I visited Dad today...
It's been a year and half or so since he died. It hasn't been easy. I miss him.
He died because of Agent Orange. It ravaged his body the latter part of his years and left him skin and bones - as he lost considerable amount of weight and struggled keeping food down. His death was painful. He ached. He had nightmares. He had an infection somewhere in his body and the doctors couldn't ever really pinpoint the cause. He suffered from PTSD, which resulted in violent episodes, and memory loss due to his brain atrophy because of Agent Orange.
Finally, one day, his body just couldn't take it anymore. He slipped away, fell into a deep sleep, and never awoke again. In November, 2010, Dad passed on, free of pain - free of the hell Vietnam jailed him in all these years.
My hope is that he's now in heaven, relaxed, watching his wrestling and Green Bay Packers and just enjoying life in the carefree manner I remember so well before Vietnam finally caught up to him decades after he left her jungles.
So, on this Memorial Day, I think we should not only remember those who died serving their country, but those who died years later, decades later, a generation later, because of the scars and wounds and disorders inflicted on them so many years ago.
Dad didn't die in Vietnam. He brought that war home with him, though, and it eventually caught up to him. And I know he's not the only one. I know there are thousands of veterans out there, men who have families like my own, who are battling the same problems, the cancer fears, the nightmares, the memory loss, the nerve damage, that my dad battled the last 15 or so years of his life. To them, to their families, I say God Bless You because it is isn't easy watching someone you love waste away to nothing before eventually departing God's Green Earth.
My dad had just turned 58 when he died. He was supposed to have so much time ahead of him. My mom and him had planned so many adventures - buying an RV and traveling across the country, finally visiting the Vietnam War Memorial that he so wanted to see before he died. It wasn't meant to be, though. He didn't even make 60. And now my mom is a widow, left asking 'why' and the hardest, most damning thing about it, no one can answer her. No one can explain why she had to watch her husband of almost 30 years die a slow and painful death decades after supposedly returning home from Vietnam safely. No one can explain what it was for. The answers are too few and yet, the questions too many.
But we continue, in Dad's honor. Hoping that, a few decades from now, another veteran, another family, doesn't have to go through the heartache we've endured, that they're not left asking questions that can't be answered - that some boy's father will live to see 60 and then can travel with his wife of 30 years across this great country. Because don't they deserve that? After all they gave? Didn't Dad deserve better?
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He knows. 
physically we may never know the extent. War Sucks. Period. And now we're creating a whole new batch of veterans who will have the same torments.
I imagine your daddy and mom are very proud of you; I am. I hope your mom gets to see this.
A son who could write such a wonderful tribute to his dad has to be special. I'm so very sorry for your painful loss. Take good care of your mother.
to both your dad and all of the other Vets who make it back, yet not whole by any means.
It touched my family as well. One uncle is in his late 60s, MP in VietNam, he is doing ok but did have some weird disease that nearly killed him a few decades ago. I was young & don't remember much except for visiting him in the hospital - it was something that he had brought back from VietNam (I believe Malaria but that could be wrong). He is in the best shape. Another uncle had PTSD and turned to alcohol. He literally died under a bridge (homeless) several years ago.
My dad is very much like your case. He enlisted early (mid 60s) as they were carrying the first de-foliants over to the area. He has a very severe case of arthritis caused by his exposure to a chemical (not agent orange - it was a few years before that). It is detailed in his military records and he retired with a disability pension after 15 years in his factory job so they could start doing operations (he now has pins in most of his fingers to replace the joints). His is just the physical disease/disfigurement - he did not serve in actual combat but rather handled all the materials while working in the boiler room of a naval ship. He did have a heart attack a few years ago, but he has long outlived the initial predictions that he would die before 50. He served in some experimental trials decades ago when Methotrexate was first used on arthritis patients and that is likely what prolonged his life. He will turn 67 this fall.
I am really sorry for your losses because I know it isn't simply his death - it's those years of sitting in hospital waiting rooms, enduring mood swings through new medications, watching someone you love suffer ridiculous pain while idiots who never serve continue to send more young boys to the same fate. And I will likely be you in a few years - visiting his grave with all the same emotions.
Take care.
Your Dad would be very proud. My Dad passed away almost 10 years earlier, 11/30/90, at about the same age. I still miss him every day.
