. It was bittersweet when she returned to mostly sobriety and fully realized how much “she really did it this time”. Her force of will was tremendous, and she was drinking so much she was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and jaundice stuff. But, she fully recovered from the alcohol damage by sheer force of will.

For the sake of history, she also suffered a seizure in 2007 as a result of a brain tumor SHE KNEW SHE HAD FOR FIFTEEN YEARS. A doctor discovered it in the early 90’s from a CATSCAN for chronic jaw pain. Her understanding was that, well, yeah, you’ve got a brain tumor, but not to worry. It will never get worse or bother you in the slightest. I do not think that was the Doctors message to her when it was discovered, but that’s alcoholic thinking kicking in again.

She almost died, but eventually got stabilized enough to have the operation and the prognosis was excellent. She would be 90% of her old self with proper care and rehabilitation within six months. But physical rehab was not for her. Instead she chose to stay immobile in bed and alcoholic drink, which rendered her right arm and leg somewhat useless.

Unfortunately, I didn’t realize while all this was going on how classic co-dependent I was. My identity and self-worth was highly dependent on her, and it’s only in hindsight and therapy that I fully realize the effect of her choosing death and checking out of life and family had on me. She rejected me, her family, and her friends and chose death over all of us.

I always had hope she would turn things around and chose to go back to the wonderful magical delightful smart and accomplished woman she was, but, in hindsight, I should have gone the whole al-anon route and take care of myself and not try to change my alcoholic. So it’s only recently that I’ve worked on restoring my life to be happy and healthy alone, without depending on a mate for my happiness and self-worth. And I’m getting there. I’m revisiting my entire value system and how I ran my life and I’m pleasantly surprised to discover I’m kind of a fighter and I’m kind of finding my spark and drive to lead a full constructive happy rewarding life.

I went to a lot of AA meetings with her and learned some of AA doctrine. I like “take what you need and leave the rest”, as I’m more of a “rational recovery” kind of person. I’m a binge drinker and if I had the choice, that’s the type of alcoholism I would have chosen. But it still has plenty of life and health wrecking pitfalls that I’m well aware of and dealing with it rationally. It’s been a long time since I practiced mature self-control and self-discipline, but I’m getting there and I’m acutely aware of the dangers of my form of alcoholism.

Congratulations on your sobriety and I guess my point is this disease not only does a number on the alcoholic, but also to everybody close to them. And please try not to make the same mistakes I made coping with her disease.

-90% Jimmy

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Response to MarianJack (Original post)

Thu Jan 15, 2015, 06:58 PM

108. Hey! Congratulations!

Man, that's quite the accomplishment.

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