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Hissyspit

(45,788 posts)
Fri May 11, 2012, 03:49 PM May 2012

The Top 8 Ways To Be 'Traditionally Married' According To The Bible

May 11 2012

The Top 8 Ways To Be 'Traditionally Married' According To The Bible

I don't think "traditional marriage" means what you think it means.

Adam Mordecai

[p]

29 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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The Top 8 Ways To Be 'Traditionally Married' According To The Bible (Original Post) Hissyspit May 2012 OP
how about earlier in the bible Fresh_Start May 2012 #1
Adam was DIRT. JoePhilly May 2012 #4
Rib, a cheaper cut... awoke_in_2003 May 2012 #12
You mean you are allowed to marry skeleton people? smirkymonkey May 2012 #2
Well, Nicole Ritchie and Teri Hatcher Fawke Em May 2012 #5
Love the skeleton hubby! get the red out May 2012 #8
Not if the skeleton... awoke_in_2003 May 2012 #13
How would they be able to tell? smirkymonkey May 2012 #24
check for a missing rib... awoke_in_2003 May 2012 #25
Hallmark could make a FORTUNE on Wedding cards!!!!! JoePhilly May 2012 #3
Hallmark cards generally rhyme Proud Public Servant May 2012 #7
Very good. There's a future for you at Hallmark . . . Journeyman May 2012 #9
See ... And people think this country is collapsing!!! JoePhilly May 2012 #10
Hahahaha! Excellent! nt babylonsister May 2012 #21
LOL! Excellent. yardwork May 2012 #22
Or LeftishBrit May 2012 #23
Very nice. Reminds me of Betty Bowers (America's Best Christian) progressoid May 2012 #6
Never seen Betty before - that is great Smilo May 2012 #14
She has a web site: http://bettybowers.com/ AnotherDreamWeaver May 2012 #20
I know nothing of marriage definitions in the bible jp11 May 2012 #11
Well... progressoid May 2012 #19
Those are the ones that made the 'Top 10 List'. Scruffy Rumbler Apr 2014 #28
K&R n/t Tx4obama May 2012 #15
After the ruckus I caused on Facebook when I thanked the President Bolo Boffin May 2012 #16
I've love to get an amendment out.... musical_soul May 2012 #17
Those against the 13th ammendment were for Traditional race relations. Thor_MN May 2012 #18
very misleading mikeschmed Mar 2013 #26
"Traditional" Hissyspit Mar 2013 #27
So which one do you like best? n t Scruffy Rumbler Apr 2014 #29

Fresh_Start

(11,330 posts)
1. how about earlier in the bible
Fri May 11, 2012, 03:59 PM
May 2012

Adam and Eve - man and his rib
their children - brother and sister
sister and half-brother Sarah and Abraham
uncle and niece
first cousins all the time

JoePhilly

(27,787 posts)
4. Adam was DIRT.
Fri May 11, 2012, 04:08 PM
May 2012

No really ... he was made out of dirt ...

Genesis 2-7 the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Fawke Em

(11,366 posts)
5. Well, Nicole Ritchie and Teri Hatcher
Fri May 11, 2012, 04:09 PM
May 2012

and Kate Moss were all married at one time.

I'm guessing marrying skeleton people is legal.

get the red out

(13,461 posts)
8. Love the skeleton hubby!
Fri May 11, 2012, 04:23 PM
May 2012

Though I've always preferred a little meat on a man's bones myself. the skeleton guy really cracked me up

JoePhilly

(27,787 posts)
3. Hallmark could make a FORTUNE on Wedding cards!!!!!
Fri May 11, 2012, 04:05 PM
May 2012

For example ...

We know that losing your husband was hard. But praise be to God, for giving you your husband's brother, a man who's genetic material is actually quite similar to that of your husband.

And so Congratulations to you, your brother-in-law / new husband, with our hope that the children you conceive look at least a little like your husband ... the dead one.


There is money to be made here.

Proud Public Servant

(2,097 posts)
7. Hallmark cards generally rhyme
Fri May 11, 2012, 04:22 PM
May 2012

I'm sure that it was quite a blow
When hubby passed away,
Without a child or two, you know,
To help you grieve that day.

How lucky, then, that our Good Book
Has just the thing for you:
Another man for whom you'll cook
And clean and sew and screw.

I know that you still miss your beau;
That's why you need another.
And lucky you -- what do you know! --
This next one is his brother!

Congrats on you forced engagement!

LeftishBrit

(41,205 posts)
23. Or
Sun May 13, 2012, 09:27 AM
May 2012

We wish you happy wedding bliss
With you new lovely wife
And the new oxen, kine and sheep
She's adding to your life.

Although your other seven wives
May feel a little jealous,
It proves their man's a richer bloke
Than all the other fellows.

jp11

(2,104 posts)
11. I know nothing of marriage definitions in the bible
Fri May 11, 2012, 04:36 PM
May 2012

but I suspect some or perhaps many of the examples are not definitions in any way just stories or ways to present rules which are not always related to marriage.

The simple point is why is the government (separation of church and state) backing what some churches/religious organizations dictate a marriage is while still other churches/religious organizations are being denied the ability to have marriage as they see fit.

The simple thing is some churches would perform services for same sex couples, why is the government in the business of saying they are not legal but opposite sex marriages are?

progressoid

(49,979 posts)
19. Well...
Fri May 11, 2012, 06:12 PM
May 2012

Most are actual commandments, not the 10 commandments but there are hundreds of other commandments in the Bible too. Lots of weird stuff in the Old Testament.

Scruffy Rumbler

(961 posts)
28. Those are the ones that made the 'Top 10 List'.
Wed Apr 23, 2014, 08:50 AM
Apr 2014

I wonder if Dave Letterman and and the Old Testament share some of the same writers?

Bolo Boffin

(23,796 posts)
16. After the ruckus I caused on Facebook when I thanked the President
Fri May 11, 2012, 05:32 PM
May 2012

for his marriage equality endorsement, this is going to be my next share on the subject.

An older lady from my childhood church commented on my post that it made her sick!!! And then it was all Bible all the time, with her two daughters jumping in as well (and a couple of my friends and a cousin supporting me). Now the older woman is posting stuff about Biblical marriage and all that. I'm going to give it a few days because I'm not going to change any minds and I don't really see Facebook as a place to get all political all the time. That's what Twitter is for!

But I will be posting this soon.

 

Thor_MN

(11,843 posts)
18. Those against the 13th ammendment were for Traditional race relations.
Fri May 11, 2012, 05:42 PM
May 2012

Those against the 19th were for for Traditional gender roles.

Those for Traditional marriage are just as wrong

mikeschmed

(1 post)
26. very misleading
Fri Mar 29, 2013, 10:05 AM
Mar 2013

This is clever, very misleading/inaccurate. And people who actually understand the Bible see through this.

Few of the situations above were instructed by the bible -- its just how people lived then. Its like saying that because there is robbery in Canada, Canadians support robbery.

Man + Woman -- needs no explanation.

Man + Brother's widow -- Women received no inheritance in these times. Women were absolute property in society. A widow would be destitute. Marriage actually had a contract and it ensured the care and provision for the woman. This was a loving provision to a helpless widow and her children. It is unclear whether sexual relations were assumed. With this exception -- the Bible never tells a man to take more than one wife and never tells him to take a concubine.

Man + Wife + Concubines -- notice that there is no Bible references there, because this was a practice, but not one supported by scriptural law. Inaccurate.

Rapist and his victim -- admittedly, this is troubling to read. But the victim in that society would have been shunned by everyone, including her family and would be unworthy of future marriage. So the rapist would be required to marry for life -- and the rapist would be financially responsible for the woman for the rest of her life. Perhaps this would make someone think twice, because the marriage contract would be in place, but lets face it -- rape is never made okay in any sense. This was seen as a provision to the victim.

Man + Woman + Property... this is not a command about marriage. This was an isolated situation in one family and dont know what the women were thinking regarding relations to Abram. In fact much of history turns on this mistake! its not like a woman's slaves were fair game to men under the Law. The text of the graphic makes no sense.

Male Soldier + Prisoner of war -- once again, very hard to understand how God was working with primitive man. But there is the theme through the Old Testament that foreign women used their attractiveness to encourage men to follow their native customs. It was almost the downfall of Solomon. And here, the command was to kill everyone, but save the virgin women -- as slaves, or the typical spoils of war. I read nothing about these virgins being anything other than collected. Of course, the other option is that they would have been killed like the men/boys. Again, the few times in early man where God order annihilation, I can't explain. Was it like Hiroshima? We wiped out man woman and child and the war ended. we thought it justifiable. Did God think it was justifiable -- because even without internet or newspapers -- word would have traveled and no one would have wanted to mess with the hebrews... I can't explain it. Regarding the Deuteronomy reference -- its an odd one, but it does NOT say that wives must submit sexually to their new owners. It says that the soldier can capture a woman and make her his wife... The text is inaccurate.

Man + Woman + Woman... No Bible command...but people did it. misleading.

Male Slave and Female slave... Slavery was a way of life back then -- regarding occupation of armies, people in debt and selling themselves into slavery, etc. But in the Bible -- the slave became free in the 8th year. It was the year of jubilee. So the question of this passage is not of command as this suggests. It is that if a slave owner gives a slave a wife (did not say that he or she did not ask for that situation) what happens when the man is free at jubilee? Can he leave with is wife and kids? Nope, they need to hang around until their jubilee. text is very inaccurate.

Please give the infographic a rest. Do we have to lie to make our point?

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