Marriage has never been defined by religious beliefs in the US.

[MineralMan]

When a couple wishes to marry, in every jurisdiction I know of, they go down to the local seat of government and get a "marriage license." They pay a fee and it is issued. Sometimes there are questions. Are you unmarried at this time? Are you closely related? Are you of age? If so, you get your marriage license.

Then, you can get married. The state gives you a license to get married. You can be married by a minister, a rabbi, a priest, or by anyone designated as an officiant by the state. You can be Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Wiccan, Pagan or believe in no religion at all. The state doesn't care. It has no justifiable interest in your religious beliefs. In most states, you can be married by a justice of the peace or a judge. In most states, you can be married by a secular officiant. The state doesn't give a damn who marries you, or with what ceremony.

After your wedding, either you or the officiant files a certificate of marriage with the local government, where it becomes part of the public record. Unless it is recorded in your local jurisdiction offices, it is the same as though your marriage doesn't exist in most places. Marriages are civil contracts, not religious celebrations. You can have a wedding, but unless you get a license and record your marriage, there is no marriage.

Religion has nothing to do with marriage. It is a government function. If you want to end it at some later time, you have to go to court in your jurisdiction and have it legally ended. Again, a government function.

This nonsense about marriage being a religious sacrament is nonsense. If that were so, atheists could never marry. Catholics couldn't marry Hindus. People previously divorced might also have trouble getting married in some churches. It doesn't matter. Get your license, have someone officiate, record your marriage in the government office, and you're married. Skip the first and last step, and you're not.

Marriage is a legal function of government. It is not religious. That argument has always been nonsense.

Now, the SCOTUS has said that all adults are entitled to marry the person they love, even if that person is the same sex or gender. Cool. That's the law. That's how it always should have been. It has nothing to do with religion.

Marriage has to do with two people in love. That's it. You just have to record your marriage with the government. That's what marriage means.

Disclaimer: I realize that laws vary among the states. However, in every state, marriage is a civil contract.

[Angry Dragon]

1. but god told me who I could marry

[MineralMan]

2. According to my beliefs, there is no such thing as a deity.

They don't exist. If you're a Hindu, you have to tell me which of the many deities told you. If you're a Native American, your deity could be a crow or a coyote. Gods are like goldfish. They come in many sizes and colors.

[hifiguy]

3. It is so simple. If marriage were strictly a religulous thing,

why have judges and justices of the peace been able to marry people since Day One in the US?

I clerked for a judge who must have married 35 couples in the 20 months I worked for him. My own parents were married by a judge. It is a matter of civil law, not religion. Always has been.

[MineralMan]

4. Yup. That religious argument has always been wrong.

Some weddings are religious. Marriages have to do with legal issues.

[Lars39]

8. "And by the power vested in me by the state of _______"

[hifiguy]

9. Yep.

I think I am going to get ordained in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. It's legit and is means you can marry people.

www.dudeism.com

[Lars39]

11. That'd be great! :-)

[MineralMan]

13. You could go into business as a marriage officiant, then.

Get Married Dude-Style! Special Offer This week! Just $100!

[hifiguy]

14. I may have to think about that.

"You may now mix the White Russians, man."

[arcane1]

5. I think it was a deliberate act by the right, to conflate weddings and marriage.

[MineralMan]

6. Indeed it was. They were always wrong about that.

I've been married twice. My current marriage was performed by a string bass player I knew, under a tree in my front yard. He recorded the marriage certificate at the county courthouse. The ceremony consisted of, "So you two want to get married, right?" We said, "Yes." He said, "Well, you are married now."

Then we had a big party, ate dozens of tamales and some cake and consumed the intoxicants of our choice. 25 years later, we're still happily married. I know we are, because we have a certified copy of that certificate.

[arcane1]

7. And certificates aren't as scary as church services.

Fortunately, the tactic failed

[malthaussen]

10. Well, I'll tell ya...

... happens that a friend of mine had a Jewish father and a Catholic mother. Neither religion acknowledged the validity of the marriage, although since the children were raised as Catholics the latter decided they were legitimate even if the marriage was not.

Marriage has one definition in law and another in faith, and the twain do not necessarily meet. But in the USA the legal provenance is quite clear, and that is the only question the government should concern itself with. It is the fundamentalist religious nuts who want to obfuscate the question.

Incidentally, marriage is most definitely a sacrament in the Catholic church. It is not, however, a sacrament in Protestant denominations, which is pretty ironic considering it is mostly Protestant fundamentalists who are making the most noise about it.

-- Mal

[MineralMan]

12. What if you get married in Sacramento, CA, though?

Now, that would be a Sacramental marriage, I'd think. You'd still have to get a license and file it after the wedding ceremony. But, it would be officially Sacramental.