General Discussion

Erose999

(5,624 posts) Fri Aug 7, 2015, 04:50 PM Aug 2015

My impressions of the debate. What the candidates really said:

CANDIDATE OPENING REMARKS

Rand Paul (whose gimmick for years had been "I might run 3rd party&quot

chastising Trump for not refusing to run 3rd party.

Rubio: Lets just give it to Hillary. She's qualified. Have you guys tried Amazon?

JEB!: In Florida they just call me JEB! Cause the "B" in JEB! stands for Bush so "JEB Bush" is redundant.

Trump (to Megyn Kelly re: sexist comments): I see you've read my Youtube comments.

Ted Cruz: Hey! Soundman! Can I get some slapback echo on this mic? THATS thats GOOD thats goodthatsgood

Walker: I hope they don't ask me about abortion again.
Huckabee: Ask me about abortion, ask me about abortion! Ooh ooh ooh! me me me!

ON IMMIGRATION

Trump: We need to build a wall! I'm thinking black granite, lots of gold, maybe some red sconces of tract lighting. And a portico with a steel and glass canopy. Expose and backlight the structural beams. And we'll have an exclusive door for the VIP area. You know, CLASSY. An aesthetic that reflects class and quality like me, Donald Trump.

Rubio: People feel like they're being taken advantage of... by the people who harvest our crops for $7 an hour.

Ted Cruz: My dad got amnesty for being a Cuban refugee. I have never supported amnesty!!

ON CIVIL LIBERTIES

Is Chris Christie wearing one of those Lance Armstrong bracelets on his right arm? Or is that a Swatch?

Rand Paul: The 4th amendment was what we fought the revolution over! Whether its a powdered wig or your real hair, its your business... not the government's. Even if my browser history does have visits to hairpieces.com the gov't isn't getting it without a warrant.

Carson: According to the AMA, 9 out of 10 doctors oppose waterboarding. I'm # 10.

ON HEALTHCARE:

Trump: Obamacare can work. I have a big company that has thousands and thousands of employees. Let me bid on it! Let ME buy the politicians and I can give you great plans.

Trump: Of course I gave Hillary money. How can I refuse a favor on the day of my daughter's wedding?

ON EDUCATION:

JEB!: You know what the problem with education is? Teachers! Always asking to get paid what they're worth.

JEB! I made the first statewide voucher program in the country, the second statewide voucher program in the country, and the third statewide voucher program in the country. We'll get it right one day.

Rubio: Here's the problem with common core: burning books should be a local decision.

ON SOCIAL PROGRAMS:

Carson: How do you guys feel about Bernie Sanders? I think he's got a shot.

Chris Wallace: JEB! Bush, how will you match the success of FDR's New Deal and LBJ's Great Society program?

JEB!: You remember all the stuff FDR and LBJ did? Well, none of that.

Huckabee: Listen, all my voters are ON Social Security. Take social welfare benefits away from everybody else but leave old White people alone!

Trump: Hey, those banks loaned me money and I burned 'em by declaring chapter 11. It's not MY fault they were dumb enough to loan me money. I made a lot of money off those suckers and I'm proud of it!

ON ABORTION:

Trump: Listen, this couple I know (who is totally not me and one of my former wives) had a close call with an unexpected pregnancy one time but they chose not to have an abortion. They later divorced and he had to pay her and their daughter a really, really yooj settlement, but they're doing fine. I mean I'd date their daughter myself if she weren't my own.... wait, what was the question?

Rubio: Exceptions for incest discriminate against the inbred.

TRUMP WHEN ASKED ABOUT HIS PAST SUPPORT FOR DEMS ETC.

Trump: Listen, Reagan was a Democrat once too. He later went on the make bad movies like Bedtime for Bonzo. I could make bad movies too. Have you seen the Apprentice?

ON THE MILITARY:

Trump: We have beer specials and people doing joust reenactments in Newark, just across the border. It's called "Medieval Times". We don't have time for tone, they close at 11 and we want to get there before last call. And I wanna stop by the res and get some smokes on the way.

Trump: We get Bergdahl, a traitor, and they get 5 killers they want. Thats not how you run a casino. Everybody knows you limit your exposure to an advantage player. If you can't lure them to a game thats out of their skill set, you use distraction. Comp them drinks and get them liquored up. Send some ladies around to encourage them to show off and take risks.

Carson: Is this mic on? Our Navy is at its smallest size since the days when we fought wars with Iowa class battleships.

Huckabee: The purpose of the military is to kill brown people and break our budget. We can't let THE GAYS in on that. Obama's reduced our military by 25% after the 2 wars ended. Its almost like he doesn't want to start wars. We've only got 44 B52's in service and combat ready. If we ever need to indiscriminately carpet bomb some rusted out Toyota trucks and tents somewhere we'll only have 44 ridiculously oversized planes to do it with.

Walker: Remember that time I completely ignored 100,000 protesters?

Megyn Kelly: Hey Rubio, you kinda got dicked on time by the other, more popular candidates so let me give you a boost by adding veterans to your question.

Kelly: Hey Ben Carson, since your Black why don't you talk about respectability politics for a while.

CLOSING STATEMENTS:

Christie:
Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up
Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Paul: I'm a different kind of Republican. Not different enough for a 3rd party though. Please keep funding me.

Rubio: I'm making a sly reference to Project for a New American Century. Wink wink! Nudge nudge!

Cruz: You know those E-mail forwards your grandma sends you? I'll immediately take action on all that stuff.

Carson. Is this mic still on? *feedback* I AM a doctor. But I play a presidential candidate on TV.

Huckabee:

Walker: I have 2.5 kids and Harley like every other white guy over 40. Absolutely lowest common denominator. Lower your expectations and vote for me.

Trump: America can't do anything right but a 4x bankrupt 3x divorced man like me can.

Megyn Kelly: Fuck, I've got ANOTHER show after this? Do I have time to put on more mascara? Did I say that out loud?

The debate went pretty much as I expected. It was all about that Trump.

Carson really underwhelmed me. He'll be the first candidate out.

Huckabee may win a couple Southern states but once the primaries become winner-take-all he'll be out.

Kasich will be the veep nominee. He's safe and milquetoast. Non polarizing. Has a base in a swing state.

Rand Paul also underwhelmed me. Other than his arguments on civil liberties there really is nothing going on with him.

Christie held water but I just don't think he's got the conservative credentials. He's like the punching bag others use to build their own conservative "street cred".

Walker and JEB! were the real "winners" as far as I can tell.

Income inequality, LGBT rights, the surveillance state, student loans, and collective bargaining rights were not mentioned at all