General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsIS this really inappropriate for a jr high school kid to wear to school?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sparker/daughter-inappropriate-outfit-school_b_1539939.html
The outfit actually looked appropriate to me; especially given the fact that it was 86F (30C) and the AC in the junior high was not working well outside of the front office. How could I be so blind as to have missed the fact that my daughter was dressed as a harlot, and presented a danger to all the boys in the school? I read "Great Expectations" once. Just because the school might champion some Dickensian imagery does not mean they must bow to them all. What vile boy-crushing monster had my daughter become, and why couldn't I see it?
I began to think : "Luckily the school administration can look at her and see her as a provocative female," but then I thought... no... that is extremely creepy. I tried to think: "Luckily the school administration can look at her though the eyes of hormone-addled teenage boys to see her as provocative," but then I thought... no... that is weird-creepy.
******************************
Seriously!? People dress like this at work. I don't understand how this is in anyway inappropriate. Are they pissed she's not dressed in a burqa?
surrealAmerican
(11,360 posts)... violated what part of their dress code?
Suich
(10,642 posts)she was told her skirt was ONE-HALF INCH too short.
freshwest
(53,661 posts)Weird dean took to squatting on the floor to look up the stairs to see what was up those skirts, too. I got called on the carpet for having a skirt that was mid-calf just to deny the thrill. And for not cutting my bangs to look like Mamie Eisenhower as the Dean wanted. Oh, yeah, like that was ever gonna happen.
It was as ridiculous as this. I'll be they'd get on the young lady's skirt if it was too long, too. Just another way to mess with girls. Not that they didn't mess with the boys, too, but they got super picky with girls. And it was a public school back in the stone ages, the sixties, if anyone was wondering.
Posteritatis
(18,807 posts)dmr
(28,347 posts)We had to kneel, and if our hem was just above the floor, we had to stay after school, & if it was more than an inch (sometimes a half inch, we were at the mercy of whomever held the ruler), we were sent home to change & had to stay after school the following day.
Those were the days of panty girdles & instead of slips, bloomers. When we sat, we couldn't let the clips holding our nylons show (which were attached to our girdles). Of course, this made sense, but it happened anyway.
Then after school & on week-ends, we wore mini-skirts - omg! me now an old lady & thinking about me in a mini skirt, imagine that! woo hoo!
Go figure.
My days were the 60s too, & public school, the same as you.
The girl in the OP's picture, looks very nice to me. I'm pretty much a traditional old lady, & I have to say, I've worn worse & less than this young girl.
shanti
(21,675 posts)i remember those days in the 60's in jr. high. we weren't sent home though. if the skirt was too short, the vp would pin crepe paper to the hem of your skirt and you had to wear it like that for the rest of the day!
RC
(25,592 posts)A half inch? Did they actually measure it? Most people can't read a ruler that close anymore.
elehhhhna
(32,076 posts)I did, my kids would but that the younger attends a private sober hs w/ virually no dresscode and if her shorts are too short (which they are) they make her wear scrubs , which she likes as they are comfy.
Talibanibullshit
Bake
(21,977 posts)I don't see the problem.
Our schools are run by administrators with NO COMMON SENSE WHATSOEVER!
Sigh.
Bake
cali
(114,904 posts)ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)If she's Amish.
provis99
(13,062 posts)unless they are attractive, in which case they want women dressed like this:
freshwest
(53,661 posts)DFab420
(2,466 posts)that?
Uncle Joe
(58,342 posts)she should get rid of the bar.
jp11
(2,104 posts)Toss on a horrible collar and fabric that doesn't breath then she's okay.
For school or a casual work environment that's is fine, the 'rule' often quoted was skirts had to go down to your fingertips. But many people dressed like sex workers or prison inmates signaling they were 'available'.
YellowRubberDuckie
(19,736 posts)And some girls can pull it off with a cardigan and it looks nice.
dmr
(28,347 posts)cuz I'd be wearing a mini skirt. I just stood up to check.
Sigh, I have short arms.
Hell, I'm just short.
jp11
(2,104 posts)HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)She looks like a prude in comparison. Try tanks tops with no bras, short shorts that look like underwear, etc. Actually, STAFF in Florida dressed "sexier" than this girl.
southernyankeebelle
(11,304 posts)What is wrong with the dress?
xmas74
(29,673 posts)spaghetti straps and skirts a wee bit shorter than that to church services and no one blinks an eye.
I'd be thankful if that's what my child wore to school. (Then again, maybe not. I'd probably make a comment about how it's not the best fit for her. The outfit actually makes her look a bit baggy.)
southernyankeebelle
(11,304 posts)xmas74
(29,673 posts)on a regular basis, even after she's allowed to pick out her own outfits on shopping trips. She always picks out nice outfits that complement her frame but then tries to wear the oldest, sloppiest things she owns.
We're at the age where we are working on what looks nice yet is still appropriate to wear in certain situations. The outfit the young woman wore above is appropriate but something's a bit off on the skirt. It's not too short-it's the fit that doesn't complement her. Of course, her principal doesn't care either way. Either way, she still looks better than most of the kids in my child's class.
southernyankeebelle
(11,304 posts)xmas74
(29,673 posts)what was (supposedly) the dress code, yet other comments were made about how there were outfits that were much worse just outside on the school yard.
The outfit itself is fine, IMO. I personally just don't prefer the cut of the skirt. The fabric pattern is all wrong, the cut makes her look bigger than she really is, and the length isn't right for her. (Looking at the picture, she has a similar build to my teen and there's no way she could wear that skirt.)
A coworker dresses modestly due to her religion (she's LDS) and she said that they'd have more problems with the neckline of the blouse instead of the skirt. (I sent her a link to the original blog post here: http://adultonsetatheist.blogspot.com/). She said that the skirt was fine lengthwise and wasn't quite sure what the problem was.
southernyankeebelle
(11,304 posts)XemaSab
(60,212 posts)pushes this outfit in the direction of "Christian modest."
Yeah, the skirt's too short and the top is a tiny bit low for TRULY modest fundie-wear, but seriously? Nobody could look at that outfit and think that the girl was dressed like a tramp.
underseasurveyor
(6,428 posts)Baggy? You may wish to rethink your ideals and prejudices of how women and girls "should" look.
It looks very comfortable and modest.
cstanleytech
(26,280 posts)Last edited Wed May 23, 2012, 08:51 PM - Edit history (2)
It doesnt look anywhere near sluttish unlike what I have seen some people dress their young children for beauty pageants though so I wonder what they found so offensive over it exactly.
cali
(114,904 posts)cstanleytech
(26,280 posts)etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)... that is essentially my hot weather work outfit ... a cotton T-shirt and a cotton skirt that hits below the knees.
I'm 50 and work as a lowly paid professional ... there is nothing wrong with that hot weather outfit
Caretha
(2,737 posts)would be that the dress code for that school, is in Afganhistan?.....Oh hell, let's execute her and her female school mates, they don't need no learnin' no how...they's be the properties of the mens.
Do you need a sarcasm smiley stanley?
DaveJ
(5,023 posts)Principals, Superintendents, Cops, Bosses, all of them, they all got deep psychological issues they can only resolve by trying to control other people's behavior.
I agree completely.
TBF
(32,041 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)Odin2005
(53,521 posts)They are emotionally immature creeps with power issues.
NYC Liberal
(20,135 posts)YellowRubberDuckie
(19,736 posts)At our school it was fingertip length.
NYC Liberal
(20,135 posts)but we did have the strict dress code.
We had to be clean shaven and if we showed up without having shaved, they sent us to the dean's office where you had to buy a razor for $2 and use the bathroom right there to shave. And you got detention.
You had to get a dress code pass if you were missing your belt or tie or jacket, and you also got detention for EACH violation (belt and tie = 2 days detention).
Iterate
(3,020 posts)For another priest the obsession was orange, the color orange. Whenever the topic came up he auto-launched into the same ten minute lecture explaining the path from wearing orange pants to certain damnation. It didn't worry any of us, since no one had ever seen a pair of orange pants let alone worn any, but it did give people the idea that it might someday be fun.
All of the talk about grey to blue dress codes led one of the older students to actually read the code. There was no mention in the code of socks, and within a week 1/3 of us were sockless in our penny-loafers and wing-tips.
It took the priests that long to get it, but when they finally did you'd have thought the Red Army had arrived at the gate. Blue or black, two days Saturday detention, but then the fight carried on as to what constituted a properly ironed shirt.
onehandle
(51,122 posts)Kidding. What idiots.
SoutherDem
(2,307 posts)who were to measure the hemline of the ladies skirts?
Her school must have a much stricter dress code than the schools in my area, now.
wendylaroux
(2,925 posts)walked around with a ruler in his back pocket,best part of his day was using that thing. Creepy little man with bulging eyes.Oh and girls couldn't wear jeans in our school until 1974.
FloridaJudy
(9,465 posts)And sent us home to change if the hems of our skirts didn't touch the floor. The ruler was used to make sure couples observed the proper distance while dancing.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with that outfit, but it wouldn't pass muster in my local school district, since they've passed a "uniform" code. The uniform consists of a solid color polo shirt (color choice yours) and neutral pants or skirt. I'm philosophically opposed to uniforms, but at least ours has the virtue of being affordable, since many stores sell the shirts at 3/$10. Parents in other districts may not be as lucky.
dembotoz
(16,799 posts)TBF
(32,041 posts)notadmblnd
(23,720 posts)that skirt looks like about an half an inch above the knee.
mainstreetonce
(4,178 posts)Are impossible to enforce. I would vote for uniforms for both students and faculty.
Worried senior
(1,328 posts)find to me.
annabanana
(52,791 posts)Is this in America?
Something is very very wrong with that principal...
Rosa Luxemburg
(28,627 posts)like they are dressed for the beach! Cleavage showing, shorty shorts etc
yellerpup
(12,253 posts)Then HuffPost, so it may be small town bigotry for her beliefs or her mother's beliefs (should I be saying disbeliefs?) and have nothing to do with her (perfectly fine) outfit.
YellowRubberDuckie
(19,736 posts)But I didn't think about that.
yellerpup
(12,253 posts)the girl was dressed. What I suggested may not be the reason, but it's not about dress code violations.
LadyHawkAZ
(6,199 posts)I'd be taking that to the school board to make sure the missed day was not reflected in her record. Ridiculous.
ladym55
(2,577 posts)I'm used to seeing short-shorts, teeny tank tops, tight pants, off the shoulder tops ... Honestly this looks like an outfit that could be worn to work on a warm day.
I've seen enough inappropriate attire on young women (and young men ... gotta love those muscle shirts and torn jeans) to be offended that a high school administration would have the time and energy to go after this young woman.
They need to see the skirts that don't quite cover the butt or the pants that reveal a full moon each time the student sits down. Then we'll talk.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)like that. Just like sometimes they have a no-shirt-with-writing-on-it rule, etc.
But teh article says the skirt is a smidgeon too short. Ahhhhh, the old skirt too short rule. Since I went to school in the 50's & 60's, before girls were allowed to wear pants to school, I'm well aware of the length issue. Length issues are taken seriously. If a teacher suspected a girl of wearing a too-short skirt, you had to kneel down, & the skirt had to touch the floor (knee length).
Even if something looks great and isn't slutty, the schools have weird dress codes.
I suspect some teacher has it out for the kid. Or maybe she was unlucky enough for someone in the front office to notice her and not others. I hope she gave the front office people a piece of her mind, though. The amt that the skirt was too short was so minimal that it was ridiculous to pull her out of class and interrupt her learning for that.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)I have ever worked in for the last 25 years. is wrong with these asshats?
DirkGently
(12,151 posts)How Middle-Eastern.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)xchrom
(108,903 posts)Boys could 'see' up their skirts.
And I remember deans with rulers - totally weird.
trackfan
(3,650 posts)When I was in Jr. High, in 19-freaking-71, girls wore skirts WAY shorter than that - I mean, like that one cut in less than half - and there was no uproar.
ZombieHorde
(29,047 posts)La Lioness Priyanka
(53,866 posts)and it still passes as business casual
YellowRubberDuckie
(19,736 posts)...and it's fine for my office. I think it's cute. Those teachers are just nitpicking probably because of their religious beliefs like someone else said up thread. They're atheists in Utah.
La Lioness Priyanka
(53,866 posts)malaise
(268,885 posts)What's provocative about that?
CTyankee
(63,901 posts)"provocative."
How silly this is. I hope you fight this with all you've got!
adigal
(7,581 posts)Low cut shirts, short short short skirts and shorts. We have a dress code, but whenever a student is referred to the administration, they say she is "Fine."
YellowRubberDuckie
(19,736 posts)...if the person breaking the rules is breaking the rules on purpose or if it was an honest mistake.
adigal
(7,581 posts)all of the time. The poor male teachers are looking at cleavage half the day, and they can't say anything or someone will ask why they were noticing! Damned if they do, uncomfortable if they don't.
mopinko
(70,071 posts)the nuns would love this.
monmouth
(21,078 posts)tblue37
(65,290 posts)For very pair that is bought, the TOMS company donates a pair of shoes to a poor kid in another country.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)I have to ask- does this school have cheerleaders? If so, why is it okay for them to wear skirts that are cut halfway up their thighs, but this attire is inappropriate?
BiggJawn
(23,051 posts)If that had been my daughter I'd probably be in jail right now.
Bet the schoolboard is infested with Teabaggers, too.
Mass
(27,315 posts)We DO have some kids who dress inappropriately IMHO and no dress code, but their skirts are about half the length of this girl's. There is nothing inappropriate here.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)WTF is wrong with the school admins???
siligut
(12,272 posts)boppers
(16,588 posts)Dash87
(3,220 posts)and girls used to wear skirts like this all of the time.
Is there more to this story? Is the school dumb? Also, how do they know the exact length of her skirt? Did they measure it?
WHEN CRABS ROAR
(3,813 posts)TheKentuckian
(25,023 posts)NS2012
(74 posts)WCGreen
(45,558 posts)What the hell, do they want her to wear a Burka.
Zanzoobar
(894 posts)That would make it inappropriate.
uberblonde
(1,215 posts)She looks totally wholesome and downright adorable! This is bizarre.
JitterbugPerfume
(18,183 posts)Igel
(35,296 posts)You need to say more context.
Students come in almost daring you to punish them. They try to go right up (and a bit over) the line just to tweak the teachers' noses. It's the Nike shirts redux: "Go hard or go home", "Don't pump make the money shot", "accomplished in all positions", etc. The sexual innuendo is blatant--but it's still innuendo. If you don't nail them, then the meaning is permitted; if you do, then they innocently protest, "What do you mean? What could 'go hard' mean except 'really try'?"
If you don't enforce the rules when they're fairly silly to enforce, then you've basically failed the estoppal test: You've said that something isn't covered by the rules, something that is indistinguishable from something you want covered by the rules. Next time it's harder to enforce the rules to exclude what you want excluded and you're set up for a repeat, one that'll pry open the rules a bit more. So you have to be unreasonable and unreasoned at times. It's annoying for all.
It's not even the intent of the "offender" that matters. It's what others will make of the slight and partial bending of the rules.
We have a "no scruff" policy for guys. That includes facial hair of all sorts, without a doctor's note. I've sent guys to be shaved. And invariably, the guy I'm sending, one who hasn't shaved for a few days, will point to a guy just slightly less scruffy who probably shaved last night. "Why aren't you making *him* get a shave?" Well, if a bit of scruff is okay, why not more? And if not shaving for two days is okay, why not 3? If 3, why not 4?
The worst rule we have is the "no spaghetti strap" rule because it's undefined. What's the maximum width for a spaghetti strap? Does that width have to be for a minimum of 1" or 4"? Or some other length? (Okay, there are worse. "Don't show tattoos." So a girl comes to class with a tattoo on her cheek. What do you do, require a burqa? Send her home on permanent suspension? Put masking tape over the tattoo?)
lonestarnot
(77,097 posts)cstanleytech
(26,280 posts)one possible solution is to use computer technology to age her photo 50 to 60 years to show her and the rest of the class what her face will look like with said tattoo as she ages and it fades.
Odds are it isnt going to be pretty.
Response to Igel (Reply #82)
Warren DeMontague This message was self-deleted by its author.
a la izquierda
(11,791 posts)Remind me not to have kids at your school. My presence at PTA meetings would mortify people.
I attended a summer study abroad program as a grad student, and the very conservative school had a dress code. I had to wear pants and long sleeves all summer to hide my ink. girls weren't supposed to wear shorts, anyway.
Talk about stifling creativity.
snooper2
(30,151 posts)La Lioness Priyanka
(53,866 posts)agreed
OneTenthofOnePercent
(6,268 posts)The only detention I ever got was for not shaving (going on 2-3 days). The pricipal would give me warnings all the time... "Those faces better be clean tomorrow, or I'll be seeing you after school... why can't you be more like your good freind Shawn, here? His face is as smooth as a baby's bottom!" (Shawn would sit there grinning at our admonishment cause Shawn didn't even have to shave, yet).
Well one day the vice principal comes up and hands me a detention slip, single edge bic disposable razor, and a bar of soap. "Clean up before next period and throw the razor away. If you're going to make a habbit of this, I suggest you invest in some shaving cream and keep it in your locker." He was of course referring to the fact that shaving with a bar of soap and shitty razor sucks ass... learned my lesson and came to school clean shaven.
jillan
(39,451 posts)Even her shoes are very conservative.
jmowreader
(50,552 posts)Junior high school girls should not dress like Republicans. And the color is ugly.
YellowRubberDuckie
(19,736 posts)If you're not going to add to a thread with logic and reason, why even post?
JI7
(89,244 posts)daaron
(763 posts)davsand
(13,421 posts)Honestly, I can't imagine a public school district anywhere in the US today with a dress code that conservative.
Having SAID that, however, I will say that if it is in the dress code that skirts have to be longer than the one in the photo then I'm not sure I could argue it with them. (Surely this is not news to the parents by the end of the school year???) The rule might be dumber than a squid, but if it is in the school policies they have a right to enforce it. Yes, I understand that all the cool kids are violating it, but it still is a rule (even IF I think it is complete bullshit.)
My daughter has a locker that is right outside the classroom occupied by the teacher nicknamed "The Clothing Nazi." From day one she knew that her wardrobe had to be in compliance or else that woman was probably gonna give her crap about it. My advice to her at the beginning of the year was to not only READ and memorize the school dress code, but to make a copy of it and keep it in her locker. I told her that if she got busted for wearing anything outside the dress code I'd support the school's decision, but if there was ever any question about her wardrobe when she was in compliance with the dress code I'd go to the mat for her.
Sure enough, one day this last winter, "The Clothing Nazi" starts on my daughter that her jeans were "torn" and not appropriate for school wear. (Now, I gotta admit that I think it is stupid as hell to be paying money for any article of clothing that has holes in it--but it is the fashion, and it is what my daughter chose to spend her money on.) My kid pulls that copy of the dress code out of her locker and promptly reads the pertinent parts to "The Clothing Nazi." The school dress code actually spells out where the tears can be and what can and can't show thru the holes. "The Clothing Nazi" gets pissed that my kid is reading the dress code to her--but she had to admit that the jeans are acceptable according to the dress code. She let her off with a "warning..."
Just like in real life, in any school, there are people out to bust your chops because they can. I figured my kid needed to learn how to deal with it now rather than later on, so that is how I chose to handle it.
YMMV.
Laura
vaberella
(24,634 posts)~sigh~ What a horrid outfit! As far as, inappropriate dress...it's fine and very average for junior high schoolers to wear in this day in age. Very mousy in fact.
Sen. Walter Sobchak
(8,692 posts)rather than dressing for whatever they are doing after work, which is rarely if ever appropriate office attire. Not that men don't also dress like fucking morons, but never so cringe worthy.
I bite my tongue and roll my eyes.
mikeytherat
(6,829 posts)I'd say she's dressed like a missionary.
mikey_the_rat
HiPointDem
(20,729 posts)deutsey
(20,166 posts)Defiantly flashing her bare arms and knees to the world!
OneTenthofOnePercent
(6,268 posts)As they say, rules are rules. The dress code is, I'm sure, public knowledge to the parents and students. Personally, I prefer strict dress codes in schools (slacks & collered shirts for guys and skirts/pants and blouses for girls - no jeans or t-shirts).
I went to a private school and we had a pretty tight dress code. Makes dressing for school easier and alleviates alot of teenage drama invoved in staying up with fashion trends. I was pretty good about it in school and stayed out of trouble. In fact, the only detention I ever received was for not shaving... I had about a 2 day stubble and the vice-priciple handed me a bar of soap, disposable single blade bic razor, and a detention slip. I think lathering with bar soap and the single blade razor was a bigger punishment than detention - lol!
underseasurveyor
(6,428 posts)Anyone that thinks or implies otherwise needs intensive therapy and should stay away from young children and teens.
Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,500 posts)in Afghanistan.
GoCubsGo
(32,078 posts)Good Gawd, people are so ridiculous! Must be someone who had bad experiences with nuns making her kneel down to make sure her uniform skirt touched the ground.
All I can say is that if I was out to attract my male junior high school classmates, that is NOT the kind of outfit I would wear. It's downright frumpy.
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)Very inappropriate... in Victorian England; yet in the here and now it seems a most modest outfit.
Give credit to our Victorian Prudes, their enablers, and finally, to their apologists for yet another delightfully absurd step backwards
lunatica
(53,410 posts)If she didn't have a bra on you'd be able to see her nipples, and if she didn't have a belt on you might figure out where her belly button is, and if she didn't have sleeves you might get a peak of her bra, or maybe something much much worse. And you can see her knees, her calves, her feet and most of her arms.
What kind of a mother are you to allow you daughter to wear that stuff?!
YellowRubberDuckie
(19,736 posts)I just posted the article because I thought it was crazy and GD would love it.
Looks like I was right.