More Baby Boomers Facing Old Age Alone

[jtuck004]

Last edited Tue May 29, 2012, 11:46 AM - Edit history (1)

more here...

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"The shift in marital composition of the middle-aged suggests that researchers and policymakers can no longer focus on widowhood in later life and should pay attention to the vulnerabilities of the never-married and divorced as well," said Lin.

According to Brown, one in five single baby boomers is living in poverty compared to one in 20 for their married counterparts. Single boomers are twice as likely to be disabled, but they are also less likely to have health insurance.
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Our figures indicate one in three boomers won't have a spouse who can care for them. And, unmarrieds are less likely to have children who might provide care....
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Every fifth single baby boomer in poverty. And alone. Well, that's just if we don't want to do anything about it.

My Idaho radical rightie (man, Obama is not trying to introduce international rules to take your guns away. Really.) tells me about government compounds for when it gets really bad for enough people, behind barbed wire and guards.

Maybe instead we could pool our social security checks, buy some KOAs. Grow our own food and recreation, play on the canoes, take the camp bus to picket the BOA in town, start co-ops, build electric cars and sell 'em to the townies...

[Zalatix]

1. Behold the benefits of zero population growth.

People who say we need to cut back on the number of people on Earth should stop and look at what's happening to these lonely boomers.

[HockeyMom]

13. I worked in a nursing 20 years ago

Do you know how many residents HAD children, and grandchildren, who never came to see them? You want lonely? THAT is lonely. A local school went so far to have Adopt a Granny/Grandpa Program, so the kids could come in to see these people.

Remember, this was 20 years ago.

[Zalatix]

18. Yeah, that is sad. Abandoned by your own kids is doubly tragic.

I feel sad for elderly people who are all alone in their final years. My commentary was out of despair at the fact that a lot of FUTURE elderly will be suffering like this because an increasing number of people will have no descendents to look after them at all; whether their children abandon them will be irrelevant, because there won't be any children. This is going to be a tragic additional problem for the elderly - whether people want to accept it or not, it's going to be a contributor to the problem.

People can get mad at me for saying that but I hope at the same time we start discussing solutions... like a BIG expansion of "Adopt an Elderly" programs. Oh and I'll be throwing this idea at my kids for extracurricular charity activities.

[madmom]

26. wait..what? You're pushng zero population growth, yet you have kids?

[Zalatix]

28. Woah, I'm NOT pushing zero population growth. I'm pointing out one of its nasty side-effects.

It's bad here for the elderly, and it's going to be downright HORRENDOUS for the elderly of Japan, and soon China.

[Cal33]

31. Zero population growth means averaging 2 children per couple. It does not mean having no children

at all. If nobody had any children at all, within 70 years the human race would become close to
extinct. Only those over 70 would still be alive, and women over 70 cannot produce any more
children. The surviving population would be looking at extinction in the face.

You need children to replace the parents -- right? Most advanced nations are close to zero population growth, and have been for 60 years or more.

[ret5hd]

14. Because everyone knows the earth can support an infinite number of people.

[The2ndWheel]

21. I'd say it's more the benefits of cheap energy

The cheaper the energy, the less people directly need each other.

[Zalatix]

22. Or so they think. I would trade all the wealth in the world for the real life community I have.

And if things keep going the way they are, that may be all anyone ever has.

[The2ndWheel]

24. I'm not sure people have that level of control over the situation

We're all just caught up in it. More and more people either born into or grew up in a reality with more energy available, more options available, and that just slowly becomes a world where everyone has their own thing they have to do.

It's tough to go against the grain on that one. That's when more things people do morph into a monetary transaction.

[My Good Babushka]

29. Yet we have a lot of unemployed people

Instead of giving money to private, corporate controlled nursing homes we could train the unemployed to meet the cares of the elderly and keep them in their communities.

[Zalatix]

30. That job is a calling. A lot of people simply aren't suited for that kind of work.

People jobs are generally stressful and taking care of the elderly is the most stressful of its type. I know, I was employed in that field in my younger years.

[My Good Babushka]

32. But some people are

and if you make the training free, the pay and benefits good, I bet a lot more people would find it to be a rewarding vocation. We should be respecting caretakers with paychecks.

[Zalatix]

34. All of that, 150% true.

[silverweb]

2. I like your intentional community idea.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Maybe if you spread the idea around some, you'd get enough people interested to start a pilot community. Of course, the people you want to attract are not always going to be internet users, so getting their attention would be the first hurdle -- where and how to solicit people who would be interested.

Still, a very intriguing idea and I hope it leads to positive development. Similar urban communities aren't a bad idea, either -- and more convenient in a number of ways (medical care, transit, etc).

Maybe it's time to revive the "hippie commune" concept for aging grownups.

[RobertEarl]

10. That is what I hope for

An intentional community.

[silverweb]

36. It starts with the intention.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Then concept planning. Then getting the word out to potentially interested parties.

Here are two lists with possible places to start advertising your idea:

http://www.goodsearch.com/search.aspx?keywords=intentional+communities%2C+seniors

http://www.goodsearch.com/search.aspx?keywords=intentional+communities

If you see a similar concept already in existence somewhere, you may be able to get concrete development ideas from them.

[jtuck004]

38. Thank you for the ideas... n/t

[Skittles]

3. there are a lot worse things than being alone

and plenty of people with children still have no one to "provide care"

[JNelson6563]

4. I have thought about this.

I am 48 now, divorced and know a lot of other people in similar situations. I think it makes perfect sense to team up and help each other. I have two kids (20 & 23) who are around a lot now but that may change, life does that.

I have a former sis-in-law (she was married to my brother). She and I are still very good friends and I can totally see she and I working as sort of partners in the future. She is still raising a daughter (age 11) but I foresee such a thing down the road.

It's like cobbling together a family of your own choosing. I believe it is the way of things to come.

Julie

[cantbeserious]

6. 55, Divorced, No Kids - I Am The Statistic Referenced In The Article - The Last Years Will Be Rough

eom

[ProfessionalLeftist]

15. Similar sitch here....

...no kids, no spouse, in my 50s. I expect to die miserable and alone unless I can find myself a kind Dr. Kevorkian.

[Javaman]

16. Same here...

My GF is 9 years older than me. So more than likely I will outlive her.

She has two kids but they are grown and while they are great kids they have zero allegiance or requirement to help me when I get older.

Maybe by the time I'm "around the bend" there will be senior communes.

[CTyankee]

23. That's a fine idea, but lacking in reality, IMO. Hippies were young, strong and able.

Even tho we can consider ourselves aging healthily, age does take its toll. Knees, shoulders and spines deteriorate simply as a matter of wear and tear. You can't easily take the hippie model that we have in our heads and apply that to elderly people, despite good intentions.

It takes a real village to do lots of things. We need the cooperation of the younger generation to help care for the elderly.

Right now, my husband and I are constantly modifying our 2 story colonial house. It won't be long before I am going to give up struggling up and down 2 flights of stairs from the basement to the bedroom with baskets of laundry. We have already rehabbed staircases and the bathrooms. He is able to get around with a walker on each floor and a cane that he takes out with him. We have given up lawn mowing and snow shoveling. It gets to the point where these outsourced services outstrip your ability to pay for them (and afford your Medicare supplement policies and meds).

We are not ready for assisted living but are ready for senior housing or at least a high rise one level apartment. The idea of running off to a commune is laughably unrealistic, IMO...

[Javaman]

27. Yeah, I know what you mean...

when we were looking for a house, I insisted on a single story.

My mission now, while I'm still reasonabily "young", is to make sure there are ramps to all the external doors. And bar assists in the bathrooms.

I know, I can wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which fills up first regarding my "hope" of a senior type of commune. LOL

Well, Good luck to you and yours. We will all need a little of that in a few years.

[HiPointDem]

7. I think the problem with that plan is that a community composed entirely of old people may

not be viable as the people get old & require care. The "well" would be caring for the "ill" & it's hard enough to care for a parent or spouse that one has emotional bonds to. I wonder how many of the members would be willing to spend their remaining "well" time caring for the "ill" that they didn't have a long-time committment to.

There's a reason that social groups are composed of multiple generations. I think our economic organization increasing isolates everyone from everyone and it is sick.

[JNelson6563]

19. Yes, a very good point.

My SIL & I have kids so we're pretty fortunate. Certainly a good idea to add that into the mix.

Julie

[Auggie]

39. You'd have to have a "pay-it-forward" committment

and recruit "younger" folks as well as older folks. As the younger folks get older new blood is added. It's sustainable that way.

[DesertDiamond]

5. My dad always wished I would get married so I would have someone to take care of me in my old age...

This despite the fact that he knows lots of older women who are married but still don't have a man taking care of them. And when he was caring for my mom in her final years,and then later when his girfriend was dying, he found that nurses were always shocked to see him there and so devoted to caring for them -- they were used to seeing men just dump their wives off and never come back. Yet, my dad still had this idea if only I were married I would have someone to care for me. Sigh.

[JDPriestly]

8. I was going to say, two can live cheaper than one, and you don't have to be married

or in any kind of romantic relationship to share costs. The problem is that a lot of the people who are single either don't like living with another person or are difficult to get along with or have some really big problem such as a health problem or addiction. That makes it hard to find people to share with.

In response to some of the other posts, our society is unusual in that we do not live in or even near extended families. This isn't just a disadvantage in our final years. It also makes it tough on young families.

Grandparents can be a wonderful support for young people trying to work and raise small children. It's a shame that American families so often live far apart. Many children would benefit from the attention of their grandparents.

[Mariana]

12. My next door neighbors, when I was growing up

in the 1970's, were two elderly people living in the house together. The woman owned the house and had been widowed for many years. The man was a bachelor. She cooked the meals and did laundry for the both of them, and he paid board and did the yardwork, grew vegetables, and did minor repairs and maintenance. As far as I know there was no romantic relationship there, but they enjoyed each other's company and lived together comfortably, financially and otherwise, for more than twenty years.

There might have been a problem for him if she had passed away first, since the house was hers. It didn't happen that way, though.

[chervilant]

9. 56, no kids, no job, no future...

I *WISH* I could find a community-minded group. Instead, I'll likely exercise my Kevorkian option--don't want to be a burden on my friend who's letting me live with her 'rent free.' She has changed since we were kids...

[Javaman]

17. My GF and I have a plan...

if things get so bad for us, we have a "backup method".
As you say, the Kevorkian option.

[surrealAmerican]

11. You're misinterpreting the statistics from the article:

... it's not "Every fifth baby boomer in poverty", it's "one in five single baby boomers", but only "one in three" are, or are projected to be single. That would be one in fifteen if you don't account for impoverished married baby boomers, who they don't give a statistic for. It's still too many.

I had been talking with a few people about just the sort of "retirement commune" you're suggesting. It sounds like a viable option for some people.

[jtuck004]

35. You're right, I wrote that wrong. Thank you. n/t

[klook]

20. The Green House Project looks promising.

The Green House Project envisions "homes in every community where elders and others enjoy excellent quality of life and quality of care; where they, their families, and the staff engage in meaningful relationships built on equality, empowerment, and mutual respect; where people want to live and work; and where all are protected, sustained, and nurtured without regard to the ability to pay."

For more information, see:

• Changing Aging blog


• Green House Project Lets Elders Age In Homes (Talk of the Nation - NPR)


• The Eden Alternative: "Aging should be a continued stage of development and growth, rather than a period of decline."

[sorefeet]

25. Very interesting

I turned 60 last Saturday and I have no one. I live alone, have no kids. Just got to make sure I don't have a dog when I get older just in case I die, he couldn't get food or water because it would be a while before somone found me.
I live on 1200 acres and rent from an 85 year old woman. Maybe if I can hit the lottery I can put up an old folks commune. It's beautiful and plenty of fertile dirt for the huge garden.

[bhikkhu]

33. A counter-argument - "The Myth of Isolation"

http://cas.umkc.edu/casww/sa/Relationships.htm

Which has some good points. I hadn't read it before, but came across it looking for an article I read not too long ago about how 80% of older people looked forward to living in retirement alone, as opposed to with a spouse. It was a "myth of marital happiness" thing - which I didn't find anyway.

I do know several older people who are very lonely, mostly from having lost spouses recently, but I don't think its a growing or new problem. I certainly don't think having lots of kids is any kind of sane advice either.

[ellenfl]

37. that last part sounds good. i'm in. eom

[slackmaster]

40. Nest empty, divorced 12 years, last four serious girlfriends turned out to be hopelessly damaged.

Yep, it kind of looks like I was meant to go it alone.

[RebelOne]

41. I am 73 years old, alone, and I like that way.

I am happy with just me and my 2 dogs.

[arikara]

42. I can see me moving in with my daughter

as my Mr is older and in not prime health and likely he will go before me. Not that I like to think of that... but I do worry about her, she's now middle aged, never had kids and our immediate family has sort of petered out. I'll have to get on her to make sure she's ok and looked after when I croak.