I'm not very religious, but I could use your help this Christmas.

[stevedeshazer]

My brother, my only sibling, is dying of stage four glioblastoma, the worst type of brain cancer.

He's gone through a horrible divorce, the death of our mom, and now the realization that he won't be around for his three young kids.

All in the last fucking horrible year.

He's my little brother, just 50 years old.

The docs say he has just a few weeks to live. He's been through all the treatments that are standard care, radiation and chemotherapy, and infusions of Avastin.

So, my family is heading out this Christmas to spend it with him one last time.

And Monday, we will be near courtside with our sons to see the season opener of our beloved Blazers vs. the Sixers.

Next week, if he makes it, we'll take our boys to the coast over New Year's weekend.

I don't mean to be a downer, but thoughts and karma and yeah, I guess prayers would be helpful.

Peace and love to all.

Hug someone you care about, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, because it might be your last chance.

[elleng]

1. Hugs to you and yours, stevede

[stevedeshazer]

3. Thanks.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

[Yo_Mama]

2. So sorry

I will definitely pray for all of your extended family, and especially for your brother.

[stevedeshazer]

5. +1, and thanks. n/t

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. Cherish these moments with him

I know they are bitter sweet, but it is for both of you.

[stevedeshazer]

6. Thanks.

Peace and love to you.

[csziggy]

7. Spend time with your family and hug them all

You're right - hug the people you care about, RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

We lost a sister to glioblastoma in 1993. Every time I was with her, I treated as the last time I might see her. I still miss her. Since then, I try to let the people I love know that every chance I can.

for you, your brother and your entire family.

[stevedeshazer]

10. Awesome.

Thanks. Your post means a lot to me, right f... well you know what I mean.

Peace and love, csziggy.

[csziggy]

110. Hope it helped

One thing that does comfort me - I think my sister helped with the study of this cancer. She was a professor of physiology with a specialty in the brain. Her doctoral thesis was "Sections of the Brain", a definitive work on the microscopic sections as used to diagnosed brain diseases.

As a result, she was in contact with many neurosurgeons and other people who were studying brain diseases. Once she knew her disease was incurable, she allowed them to try some experimental procedures on her. Rather than the original prognosis of three months, she got eighteen months.

As I said, that was in 1992-93. Since then I've heard of a lot more people with glioblastoma that have lived longer than they used to with it - Ted Kennedy, for one. I hope that it helped prolong many more people's lives.

Peace and love to you, stevedeshazer, and to your family.

[stevedeshazer]

134. Thank you very much, I really appreciate your response.

Peace and love.

The MRIs and the science involved is amazing.

We're really talking about weeks or days here.

Ted Kennedy lived longer by these treatments, at least by months.

[northoftheborder]

8. Strength to you and your family for the coming days. Love, appreciate, and remember.

Especially remember.

[stevedeshazer]

18. Always, thanks. n/t

[CarmanK]

9. Get HOSPICE CARE IF AVAILABLE, RIGHT AWAY! Prayers do Help. Sharing good times matters.

He is not dead, so enjoy every last moment.

[stevedeshazer]

12. He's not quite there yet, but we've lined it up.

I'm gonna move in with him for now.

Good advice. I am enjoying it as much as I can. He's pretty tough.

[cherokeeprogressive]

11. So sorry steve.

Damn but life gets to be a downer sometimes. You and your brother will be in my heart and in my prayers tonight. Treasure the time you have left with him.

And thank you for the kind words you sent my way earlier. They meant a lot.

[stevedeshazer]

14. We just never know.

I'm happy your dad seems to be okay.

Peace and love.

[emilyg]

13. I'll keep him and your

family in my prayers. So very sorry.

[stevedeshazer]

16. Thanks.

And all the best to you and your family.

Life goes on.

[Vehl]

15. So sorry to hear this.

My thoughts are with you and your family. As others have already mentioned on this thread, spend as much time as possible with your brother as you can. Someone (I dont remember who) said that we only lose people when we stop remembering them. Your brother, and the experiences you both shared will be with you forever.

[IMG][/IMG]

[stevedeshazer]

19. +1, and thanks. n/t

[MedicalAdmin]

17. I don't pray.

But tonight I will pray for your brother.

My sincerest best wishes.

[stevedeshazer]

20. Thank you.

Peace and love.

[freshwest]

21. Sorry about this. I was just telling someone to be sure to tell those you love, that you love them.

At every parting and conversation, because they will generally realize it and return the favor. And it may be the last words and the last memory you will have in the years to come. Take care and keep on loving while you're living.

[stevedeshazer]

22. Good advice.

It's true.

[freshwest]

27. I think people don't because they think it's trite. I know that when those I have loved and who...

Passed on when I was unable to say goodbye, it left a shadow on my heart. And that was most of them, actually. Many sudden deaths, no time to say goodbye or have those last words.

I've also said to friends, who, like me, have lost spouses and others. 'What would we give, to see the look of love in their eyes, for just one last time?' The answer we shared, 'Anything.'

[barbtries]

23. i was just going to lay down.

but first i'm going to go hug my son. all best wishes to your brother and your entire family.

[stevedeshazer]

32. Good idea.

You never know.

[roguevalley]

24. you have my prayers, all of you. Take care of yourself too. I am praying for all of you.

You are right about hugging someone now and getting stupid shit over. my parents died ten months apart and it took four years to find my footing again. We parted well, the three of us. I wish you peace and all the hope possible.

[stevedeshazer]

33. +1

Love you.

Peace and love.

[yardwork]

25. I'm very sorry.

[stevedeshazer]

34. Thank you.

Sincerely.

[Riley18]

26. Best wishes to you and your brother.

[stevedeshazer]

41. Thank you and Merry Christmas.

[housewolf]

28. May loving angels surround you, your brother, and all of your families

May they hold you close in their tenderness and love, and may they help make your brother's passing as easy as possible for him and all of you.


I am so, so sorry for all of you

Hugs to you, dear one, and all of your family.

[stevedeshazer]

36. Thanks, and Merry Christmas!

[ancient_nomad]

29. Dear Friend, my prayers...

for you, your brother, and all your family.

Take good, good care.

The night my Father died, we were driving to his home, and passed a local supermarket bearing a sign with these words:
Friends spread cheer and divide grief

He passed suddenly. I never had the chance to say goodbye. Count your blessings and the time you will spend with him this week. In reality it is all each of us has...the now.

[stevedeshazer]

37. Your words mean a lot.

That's an amazing story.

+1

[hfojvt]

30. I really think your brother

should demand a refund

That's all I sorta have to offer. Music and an attempt at a joke.

[stevedeshazer]

38. Received in the intended spirit.

That more or less sums it up.

Peace and love.

[KT2000]

31. Good thoughts to you

and your brother in this difficult but precious time.
I am really sorry.

[stevedeshazer]

39. Thanks, good person.

+1 and all the best to you. Life will go on.

[RainDog]

35. I'm so glad he has you in his life

And I'm sure he is too.

hugs to you and yours.

[stevedeshazer]

40. We have become close lately like we haven't since childhood.

Peace and love to you.

[stevedeshazer]

42. And thanks to all of you, I am printing this thread and bringing it to him.

You all are so kind. I know this will bring him some comfort.

Again, peace and love. That is what really matters.

[Maraya1969]

43. I believe that he or whatever you believe in has given you

this time to be together in true honesty and love and that you will remember this as a blessing in your life. I have been with a couple people at the death beds and trust me it is a privilege and a spiritual experience.

And yea, hug him and the rest of your family and you can't tell them that you love them too many times.

Peace and love from me to you and your brother and your extended family. Maraya

[HUG]

[stevedeshazer]

45. Thank you.

What you said is true.

Peace and love,

Steve.

[Ms. Toad]

44. Take care of each other

[stevedeshazer]

46. We are doing our best.

[snagglepuss]

47. I pray that love, peace and comfort surround you, your brother and his family.

I firmly believe he is passing into another mode of existence and will always be near at hand.

[stevedeshazer]

48. +1

I believe the same.

[nevergiveup]

49. I am sending your little brother all the good karma I can muster this early Christmas morning.

I have been where you are now with a younger brother. I know your heartache and pain.
Peace to you and your family.

[stevedeshazer]

77. Thanks.

Merry Christmas.

[Tikki]

50. Strong hugs.....

and know how important it is to your brother
to have your love and devotion.

You are a good person.



The Tikkis

[stevedeshazer]

66. Merry Christmas

Thanks for your kind words.

[Taverner]

51. ... (((HUG))) ...

I am hugging you, then I am hugging my wife (possibly the soon-to-be-ex-wife) and then hugging my kids, 8 and 5.

[stevedeshazer]

67. Hoping your prediction does not come true.

Good luck.

[sueh]

52. Praying for brother, Steve. Peace and love to your and your family.

[stevedeshazer]

68. Thanks.

[Fire Walk With Me]

53. You are both in my prayers tonight, hope that's not a turn-off

as some folk are offended by that sort of thing; I don't want to push those buttons on a subject such as this. I'm so sorry.

[stevedeshazer]

64. It's not a turnoff.

It's appreciated.

Thanks and Merry Christmas.

[FlaGatorJD]

54. All my Christmas spirit and positive thoughts are now on their way to you my DU friend

Having had the experience of several tragedies, including deaths in the family, one which was a sibling only 32, and it all happened in a short period, all I can say is that it does get better. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but it does.

I hugged about 50 lifelong friends or family at a party tonight, and I meant everyone of them, and your comments, makes them mean even more.

I hope you really get to enjoy the time at the game with your brother, and Portland kicks some butt


Peace and love to you Steve - Merry Christmas

[stevedeshazer]

69. Merry Christmas!

[NNN0LHI]

55. Thank you for posting this with the advice

Because that is good advice. The best.

You and your brother are in my thoughts.

Don

[stevedeshazer]

70. Thanks, Don.

Merry Christmas!

[malaise]

56. Here's a hug for you

Promise your brother you'll be a dad for his kids

[stevedeshazer]

65. I can't replace him.

But I will be the best damn uncle I can be. I've told him that.

[stevedeshazer]

71. Ah yes, the DNR papers.

Glad she is still with you.

44 years! Ms. D and I have been together 30 years. That's a long time.

Merry Christmas!

[GoCubsGo]

59. I'm sorry.

Sending good thoughts.

[stevedeshazer]

72. Thanks.

Back at ya.

[lumberjack_jeff]

60. I'm sorry Steve.

“Just to fill the hour – that is happiness. Fill my hour, ye gods, so that I shall not say whilst I have done this ‘behold an hour of my life is gone,’ but rather ‘I have lived one hour.’” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

[stevedeshazer]

73. Good quote.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

61. I wish I could give you a real hug

we're so close, yet so far

treasure every moment, every hug, every smile.. we've learned that in our house recently too.

Much love to you and your family.

[stevedeshazer]

74. To you as well, my friend.

Merry Christmas!

[William769]

62. Sending good vibes to you and your family.

[stevedeshazer]

75. Thank you and Merry Christmas.

[great white snark]

63. My thoughts and prayers to your family stevedeshazer.

I'm sorry.

[stevedeshazer]

76. Merry Christmas!

Thank you.

[BlueToTheBone]

78. Thank you for the rieminder

My heartfelt feelings for you and your family.

Om Mani Padme Hum

[stevedeshazer]

91. Om Mani Padme Hum

That made me think.

Thank you.

[bemildred]

79. Been there, done that.

Same deal, younger brother dying, different fatal illness.

Stay the course, it's hard, but you won't be sorry you did.

[stevedeshazer]

85. Thank you.

Merry Christmas!

[classof56]

80. Blessings, hugs and all good thoughts coming your way from East of the Cascades

You are an inspiration with your strength, love, compassion and the care you are giving your brother. I know he is gaining strength from you, and can only imagine how much he appreciates such an incredible brother. Many years ago, my only sister (who doubled as my source of strength) died suddenly in a traffic accident not too far from Portland, and to this day I miss not only her but the fact I had no chance to say goodbye. It's like a piece of my soul left with her.

How wonderful that you can spend so much time with your brother, and especially that you will see our Blazers play at last. (Sorry, Sixers!) And the trip to the Oregon coast--well, aside from being here in the shadow of the Three Sisters, there's no place I'd rather be than watching waves break on the rocks and caress the shore as the sun disappears over the horizon and the sea birds wing their way across the sky. Magic!

Peace, love and hugs to you.

[stevedeshazer]

86. Your very kind and compassionate reply is much appreciated.

My brother and I once climbed South Sister. It's something I will always remember.

Merry Christmas.

[bigtree]

81. thanks for the reminder steve

best of wishes to all -- take care of yourself

[stevedeshazer]

87. You too, and thanks. n/t

[1monster]

82. May I suggest you get a copy of WE DON'T DIE, GEORGE ANDERSON'S CONVERSATIONS

WITH THE OTHER SIDE (by Joel Martin and Patricia Romanowski).



This book (and its sequel: WE ARE NOT ALONE) changed my outlook on life and death. It offers comfort and hope and it is NOT religious.

It's available on Ebay, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, Overstock.com, et als.

My sympathies on what your brother and your families are going through now.

[stevedeshazer]

88. Great suggestion!

I may well take that up.

Thank you.

[lunatica]

83. I hope all of you have a loving last holiday together

[stevedeshazer]

89. We shall.

Thank you.

[LeftishBrit]

84. Very best wishes and thoughts to your brother. And to his children.

[stevedeshazer]

90. Thank you, Merry Christmas and may you enjoy an excellent new year.

Peace and love.

[irisblue]

92. love and light

to you and your family. prayers going on and candles lit. i am sorry

[stevedeshazer]

93. Peace and love.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

94. I've been chanting for your brother, you and all, this morning, steve

We are all connected, like the ropes of a fishing net. When you tug on one, they all move. We are all pulling for you.





"The experience of losing a loved one impels us toward a deeper understanding of life. Everyone fears and is saddened by death. That is natural. But by struggling to overcome the pain and sadness that accompanies death, we become sharply aware of the dignity and preciousness of life and develop the compassion to share the sufferings of others as our own."
― Daisaku Ikeda http://www.ikedaquotes.org/life-death/life-death600

“Strength is Happiness. Strength is itself victory. In weakness and cowardice there is no happiness. When you wage a struggle, you might win or you might lose. But regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being.”
― Daisaku Ikeda

[stevedeshazer]

98. You are so right.

Thank you.

Peace and love.

[CakeGrrl]

95. Sending good thoughts to you and your family.

[stevedeshazer]

99. Peace and love to you, CakeGrrl. n/t

[AtomicKitten]

96. Barring a miraculous recovery, I wish your brother a peaceful transition.

Wishing your family peace and tidings of comfort in the new year.

[stevedeshazer]

101. Same to you.

Peace and love.

Heading out to his house now.

[blondie58]

97. i am so sorry

I am so sorry for you and your family. Sending my positive energy your way.

You will be responsible for telling the kids about their dad. Very important

I am also a believer in laughter therapy. Humor is so important, imho.

Please know that we are all with you.

Peace- dawn

[stevedeshazer]

100. Thanks.

You are right about that.

[annabanana]

102. My thoughts and warmest wishes go out to you and your family.

It's been two years since we said goodbye to my Dad. We were with him and gave him the most comfortable bon voyage we could. Knowing that help eases the pain of loss.

Heartfelt prayers to you all.

[stevedeshazer]

126. Thanks, anna

Best wishes to you and yours.

[Yooperman]

103. My thoughts are with you ... you are not alone....

I lost my one older brother to brain cancer a couple of years ago. He was only 54 a single father with a 10 year old son. I know where you are at my friend. Be with family... grieve together.

Peace

YM

[stevedeshazer]

115. Thanks.

We had a really good day, just got back.

[sellitman]

104. My oldest has survived 2 brain tumor operations

And for that we consider ourselves lucky. Consider the time spent and the memories as time winds down. For the time you spend with him now is more than others ever have.

Hugs to you and your family as you face this together.

[stevedeshazer]

116. It's amazing how many have this shared experience.

Thank you.

[MelissaB]

105. Sending positive thougths your way.

I lost my mother to the same horrible disease.

[stevedeshazer]

117. Sorry to hear.

It's really tough. I hope you have been able to move forward.

[polly7]

106. I'm so sorry.

[stevedeshazer]

120. (((hugs)))

[DesertRat]

107. Saying prayers for your brother and family

Enjoy the time together. Peace.

[stevedeshazer]

121. Appreciated.

Thank you.

[southernyankeebelle]

108. I don't know you but my prayers are with you. Today didn't turn out to be a great day for us either

not from bad health. My daughter-in-law was upset because she had to work til 8 on christmas eve. By the time she got home it was 10 pm. They had to wait for the customers to go and clean up. My son (her husband) had dinner all fixed for her and was pretty mad because she is always complaining about not spending enough quality family time. She was upset that he had to go in tonite to work. My son is very hard worker and is always there when they need him. They take advantage of him. Well they really got into it. I think both are acting like little children. She is young. He is very responsible and his job comes first. That upsets her. He comes from a good ethics family. You do what you have to do. He hates the job but he knows jobs are hard to come by now. She has to learn you got to do what you got to do. They have been together for many years on and off and they got remarried. I am worried they may not make it. I dont know how to help them. They both are shelffish. When I hear things like what you are going through it puts things in prospective. God bless you. I hope your brother can have a peaceful passing.

[stevedeshazer]

118. These are hard times for many of us.

I hope that all gets worked out. Thanks for your positive wishes.

[southernyankeebelle]

127. Thanks Steve. She spent the night at her dad's. The problem they both talk over each other and

they don't listen. I see his point. He has his job and he tries to get as many hours as possible because he is a cook. You would think that is a good thing. I hope it works out. Its in god's hands. You can only do so much without trying to get in the middle. I refuse to get in the middle. I never want my daughter-in-law blaming me if things don't work out. But then again they are living in our double wide home for free. They should be happy. But I do think she has some issues that go back with her own childhood. I don't want that with my grandchild. Hope you and your family get some peace. I forgot to tell you my baby brother died 3 years ago of lung cancer. He never smoked. He was only 39 yrs old. I still think about him everyday. He was to young.

[Sherman A1]

109. While not religious at all

I will certainly follow your advice and it is something I suggest to those about me on a regular basis.

My best wishes to you at this difficult time.

[stevedeshazer]

119. +1, and thanks. n/t

[Tippy]

111. Hugs and Prayers comming your way

[stevedeshazer]

123. Peace and love to you.

[JoePhilly]

112. This Sixer's fan wishes you the very best ... !!

[stevedeshazer]

122. The Sixers I respect.

You might just have a pretty good team there.

Iggy and EBrand with Doug Collins coaching...that's got some potential.

Good luck and thanks.

[JoePhilly]

128. Thanks ... I'm glad to see Doug Collins coaching them ...

He was playing for the Sixers when I was a kid ... and my grandmother worked at the local ABC station and so one day he was there, and she got him to sign an autograph for me ... I played a lot of basketball back then, but had just broken one of my ankles. So he wrote ... "Take care of those ankles!! Doug Collins" ... I still have it.

You sound like you follow basketball ... so maybe you'll like this related story ... Do you remember Daryl Dawkins?? He played center for the Sixers back in the late 70s, and he's the guy who broke the backboards dunking. Here is a Youtube link on it.

At one point in the video, one of the reporters is holding one of the pieces of backboard glass that resulted from the dunk (the 2nd dunk, th one in one in Philly).

A guy my Grandmother knew at that TV station was able to get all of the broken glass. The crew who cleaned it up did not see it as significant. She said he gave them like $200 for all of it. He called them "Dawkins Diamonds", and tried to sell them.

My grandmother got him to give her some of them, and she gave them to me ... so I also have an envelope of about 15 little pieces of that broken backboard. Sad thing is, there is no documentation for them.

Still, fun to have them.

Continued good wishes.

[stevedeshazer]

129. Chocolate Thunder Darryl Dawkins is a legend in Portland because of the '77 Finals

Thanks for that video. You have pieces of the shattered backboard? That is really cool.

The Sixers and Blazers in the '77 finals was epic. There was a fight between Darryl and the Blazers Maurice Lucas in Game 2.

You guys had Dr. J and World B. Free and George McInnis. And Doug Collins as a player.

We had Train Hollins, Maurice Lucas and Bill Walton.

Good times.

&feature=related

[JoePhilly]

130. I was at game 5 in Philly!!!

I was sitting in the rafters.

Was crushed when we lost that one!!

[stevedeshazer]

132. Wow!

I remember that vividly (though I watched on TV).

Dr. J, George McGinnis, Caldwell Jones, Doug Collins, Bill Walton, Maurice Lucas & all.

Not to mention the fashionable coaches Gene Shue and Jack Ramsay. Those were good times.

[femmocrat]

113. Sending prayers to your family, stevedeshazer.

I lost my beloved younger sister this past year. She was also only 50, but we didn't get to say good-bye. While it will be very hard, please be grateful that you got to spend his last Christmas together. And promise him you will care for his family. That will give him some peace.

I'm so sorry.

[stevedeshazer]

124. Sorry to hear about your sister.

50 is far too young.

Peace and love.

[susanr516]

114. I don't know if there is a God

but I am praying for you, your brother, and your family, anyway. My husband lost his sister to brain cancer 10 months ago. It is a terrible thing.

[stevedeshazer]

125. I don't know, either.

I'm sorry about your sister-in-law.

I'm amazed at how many have someone in their family who has gone through this.

Peace and thanks.

[sabrina 1]

131. I am really sorry, stevedeshazer.

Life can be so cruel and unfair.

[stevedeshazer]

133. Thanks

Take care.

[TBF]

135. I'm seeing this a little late but you'll all be in my prayers -

dealing with a similar situation ourselves. In-laws are in their 80s and I spent Christmas following mom around to make sure she didn't fall down (she did in fact fall off the couch once). We are working on getting them into an assisted living facility. She had a stroke a few months ago and it's not pretty. Will definitely be thinking of you.