Goofus and Gallant

[DesertRat]

Anyone remember Highlights magazine? I found this on Facebook.

[Buns_of_Fire]

1. Goofus changes his name to "Willard" and joins the republican party...

(C'mon, you KNOW that's what you were thinking!)

[DesertRat]

2. I always knew that Goofus was a Republican!

[tularetom]

3. Hope I don't get flamed for this

but if I was a kid I'd want to kick the pee wads out of Gallant.

Of course if he gave me enough dimes I might change my mind.

[Nye Bevan]

4. Shame on you.

You wouldn't have participated in Gallant's lessons about the Constitution?

[Buns_of_Fire]

5. I was always conflicted about Gallant.

I knew Goofus was a jerk, so I tried not to be like him.

But I also knew that if I tried to be like Gallant, I'd probably get into more fights than I already did.

So I just drew fangs on both of 'em and left it at that.

[emulatorloo]

6. Good call!

Goofus was clearly an asshole because he was a bully. Gallant was an asshole because he was TOO FUCKING PERFECT.

[tularetom]

7. Thing is you knew what you were getting with an asshole like Goofus

You just had to take your periodic pounding and wait until you either grew big enough that he was afraid of you or fed up enough that you fought back and got him to back off. It was pretty straightforward.

Gallant on the other hand was a sneaky little passive aggressive shit. Sure he might give you a dime and teach you about the Constitution but he would also rat you out to the teacher for burping in the cafeteria or tell your parents if he saw you smoking in the woods. He was gonna narc on you for something so you might as well smack the snot out of him on general principles.

"In our world, you were either a bully, a toady, or one of the nameless rabble of victims!"
-A Christmas Story

[nolabear]

8. Gallant struck me as an Eddie Haskell. And the comic strip way to b/w.

THAT is the problematic part. Don't be a person, just do what you've been trained to do.

[XemaSab]

10. .

http://www.cracked.com/funny-5498-goofus-gallant/

[FirstLight]

11. ...

"sister mary Gallantia"

[Johnny Noshoes]

12. Didn't she ....

Didn't she teach at Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

17. I'll shovel the driveway, Dad....hoping Dad won't notice

the pages of his "Barely Legal" magazine stuck together.

[Sequoia]

9. Sure.

The Highlight of my dentist visits.

[Chorophyll]

14. I see what you did there.

[mac56]

13. Amazing. I just posted this on my blog two days ago.

http://namebrandketchup.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/goofus-and-gallant-i-must-embrace-my-inner-goofus/

[DesertRat]

15. Great blog post!

[villager]

16. Gallant, in turn, needs to be reminded about the 4th Amendment!