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It's the old "put a smile on your face and pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" bullshit, all sugar coated in modern therapist talk.
I'll make it simple: At my worst I am a black hole of hopelessness. Oddly I don't get suicidal or feel any great pain, maybe because I was largely a feral child with the nickname "queerbait," autistic spectrum, and clumsy who'd get regularly beat up by bullies at school, even the occasional teacher. But I was safe and fed and loved and protected in a household of artistic chaos, and that gave me the confidence that society was fucked up at least as much as I was, and probably more so.
So anyways, at my worst I am a black hole that all hope and light gets sucked into. I can't stand to be around people and they can't stand to be around me. Before decent crazy-meds I dealt with the problem in the most practical way I could. I tried to be invisible. The trouble always started when I wasn't invisible. I was "asked" to leave college twice.
But here's my point: If I'd internalized all that "be happy" bullshit, it probably would have killed me. Once a person who has this darkness within themselves starts blaming themself for the misery, then the self-destruction begins.
It's the same process our society has inflicted on LGBT people. When LGBT is scolded by family and society as a "lifestyle choice," and that false belief is internalized by a kid, the self-destruction begins. I had a childhood friend who was both a little dark and gay who killed himself. I can't really know the reasons, but our fucked up culture certainly didn't do him any favors.
So yeah, fuck this shit. The world is complicated place and things both good and bad happen for complicated reasons.
If someone asks for help, ask them what they need, don't tell them what they "should" do or how they "should" think. If you ever do play the "should" card, don't be shocked when the person who asked for your help pisses on your happy place.
Well said! I was trying to think of a good post for this, but you said what I couldn't put into words. 
I was reading this and thinking "Does she not get that depression is biochemical?"
I could talk about my own depression, but it's easier to talk about my friend.
He's got a wife and a kid. He owns a small business leading bird tours to Alaska. Major, major bird fiend.
But he perceives everything in his life as boring and empty. Every trip he leads is a hassle. Every bird he chases is a hassle. He doesn't put the kind of energy into his business that will allow it to thrive. He doesn't put the kind of energy into his marriage that will allow it to thrive.
(As an example of that last, I asked him, "Any plans for Mother's Day?" "Nah, what would be the point?" )
He's in a life situation that isn't easy, but it's certainly not as bad as it could be. Nevertheless, he's miserable.
It's not as easy as "Go do something fun." He does objectively fun things all the time.
He's biochemically incapable of having fun.
#14 - Be critical.
Of course I'm only critical when some moron posts some ridiculous thing that needs to be immediately corrected by explaining to the poster just how wrong they are, and why I'm always right, and how they could save so much time and embarrassment by simply agreeing with me right from the start.
Man! Some people!
