Loss of Keystone Leaves U.S. With No Place to Store Grain —Solution by Ben Carson told by Borowitz

[Mira]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Presidential candidate Ben Carson has issued a dire warning that President Obama’s cancellation of the Keystone Pipeline has left the United States with “virtually no place to store grain.”

Without the massive pipeline, Carson told Fox News, the nation’s network of silos is woefully inadequate “to store the bounty of grain that we soweth.”

Carson said that as President, he would seek additional places to store grain, such as “the hollowed-out heads on Mt. Rushmore.”
“A nation’s greatness is measured by its ability to store grain,” he said. “I will return America to its former greatness.”



www.Borowitzreport.com

[livetohike]

1. Laughing so hard that I'm crying! Thanks for posting this.

[Quackers]

2. I thought he would suggest using the pyramids... nt

[leftofcool]

5. Don't we have some pyramids in the Arizona desert?

One would think there should be one or two among all those tumbleweeds out there. Good grain storage places.

[underpants]

7. The Luxor hotel in Vegas

[longship]

6. No, you have wrong.

Carson will build 21st Century pyramids to store grain. And they would make Giza look like miniatures. After all, Joseph did it thousands of years ago.

Ben Carson, a president for our time, either that or milleniums ago. You choose.

[Quackers]

8. 21st century pyramids..... Kind of like these?

[longship]

9. Well, my 21st century pyramids don't have rocket engines.

But if one wants to settle on Mars and one wants wheat to eat, I imagine that is one way to do it. Too bad Andy Weir did not realize that. Mark Watney wouldn't have had to eat all those horrible potatoes.

[liberal N proud]

3. Another one that when read sounds so possible

[Renew Deal]

4. That's funny