Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCiting Security Concerns, Boehner to Do All Drinking at Work/ reasons are reported by Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Citing what he called security concerns, House Speaker John Boehner said on Wednesday that he would do all of his drinking at the office for the foreseeable future.
Boehner said that he may have to stay at work later in order to get his drinking done, but added, Im doing it for the American people. They need to know that their Speaker is safe.
Calling the move a temporary security measure taken out of an abundance of caution, the Ohio Republican said that his decision to do all of his drinking at the office should in no way be seen as a negative comment on the nations bartenders, who do fine work.
To the men and ladies who stand behind the bar, let me say this: Ill be back, he said, choking up.
Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com.
InfoView thread info, including edit history
TrashPut this thread in your Trash Can (My DU » Trash Can)
BookmarkAdd this thread to your Bookmarks (My DU » Bookmarks)
4 replies, 1002 views
ShareGet links to this post and/or share on social media
AlertAlert this post for a rule violation
PowersThere are no powers you can use on this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
ReplyReply to this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
Rec (12)
ReplyReply to this post
4 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Citing Security Concerns, Boehner to Do All Drinking at Work/ reasons are reported by Andy Borowitz (Original Post)
Mira
Jan 2015
OP
dhill926
(16,339 posts)1. absolutely perfect….
gonna be a great two years for satirists if miserable for most of us...
KT2000
(20,577 posts)2. Borowitz is so good and
we really need his wit. The next two years are going to be a challenge.
I'll be back," he said, choking up.
2naSalit
(86,612 posts)3. I like the way he thinks. n/t
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)4. Satire is ahead of the curve once again...nt