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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsActual Analogies Used By High School Students in English Essays. Bwahahahaha.....
Actual Analogies Used By High School Students in English Essays.
1. When she tried to sing, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment.
2. Her eyes twinkled, like the moustache of a man with a cold.
3. She was like a magnet: Attractive from the back, repulsive from the front.
4. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
5. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
6. She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet.
7. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
8. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
9. Her eyes were like the stars, not because they twinkle, but because they were so far apart.
10. His career was blowing up like a man with a broken metal detector walking through an active minefield.
11. The sun was below the watery horizon, like a diabetic grandma easing into a warm salt bath.
12. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes at a 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.
13. It was as easy as taking candy from a diabetic man who no longer wishes to eat candy.
14. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.
15. Their love burned with the fiery intensity of a urinary tract infection.
16. It's basically an illusion and no different than if I were to imagine something else, like Batman riding a flying toaster.
17. If it was any colder, it would be like being in a place that's a little colder than it is here.
18. Joy fills her heart like a silent but deadly fart fills a room with no windows.
19. The bird flew gracefully into the air like a man stepping on a landmine in zero gravity.
20. He felt confused. As confused as a homeless man on house arrest.
21. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
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****snort****
randys1
(16,286 posts)snooper2
(30,151 posts)over/under? 9 posts till offended come?
roguevalley
(40,656 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)Reminded me a lot of Matt Taibbi's wonderful "Watching Tim Tebow trying to throw a forward pass is like watching a moose try to fuck a washing machine."
IDemo
(16,926 posts)Xyzse
(8,217 posts)I don't know why #3 had me rolling.
Motown_Johnny
(22,308 posts)I think we have all been there.
Initech
(100,060 posts)I could totally picture Leslie Nielsen using that line as Frank Drebin in the Naked Gun flicks!
malaise
(268,885 posts)Those are fall down funny
B2G
(9,766 posts)12. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes at a 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.
LMAO!
Binkie The Clown
(7,911 posts)KamaAina
(78,249 posts)What teacher would assign his/her students an essay about Celine Dion?
Ron Obvious
(6,261 posts)... like a dog at a fire hydrant!
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)but a deadly fart???? Male student wrote that...fart jokes work with boys, not with girls...I learned that on South Park.
Contrary1
(12,629 posts)If it was any colder, it would be like being in a place that's a little colder than it is here.
DavidDvorkin
(19,473 posts)conducted some years ago in which the point was to come up with absurd, strained, but funny and clever analogies.
Chitown Kev
(2,197 posts)Ghost in the Machine
(14,912 posts)I used to tell people that I took my first wife with me everywhere I went... because she was too ugly to kiss goodbye!
Peace,
Ghost
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)They kind of vaguely remind me of "Deep Thoughts" in their absurdity.
mike dub
(541 posts)And bookmarking for any time I'm feeling blue.
Thanks, grits!!!!