On my Brother-in-Law's Passing ...

[NanceGreggs]

As some of you know, DUer Desert Flower is my sister.

We had a long conversation this evening, and she has been overwhelmed, and is truly grateful, for the incredible outpouring of love and condolences from her fellow posters on this board.

My brother-in-law, John, was one of those once-in-a-lifetime people some of us are lucky enough to get to know. When our grandmother was in her last months, embarrassed by being bedridden and unable to do for herself, John spent his nights watching her favourite TV shows with her. “Don’t be silly, Grandma,” he would say when she expressed her humiliation at being so helpless. “I’m happy to do for you.” And he was.

When my mother realized she was slipping slowly into dementia, unable to remember people, places, things – John did her shopping for her, and spent hours with her when he dropped off her groceries. “I know he’s heard my same-old stories a million times,” Mom said. “But he always pretends he’s hearing them for the first time, and laughs with me when I tell them.”

John was welcomed into our family almost forty-two years ago. He was smart and witty – and brought more laughter into our lives than any family truly deserves. His one-liners at family events quickly became legendary.

John was a successful businessman, having earned the respect of every co-worker he’d ever known. He was also a painter and a stained-glass artisan; his creative spirit amply demonstrated in his many works.

My sister has always been my role model. She is the strongest woman I have ever known. Her life has not been as easy as some might imagine – she has met challenges, and dealt with them; challenges that most of us (gratefully) have never had to face. And she has done so with grace and style.

I don’t know when Desert Flower will be posting here again. I can only tell you that your condolences, good wishes, sympathies and prayers have been taken to heart, and she thanks each and every one of you for your kindness in her time of loss. She expressed her gratitude over and over tonight for all of you who held her, and John, in their thoughts and prayers throughout.

It is said that when you make someone laugh, you add years to their life. If that is so, John added so many years to my own life, I will probably live forever.

Thanks to all of you who have been so kind to my sister. Your thoughtfulness is truly cherished, and will never be forgotten by her, or our family.

--- Nance

[malaise]

1. Deepest sympathy to the entire family

Nice to see you NanceGreggs - even on such a sad occasion. Say hello to Jeff for me.

[mrs_p]

2. Condolences to you, sister, and family

He sounds like a rare gem, and I am so sorry for your loss.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. Thank you, my dear Nance...

for this beautiful, heartfelt post.



John will live in our hearts because of your eloquence tonight...

[KT2000]

4. thank you for this

I am sorry for your loss.

[seabeyond]

5. what a beautiful tribute to John. thank you for sharing him with us.

and loving comfort for you all in this sad time.

thank you for sharing.

[rurallib]

6. Thanks for letting get to know a wonderful man just a little

Here is hoping his memory will always bring a smile.

[freshwest]

7. +1 and hugs.

[LiberalAndProud]

8. What a lovely man, and so he will always be remembered.

Sending much love to both you and Desert Flower in this very difficult time. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[Skittles]

9. very telling

a good person never mentions they've heard the same story from someone over and over - they realize how much the memory means to that person and how much they love telling the story - so they listen always like it is the first time they've heard it. Yes.

[pacalo]

13. That is so true, Skittles.

[Ishoutandscream2]

17. + infinity. My grandpa would tell me the same story over and over

And I would smile, laugh, etc. Grandpa is gone now, and I would give anything to hear the same stories again.

[Skittles]

21. you're a good person

[wellstone dem]

10. Thank you for posting this

John reminds me of my brother-in-law Pat. My sister went out with him for years before she married him. People asked me why they weren't married and I truthfully responded, "It's too late, he is already one of the family." A generous man, like John, I can easily understand the loss of this good man. May he rest in peace and may we all learn from his kind spirit.

[pacalo]

11. Nance...

Thanks for your beautiful words of appreciation & for letting us know how special John was. I didn't know Desert Flower was your sister! It's comforting to know that she has someone as strong & wonderful as you to help her through her heartbreak.

We all miss you terribly!

[progressoid]

12. Thank you Nance

We are a family here (even if dysfunctional at times). When one grieves, we all grieve.

[Frustratedlady]

14. Beautiful post.

May the touching memories bring each of you peace.

[Peacetrain]

15. Our hearts are with you

Nancy I am so sorry to read about the passing of your brother in law.. please pass to Desert Flower our deepest condolences.. Emily and John (The Peacetrains)

[GoneOffShore]

16. Thank you Nance and my sympathy to you and yours.

[Marrah_G]

18. I didn't know you two were related

It's good to know she will have family to lean on during the difficult coming days. I'm sorry to hear of your family's loss.

[NRaleighLiberal]

19. Your generous words and feelings enhance all of our lives. Just lovely...thanks.

Out of the sadness of loss emerges lessons for us all.

[panader0]

20. Deepest sympathies..........

[spanone]

22. k&r...

[TBF]

23. I'm really sorry for your family's loss -

you all continue to be in my thoughts.

[riderinthestorm]

24. What a tribute - your love for him just shines through

I hope you have found some comfort together with your sister. I am so sorry for your loss

[bluesbassman]

25. Thank you Nance for sharing that poignant tribute to John and your sister.

Death of a loved one is never easy, and someone as special as John makes it even more difficult. He left behind a great legacy though, the love and admiration of his family and friends.

Peace and comfort to you, Desert Flower, and the rest of your family.

[WillyT]

26. Thank You Nance...

Peace...

[Smilo]

28. x2

[grantcart]

27. Clearly a tremendous loss. I hope that in remembering John your family

will be brought closer together.

[Ken Burch]

29. My deepest sympathies for both your sister and yourself.

Was unaware of your brother's passing(I work out of town every other week and must have missed the announcement thread, if there was one) and can only hope that whatever form of suffering ended his life was, at least, as brief as possible.

We've often sparred, you and I, but please know that your family is in my thoughts on the hearing of this news.

[JitterbugPerfume]

30. what a wonderful gift he was to your family

[shireen]

31. i'm so sorry to hear about your loss

My deepest condolences to you and your family, Nance. That's a devastating loss. He sounds like he was a truly remarkable man.

[ProfessionalLeftist]

32. Thank you Nance

I'm really glad she has you to lean on. We'll be here when/if she's ready to return. Family first.

[akbacchus_BC]

33. Dear Nance, so sorry to hear about

your brother-in-law. Please accept my condoences to you and the family.

I miss you on here.

Best regards.

[DesertFlower]

34. thank you nance.

i hope john is reading these wonderful tributes where ever he is.

love you sis.

[renate]

35. thank you for telling us about him

The world is a better place for his having been here.

[pinto]

36. ...

[barb162]

37. That was just beautiful and heartfelt

I am sure you, Desert Flower and John's families are beyond grateful for your very lovely words about this wonderful, caring man.

[donheld]

38. Thank you Nance.

I'm so sorry for this loss.

It's so hard to know what to say at a time like this.

[rufus dog]

39. Great tribute Nance

My condolences to your sister and you. Hopefully you are close (in distance) to your sister. If I recall she is a resident of Tucson, so even if it a bit of a distance, Tucson is a gorgeous place to spend an early summer to honor her husband and your BIL.

Best wishes.

[Tarheel_Dem]

40. Oh Nance, my sincerest condolonces to you & Desert Flower. John sounds like a real gem.

[Beaverhausen]

41. Thank you for sharing that.

Sincere condolences to your family on your loss.

[Ruby the Liberal]

42. My sympathies to your family Nance.

Did not know you were sisters.

May this week and the coming weeks bring comfort.

[FourScore]

43. There are no words...

[LibDemAlways]

44. What a beautiful tribute to your brother-in-law. What a kind,

compassionate soul he was and what a tragic loss for your sister and your entire family.

Sincere condolences to you all.

On a personal note, it truly warms my heart to read a story of a brother-in-law who was so warmly welcomed into a family and became a cherished member. The world would be a better place if all families were as close-knit and loving as yours.

[Major Hogwash]

46. John sounds like a great guy, Nance.

They're not gone as long as we remember them.
My condolences to you, Desert Flower, and to the whole family.
I'm really sad to hear this.
It sounds like it happened from out of the blue, as if it wasn't expected.

[IndyJones]

47. He sounds like he was such a wonderful man. Prayers for your sister and the whole family.

I am truly sorry for your loss.

[lamp_shade]

48. A beautiful tribute, Nance. Rest in peace, John.

[JNelson6563]

49. Very nice.

And classy of you to post this Nance. A beautiful post, John sounds a great deal like my dad. We are always richer for having a dear soul like that in our lives, no matter for how long.

Of course no surprise that DesertFlower was married to a stellar guy.

Hugs to you and please give my best to Jeff. Peace to you and yours through this time of loss.

Hugs,
Julie

[Diclotican]

50. NanceGreggs

NanceGreggs

I hope you and your sister have comfort i this tragic times, and you have my condolences

I am sorry for your loss - but I do hope you have good memories to share with your sister and the rest of the family. As long as he is remembered he is not lost - he is still there with you..

Diclotican

[Hissyspit]

51. Deep condolences to you and Desert Flower.

[cate94]

52. So sorry

to hear of your brother in laws passing. He sounds like a wonderful man.
My thoughts are with you and Desert Flower at this difficult time.

[sellitman]

53. Condolences to the family

And hugs too!

[meti57b]

54. My deepest sympathy and thoughts are with you

May his memory be for a blessing.

[Highway61]

55. Thank you for the beautiful post

My condolences to you and the family.

[The Wizard]

56. When someone who makes us laugh passes

the world sighs in sadness.

[mithnanthy]

57. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear brother-in-law/friend.

He sounds like a wonderful person and was lucky to have you as his sister-in-law. Our condolences to your dear sister. Luv you, Nancy

[a kennedy]

58. This just moved me to tears......

[secondwind]

59. Peace and love to your sister and you, your family and friends. You are a very special family.

[WilliamPitt]

60. (((hug)))

[Skinner]

61. I am so sorry.

Condolences to you and to Desert Flower.

[SunsetDreams]

62. What a beautiful tribute

My heart goes out to you, your sister, and the rest of your family. John sounds like he was an amazing guy.
Thank you for sharing that

[catbyte]

63. Please pass on my condolences to your family, Nance

My beloved husband of 28 years is dying and even though I know it's coming, it's something you just can't prepare yourself for. Please give Desert Flower a hug for me and know that your friends at DU are thinking of you, your sister, and your whole family.

An Ojibwa Blessing

May you walk in beauty, and may your eyes ever
behold the red and purple sunsets.
May your hands respect the things the Great Spirit has made,
and may your ears be sharp so you may hear the Great Spirit’s voice.
May you be wise,
so that you may understand what the Great Spirit has taught your people and
the lessons the Great Spirit has hidden in each leaf
and each rock.
May you ask for wisdom and strength,
not to be superior to your brothers and sisters, but to be able
to fight your greatest enemy, yourself.
May you be ever ready to come before the Great Spirit with
clean hands and a straight eye,
so as life fades away as a fading sunset,
your soul may come to the Great Spirit without shame.

-adapted from an Ojibwa prayer, Author Unknown

Diane
Anishinaabe in MI & mom to Leo, Sophie, Taz & Nigel, members of Dogs Against Romney, Cat Division
"Mitt Is Mean--HISS!”

[beac]

64. I find myself at a loss for words.

Your beautiful ones paint such a vivid picture of a wonderful man. My condolences to you, Desert Flower and your family.

[csziggy]

65. John was a wonderful man - condolences to your family

Few men are as giving as he was. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of his generous personality.

[Jack Rabbit]

66. ()

[Spazito]

67. A beautiful tribute to John..

[MADem]

68. What a wonderful eulogy. He must have been a swell guy; you captured his essence beautifully.

I hope you all can get through this by leaning on one another and remembering the good times. It's never easy--I've been to too many funerals myself, lately so I can relate quite freshly to the range of emotions.

Condolences to your entire family.

[Oldtimeralso]

69. Nance,

Thank You for sharing this tribute with us, as with many here we always appreciate your elegant style of prose. This is a very heart felt post and means a lot to me as my family is mostly gone and the only sister I have has told me that I cannot talk politics in her presence. So I have not seen her since February and may not for a long time. If I were to die before the election I sincerely don't know if she would come to my funeral.

It sounds like John was a great person. Desert Flowers had a gift here and will in the afterlife. You are a great person for this post and the many others you have shared. Desert Flower, you, Jeff and all of your extended family please share my sincerest condolences.

John sounded like he was a great person to have in the family please remember the good times and especially the one liners.

[NC_Nurse]

70. Thank you for this update. I know we all want to give your whole family

condolences and support during this sad time. John sounds like a wonderful man and I know you will all miss him very much. Take care of yourselves. I look forward to seeing Desert Flower on DU again whenever she is ready. Hugs to you both.

[nofurylike]

71. precious

this is so beautiful of you

NanceGreggs





Desert Flower

[hlthe2b]

72. That is a beautiful tribute, Nance.... Truly beautiful.

I'm rather choked up right now, reading it. But please do give Desert Flower my best. to you as well.

[liberaltrucker]

73. Beautiful tribute, Nance

Your family, and humanity, has lost a truly wonderful man.

My heartfelt condolences to Desert Flower and your entire
family in your time of mourning.

[robinlynne]

74. What a beautiful letter. You makae me want to be a better perosn, more like John and to be graceful

and strong like Desert Flower.
much love to all of you, and thanks.

[great white snark]

75. My heart felt condolences.

Your family is in my thoughts tonight NanceGreggs.

[glinda]

76. Thank you Nance for putting a "face" on his passing.

Sometimes we forget that us DUers are people with intricate lives. We all suffer sometimes. We all laugh sometimes. But it is so kind to share this with us.

[nadinbrzezinski]

77. My condolensces to you and yours

and your brother in law does sound like one in a lifetime person. If there is a heaven... (agnostic from hell here), he is there now.

[MissDeeds]

78. A beautiful tribute to a very special man

You have honored him by your kind and loving tribute, Nance. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

MissDeeds

[lillypaddle]

79. peace be to you all

and thankfully, you have wonderful family to gain strenght from

[Raine]

80. THANK YOU for sharing memories with us on the loss

of such a special person.