I'm afraid we've come to view Memorial Day as a well-deserved holiday from work and the everyday worries and mundane tasks of making it through the week. A day to picnic with friends and family, lift a few cold ones, play a pick-up game of softball or hit the links...perhaps an extra day to get caught up with yard work or sprucing up the house.
It wasn't always this way. It used to be a big deal with flags flapping from every porch or pole. Family members often stood along the curb to wave their little flags and cheer on the parade of children on bikes and wagons decorated with red/white and blue crepe paper or gather at cemeteries to hear the VFW or American Legion members read off the roster of local men and women who had served and sacrificed their future for our freedom. Some local or state wannabe senator or representative would give a speech about how we had to end these wars and not add to the number of wounded or dead vets in the future. "Yessiree!"
After the bloviating politicians were done, people mingled around the cemetery; nodding to and acknowledging their neighbors and family members as they decorated the graves and quietly whispered to the dead how much they missed them and hoped they were OK...wherever they were.
Once the tears were wiped away, people would grab a picnic table at the park or go to grandma's to partake of a picnic lunch or crank the handle of an ice cream churn. Fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, deviled eggs and an array of desserts would come out of hiding in hampers only to be zeroed in on by the buzzing flies (until someone was commissioned to serve as official fly swatter).
If the grass was mowed, the croquet set would magically appear or the bats and balls were put into action. It was fun and it was a highlight of the year. Somehow, you felt like you were spending the day with those who had gone on before us, whether from old age, illness or the wars...those nasty wars.
It is one thing to lose a loved one to war, go to the funeral, offer to help the family with the ever present, "just let us know if you need anything" type of offering. But it's another thing to set aside one day out of the year to stand over the graves and remember. Are we so busy we can't even afford to give them an hour or two each year after they've given the ultimate?
If you can't make the effort to look for the grave(s) and honor them in person, at least drive through the cemetery, look at the individual flags waving by the graves of our veterans...the beautiful flowers and the regal flags waving along the lanes/drives. You'll be glad you did. They are waiting for you and the day is young.
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