I was looking for a recipe when this caught my eye: Dieting Under Stress

[midnight]

"DIETING UNDER STRESS
This diet is designed to help you cope with the stresses that build up during the day.
BREAKFAST:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz. skim milk
LUNCH:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 c. steamed spinach
1 c. herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
Rest of Oreos in package
2 pt. Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Nuts, cherries, whipped cream
DINNER:
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
Large sausage, mushroom & cheese pizza
4 cans or 1 lg. pitcher of beer
3 MILKY WAY® or SNICKERS® candy bars
LATE EVENING NEWS:
Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
Rules for this diet.
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food eaten for medicinal purposes never counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples: Peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich or ice cream on a spoon making a sundae."

http://www.cooks.com/recipe/tk9e030r/dieting-under-stress.html

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. ...

[midnight]

7. It hits close to home on many of those dieting tips doesn't it....

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. Sure does!

[shenmue]

2. Yes

[AtomicKitten]

3. Love "the rules."

Rules for this diet:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food eaten for medicinal purposes never counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples: Peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich or ice cream on a spoon making a sundae."

[midnight]

9. Me too...

[LiberalElite]

12. "calorie leakage" Love it!

[merrily]

4. I was going to post that I eat three times as much for

breakfast. Then, I kept reading.

[midnight]

6. I know... me too.

[flygal]

11. Right! It always starts with thinking you'll eat just ONE cookie LOL

[merrily]

13. If my mother had only one cookie while she was pregnant with me,

then there has been an occasion when I had one cookie.

[pinboy3niner]

5. I'm guessing you were looking for another BACON recipe

[freshwest]

10. Everything went to Hell after Lunch. AS USUAL:

Be dead if I ate that way for a day.

[Vinca]

14. Sounds like my diets. They start out so well. LOL.