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[polly7]

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This message was self-deleted by its author (polly7) on Wed Jun 10, 2015, 12:33 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[Liberal_in_LA]

1. I am so sorry for.your loss. and sorry that DU is causing u pain

[malaise]

2. What a beautiful little boy

This place can be so cruel

[Fumesucker]

3. I'm so sorry...

[onecaliberal]

4. :

[bigwillq]

5. I am sorry for your loss.

But I do think you're taking this place way too seriously.

[polly7]

11. No ....... not at all.

I never asked for any of it, and was flagged for review until now. It's the first time I have ever been actually hurt online - very, very badly, and I will reply to it.

[TDale313]

21. That seems to always be the response to online nastiness/bullying/harassment

Grow a thicker skin/don't take it so seriously. Good for Polly for standing up for herself and calling what was clearly hurtful behavior/comments to her out. Just cause people being cruel online is common doesn't mean it's ok.

[bigwillq]

26. People are different.

Polly can feel whatever way Polly wants. I don't take things said by anoyomous posters on a message board very seriously. I could never let it bother me.

[TDale313]

35. Mostly I'd agree

But sometimes this stuff crosses a line- and everyone's line is different.

[AtomicKitten]

6. Your loss is heartbreaking.

I am so sorry for the pain inflicted here. You deserve better.

I will hug my son a little tighter today.

[OnyxCollie]

7. That's why he's on Fox News.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[heaven05]

82. fox news huh?

downright cruel person and deserves all the bad karma coming his way......

[markpkessinger]

120. A Fox News "Insider"

http://insider.foxnews.com/tag/steve-leser

[marym625]

8. such a beautiful child

Such a horrendous thing you had to put up with.

I saw it and I cringed. I then saw his post saying how he would never do what he did.

I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son.

[In_The_Wind]

9. I'm so sorry for your loss, Polly. Karley was a handsome young boy.

May he rest in peace.

[TDale313]

10. I'm so sorry, Polly.

About your son and about how you were treated by some here. So easy to forget there's a real human being behind the screen names.

[Bjorn Against]

12. I am so sorry

This place can be cruel sometimes, I almost left last year myself because people were attacking my family. When I see people are still able to get by with this crap it makes me want to leave again, the jury system has been a complete failure.

[LoisB]

13. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. He was a beautiful little boy.

[petronius]

14. I'm very sorry for your loss and pain. There's a lot of character in those pics;

Karley looks like he was a great joy to be around...

[A Little Weird]

15. He sounds like a wonderful little guy

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[LittleBlue]

16. Can't even imagine what that's like for you, Polly

My condolences

[ananda]

17. What a beautiful child inside and out!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have taken the only appropriate action I can think of
and it will have to do.

If I could undo all the cruelty I would.

[hifiguy]

18. OMG, polly. I am horrified.

You are one of my favorite people here, and there was no excuse for that response to you. None.

[malaise]

58. Ditto

[Mojorabbit]

129. Count me as horrified also. nt

[QC]

19. I am so sorry for your loss

and for your treatment here. It was truly vile yet entirely typical.

[Gormy Cuss]

20. The worst thing about internet discussion boards is that it's easy to forget there are real people

behind the screen names, people with a wide variety of life experiences that brought them to the place they are today.

I am sorry that you lost this beautiful child, polly7.

[MH1]

22. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.

It must have been a terrible shock, thinking he was over the chicken pox and then that happened. And I guess now you work in healthcare (EMT/paramedic?) so you have to see these painful situations over and over again. You must be a strong person to keep helping others that way.

There is no excuse for some of the b.s. and bullying that happens online, some of it right here at DU. I think the way you were treated is horrible.

I hope it gets better for you, here and IRL.

[femmocrat]

23. How heart-breaking.

Such a beautiful little boy. I'm so sorry that someone on DU was disrespectful to you and your son, polly. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[BainsBane]

25. Read the links

See what was actually said. Steven did not mock her dead child. It is a terrible loss, no question, but Steve has nothing to do with it.

[AtomicKitten]

29. Why doesn't it surprise me that you are defending the jerk that mocked her mercilessly?

Shame on you. Ugh.

[hifiguy]

36. Character runs true.

But with some more than others.

[AtomicKitten]

45. No kidding.

Some people just can't help but show their ass.

[BainsBane]

46. He did not mock her

that is what I am saying. He simply did not. If you read the links you will see as much. The loss of her child is indeed an awful tragedy, but Steve knew nothing about it. The mocking was by another poster. Steve commented on a name removed poster and Polly sent him PMs. She dared him to post it so he did. That is the story, and the links she provided show as much. She mentioned after the fact that she had lost a child and accused him of mocking it.

There is no defending anyone who mocks a dead child or the mother's loss of child under any circumstances. It is an awful, awful thing. Similarly, to accuse someone of doing an awful thing they did not do is not right.

[polly7]

30. You go take a *ing hike!

Maybe use your sock to explain how all that cruelty wasn't what it seemed. I am SICK of it.

[hifiguy]

33. That's keeping it classy.

Jayzus.

[BainsBane]

37. Do you think it classy to falsely accuse someone of laughing at a dead child?

I do not.

[hifiguy]

40. I have a very good idea of what you consider to be true and false

from another thread.

I will stand with polly.

And I am done with you.

[BainsBane]

54. In the other thread you said I accused you of

belittling the Hobby Lobby case. I said no such thing. I didn't even mention you. I don't even know how you came up with that.

[hifiguy]

65. You said "we were told that"

In your first line. That seems a lot like a general indictment of DUers. I am so tired of your word games.

[BainsBane]

77. I'm providing links

You can read them if you want. Obviously it doesn't mean everyone and certainly not you in particular. Good lord. Assuming it pertained to you is simply absurd.

[polly7]

50. Falsely accuse?

The screenshot is right there!!!! I have only been taking transfers since my Dad's death in 2010, it was a traumatic suicide, and I haven't slept well enough that I feel I can do my best with the ambulance - I go for days without sleeping. But I took a few shifts as a favour as two Paramedics were gone for a week - calling the hospital in Regina on our way home and being told the little 6 y/o hadn't made it felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart. I got home, tried to sleep and couldn't, it was bothering me so much, so I logged on to read and calm down and saw you and my other stalker/haters all having a great time at my expense for some reason- I really have no idea why, as I hadn't even posted. It was all disgusting.

Get your sock to have a look at it, maybe he/she can see better.

[BainsBane]

52. Polly, I'm very sorry for your loss

It was a terrible trauma. I can't imagine enduring such an ordeal.

[marym625]

119. There is absolutely zero excuse for the obvious mocking reply directly to you

When you posted about your son. The absolute gall of anyone to excuse such bullshit is beyond me. The hypocrisy coming from some who have condemned others for a word

My deepest, most sincere apologies that you are, yet again, having to endure such total lack of feeling. No honor.

Please know that this does not represent the majority of the people here.

[Warren DeMontague]

88. I think the statue post is a misrepresentation. However, steven did post a laughing smiley

And then bragged about "being about to win that argument" --- AFTER she had mentioned both her child and how the death of another child had brought it back.

So somewhere in there, she may have a point. And you know what else? At some point it's more important to be a decent human being - and maybe just let it go when someone is in deep, obvious pain- than it is to "win” on the internets.

With that, I'm fucking done, here.

[Coventina]

97. Agreed. As someone who has also lost a child, the pain can come back just as strong

as on day one, and can be triggered by things that other people cannot always predict.

When someone is telling you they are in that kind of pain, you cannot reason it away.
You just have to offer comfort or remove yourself.
That's just basic human decency.

I actually was avoiding this thread, because of my own issues, just based on the thread title.
It's a trigger for ME.
Then, I got called to serve on a jury, so I got dragged in, ironically.

Maybe it's the universe telling me I need to face my own issues.



Anyway, compassion.

It's never the wrong choice.....

[Warren DeMontague]

100. I am sorry for your loss, too. As a parent, I cant even imagine.

[Coventina]

107. Thanks

[Bonobo]

117. Coventina, I am sorry for your terrible terrible loss.

I hope you haven't been too triggered by this.

[Coventina]

131. Thanks from my heart.

I'm OK.


Hearing about children's births or deaths is difficult for me.

I don't want to project anything onto the OP, but if her emotional experience is anything like mine, the pain and rage are very much mixed together and it's incredibly painful / enraging that others just don't seem to understand why "little" things or unexpected triggers can be so completely gutting.

I am much more concerned for her right now.
This is upsetting to me, but I can just imagine what her pain is like.

It's beyond words of description, and when it flairs up like that, it's as fresh as day one.

Just a very sad day at DU.

[polly7]

123. I apologize, Coventina. I should have put a trigger warning in the title.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're exactly right, I get triggered all the time by things probably most people would shrug off. I think of him ever day, but some things just bring the pain right to the top, and I needed to do this. I don't know why ... I guess I'm just tired of the cruelty and have had enough.

Again, I'm very sorry.

[City Lights]

125. I'm sorry for your loss, Coventina.

[demmiblue]

98. +1

Not gonna happen, though.

[BainsBane]

99. I took that to be about the PMs she sent around

to him and several others in the first thread.

I can imagine nothing worse than what Polly went through with the loss of her child, nothing. Such pain must be unbearable, and I feel badly for her. I do not believe, however, that it is fair to the other member or healthy for her to place responsibility for that onto someone here.

[Warren DeMontague]

103. I'd give him the BOTD that he only read the first line of her post before responding.

I have not known steven to be a particularly cruel or uncaring indivdual.

However, in that case he ought to look it all over and, leaving aside any nastiness sent his way, apologize for that bit in it.

As for the rest of it, fair and healthy- like I said, there's a time when I think people ought to recognize the situation and just step back and let it go. Arguing for healthy fairness when someone is in that degree of pain isnt in itself healthy, OR fair.

[Lars39]

109. Simple human empathy would have been for Steve ( in 86-89 exchange) to at least acknowledge her loss

Ya'll need to quit treating people like this.

[Prism]

41. Stop

No one here is in the mood for you on this.

I'm asking you as a human being. Take the night off from your nonsense.

[pintobean]

57. +1

[madfloridian]

64. I so agree.

[riderinthestorm]

71. + another 1. Agree completely nt

[FSogol]

47. Bane is correct. That photo is from this thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026656317#post84

and has nothing to do with polly's son. In fact polly responded to the picture differently than she claims in this thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6689419

[polly7]

51. Yes, it is from a different thread.

In which I asked him who the child was he was laughing at. It was sick.

[FSogol]

53. It was obvious that he was mocking Edward Snowden.

That's what the entire thread devolved into. He in no way mocked your child.

[Number23]

68. This is the kind of thread that crosses new boundaries.

I don't even understand this kind of stuff. This is unreal.

And it's a statue of a child, not an actual child that's been pooped on. Even that bit in the OP is incorrect. Thank you for this post.

[SidDithers]

73. +1...

"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others" - George Orwell, Animal Farm

Sid

[Number23]

78. The fact that juries and hosts are allowing this woman's honest grief to manifest itself like this

is a new low for DU and that is truly saying something.

[Prism]

102. How does living in that hallucination feel?

I haven't had a problem with an LGBTer ever on DU. Unless you're counting the fraud Political Tiger. Which was hilarious. An anti-gay troll pretending to be gay, and you all backed him 100%. That was beclowning hilarity. Must've been embarrassing when he was caught out and banned.

No, no. Continue on. About how you hate it here, and everyone here sucks, and blah blah blah. But you're still here day after day. You care so little, you'll post for hours! Just to prove how little you care. Because you're, like, smart 'n shit.

Troll of mine, all my friends are PoC. I do social work in Oakland. You think I care one iota what your message board clique thinks?

No, please. Tell me all about it. From Australia.

[Number23]

110. I didn't alert but I will edit.

Because edits are visible forever and so are my feelings for this individual.

This is such a nasty thread. I hope that the OP and steven leser are able to work past this and come to some sort of understanding.

[LittleBlue]

111. This might be the ugliest thread I've ever read at DU

Been here since 2002, lost my account after a 3 hear hiatus. I cannot recall a thread that went as bad as this one. Even during the 2008 primaries, the Kerry defeat or the homophobe purge. Vicious stuff involving a dead child.

Never seen anything like this

[jeff47]

124. It is pretty bad. There's even selective cropping of screenshots in the OP.

This thread is not going to go well. I really hope someone shuts it down.

[MissDeeds]

128. It is disturbing

I don't know how some people could be so callous. Wish I hadn't read any of it.

[madfloridian]

56. Leave it alone. I read that thread. It was ugly. We lost a grandchild.

There is no getting over it. Leave it alone, okay.

[Warren DeMontague]

83. I agree. There is a point at which you would think decent people would stop trying to score points

And just back the fuck off.

[BainsBane]

89. The problem is she is blaming another member

who had absolutely nothing to do with her tragic loss.

[Warren DeMontague]

91. I responded to that upthread.

I think he was out of line to respond with a laughing smiley and bragging about being "about to win that argument"

DIRECTLY after she told him about the level of pain she was in, her own child and another child whose death she had just experienced.

Maybe he didnt read the whole post, but if not, he ought to apologize.

[jeff47]

108. And cropping the February date out of the first screenshot is the appropriate response

to a laughing smiley?

Steve needs to back off, but this isn't appropriate either. There are no saints here.

[Warren DeMontague]

112. It's a misrepresentation. And it's not right.

Polly may have believed it had something to do with her situation, ot she may have deliberately portrayed it as such.

That's not cool, if done deliberately. I wouldnt even try to say it is in any way justifiable, despite everything else.


But in dealing with someone who is obviously in such profound pain, what is to be won by arguing over it? I also said upthread i dont think steven is a cruel individual. I suspect he posted the smiley without really digesting the rest of polly's post. It does, however, point up a tendency of some here - myself included - to treat our "enemies" or sparring partners as cardboard cutouts, and not living human beings with real emotions and personal traumas.

We can all do better.

[polly7]

116. It was from a different thread.

I was sickened that he had posted it and asked him who the child was. When he laughed at the mention of my son, it represented to me exactly what he thought of me and my child - right or not.

[Warren DeMontague]

118. I understand.

And again, really all I can say here is that I'm so very sorry for your loss, and your pain.

[BainsBane]

130. Sound and thoughtful points

I wish I would have keep my big mouth out of the situation. I wish her well with healing as best she can, though I can only imagine something like that never heals.

[Bonobo]

114. That is the entire truth right there.

Whether he was laughing at her or not, I don't know.

I would like to believe that he did not read her post where she just described the death of her child before responding with the smiley.

But if that is the case, he should simply have apologized.

[madfloridian]

105. No, but he was unkind to her. Really pushed her when he should have backed off.

There is no sense in that.

[TDale313]

113. Things were said that obviously touched that open wound for her.

And maybe she wasn't as clear as she could have been in explaining why she reacted how she did, but seems to me she was hurt and people weren't easing up. I don't always agree with Polly, and I usually do agree with you, but on this I feel for her and I think it'd be good to cut her some slack.

[Warren DeMontague]

115. Thats kind of where I am, too.

[City Lights]

94. "Decent" people would back off...nt

[JI7]

59. You are correct

I'm sorry for Pollys loss. But the attacks on Steve are bs.

[Omaha Steve]

38. Trolls and cavers, not real DUers

K&R!

[prayin4rain]

24. I'm so sorry for the loss of you son.

He is beautiful.

[City Lights]

27. Polly, I am so very sorry for your loss and for the way you've been treated here.

This place really sucks sometimes.

I have always appreciated your posts.

[kimbutgar]

28. I'm so sorry for your loss

They say losing a child is the worst pain one can experience.

For someone to make a joke of a statute at a cemetery is inexcusable and cruel.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

31. Sorry for your terrible loss.

There are some people around this site who just don't know when to back the fuck off.

[Jumpin Jack Flash]

32. I'm sitting right next to my 6 year old son

And I could not even imagine my world without him.

Some people are egomaniacs, in a world of their own, and really needs to have a reality check. Thank you for sharing your story.

[mrs_p]

34. Sweet child. I am so sorry.

My heart breaks for you for such a loss.

I don't really know what was happening in those other threads, but from what I read, it is sickening. Maybe step away from here for awhile. Back to the world where people see you for who you are, not just an avatar.

[madfloridian]

44. The one who kept hurting her is the one who needs to step away.

I saw that thread and I was so angry.

[onecaliberal]

60. ^^that^^

[magical thyme]

95. agreed.

I cannot believe the hatefulness of some people here.

[closeupready]

39. Very sorry to hear about your son, Polly.

[madfloridian]

42. .....

Yes, there can be cruelty here. Hope you can find some peace.

[Prism]

43. People are here for you, Polly

Always.

[Bonobo]

93. Yes, anything we can do. Anything. nt

[barbtries]

48. he's a doll.

all the DU BS, i never saw any of those posts, but i am sorry that you have been hurt after all the hurt you have endured. i lost my daughter; i have some idea of the pain of the loss of a child. it is indeed the unkindest cut of all.
you wrote beautifully of Karley - clearly he was an absolute joy.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

49. You deserve an apology - a profound, sincere one.

Though I'm not sure that would help at this point. The comment was inexcusable and did not belong here. My deepest condolences at the loss of your child. I'm still shaking my head that someone would mock such a terrible circumstance.

[onecaliberal]

61. Especially someone with a small child.

[Warren DeMontague]

55. I am deeply sorry for your loss.

[Cleita]

62. I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's good you can express your grief through your art.

[redwitch]

63. Polly I am so sorry you lost your beautiful boy.

Shocking and sad and just awful. He was beautiful.

[enough]

66. I am sorry for your terrible loss of your beloved child.

The links provided in the OP do not in any way reflect the narrative you are providing concerning insensitive or cruel behavior by any poster at DU. The whole thing is incomprehensible. After following the links, I do not see any corroboration of your accusation.

[2banon]

86. What's incomprehensible are the OTT Snarky Nasty posts in that thread which were NOT hidden.

I hadn't seen that thread before clicking on the link. Then seeing your post certainly leaves me scratching my head as it incomprehensible how you are not able (at the minimum) to see the bullying, nastiness of a number of those posters in that thread.

incomprehensible indeed!

[Texasgal]

67. Polly..

We rarely agree on much. No matter I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son, what a sweet looking baby!

Bullies on DU make this place suck and I am so sorry that you have been targeted. NO ONE here deserves that kind of shit... EVER.

I may disagree with you but I would never, ever cross that line. Please be well and peace be with you and your beautiful baby boy.

[kdmorris]

69. I'm so sorry for your loss, polly

I never knew and I cannot even imagine how hard it is to lose a child.

[marmar]

70. ........

[deutsey]

72. I'm truly sorry for your loss

I'm not clear on what prompted all this (though I'm not surprised to see some of those who are involved), so I'm going to refrain from saying anything more.

[pnwmom]

74. I am so sorry you lost your beautiful, beautiful boy.

And in such a shocking way. Nothing can ever make up for a loss like that.

[tularetom]

75. Wow that was totally uncalled for and I'm sorry you were subjected to it

And I'm very sorry for the loss of your beautiful child.

I tend to give all posters here the benefit of the doubt as to their basic decency, but this shameful episode makes me realize how naive I was.

I guess the only thing I can say is don't pay any attention to people who post here for the sole purpose of publicizing their own blog and TV appearances.

[riderinthestorm]

76. (((Polly)))

[DashOneBravo]

79. I'm sorry for your loss

[shenmue]

80. ...

[jeff47]

81. Your links do not match your screenshots. Why is that? (nt)

[AuntPatsy]

85. Absolutely beautiful child, my deepest sympathies for your Heartbreaking loss,

[Bonobo]

87. Oh Polly...

My heart breaks reading this. What a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.

I haven't got the words. Just the wish that you feel more and more ease from the pain as more time passes.

[magical thyme]

92. I am so very, very sorry for your unimaginable loss...

and so sorry for what you've been put through here.

The poster in question has always struck me as somewhat creepy. But I could never have imagined anyone here being so maliciously cruel and hateful.

[heaven05]

96. your loss

is painful, even for me. I can only imagine what you feel. I hope you can find peace. That cruel person? My grandmother used to say, "god don't like ugly" and that person is very ugly. I hate mean, cruel and soulless people of which he typifies.

[Jefferson23]

101. So very sorry, Polly. Such a beautiful son...unimaginable loss.

May good memories bring you peace.

[sakabatou]

104. *hugs*

[Kingofalldems]

106. Sorry for your loss Polly.

[elfin]

121. Oh No,Oh Dear

My granddaughter is seven and is as beloved and dear to us as Karley is and was to you.

What a beautiful child. I grieve for you and yours. The extra verbiage relating to the circumstances may be a bit distracting, but his sweet life is relevant in every way imaginable.

Honor his sweet, short, life any way possible.

[abelenkpe]

122. I'm so sorry Polly

For your loss. For your having to endure such ugly bullying. Certainly have a different opinion of m
Stevenleser now.

[frogmarch]

126. My heart breaks for you, polly.

I am so very sorry for your terrible loss.

I'm horrified that someone here treated you that way. I am shocked and seething.

[Rex]

127. Don't do this to yourself. The handful of

people in that group are so not worth it or you even wasting time on them. This actually feeds them and makes them do it more. I know, sick, but there are people like that in this world.

I am sorry for the loss of your son, I cannot imagine what that is like.



EDIT - not saying delete this, just make it a tribute to your son.

[TexasTowelie]

132. Locking thread.

Disruptive Meta-Discussion

Threads complaining about Democratic Underground or its members; threads complaining about jury decisions, locked threads, suspensions, bannings, or the like; and threads intended to disrupt or negatively influence the normal workings of Democratic Underground and its community moderating system are not permitted.

Polly, we are very sympathetic to the loss of your son at such a young age and under extraordinary circumstances, but calling out another DU member does violate the SOP of this forum.

[TexasTowelie]

133. Unlocked thread after petition so author could self-delete.

Unilateral decision by me since it is the proper thing to do.