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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMasturbating men ‘will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife,’ ‘claims Muslim televangelist’
http://metro.co.uk/2015/05/25/masturbating-men-will-find-their-hands-pregnant-in-the-afterlife-claims-muslim-televangelist-5215134/A Muslim televangelist has reportedly claimed that men who masturbate will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife.
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Moreover, one hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights, Hurriyet quotes him as saying.
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reddread
(6,896 posts)BeyondGeography
(39,345 posts)Not fair.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)need more hand than others
Ghost in the Machine
(14,912 posts)"It takes two hands to handle a whopper"?
Ghost
Ghost in the Machine
(14,912 posts)Or, switching hands could be like getting some "strange"?
Ghost
RandySF
(58,477 posts)leftofcool
(19,460 posts)Pauldg47
(640 posts)Tom_Foolery
(4,691 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Tom_Foolery
(4,691 posts)Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)Both religions have some wonderful points about charity and forgiveness.
Too bad they have to be co-opted by greedy hateful people who use religion as a weapon, and not as art and medicine.
Matrosov
(1,098 posts)Same Abrahamic shit, slightly different smell
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)I mean, come on.
FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)Far, far too many.
3catwoman3
(23,946 posts)I am unable to suspend my intellect sufficiently to buy into that which is so patently absurd.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)went out of the window long ago. It's silly.
dawg
(10,621 posts)necessarily saying or believing anything as mind-crushingly ridiculous as pregnant hands.
I believe God exists.
I believe he wants us all to love one another.
I don't overly concern myself about any of the finer details.
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and I taught all my hand-babies to think the same as me.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)a horse to Heaven or those hidden Golden Tablets or Scientology space ships.
So, yeah, good question.
TexasTowelie
(111,934 posts)...or did I? I can't remember.
Hoppy
(3,595 posts)Dad, then can I just do it until I need glasses?
FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)And need to stock up on formula and diapers, even though my on again/off again girlfriend is post menopausal.
Hoppy
(3,595 posts)Dad, pointing at the window: "Son, if you keep doing that, you're gonna go blind."
Me: "Dad, I'm over here."
romanic
(2,841 posts)[IMG][/IMG]
FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)Art_from_Ark
(27,247 posts)in the first Alien movie.
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)That will be entertaining.
<iframe width="640" height="390" src="
oldandhappy
(6,719 posts)Those who feel they got the right to make the rules, do end up in funny places. Look out, sir.
WillyT
(72,631 posts)Response to FrodosPet (Original post)
Name removed Message auto-removed
Elwood P Dowd
(11,443 posts)and should be outlawed.
FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)And I refuse to give up my right to bare arms.
I just don't like long sleeved shirts.
donco
(1,548 posts)say is that they better not have an abortion or triplets.
BlueStater
(7,596 posts)Or will they be, like, hand creatures?
FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)Elwood P Dowd
(11,443 posts)Close your eyes and imagine Mitch McConnell and Ann Coulter making love.
3catwoman3
(23,946 posts)- whether it were with each other or either of them with anyone else.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)olddots
(10,237 posts)Tierra_y_Libertad
(50,414 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)cannot be transformed into clean energy. The oil companies would be out of business overnight, we'd have enough for 100,000 years and a working warp drive would exist before next Festivus. Homo "sapiens" my shiny metal ass.
trumad
(41,692 posts)Duggar one, Duggar two.
Bosonic
(3,746 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Raine1967
(11,589 posts)This is really shitty satire at that.
Bosonic
(3,746 posts)Raine1967
(11,589 posts)upside down, inside out backwards and forwards
Jester Messiah
(4,711 posts)I'm uh... asking for a friend.
Blue Owl
(50,257 posts)kcdoug1
(222 posts)that explains a couple of things...
notadmblnd
(23,720 posts)I always wondered about that.