Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCutting Losses, Kochs to Sell Scott Walker - savvy move described by Andy Borowitz
WICHITA (The Borowitz Report)Saying that things just didnt work out, the billionaire Koch brothers have decided to put Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker up for sale.
The Kochs, who earlier had purchased Gov. Walker with great fanfare, announced their plan to sell the politician in a terse statement from Koch Industries headquarters in Wichita.
Scott Walker is a fine individual, and we wish him well, the Kochs statement read. We are confident that he will be a good fit for some other billionaire industrialists.
Republican insiders, however, called the Kochs plan to sell Walker highly optimistic, and noted that the market for the Wisconsin Governor was, at this point, virtually nonexistent.
The Kochs, who reportedly had been frustrated by Walkers poor performance in the polls, finally decided to sell the Wisconsinite after last weekends odd pronouncement, in which he seemed to support a border wall with Canada.
According to a Koch associate, Ignorance has always been a part of Scotts appeal, but that Canada thing was just too much.
After their plan to sell him was announced, the Kochs immediately pulled Walker off the campaign trail for fear that he might say something that would further reduce his dwindling market value.
In Iowa, an aide to Walker said that the Governor was still processing the news that he had been put up for sale. It takes a while for Scott to understand things, the aide said.
www.borowitzreport.com
InfoView thread info, including edit history
TrashPut this thread in your Trash Can (My DU » Trash Can)
BookmarkAdd this thread to your Bookmarks (My DU » Bookmarks)
5 replies, 1193 views
ShareGet links to this post and/or share on social media
AlertAlert this post for a rule violation
PowersThere are no powers you can use on this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
ReplyReply to this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
Rec (18)
ReplyReply to this post
5 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Cutting Losses, Kochs to Sell Scott Walker - savvy move described by Andy Borowitz (Original Post)
Mira
Sep 2015
OP
Gidney N Cloyd
(19,835 posts)1. k&r
Couldn't get rid of him in a resale shop.
Wellstone ruled
(34,661 posts)3. When you can't walk and chew gum,
you have issues. BTW,Wisconsin residents are finally taken their blinders off. Not only did they loose their basic rights,they got screwed over by a out state voting machine operator. When some company has a strip mall address as their corporate office,questions maybe.
oldandhappy
(6,719 posts)4. Hilarious! Thank you Andy. Good laugh for my morning.
Gothmog
(145,242 posts)5. I love good satire