Six Weeks’ Paid Leave Opposed By People With Thirty-Three Weeks’ Paid Leave /observes Andy Borowitz

[Mira]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Obama’s proposal to give workers six weeks of paid leave is meeting strong opposition from a group of people who annually receive thirty-three weeks of paid leave.Members of the group heard the President’s proposal on Tuesday night, one of the few nights of the year when they are required to report to their workplace.

The opponents of paid leave, who show up for work a hundred and thirty-seven days per year and receive paid leave for the other two hundred and twenty-eight, were baffled by other moments in the President’s speech.

For example, they were confused by Obama’s challenge to try to survive on a full-time job that pays fifteen thousand dollars, since they all currently hold a part-time job that pays a hundred and seventy-four thousand dollars

www.borowitzreport.com

[Overseas]

1. K&R. Well said.

[pacalo]

2. This isn't even satire; it's the sad truth.

[project_bluebook]

3. They suffer from a mental illness called greed

or I've got mine, to hell with you.

[Gormy Cuss]

4. Because six weeks would ruin productivity or something.

[Mira]

5. No. It would make them stronger.

It would empower the family. It would help raise smarter kids. It would be a start to raise the mental acuity of "the American people" as Boner refers to them in every sentence he pruduces as a crutch to fill out the vacuous rest of the message he gives.

[Omaha Steve]

6. Not just six weeks

They seem to be against any paid leave.

[bluesbassman]

9. Truth is Steve, I think they're against pay period.

Unless you're someone who can write them a fat campaign check you should be happy gleaning the fields for stubble to burn so you can cook the rat you trapped for the family's dinner.

[closeupready]

7. Oink oink.

[Scuba]

8. K&R

[Dems2002]

10. Sigh

Okay, I know that this is funny for a lot of us and there's no doubt members are out of touch. But District work is still work. And attending all of the various asundry local meetings of this or that group is work. Fundraising is work. It's not work in our best interest, but the current system forces all members to do it whether they like it or not.

I know our Congress is completely dysfunctional, but I'm kind of tired of this meme. Members don't go home and put their feet up. We'd be better off if they all spent more time in their Districts.

[geardaddy]

11. Look at that fuckhead Emmer right in the middle.

I pity the Minnesota Sixth District. First Batshit Crazy Bachmann, now him.