G.O.P. Chairman Warns Against Hatred for Hillary Peaking Too Soon/ overheard by Borowitz

[Mira]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an urgent memo to the field of G.O.P. Presidential candidates, the Republican National Committee chairman, Reince Priebus, praised them for their relentless personal attacks on Hillary Clinton, but warned that their hatred for the former Secretary of State might be “peaking too early.”

Priebus called the candidates’ ongoing evisceration of Clinton “magnificent,” but expressed his concern that “no human beings, even an impressive group like yourselves, could possibly sustain such a high intensity of throbbing hatred for an entire year and a half.”

“Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint,” he wrote. “You need to leave some hate in the tank.”

In the conclusion of his memo, Priebus advised the candidates to take an occasional day off from hating Clinton so that they could “return to despising her with renewed freshness and vigor.”

Responding to the R.N.C. directive, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) said that he understood Priebus’s concerns, but assured him that, at the end of the day, they were groundless. “Anyone who doesn’t think I’m capable of spewing an infinite stream of vitriol and bile doesn’t know what I’m made of,” he said, pointing with pride to his long record of hating President Obama.

www.borowitzreport.com

by the way, a reminder, if you take out all the vowels from
Reince Priebus you get
RNC PR BS
(he's good at it)
Mira

[underpants]

1. They need to do it like shift work

Whether on the radio or on TV one hour should be Hillary hating and the next not. Each host could do odd or even day Hillary hating sort of like they did in the 70's with gas rationing.

[world wide wally]

2. Maybe during the Republican primary debates, someone will ask the question,

"How much do you hate Hilary Clinton"?
Then we can hear each one of them trying to outdo each other.
It would make for entertaining tv...at least until you had to get up and go vomit.

[louis-t]

6. I see Republican primary debates moving closer toward this:

1. Candidates enter the venue, fire their guns in the air, proceed to podium.
2. "How much do you hate Hilary Clinton"? segment, followed by
3. "Yo momma so ugly..." segment.

[erronis]

14. I'm sure I'm not the only one who was interpreting "firing their guns" in a different way

These guys are all supreme dicks and could probably admire Hillary several times a day.

Don't they have anything positive to contribute? Obviously their spawn isn't.

[Historic NY]

3. LOL......

[Surya Gayatri]

4. Bwaahaaaaa! This warning might be germane for some non-RWers, too!

“no human beings, even an impressive group like yourselves, could possibly sustain such a high intensity of throbbing hatred for an entire year and a half.”

“You need to leave some hate in the tank.”

[Orsino]

5. Beautiful. n/t

[NCTraveler]

7. Andrew Malcolm was used to attack her here the other day.

Slow down tiger. Save the Andrew Malcolm articles for a little closer to go time!!!!!!!!! Don't want to be too transparent too early.

[RecoveringJournalist]

8. I wouldn't be surprised

This is excellent satire. But I wouldn't be surprised if something like this actually happened.

[Gothmog]

9. I love good satire

[liberal N proud]

10. Fiction or truth?

One can tell the difference with republicans, they apt to do anything!

[iandhr]

11. Borowitz's stuff is always good for a good chuckle

[Spitfire of ATJ]

12. I'm waiting for them to do the lesbian angle again.....

Forgetting that Ellen is popular.

[Agschmid]

13. Kick...

There is only so much bullshit to fling...

[Madmiddle]

15. Haters are gonna hate.

Republicans are good at hating. It's their one and only platform.