Thu Jun 4, 2015, 01:14 PM

You know what ALSO takes courage?

Growing up female, and then BEING a 65 year old woman. Without benefit of family, fame or fortune.

eom

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82 replies	Author	Time	Post
You know what ALSO takes courage? (Original post)	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	OP
Amen	shenmue	Jun 2015	#1
...	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#54
Yes.	Jackpine Radical	Jun 2015	#2
I'm not sure this is the best place for this comment.	F4lconF16	Jun 2015	#6
Why don't you give that speech to the names of the, overwhelmingly, men at the war memorials we	jtuck004	Jun 2015	#13
That would not be an appropriate time and place.	F4lconF16	Jun 2015	#19
I certainly took your "volcano" post in the way it was intended.	Jackpine Radical	Jun 2015	#37
Hi Pine! I was at work and horrors forgot my phone....couldn't check in on the thread till now.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#40
Of course you're right in all the points you make.	Jackpine Radical	Jun 2015	#50
Awwww, thanks, man!!	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#51
Yes indeed.	brer cat	Jun 2015	#75
awwwww......gee,	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#79
Unfortunately, our cannon fodder young men were sent to war	No Vested Interest	Jun 2015	#25
Why limit it to the last half-century?	ChristianGrey	Jun 2015	#29
"Unrelenting oppression that women face in our society?"	TexasMommaWithAHat	Jun 2015	#30
Unrelenting doesn't have to mean noticeable, even.	F4lconF16	Jun 2015	#32
Good	TexasMommaWithAHat	Jun 2015	#34
I don't know how to reply to a sub-thread that dropped into the negative. I agree with you/Blanche.	erronis	Jun 2015	#17
You're not alone there JR...	N_E_1 for Tennis	Jun 2015	#18
The same holds true for many of us.	In_The_Wind	Jun 2015	#3
Absolutely.	jwirr	Jun 2015	#4
you raised yourself?	snooper2	Jun 2015	#5
where does OP suggest she raised herself?	magical thyme	Jun 2015	#11
No kidding. Old women are especially worthless in the US	Warpy	Jun 2015	#7
Absolutely agree.	hamsterjill	Jun 2015	#24
saddens me too.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#80
This is the point I was trying to make..that life for older women is nothing like the glittery cover	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#41
Well, there is one up side to it all	Warpy	Jun 2015	#43
True. I don't fear groups of males coming toward me as much as before.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#48
Absolutely !!	abakan	Jun 2015	#8
I'm 57, but Caitlyn Jenner is 65.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#42
So true!	JDPriestly	Jun 2015	#9
Yep.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#44
Results of Jury	zeemike	Jun 2015	#59
I got alerted on for distinguishing between trans women and xx chromosome women?	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#60
There are egg shells all over the floor.	zeemike	Jun 2015	#61
heh heh!	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#63
Generally things like woman-born or female identified have been used against transwomen	LostOne4Ever	Jun 2015	#65
Thanks! Thst helps.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#67
Trans means moving across or through	LostOne4Ever	Jun 2015	#69
Ohhhh....wow, interesting.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#71
Sometimes informing helps more than sending an alert	LostOne4Ever	Jun 2015	#72
That's my feeling, exactly.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#73
I hear ya! Born in November 1949.	WinkyDink	Jun 2015	#10
ditto	annabanana	Jun 2015	#15
Smile lines are the only thing that counts in the end. (nt)	Jackpine Radical	Jun 2015	#38
{{annabanana}}	WinkyDink	Jun 2015	#56
yes. nt	magical thyme	Jun 2015	#12
Old age ain't for sissies. Bette Davis	Tierra_y_Libertad	Jun 2015	#14
...	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#55
Never forget that age and treachery will overcome youth and skill every time. nt	Zorra	Jun 2015	#16
LoL!	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#45
Hear, hear! eom	eissa	Jun 2015	#20
Thank you for posting this.	Tipperary	Jun 2015	#21
My 60-something wife has no kids	Plucketeer	Jun 2015	#22
My wife is older than me but has made me promise to "let her go first".	Tierra_y_Libertad	Jun 2015	#26
LOL!	Plucketeer	Jun 2015	#33
OTOH. If my wife goes first I'm heading for bankruptcy.	Tierra_y_Libertad	Jun 2015	#39
K&R times a bazillion.	CharlotteVale	Jun 2015	#23
Wish I knew what thread you were talking about	randys1	Jun 2015	#27
I'm talking about the sparkling champaign reception given the birth of Caitlyn Jenner, at 65.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#46
For you, Blanche.	sheshe2	Jun 2015	#28
Thanks, she...	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#49
The Cloak of Comedy	seveneyes	Jun 2015	#31
That's funny, I was just thinking about that last night	Blue_In_AK	Jun 2015	#35
Well there are different kinds of courage.	Kalidurga	Jun 2015	#36
Yes, it is a huge step she's taking, and it's courageous.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#58
That is very true.	Kalidurga	Jun 2015	#74
7.3 billion humans and we get lonelier everyday	olddots	Jun 2015	#47
I hear ya, Blanche, and completely agree.	mountain grammy	Jun 2015	#52
It's a behind the scenes kind of courage	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#53
Yes, no awards for the silent, everyday courage it takes to just keep on going	mountain grammy	Jun 2015	#78
Harry got it right. Just ask my wife.	JEB	Jun 2015	#57
i'm not sure why you feel the need to "other" caitlyn jenner	fizzgig	Jun 2015	#62
Hi fizzgig, I hope I can explain....	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#66
i appreciate your response	fizzgig	Jun 2015	#77
Hating on trans women thread...	Jesus Malverde	Jun 2015	#64
No. You completely misinterpret my intent.	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#70
Being a 65 years old woman without the benefit of family, fame, or fortune take courage period	LostOne4Ever	Jun 2015	#68
Courage - The Definition Of Living In America Today	cantbeserious	Jun 2015	#76
How did I miss this lovely thread?	malaise	Jun 2015	#81
I'm sorry you did...	BlancheSplanchnik	Jun 2015	#82

Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 01:17 PM

shenmue (37,922 posts)

1. Amen

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Response to shenmue (Reply #1)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 09:56 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

54. ...

Thanks...

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 01:20 PM

Jackpine Radical (45,274 posts)

2. Yes.

The same is true of men, Blanche. In fact, we die years earlier when there is no partner in our life, while women show no drop in life expectancy in the parallel situation.

Personally, I don't know what I would do if I lost my wife. I selfishly hope I go first.

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Response to Jackpine Radical (Reply #2)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 01:48 PM

F4lconF16 (3,747 posts)

6. I'm not sure this is the best place for this comment.

I don't disagree that to be a man causes gender-specific hardships in our lives, such as having shorter-life expectancies.

But comparing that to the systemic and unrelenting oppression that women face in our society and culture in a thread about the challenge it is to grow up as a woman without support isn't right. It hijacks the thread and makes the oppression of men and women appear equal, even if that was not the intent (which I don't believe it was).

Without knowing how the OP feels, or attempting to speak in her place, I would suggest moving this comment elsewhere, perhaps to a new thread. It is reminiscent of the constant attacks on DU, in the online world, and in the real world to detract from women's issues and problems. A short comment or two expressing sympathy with or perhaps even a longer paragraph or two on what we could do to address these systemic biases against women would be more appropriate.

And I hope you and your wife die simultaneously in a huge volcanic eruption while living out your last days in a gorgeous Hawaiian beach house. That'll solve the problem

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Response to F4lconF16 (Reply #6)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:31 PM

jtuck004 (15,882 posts)

13. Why don't you give that speech to the names of the, overwhelmingly, men at the war memorials we

put up to glorify our cannon fodder.

I think such an attitude is what keeps us at odds and holds us back.

This is a perfect place for the comment you write about, Yours, however, suggesting that you would be happier with both of the people you wrote to dying violently, belongs in the trash. Which is where any future comments from you directed at me will be, though I suspect you'll respond anyway.

Like the world isn't mean enough already. Bye.

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Response to jtuck004 (Reply #13)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:25 PM

F4lconF16 (3,747 posts)

19. That would not be an appropriate time and place.

On the other hand, that would be an excellent space to discuss the shitty things we do to men in our culture, and in a respectful manner.

Yours, however, suggesting that you would be happier with both of the people you wrote to dying violently, belongs in the trash.

That was meant in a genuinely nice manner. Perhaps this forum is not the best place for dark humor. I've heard my parents joke about something like that happening, and how it would be easier for them both.

And yes, I responded anyways. Hopefully this clarifies things for others.

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Response to F4lconF16 (Reply #19)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 05:30 PM

Jackpine Radical (45,274 posts)

37. I certainly took your "volcano" post in the way it was intended.

I have something of a (very positive) history with Blanche on this board, and if she communicates to me that I have in any way offended, disrespected, or belittled her, I will offer her my sincere apologies.

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Response to Jackpine Radical (Reply #37)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:10 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

40. Hi Pine! I was at work and horrors forgot my phone....couldn't check in on the thread till now.

I'm not in a big talkin kinda mood...feeling down today....

I've seen the articles you mention, about men having a harder time with separation than women.

I can't compare such subjective experiences, I just know I've grieved some ferociously painful losses.

But---I guess maybe having only had "relationships" with a long series of real big mistakes over my life, I should be glad I don't have to worry about losing someone I love... (did I mention I'm feeling really down today? :p).

Anyway, aside from individual heartbreak, I do think the systemic oppression of women makes our later years more difficult, compared to what men can expect.

Just one example that comes to mind, from an article I saw (sorry, don't remember who published it)---women have a longer lifespan, generally. But our health and quality of life is worse. Financially, we tend to be worse off. And alone.

We become invisible due to age shunning much sooner than men do. We are judged by our looks to an extent men can probably never truly understand, and the first requirement is youth. Our "shelf life" ends around our 40's. If you haven't experienced invisibility, it's hard to explain what it feels like.

don't know what else to say. I just ran out of words.....

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #40)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 07:29 PM

Jackpine Radical (45,274 posts)

50. Of course you're right in all the points you make.

And it's really tough to be down.

PM me if you need an ear.

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Response to Jackpine Radical (Reply #50)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 08:39 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

51. Awwww, thanks, man!!

I should go chant. Raise my life condition.

Oh, that takes effort! *gasp*

Or, I could continue to vegetate and feel pathetic! Grab a gallon of ice cream while I'm at it. Maybe drive around till I find a place with deep fried twinkies....

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #40)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 06:07 AM

brer cat (14,160 posts)

75. Yes indeed.

Sorry you are feeling down, BlancheSplanchnik.

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Response to brer cat (Reply #75)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 09:40 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

79. awwwww......gee,

Thanks brer cat.

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Response to jtuck004 (Reply #13)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:52 PM

No Vested Interest (4,582 posts)

25. Unfortunately, our cannon fodder young men were sent to war

in recent years, by their Daddies and granddaddies.
Moms and grandmoms seldom advocate for the chest-thumping wars our nation has engaged in in the last half-century.

This is meant as a comment, not an argument.

And, yes, I agree with OP that aging of both men and women without family is tough.

I'm widowed, and can't imagine how much harder and emptier life would be without my adult children looking in, helping out now and again. Though I want to stay in my home as long as possible, I think if I had no family I would seek a community for older adults, as they do usually look out for one another.

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Response to No Vested Interest (Reply #25)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:04 PM

ChristianGrey (39 posts)

29. Why limit it to the last half-century?

During the two World Wars, which is what we were discussing, the women were doing just as much chest-thumping as the men. In England for example, the women were involved in the White Feather campaign, which attempted to shame men for the cowardice for refusing to fight.

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Response to F4lconF16 (Reply #6)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:05 PM

TexasMommaWithAHat (3,212 posts)

30. "Unrelenting oppression that women face in our society?"

Unrelenting oppression?

Only someone in the first world could write that in all seriousness.

We still have a ways to go, but have some perspective, please! Otherwise, you're going to drop dead from anxiety and anger long before you should.

Peace.

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Response to TexasMommaWithAHat (Reply #30)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:08 PM

F4lconF16 (3,747 posts)

32. Unrelenting doesn't have to mean noticeable, even.

Unrelenting just means it never stops, never gives up. It's always there.

And there's not enough anger in this heart to fill a teaspoon, today. Anger is good and desirable at times, but today? Today is sunny and there's a candle nearby and it smells good. Too much anger for today

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Response to F4lconF16 (Reply #32)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:12 PM

TexasMommaWithAHat (3,212 posts)

34. Good

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Response to Jackpine Radical (Reply #2)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:06 PM

erronis (9,216 posts)

17. I don't know how to reply to a sub-thread that dropped into the negative. I agree with you/Blanche.

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Response to Jackpine Radical (Reply #2)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:22 PM

N_E_1 for Tennis (5,174 posts)

18. You're not alone there JR...

Been married for 41 years, known Mrs. since I was 16, 63 now.
I'd be lost in a fog of course she knows this and concurs.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 01:29 PM

In_The_Wind (71,838 posts)

3. The same holds true for many of us.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 01:35 PM

jwirr (39,215 posts)

4. Absolutely.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 01:36 PM

snooper2 (30,151 posts)

5. you raised yourself?

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Response to snooper2 (Reply #5)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:29 PM

magical thyme (14,881 posts)

11. where does OP suggest she raised herself?

By the time you're 65, often parents are gone.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:20 PM

Warpy (99,245 posts)

7. No kidding. Old women are especially worthless in the US

and even old white males are undervalued. We all have great stories that nobody wants to hear, they're all tuned in to some chicken brained Kardashian.

It's not a healthy culture to be old in, especially if you're a female.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #7)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:50 PM

hamsterjill (11,212 posts)

24. Absolutely agree.

I even see this on DU at times. It saddens me a great deal.

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Response to hamsterjill (Reply #24)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 09:47 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

80. saddens me too.

It's so normalized, this general attitude that women are worth attention only if they're young and hot....or trans or drag queens....

So normalized that it's hard to disentangle enough to explain. And only women who never experienced the benefits of male privilege know the cumulative results.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #7)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:24 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

41. This is the point I was trying to make..that life for older women is nothing like the glittery cover

With makeover and starlet clothes provided for the newly born Ms. Jenner.

Life for xx women is a little different as we age. And an xx woman of 65 who "dared" to present herself as a bombshell would be greeted with a very cruel reception.

sigh...I don't have a whole lot more to say right now....feeling low today, and forgot to bring phone with me today, so couldn't reply earlier from work.

Thanks for getting what I was referring to, Warpy.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #41)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:34 PM

Warpy (99,245 posts)

43. Well, there is one up side to it all

That invisibility cloak we got issued in our 50s? It stopped the catcalling dead.

You've got to admit it's refreshing to be able to walk someplace without some wanker yelling trash at you.

It's also nice to thumb our noses at the fertility aisle in the supermarket. If we can afford to shop.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #43)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:51 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

48. True. I don't fear groups of males coming toward me as much as before.

And true, I don't mind not buying tampoons and medicine for cramps..... Did spend a good deal on perimenopause medicines, though. That was 10 years of joy. Thankfully, that's mostly died down.

But still, I don't like the glorification that xx chrom women are barred from.
Trans MEN don't get much attention either, seems to me.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:24 PM

abakan (1,449 posts)

8. Absolutely !!

Not quite 65 yet but I too have no family, fame or fortune. I will shed no tears for those who do.

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Response to abakan (Reply #8)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:32 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

42. I'm 57, but Caitlyn Jenner is 65.

Hmmm...a 65 year old woman would be unlikely to be named Caitlyn. That's a name from a different generation.

But I digress.

I too have no family. Got a few kind friends.

Due to a badly dysfunctional history, I've only had a series of real big mistakes in the love-life department. Working hard on recovering and developing better life skills, but not feeling too hopeful about finding a Good Love at this stage, either. (I hope I'm proven wrong.)

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:25 PM

JDPriestly (57,936 posts)

9. So true!

And you can't get that old when-I-was-young, last-resort job as a waitress because you are "too old." Absolutely right!

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Response to JDPriestly (Reply #9)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:35 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

44. Yep.

I don't think any xx chromosome women would be glamorized and glorified at Ms. Jenner's age.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #44)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 11:37 PM

zeemike (18,998 posts)

59. Results of Jury

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

xx chromosome woman? jenner identifies as female and that should be the end of it. i empathize with the op and am watching my 64 y/o mom struggle with this, but this is transphobic.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Thu Jun 4, 2015, 10:33 PM, and the Jury voted 3-4 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: The opinion expressed is swimming against the current that flows through here. That alone does not meet the TOS standard. I do not detect an intention to be hurtful, over-the-top, etc. One can argue persuasively that we could stand a few more contrary opinions here. They are an uncomfortable protection against groupthink.
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Take a break.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Referencing biology is not transphobic...it's science.

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Response to zeemike (Reply #59)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 11:52 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

60. I got alerted on for distinguishing between trans women and xx chromosome women?

Geez.

I know the current term is cis woman or cis man, but since I'm not certain of the proper usage, I figured I better use biology.

Yeesh....sometimes it's hard to just make a frikkin point around here.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #60)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 11:56 PM

zeemike (18,998 posts)

61. There are egg shells all over the floor.

And some of them you can't see coming.

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Response to zeemike (Reply #61)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:32 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

63. heh heh!

Well...I can only hope they're cruelty free eggs.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #60)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:53 AM

LostOne4Ever (8,652 posts)

65. Generally things like woman-born or female identified have been used against transwomen

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]They give the impression that transwomen are not "real women" and your xx chromosome women might have come off that way as well.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/feminist-phrases-marginalize-trans-women/

Further, there is an intersex condition where a person is born and raised female, but have an XY chromosome called Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complete_androgen_insensitivity_syndrome

Cis is preferred because it breaks the idea that cisgender individuals are the "normal" and trans are in someway "abnormal."[/font]

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Response to LostOne4Ever (Reply #65)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:56 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

67. Thanks! Thst helps.

Where does CIS come from? what's the etymology? That would help to clarify for me.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #67)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:59 AM

LostOne4Ever (8,652 posts)

69. Trans means moving across or through

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]Cis meaning moving along side.

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=trans-

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=cis-&searchmode=none

Transgender-moving across genders/sexes
Cisgender-moving alongside gender/sex[/font]

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Response to LostOne4Ever (Reply #69)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 01:04 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

71. Ohhhh....wow, interesting.

I may use both approaches for a while, until the term CIS is more widely known.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #71)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 01:06 AM

LostOne4Ever (8,652 posts)

72. Sometimes informing helps more than sending an alert

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]Take care[/font]

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Response to LostOne4Ever (Reply #72)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 01:13 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

73. That's my feeling, exactly.

absolutely.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:27 PM

WinkyDink (51,311 posts)

10. I hear ya! Born in November 1949.

Widowed last year; taking care of very infirm mother in my house literally since that month. No siblings.

I sure don't look as swell as Caitlyn Jenner!

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Response to WinkyDink (Reply #10)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:43 PM

annabanana (52,791 posts)

15. ditto

b. 11/25/49
widowed last year

My Mother, thank heavens, is in pretty good shape at 89 and lives in assisted living near my kid sister....

I have BETTER smile lines than Caitlyn!

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Response to annabanana (Reply #15)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 05:33 PM

Jackpine Radical (45,274 posts)

38. Smile lines are the only thing that counts in the end. (nt)

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Response to annabanana (Reply #15)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 10:34 PM

WinkyDink (51,311 posts)

56. {{annabanana}}

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:30 PM

magical thyme (14,881 posts)

12. yes. nt

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:33 PM

Tierra_y_Libertad (50,414 posts)

14. Old age ain't for sissies. Bette Davis

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Response to Tierra_y_Libertad (Reply #14)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 09:57 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

55. ...

Heh...

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 02:50 PM

Zorra (27,670 posts)

16. Never forget that age and treachery will overcome youth and skill every time. nt

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Response to Zorra (Reply #16)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:36 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

45. LoL!

Age before beauty?

Pearls before swine!!

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:25 PM

eissa (4,003 posts)

20. Hear, hear! eom

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:27 PM

Tipperary (6,930 posts)

21. Thank you for posting this.

Very well said.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:35 PM

Plucketeer (12,882 posts)

22. My 60-something wife has no kids

I do, but they barely know my wife since we're so far apart on the continent. I'm a decade older than she and yet I do most of the things around here to keep our home / property up and going. She's gonna be totally lost if I go first.

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Response to Plucketeer (Reply #22)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:53 PM

Tierra_y_Libertad (50,414 posts)

26. My wife is older than me but has made me promise to "let her go first".

I refused, but she replied, "How in the hell am I supposed to figure out the goddamned remote?"

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Response to Tierra_y_Libertad (Reply #26)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:11 PM

Plucketeer (12,882 posts)

33. LOL!

Yeah, my poor wife is SO spatially challenged. She'd really have a tough time on her own.

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Response to Plucketeer (Reply #33)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 05:41 PM

Tierra_y_Libertad (50,414 posts)

39. OTOH. If my wife goes first I'm heading for bankruptcy.

I've never been able to balance a checkbook or pay bills on time.

Works for us.

Monday was our 35th anniversary.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:36 PM

CharlotteVale (2,717 posts)

23. K&R times a bazillion.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 03:56 PM

randys1 (16,286 posts)

27. Wish I knew what thread you were talking about

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Response to randys1 (Reply #27)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:43 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

46. I'm talking about the sparkling champaign reception given the birth of Caitlyn Jenner, at 65.

xx chromosome women, particularly non-famous, male Olympians, do not receive such fèting and glamour at that age.

In fact, now I think of it, xx chromosome women who ARE rich, famous, female Olympians don't get glamourized and fèted at 65.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:01 PM

sheshe2 (69,899 posts)

28. For you, Blanche.

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Response to sheshe2 (Reply #28)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:52 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

49. Thanks, she...

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:05 PM

seveneyes (4,631 posts)

31. The Cloak of Comedy

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:20 PM

Blue_In_AK (46,436 posts)

35. That's funny, I was just thinking about that last night

as I was laying in bed contemplating the fact that my last child (who is almost 30) plans to move out of Alaska in the fall, leaving me and my husband here alone. He is almost 68, I am almost 69. If he dies before me (which he's convinced he will), I will be all alone here. I have absolutely NO plans to leave Alaska or even move from this house, but I wonder what I'll do if I'm 80 and living alone. It does give one pause.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 04:52 PM

Kalidurga (14,177 posts)

36. Well there are different kinds of courage.

And in the circle that Caitlyn is in varying from the white hetro norm is almost taboo. Yes, having money makes everything easier even breaking taboos. But, it still takes a lot to go against cultural norms especially if you are in the class that promotes those norms. And she's a Republican according to one interview. I can't imagine how she is going to stay a Republican there will be a lot of snark directed toward her and going on behind her back, she will be aware of a lot of it.

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #36)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 11:14 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

58. Yes, it is a huge step she's taking, and it's courageous.

The thing that I'm displeased about is the media hypocrisy. No older woman-from-birth is ever treated so rapturously. Usually, if older women try to present themselves as sexy, they get treated to a hostile backlash based in disgust.

I'm not criticizing Caitlyn Jenner's transition. I'm accusing the media and general public of holding different standards and deep attitudes towards older women.
The glamorous focus on Ms Jenner would never be given to an xx chromosome woman.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #58)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 01:58 AM

Kalidurga (14,177 posts)

74. That is very true.

But, this is actually the society we live in. The hypocrisy runs deep and it's generations long. It will take a long long time to ween people off of being so judgy toward each other over things that are immutable like ageing and ethnic heritage. Perhaps Caitlyn will help on this front too whether she likes it or not. She is going to find out in a hurry how people really feel about women especially older women.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 06:48 PM

olddots (10,237 posts)

47. 7.3 billion humans and we get lonelier everyday

I hear you , we seem to have problem thats getting worse and it makes no sence .

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 09:03 PM

mountain grammy (22,510 posts)

52. I hear ya, Blanche, and completely agree.

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Response to mountain grammy (Reply #52)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 09:55 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

53. It's a behind the scenes kind of courage

Not the kind that gets recognition.

I suppose that's what self-respect is for.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #53)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 08:30 AM

mountain grammy (22,510 posts)

78. Yes, no awards for the silent, everyday courage it takes to just keep on going

despite what ever life throws at you.
I sincerely hope you have a better day today.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2015, 10:49 PM

JEB (4,748 posts)

57. Harry got it right. Just ask my wife.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:16 AM

fizzgig (24,146 posts)

62. i'm not sure why you feel the need to "other" caitlyn jenner

my mother is 64 and i see all too clearly the challenges she faces, so i am understanding of the issues faced by senior women. but why "other" jenner to bring those issues to light?

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Response to fizzgig (Reply #62)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:54 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

66. Hi fizzgig, I hope I can explain....

I guess it sounds like I'm othering her, though that's not my intent. I'm good with anyone who has the guts to commit to how they experience their Self.

I've mentioned several times upthread that what I'm actually criticizing is the Media Response (and thusly, one of a number of various social group responses.)

I see the response is much more accepting, friendly, admiring, approving of a glamorous, positive image of her, Caitlyn.

Now, what vocabulary can I use to make clear that MY issue is that conventionally mocking responses towards OLDER WOMEN are clearly acceptable...very different than accepting responses toward fabulous trans and drag queens.

Progressive and other trans positive responses aren't extended to women of that age who want to define themselves as fabulously self-accepting.

I'm not sure...am I getting my point across? ....not sure if I'm explaining the difference as I see it. And why I think it's significant.

What can I say? I'm chilling out before bed.....hope I'm making sense!

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #66)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 08:14 AM

fizzgig (24,146 posts)

77. i appreciate your response

i agree that she is the exception to the rule and her background has everything to do with the media attention, but there are older xy women who are viewed as glamorous and positive by the media. i just think the issue can be brought to light without making the distinction.

hope i'm making sense. drank a beer or two more than was wise last night and my brain is a bit fuzzy

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:51 AM

Jesus Malverde (10,274 posts)

64. Hating on trans women thread...

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Response to Jesus Malverde (Reply #64)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 01:02 AM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

70. No. You completely misinterpret my intent.

Last edited Fri Jun 5, 2015, 09:34 AM - Edit history (1)

Unfortunately, it's hard to articulate succinctly. I've tried to explain in a number of posts upthread.

Maybe one of those would give more clarity.... Hope so, anyway.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 12:57 AM

LostOne4Ever (8,652 posts)

68. Being a 65 years old woman without the benefit of family, fame, or fortune take courage period

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]Doesn't matter if they are a cis-woman or a transwoman.[/font]

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 06:43 AM

cantbeserious (13,039 posts)

76. Courage - The Definition Of Living In America Today

eom

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Original post)

Mon Jun 15, 2015, 05:25 AM

malaise (223,803 posts)

81. How did I miss this lovely thread?

K & R

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Response to malaise (Reply #81)

Mon Jun 15, 2015, 05:02 PM

BlancheSplanchnik (19,952 posts)

82. I'm sorry you did...

It would have been nice to share thoughts with you....

Who would have thought the deeper significance to develop later?

Reply to this post

General Discussion (Forum)

You know what ALSO takes courage?

1. Amen

54. ...

2. Yes.

6. I'm not sure this is the best place for this comment.

13. Why don't you give that speech to the names of the, overwhelmingly, men at the war memorials we

19. That would not be an appropriate time and place.

37. I certainly took your "volcano" post in the way it was intended.

40. Hi Pine! I was at work and *horrors* forgot my phone....couldn't check in on the thread till now.

50. Of course you're right in all the points you make.

51. Awwww, thanks, man!!

75. Yes indeed.

79. awwwww......gee,

25. Unfortunately, our cannon fodder young men were sent to war

29. Why limit it to the last half-century?

30. "Unrelenting oppression that women face in our society?"

32. Unrelenting doesn't have to mean noticeable, even.

34. Good

17. I don't know how to reply to a sub-thread that dropped into the negative. I agree with you/Blanche.

18. You're not alone there JR...

3. The same holds true for many of us.

4. Absolutely.

5. you raised yourself?

11. where does OP suggest she raised herself?

7. No kidding. Old women are especially worthless in the US

24. Absolutely agree.

80. saddens me too.

41. This is the point I was trying to make..that life for older women is nothing like the glittery cover

43. Well, there is one up side to it all

48. True. I don't fear groups of males coming toward me as much as before.

8. Absolutely !!

42. I'm 57, but Caitlyn Jenner is 65.

9. So true!

44. Yep.

59. Results of Jury

60. I got alerted on for distinguishing between trans women and xx chromosome women?

61. There are egg shells all over the floor.

63. heh heh!

65. Generally things like woman-born or female identified have been used against transwomen

67. Thanks! Thst helps.

69. Trans means moving across or through

71. Ohhhh....wow, interesting.

72. Sometimes informing helps more than sending an alert

73. That's my feeling, exactly.

10. I hear ya! Born in November 1949.

15. ditto

38. Smile lines are the only thing that counts in the end. (nt)

56. {{annabanana}}

12. yes. nt

14. Old age ain't for sissies. Bette Davis

55. ...

16. Never forget that age and treachery will overcome youth and skill every time. nt

45. LoL!

20. Hear, hear! eom

21. Thank you for posting this.

22. My 60-something wife has no kids

26. My wife is older than me but has made me promise to "let her go first".

33. LOL!

39. OTOH. If my wife goes first I'm heading for bankruptcy.

23. K&R times a bazillion.

27. Wish I knew what thread you were talking about

46. I'm talking about the sparkling champaign reception given the birth of Caitlyn Jenner, at 65.

28. For you, Blanche.

49. Thanks, she...

31. The Cloak of Comedy

35. That's funny, I was just thinking about that last night

36. Well there are different kinds of courage.

58. Yes, it is a huge step she's taking, and it's courageous.

74. That is very true.

47. 7.3 billion humans and we get lonelier everyday

52. I hear ya, Blanche, and completely agree.

53. It's a behind the scenes kind of courage

78. Yes, no awards for the silent, everyday courage it takes to just keep on going

57. Harry got it right. Just ask my wife.

62. i'm not sure why you feel the need to "other" caitlyn jenner

66. Hi fizzgig, I hope I can explain....

77. i appreciate your response

64. Hating on trans women thread...

70. No. You completely misinterpret my intent.

68. Being a 65 years old woman without the benefit of family, fame, or fortune take courage period

40. Hi Pine! I was at work and horrors forgot my phone....couldn't check in on the thread till now.