Why are people so mean to each other online?

[Sherman A1]

It used to be the case that people got their gossip over the garden fence or from a bit of curtain twitching. But now we have the internet and the nature of chat has changed forever.

They way we communicate online jumped back into the headlines last week when Monica Lewinsky, famous for her love affair with President Clinton, spoke at the Ted (Technology, Entertainment and Design) conference in Vancouver.

Describing herself as one of the first victims of cyber-gossip, she said that it had taken her over a decade to get over it. Now back in the public eye, she called for a more compassionate internet.

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-31749753?ocid=socialflow_facebook

[TheCowsCameHome]

1. Anonymity and made- up names.

They create quite a shield.

[A HERETIC I AM]

2. Yup...that and no threat of getting slapped...OW!

WELL....SHIT.

[Takket]

3. Anonymity plus hate is

A dangerous combination. Why do you think the KKK wears hoods?

[Sherman A1]

8. Agreed

I believe it to be the combination of factors, not simply just one or the other. There is a tremendous amount of anger in this world, just commuting to work each day one can see it in other drivers, that anger and the ability to be anonymous makes it easy to let it out online and that is a shame as real people get hurt in that event.

[arcane1]

38. There is a lot more support on the internet too, so it's not just the lone town idiot

Now that idiot has a whole world of other idiots to connect with and get support from.

[rock]

20. Because they're so proud of being who they are!

Oh no, that couldn't be the case. Because they ashamed of who they are! Yep. That sounds right.

[virgogal]

32. Correct---the KKK and the Guy Fawkes mask crowd too. Cowards all.

[NuclearDem]

4. Anonymity.

Also, I strongly urge people to watch Lewinsky's speech. It was quite good.

[lpbk2713]

5. No fear of accountability

One can make a statement as snarky and obnoxious as they
please and never even come back to view the replies.

[cwydro]

6. We see plenty of it right here.

Name calling and viciousness every day in GD.

People seem unable to disagree without being disagreeable.

[Sherman A1]

10. Precisely

and that is certainly sad.

[cwydro]

11. Most often it's the same posters.

Over and over again.

[el_bryanto]

12. That's not just anonymity though i don't think

Anonymity is key across the internet and there's lots of that here too; but there is also the presumption of bad faith. Many people here when they see an opinion they don't agree with, conclude that the person with that opinion is a bad person. I don't know why that is; logic would dictate that most of us probably do agree on most issues.

Or to put it another way, you take any two regular DUers and give them 20 issues, I'd wager that on at lest 15 issues they will come down on the same side; but for some reason those one or two issues that they disagree on outweigh all of the ones they do agree on.

Bryant

[jeff47]

16. It's easier to dismiss an argument that comes from a "bad person".

A lot of our positions arise from rational thought. Those are easy to defend. But sometimes our positions come down to emotion and personal quirks.

It's hard to come up with a coherent argument when your position comes from something like "I'm afraid of ______".

But it's easy to claim your "opponent" is in the pocket of big _____, so you don't have to.

[Wella]

19. "People seem unable to disagree without being disagreeable." +1000

Wish I could rec your post.

[arcane1]

40. No we don't!! I disagree!!!

[cwydro]

41. Lol!

[Gidney N Cloyd]

7. You haven't seen nasty until you've fielded webmaster mail.

People who probably couldn't find their own ass with both hands, a map, and a flashlight love to tell you just what's wrong with your web site.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

9. Because if you talk shit to people in real life you risk getting your head handed to you.

It's really not complex.

[LuvNewcastle]

14. Exactly.

Online trolls are cowards. They know they won't have to face any consequences for being assholes, so they take out their frustrations on people they don't even know.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

15. I'm not a countenancing clocking people who insult/disrespect you.

However that is always a live possibility.

[reflection]

21. George Carlin had it nailed down.

[olddots]

13. look up cyberdisinabition

being mean on line is a paradox that makes no sense as it makes sense .Like making crank phone calls to get attention , in this world of 7 billion people needing attention where news is fabricated instead of searched for we all...yup all of us want to be noticed and need to be noticed .

[raccoon]

49. Cyber-disinhibition

Cyber-disinhibition is a term coined by Daniel Goleman, an expert in the field of Emotional Intelligence. Goleman maintains that Internet based communications actually undermine the quality of human interactions by enabling more negative styles of communications, or more accurately, by preventing the neural checks to such behavior. Consequently, because of the growing ubiquity of Internet based communication, Cyber-disinhibition manifests itself regularly in such ways as flame wars, Cyber-bullying, and hostile blog comments. All of which, Goleman maintains, are much more frequent than negative face-to-face interactions



http://newmedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cyber-disinhibition

[NuclearDem]

17. Relevant (and probably NSFW):

[Inkfreak]

52. LMAO! "Politics make me sooooo horney.."

[Javaman]

18. Nice Post, Hitler!

I kid I kid.

You are right.

the internet allows people to devolve into their most basic life forms.

[closeupready]

22. My personal view is that those who are especially rude are socially autistic, i.e.,

people who find society frustrating. Participation online is a social activity which is rewarding in one way, but without a lot of the bullshit face-to-face interactions involve (and which normal people have learned to handle effectively).

So that whereas normal people in face-to-face encounters have the same emotional reaction to nonsense which online people do, normal people finesse a way of responding which allows the recipient to save face. Heavy internet participants who spend all day, every day, online in Warcraft or Reddit or wherever, are more direct with relative impunity.

[Fumesucker]

24. A lot of people thrive on conflict, I have a couple in my own family who are that way...

If they can't incite conflict at this moment they'll just rehash old conflicts in order to get their anger fix. The ones I know aren't even online much, they pick fights in real life.

I've been convinced for a long time now that anger is addictive and there are a lot of anger addicts out there.

[closeupready]

25. I agree with that, too. Anger in US culture is macho, thus you have lots of angry American men.

[Fumesucker]

28. The worst of my relatives is a woman approaching sixty...

Someone who is absolutely wrapped up in gossip and conflict, reads the celebrity gossip mags and gossips constantly about anyone and everyone in her life.

Funny thing is when she's not angry and upset she's actually quite a nice person, you just never know when she's going to go off over something amazingly trivial and then stay upset for days.

[RKP5637]

29. In my corporate life I always found it easier to work with a team of women than

men, as often men are or can become such assholes as they move into turf wars. Women, not so much. Women seem to look for solutions while men look for or anticipate the next conflict and are always trigger-armed in their interactions with others. Of course, selection of team members is always most important regardless of the sex.

[closeupready]

37. As a gay man, I've always been suspicious of cultural gender stereotypes; was never

a sports fan or participant, and when I got old enough to hold adult jobs, I resolved (at some point, not sure exactly when) not to EVER take a job working with Type A people of either gender, and in fact, in EVERY INTERVIEW I have with potential employers, I make it clear from the first appropriate occasion to let them know I do not work with screamers or abusers, 'and I hope that's not a problem...?'

That said, I agree that women are likelier to look for consensus and men likelier to search for conflicts in which they can triumph/shine.

[RKP5637]

42. Same here!

[appalachiablue]

36. More of this as in-person activity declines from increased technology, obviously.

We're just at the beginning stage I've read. Should be interesting.

[Fumesucker]

23. Wait until you have been cyberstalked for something you said online

I know for a fact that at least two people have gone to the trouble to find out who I am in real life and used that knowledge to try and intimidate me.

[daleanime]

26. Same reason they're mean to them off-line.....

Fear. It's just easier when you don't have to face people.

[RKP5637]

27. I've often wondered if there were no anonymity on the Internet, no facelessness, how that

would change interactions.

[Fumesucker]

30. A lot of us would be afraid to say anything remotely controversial...

If you live in a right wing area like me you'd keep your trap shut about being a liberal, far too many vindictive right wingers around who will try to cause trouble for you.

[RKP5637]

31. Quite true, there is no easy answer. And, it's so easy to track someone down today. No matter what

one says it's bound to tick off someone, someplace in the world. I prefer being anonymous. I've had one death threat because of a DU post.

[ailsagirl]

33. You are kidding

That's really frightening. What the hell is happening to us??

[RKP5637]

43. Skinner took care of it for me. n/t

[ailsagirl]

46. I'm sorry you had to experience that

...and I hope it never happens again.

Peace

[RKP5637]

47. Thanks!

[cwydro]

39. Years ago,

I had a very nasty pm from a poster that certainly seemed to be a threat.

No idea if that poster is still here or not.

Really creeped me out.

[RKP5637]

44. That's what mine was, a pm. It's really concerning when that comes from out of the blue. Skinner

took care of it for me.

[cwydro]

45. Yeah, I reported it too.

The thread where the disagreement began was so silly as I remember.

No idea why the person became so hostile.

[Kalidurga]

34. People are mean in real life

Some people are mostly just mean online, some are mostly mean in real life. I don't think it's just because they are anonymous if it was that then everyone would be a troll. But, trolls are pretty rare they exist for sure though. If you ever doubt the existence of trolls hang out in the AA forum for a day.

[ND-Dem]

35. 1. It wasn't a "love" affair. 2. It wasn't "cyber-gossip". 3. People are mean on the internet

for the same reasons they're mean in other places.

[longship]

48. Here's why.

[Dpm12]

53. Not-related, but, I fucking LOVE FAR SIDE! N/T

[Ms. Toad]

50. The number of people blaming anonymity is quite ironic

given that every one of them is posting behind the veil of anonymity.

Anonymity is not the problem, and is - in fact - very useful in giving a voice to those whose voices we seldom hear because the prejudices we have about LGBT individuals, people with mental health issues, people with criminal history, battered women, rape survivors, etc. make it risky to connect that part of our identity to our real life persona.

The problem is that people of ill will use whatever tool is available (including anonymity) to further their goals of making life miserable for others.

Rather than remove the very useful tool for helping us her the voices of people whose identity includes a component that is often scorned, we need to focus on building expectations of behavior which further community building rather than tearing down, and tools to enforce those expectations.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

51. The anonymity as opposed to being face to face with someone

Some people are that way when they drive. They'll curse someone in front of them under their breath for slowing them down. If they were walking they'd just politely say "excuse me."

Then again there are those who are plain assholes no matter what.

[KamaAina]

54. Why, you disgusting, sicko, hateful piece of garbage, I oughta...