Is Facebook destroying meaningful conversation?

[kentuck]

[randome]

1. dNDBDDBmcdkvndjvndnJ

DFNFINVDFUDbububunibubvinobuygytftNnbbBUBububNInmfoING J NIDNCVDNCVDKDI

Dude.

[Life Long Dem]

2. What is facebook?

[msongs]

3. were you going to communicate w/FB friends in some other way instead and chose to use FB?

if FB is just a posting board to people with whom you were NOT going to communicate otherwise, it is not destroying anything. If one was reducing effective communication with a friend, it is detrimental

[kentuck]

4. It's a cartoon.

[Broderick]

5. like

[MineralMan]

6. Hide.

Unsubscribe.

[Voice for Peace]

15. alert

not

[EFerrari]

7. .

[MineralMan]

8. Not really. It depends on how you use it.

Right now, for example, my sister and her husband are on a cross-country trip in a Smart for Two, pulling a small luggage trailer. At some point, they're going to stop by our place in St. Paul for a couple of days, but they're not really on a schedule. They're posting updates on where they are, with photos of stuff they are seeing, so we can follow their trip. They don't even have to tell us when they'll be here...we'll know already.

My sister isn't bashful about using words, either, so I'm reading long Facebook messages from her every day.

It seems like most of the people on my friend's list write substantial things there.

Like.

[kentuck]

9. I actually got this cartoon off Facebook...

...that a friend had posted.

[MineralMan]

10. I figured. There's lots on Facebook that I just skip, of course.

It is as you use it.

[Control-Z]

25. I will argue

that young people can become socially/conversationally inept. I'm witnessing it in my life.

When you can't get a word in edgewise because the people present are so consumed by, and immersed in social media/texting/facebook/chatting (though it appears that instant messaging has become a thing of the past for young people), there is a problem.

All three of my children will choose written over verbal communication 99% of the time. When they do verbalize, whatever it is about, it is rushed, brief, inaccurate, poorly conveyed and even resentful at times. I usually have to dig for the pertinent information I am looking for. It is as if they no longer know how, or even care to speak effectively.

It appears as if, by refusing to interact in the moment, they can take the time to contemplate a witty answer (to everything).

[kentuck]

26. Interesting..

My nephews and nieces prefer texting to talking almost always.

[MineralMan]

30. I can see where that would be of concern.

Not being a parent, and at 66, not planning to be one, I'm afraid I have no advice to offer for this, but it seems as though you need to insist that they get comfortable with verbal communication on a face-to-face basis. It will be essential for them in their lives.

[riderinthestorm]

32. Are they tweens or teens?

"All three of my children will choose written over verbal communication 99% of the time. When they do verbalize, whatever it is about, it is rushed, brief, inaccurate, poorly conveyed and even resentful at times. I usually have to dig for the pertinent information I am looking for. It is as if they no longer know how, or even care to speak effectively. "

THAT sounds just like a tween or teen (I have a 15 and a 24 year old). If it helps any, they do grow out of it!

That said, there's no texting at the table in my house, by anybody including their tween/teen guests. They MUST sit and have a conversation. Sometimes its incredibly painful but its always a convo and not a text-fest. Since we eat at least one meal together/day, they get a chance to practice. I also won't let them text while they do homework. Oh sure, they sneak it but they know they'll lose their phone/computer for 24 hours if I catch them at it.

Also if we go visit grandma or grandpa (Aunts or Uncles or hospital visit etc), there's no texting while visiting them either or they lose their phone then too. Its rude so it's not allowed.

It does take practice but they do get better....

[Control-Z]

37. Lol. I'm sorry but

I've tried everything you've suggested and I'm afraid it's out of my hands. They've all graduated HS at this point.

The 26 YO is the worst of the bunch. She started the behavior once she had already left home. I say something now and then but she hasn't lost the ability, she just doesn't use it.

The other two, well one is my 21 YO man-child who attended school for the learning disabled for 4 years to gain the courage to even try to write. (Severe dyslexia) I will never discourage him from writing, or reading, though I insist on the best possible conversation when we are speaking.

The youngest just finished her first year in college. She lives at home and I'm on her all the time about it. She's just 18 and quite the gifted writer. It is when I read one of her papers that the contrast in her ability to communicate verbally is the most glaring. And, of course I point it out, every time, at the risk of alienating her.

The one thing they have learned from me, at least, is to use full sentences with correctly spelled words when they text, which is a good thing.

I believe this whole thing may be a bigger problem then a lot of people think and it will be to the detriment of "generation text" should they choose to ignore social skills. I also think that soon enough they'll figure out talking is more efficient than writing on a day to day, moment to moment, basis and some will find they need to catch up to both the generations before and after theirs.

[Ilsa]

11. I emailed an old friend to ask her how she was doing.

Her reply was a one-liner inviting me to join her on Facebook. I tried, but after a month I blew it off. The system was trying link me to strangers that are friends and relatives of people I email. Screw that. Facebook is impersonal communication, IMO. Yeah, you can put really personal stuff out there, but it wont be intimate.

[jp11]

17. Intimacy matters.

I like having meaningful interactions with people, specifically one or two at a time not 'blasting' out information to a bunch of them. Whether or not they are all my 'friends' or people that might be interested in that information. I like to choose who knows this or that and whatnot.

I also like to know who actually cares to be a part of my life and listen/communicate with me. What amounts to clicking 'subscribe' isn't what I'd call a really good friend or someone I want to be included in my life.

Having said that some people really like it and it 'works' for them so I don't really care if they want to use it. I do take issue when people you know and care about choose to use it almost exclusively over other forms of communication. We all have our preferences for communication but if yours forces me to where I don't want to go/be then we have issues that however is nothing new.

I prefer text messages to phone calls for simple information and emails for longer ones but a phone call is superior to all when there is more to be said or something big comes up and you can't meetup. I think those are all fine, a range of ways to communicate that take in account the varying degrees of time a person might have. For those people with hundreds of friends/contacts it probably won't work to have dozens of phone calls about the same thing. I'm also probably not one of the people who fits as your friend though, you simply won't have the time to have a meaningful relationship with me or most of those in your gaggle of contacts.

[Ilsa]

34. I agree w/ you Completely. nt

[YellowRubberDuckie]

12. Not at all. It keeps me in touch with family and friends.

I get to keep up with a ton of people. Without it I would have missed something very fun and important yesterday.

[Webster Green]

13. I love Facebook.

Last edited Sun May 27, 2012, 04:54 PM - Edit history (1)

I thought social networking sites were lame until the so called "Arab Spring". At that point I decided they were pretty cool. I signed up to FB & Twitter, and I love them both.

I got an invite to a FB group of concert production people. Mostly old roadies telling war stories and posting pics. I've re-connected with friends I hadn't seen or heard from in over 30 years. I have found pictures posted of myself working at shows, riding on the tour bus, and kicking back in hotels. I had never seen these pics before, and now, many years later they are really great to have. Lots of wild times and great memories brought back in old photos and stories. Love it!

*edit for spelling

[Edweird]

14. No more (IMHO) than text messages.

[cherokeeprogressive]

16. Nnnnnnope.

[Speck Tater]

18. Meaningful conversation died long before Facebook.

Facebook is more a symptom than a cause.

E.M. Forster wrote about the problem in 1909. His story "The Machine Stops" was adapted for TV by BBC in 1966. It's amazing to see the social implications of the Internet being discussed in 1909, and shown in a TV drama in 1966.

As some obviously mentally ill citizen says in the movie, "I want to see you, but not through the machine." Clearly there's something wrong with a person that wants to meet another person face to face. What good can come of that?

Watch the movie here: (50 minutes) http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2072180223855159236

[Scootaloo]

19. From the people that brought you...

Complaints about the decline of cursive writing
The rise of "that's not music, that's noise!"
Concerns that this newfangled telephone would end letter-writing and thus kill 'real' communication
Angst over the lack of hates in modern society
And their greatest hit, "YALL KIDS GET OFFA MAH LAWN!"

[Posteritatis]

20. "This new thing will be the end of all civilization!"

It's not quite as hysterical as the hatefest that DU developed for Twitter back in '08, but then again you couldn't really approach that without bombing the moon again.

[annabanana]

21. Pfft... TELEVISION killed meaningful conversation.

Us old folks remember. And our parents knew that RADIO killed meaningful conversation. And their parents knew that the TELEPHONE killed meaningful conversation.

[Posteritatis]

22. Friggin' cuneiform, man. How far we have fallen. (nt)

[Fire Walk With Me]

35. Yeah, I blame the advent of runes.

[randome]

31. But radio DID kill meaningful conversation.

And all those things afterwards just killed it gooder.

[CJCRANE]

23. I think it's terrible, people spend all their time posting little comments on the internet...

oh, waitaminute...

[Bluenorthwest]

24. FB is for people with whom I don't want a meaningful conversation

Either at all or at that time. It works great as a sort of cyber gate keeper.

[SheilaT]

27. Well, this old person (63) finds Facebook to be

of limited usefulness. Both of those word are important, limited and useful.

It's useful when I haven't talked to either of my young adult sons in a while, and I can get a sense of what they might be up to. But limited in that I personally almost never post anything at all, and I'm crazed by all the random comments that so many seem to think need to be posted so frequently. I maybe take a look at FB a couple of times a week. If others want to live their lives on FB, so be it.

I do want to point out that the initial concept made a whole lot of sense for college students, and in many important ways those who are running FB have at least so far, not moved beyond a college mentality/way of looking at things. Adults out in the real world are appropriately wary of putting things there that younger kids think nothing of, and which all too often come back to haunt them.

In my youth I certainly did things that I would not want the whole world to know about years later, and because I did them long before the internet, there's not stuff out there to shadow me forever.

[HopeHoops]

28. Hang on. I'll answer after I post this kitteh picture I found on my wall.

[rug]

29. IDK

KBAICUL8R

[Fumesucker]

33. Television already did that decades and decades ago.. n/t

[XemaSab]

36. Not at all, no

Yesterday I spent the day birding with some friends that I met on Facebook. We had a great time, saw some great birds, and had some good conversation about all manner of topics.

[Rincewind]

38. OMG. LOL. YMMV

[Sea-Dog]

39. irony

[Initech]

40. Aziz Ansari had a bit one time:

He was trying to pick up a woman at a bar. The woman was like "Why don't you friend me on Facebook?" And he responded "Yo! My face is right here!!"