6 Ridiculous Lies You Believe About the Founding of America

[Quixote1818]

By: Jack O'Brien, Elford Alley Cracked.com

When it comes to the birth of America, most of us are working from a stew of elementary school history lessons, Westerns and vague Thanksgiving mythology. And while it's not surprising those sources might biff a couple details, what's shocking is how much less interesting the version we learned was. It turns out our teachers, Hollywood and whoever we got our Thanksgiving mythology from (Big Turkey?) all made America's origin story far more boring than it actually was for some very disturbing reasons. For instance ...

Read more: 6 Ridiculous Lies You Believe About the Founding of America | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_19864_6-ridiculous-lies-you-believe-about-founding-america.html#ixzz1vLnnyZYi

[longship]

1. You mean Paul Revere didn't ring bells when he warned the British?

[lastlib]

5. Buh-buh-buh-but--Sarah Palin said so!!

She wouldn't lie, would she??

[HiPointDem]

28. paul & some others, including a couple of george bush ancestors.

Paul Revere:

After I had been there [at the Hancock-Clarke house] about a half an hour, Mr. Daws (sic) came; we refreshed ourselves ourselves, and set off for Concord. We were overtaken by a young Dr. Prescott, whom we found to be a high Son of Liberty... I likewise mentioned that we has better alarm all the inhabitants till we got to Concord. The young doctor much approved of it and said he would stop with either of us, for the people between that and Concord knew him and would give more credit to what we said.

Prescott completed revere's ride assisted by his brother abel prescott jr. they were the brothers of prescott bush's 3rd g-grandmother.

[Yavin4]

31. No Silly. Paul Revere Tweeted That The British Were Coming

OMG! Brits r cumng

[abelenkpe]

2. Best quote from article:

"Whether they honestly believed they'd lucked into the 17th century equivalent of Candyland or were being willfully ignorant about how the land got so tamed, the truth about the presettled wilderness didn't make it into the official account. It's the same reason every extraordinarily lucky CEO of the past 100 years has written a book about leadership. It's always a better idea to credit hard work and intelligence than to acknowledge that you just got luckier than any group of people has ever gotten in the history of the world."

[WhoIsNumberNone]

14. Here's mine:

"In the realm of personal hygiene, the Europeans out-hippied the Indians by a foul smelling mile."

[newspeak]

26. I've thought that more than once

most native americans were better at personal hygiene than the europeans. And, most of the europeans thought the native americans were little more than animals because the indians didn't share their world view (and they wanted their land). navajos called mormons the chatter people and the ojibwa called the europeans the beaver people (i'm sure you know why).

[The Wielding Truth]

32. This site is like The Onion, right? I don't have time to read it.

[Zalatix]

3. My reaction, in pictures:

Your story is the guy standing up.
[img][/img]
I'm the guy on the ground, after reading this story.

Call me FLOORED. UTTERLY.

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

4. Funny, I didn't read anywhere about any Christian's making America

and I didn't find "one Nation under god" mentioned anywhere either.

[RC]

6. An excellent read

Well worth the time.

[Rowdyboy]

7. Really fascinating....I'd never heard about the two American natives who landed in Holland in 60 BC.

Love to know more about that story.

Wouldy you consider cross-posting this in the American History group? Its a good read and fits beautifully.

[RZM]

17. I am somewhat skeptical about that

I had never heard it either. The link on the Cracked site takes you to a book that does not appear to be particularly scholarly. The claim is made without any citations and is preceded by the phrase 'anthropologists conjecture.'

I don't discount the possibility that this could have happened, but I would prefer to see more evidence to take it to the bank.

[Rowdyboy]

18. I've found a book on the general subject of the American discovery of Europe....apparently

due to the currents it would be somewhat easier than the reverse. It refers to "possible" occurences dating as far back as ancient Rome but I've seen nothing concrete. Probably little more than speculation-like Eric von Daniken and Chariots of the Gods back in the 1960's. As an immature teenager I ate that shit up!

[RZM]

19. Kind of like Gavin Menzies, who has made a career out of making dubious claims

His first book argued that the Chinese sailed to the west coast of North America in the 1400s. His next book argued that they went to Italy and sparked the Renaissance a couple decades later.

His latest book is about . . . wait for it . . . Atlantis.

Few respected historians take him very seriously.

[Rowdyboy]

20. I'm ashamed to admit I included references to Von Daniken in my high school senior thesis on the...

demise of the Maya. My teacher was unimpressed with him but liked my work overall.

I will admit to being impressed with current speculation that the Greek island Santorini was really "Atlantis". From what I've seen, there is a possibly valid case to be made.

[Sedona]

8. K&R

.

[bupkus]

9. We were taught the "settlers" conquered barbarians

When it was the other way around. Barbarians conquered indigenous people.

Once again, capitalism destroys civilization.

[southmost]

10. Sometimes, I wish we had a 'like' feature for posts like this

[Blue_Tires]

11. kick

[Curmudgeoness]

12. Long read....worth every minute.

Although I was aware of some of the facts in this article, most were a surprise...well, not a surprise since nothing surprises me about the lies we were taught. All to save face.

Best quote is a caption to a picture: "That is the sea. I would suggest that you use it to take a bath, you smell like the inside of my asshole."

And I just love that the Iroquis Confederation was apparently the rough draft for the Constitution.

[alittlelark]

13. KnR

[Odin2005]

16. Some people are not going to like #5 or #1.

[hunter]

21. Guns, Germs, and Steel... nope. Just germs.

A society of rats and fleas spreading the plague.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guns,_Germs,_and_Steel

[burrowowl]

22. For dispelling myths

Howard Zinn's "A Peoples History of the United States" is a must read!

[gateley]

23. I've been meaning to read that forever and keep forgetting - thanks for the reminder! nt

[Kablooie]

24. I cannot tell a lie...

Unless I'm telling the George Washington cherry tree story.
That was a lie.

[NuttyFluffers]

25. great article, and everything i already knew. thank you my almost-NA Studies minor. :)

it's an extremely fascinating story, and I think the mythologies we feed our children to give them a sanitized version of history and life -- to avoid uncomfortable questions -- has been a great disservice. first of all, it lies to kids. second, it often seems so pat and uninteresting it fosters resentment and a lifelong disinterest in history for so many people. third, it provides ludicrously easy answers to "life, the universe, and everything" leading to a coarsening of discourse and arming authoritarian personalities with a security blanket to shut out the hard truths of the world.

seriously, since when did Cracked go from 70s juvenilia to erudite and educational satire? something really good happened along the way.

[Egalitarian Thug]

27. Had to post guards to stop the whites from "going native". K&R

[Fantastic Anarchist]

29. Awesome post. Thanks.

[Amster Dan]

30. #7

"God" had something to do with it.