Learning about life - in a garden, and meeting other gardeners. just a little Sunday story
It's Sunday and I am in my house and on my sofa, after a day of working in the yard, planting a few things, helping some customers pick out tomato plants, rearranging my driveway, missing my wife (more on that later - she is on a mission that will be tough on her, but demonstrates so much why she is an angel), comforted by my dogs and cats. There is a gentle rain falling and I can her cardinals, towhees, summer tanagers and chickadees calling outside.
In a way, I guess I've been a bit of an ostrich since being shown the door from my pharma job a few years ago - since my book came out late December, it catalyzed a seeming endless series of activities - speaking engagements large and small. far (Seattle) and near (Raleigh), book signings large and small, and over the past month, overlaid with our annual veggie seedling sales and then planting our own garden. I am no happier with the state of the world, depressed at the state of the environment, the staggering numbers of hungry, or abused, or forgotten - made worse in contrast to the ego, greed, careless of the super wealthy and most politicians (yes, I am a bleeding heart - with a B).
But I've immersed myself in what was put before me - the trips, speaking engagements, and signings. Prior to this, I found myself getting a bit bitter - frustrated with people, wondering what they were thinking - or why they weren't. Wondering why so few saw the world like most of us do here on DU. And now that I've done nearly 40 events, met hundreds of people, shared a bit of my passion, my life, heard some of their passions and their lives - it has mellowed me a bit, and made me a bit less angry, more understanding and forgiving, and mostly, realizing that there are lots and lots of good people that do think of things the way we do.
Or maybe it is that gardeners are a slice of life that relish slowing down, listening to birds, looking at the detail in delicate flowers, or delight in the flavor of home grown fruit and vegetables. Maybe the answer to our mess - humanity's mess - is in working harder to find a common interest, learning about the person, and at least finding something to latch onto. I don't know....
My wife's sister has a serious health issue, so she went north yesterday to help out for a few weeks. This leaves me even more time to think....to realize how humbling it is to have a book that people seem to want to hear about and read, to be able to share your excitement with others, and have them share theirs right back at you.
In my driveway, in our month of seedling sales, I've met a few hundred people that we call our "annual friends" - meeting over a common interest. When we used to sell at the local farmers market, it was hectic, insane, no time to talk. In my driveway, each day, there is time to spend, walk around the yard, share some stories and watch friendships develop. In the 15 years we've been doing this we've watched families form - babies born, then children go to school, or head for college. We've heard of lovely people that become ill, and some have moved away, or passed away. It is such a privilege to become little parts of people's lives, and it has given me a chance to share my story as well - over those 15 years we've seen our own two girls have issues that they've overcome and my annual customers often were there just at the right moment as sounding boards. Our customers have heard of the passing of all four of my wife/my parents. And loss of my job - and decision to write a book.
Even on DU, I find myself reaching out more, connecting with people whose posts and contributions I've enjoyed...heard from some that have been a bit absent, but the returning messages are like little gifts that make my day.
We get angry, fight here with each other, have strong opinions. But one thing I've really, really learned this year is that behind the keyboard are people - and it is so good to escape the internet bubble and get out there with other people. It's funny - here I thought my hobby - obsession - was heirloom tomatoes. But really, it's much more than that, I've found - it is just a surrogate for life, community, stories - some tears, laughs - and a surprisingly big quantity of hugs.
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What a lovely post. You are a DU treasure (and, I don't doubt) a treasure to those who know and love you out in the world, far away from message boards.
I find myself nodding in agreement as I read your beautiful post. You have said a mouthful, and I'm so glad I read it.
I have long and strongly felt that there are real people behind those keyboards and screens, and I have friends here in my life to validate that. It is amazing to me that this transition can be made, and made well. And it can affect your entire life. My friendship with WCGreen was such, and I'm so glad we got to meet, electronically and in person.
Messages are like little gifts! Oh, they sure are.
Blessings on you...
okay? okay. 
i saw her today by the way and she told me a little about her aunt and why she doesn't have her mom on mother's day. she's so sweet.
It is definitely one of my comforts in life. And my fine feathered friends...I just can never say enough about the joy they bring every day. Most are regulars with names, but we also get some gorgeous visitors just passing through and stopping in for some nuts, berries and a drink of water.
My husband and I visit Raleigh at least twice a year. His two sons and their families live there, and his daughter will be moving there with her family, later in the summer. We are so happy to have them all so near and we love our visits.
I will leave you with two shots from our garden and feeder. Thank you for such a beautiful post on Mother's Day.
Great Northern Flicker
You are one of my favorite DUers and it is a pleasure to hear your gardening stories. Hope everything goes well with your sister-in-law.
DU is like my second home and I have met lots of wonderful people here. Living in a very conservative area, DU is a welcome escape from it, and has helped me keep my sanity many times!
And you are very sweet for your kind words. thank you.
but unfortunately I have to work that day. 
Will have to meet up with you sometime, though!
and not just for your Lucky Cross tomatoes (though that's kind of debatable... Hm. save the Lucky Cross tomatoes or NRaleighLiberal .. Oh wait, he can produce more delicious things!)
I kid!
You are absolutely right. We are people.
and didn't dry them out properly so they sprouted on me, then got molded
Thanks.
...and was proud to tell the seller of the tomato starts that I *know* the originator.
I planted a dozen plants 2 years ago. Each year I intended to nip the flowers of 1/2 fo them to start them spreading. Each year I ran out of time and energy and discipline.
This. is. the. year. I have the time. But it's cold and gray out, and the black flies showed up 10 days late this year, but in full force with extra hunger.
Just a couple more minutes, and I'm off to start weeding around them and mulching.
Yes, gardening is great for slowing down, listening to the birds and feeling the earth in your fingers.
Great job!
to St. Paul to see PHC. (we "rushed" - no pre-tickets, lined up outside, and got to sit on the stage!). After the show we met Garrison - such a tall, looming, impressive presence - great listener, very gentle person. Loved it!
Thanks, by the way - your comments are too kind - I am not in the same galaxy as Mr. K!
