I was 14. I was raped. I became pregnant. I had an abortion.

[marym625]

And I never looked back.

#ShoutYourAbortion

?list=PLYmjq_ZuA6B3SZCnqGocXYJU_myO7bOB4

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style

[Kath1]

1. That was beautiful.

Thank you. Very cool. Do you know her, marym625?

[marym625]

5. no. The video keeps going

There are many women on it. We're taking our power.

#ShoutYourAbortion

The first part of the post is me. Not on the video

Thank you

[Kath1]

8. You were awesome.

So beautiful. Breathtaking in honesty and truth.

I will watch the other women's stories, as well.

[marym625]

14. I'm sorry, I wrote that badly

I'm not on the video. I meant the written part of the post is me. But yes, she was beautiful

[Kath1]

18. She was so eloquent and honest.

So refreshing to see the REAL truth about abortion.

[marym625]

50. I completely agree

[w0nderer]

19. thank you for sharing

marym635, you know i respect you as from before (wp group)

i wish i could back you enough that it is all over your spine to where you just go...oh but..and it'll be there

*support*

[marym625]

101. Thank you!

I appreciate your support. Your wp group is wonderful and I have great respect for you starting it.

[Dont call me Shirley]

140. marym...

I was raped at 13 and luckily did not get pregnant. At 17, I did get pregnant, too young and immature to have a child I had an abortion. No regrets! I was not going to have an unwanted child like I was. I now have beautiful wanted children. I am on the journey of healing. Love to all

[marym625]

151. Thank you for sharing this

I'm so sorry someone hurt you.

We have no reason for shame. Thank you for sharing this. I know it's not easy.

[pnwmom]

2. I'm so sorry you were raped -- and so glad you were able to take care of yourself.

[marym625]

6. Thank you.

I almost didn't put that part up because it shouldn't matter. But that's what happened.

[Texasgal]

3. I became pregnant at 16.

I had an abortion. Never looked back either.

I will say this however... It is NO ONES business that I had a medical procedure that involved MY body. I feel no need to "shout out" anything. I made a decision based on my body. It's no ones business but my own.

[Kath1]

4. And I respect that.

Your own body. Your choice, PERIOD.

[marym625]

11. Absolutely!

I completely agree. Sexuality is no one's business either but so many coming out of the closet is what has turned the tides.

I don't expect anyone to do what I'm doing, what the women in the video are doing. But I'm doing it.

I don't want any young girl to feel she has to hide it, feel any shame. This is my choice and I expect no one to follow me

[pnwmom]

13. Thank you for starting the conversation.

I knew it took a lot of bravery.

[marym625]

16. Thank you.

Not brave. Just tired of it all.

[pnwmom]

22. I know what you mean . . .

but society still makes it harder than it should. But you just put another crack in the wall.

[marym625]

58. Thank you. That's the whole point of the campaign

Just trying to do the little I can

[Kath1]

26. There should be absolutely no shame or stigma.

It should be considered a medical procedure. Period.

[marym625]

44. because that is all it is.

[merrily]

136. I cannot agree with this enough, Mary. As with closeted gays, it's no one's right to out anyone

else. But, also as with closeted gays, coming out is freeing, freeing of oneself, freeing of other people in the same boat, and freeing of society as a whole.

[marym625]

150. Harvey Milk said to burst out of the closet

If people realized how many of their friends and family were LGBT, the stigma would be gone. He was right. It's still happening but we're so much closer.

This has to be the same. Yeah, it's no one's business. But I don't think things will change without speaking out

[merrily]

164. I didn't know he said that. He nailed so many things!

[marym625]

166. He was a wise man.

He also said

If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.

Harvey Milk

[merrily]

172. The great ones who know they may die as a result of their greatness are

not only great but very brave as well.

[marym625]

174. Very brave. n/t

[pnwmom]

12. I'm glad the medical care was available to you, too, as it was

to several of my close friends over the years.

And that it was always available to me, if circumstances had ever required it.

[w0nderer]

36. the 'father'

might say..i don't like that

but that's it

you be right!

no need to shout

[SammyWinstonJack]

128. Right On! I have a similar story. No one's damn business.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

7. I have a comment.

When I was young back in the 60s 70s and 80s, we didn't have a word for things we have words now.

We didn't have words like "date rape" and "sexual harassment". We just thought it was bad stuff men do to women. And it isn't taken seriously by authority figures.

[marym625]

17. Nope. and it still isn't taken seriously by law enforcement

[Blue_In_AK]

112. Absolutely correct.

If there had been such a legally actionable thing as workplace sexual harassment in those days, I'd be a millionaire. And date rape? Didn't exist.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

126. The culture not only sanctioned such behaviours, but reinforced them.

Take an open-eyed look back at movies of the era, and you'll see all sorts of movies with lines like 'Did she put up a fight?' when the guy is boasting about his date, or nerdy guys tricking women into sex or committing voyeurism. A generation or two of kids were raised on such crap that taught them that the way men related to women is to treat them as prey to be hunted and subdued, that they 'secretly wanted' such interactions, but were just being prim and proper when they said 'no!'.

[BlueJazz]

9. Wow! What a wonderful message. Damn..I admire your strength.

The video has taken me to a higher place.

[marym625]

21. Thank you

It's such a great video and campaign. Gave me power

#ShoutYourAbortion

[Kath1]

31. Sending LOVE your way, marym625!

Your choice is what is right for you, and you have a lot of support!

[marym625]

61. Love it!

Card carrying member of NOW since its inception

[Kath1]

62. Excellent.

NOW is a beautiful organization.

[MrMickeysMom]

10. I'm very close to this issue...

I congratulate any woman who has taken the opportunity to use the kind of tone she wishes to express anything she wants re: these types of issues.

Nobody owns your self-respecting body but YOU.

[Kath1]

15. I agree.

That was so honest and from the heart. Just beautiful.

[marym625]

24. +1 "Nobody owns your self-respecting body but YOU."

[liberalnarb]

20. You are very strong

Never look back. The last person who should feel regret in that situation is you.

[marym625]

27. Thank you !

[KamaAina]

23. Please tell me you're retweeting that from someone else!

[marym625]

28. Nope.

The video is part of the #ShoutYourAbortion campaign. The rest is me.

[KamaAina]

30. Aaauuuggghhh!!

[marym625]

60. .:loveya:

No tears!

#ShoutYourAbortion

#IStandWithPlannedParenthood

[passiveporcupine]

25. You are a strong woman Mary

I'm proud of you. I do believe we need to change the stigma of abortion and the only way to do that is to talk about it (or shout about it).

[marym625]

34. Thank you!

Just like certain words you can't use here, we have to own certain things. That's how we have the power

[passiveporcupine]

38. I was lucky. I didn't get pregnant (too young)

but if I had, I'd probably have grown up with PTSD from an abortion (if I could have even gotten one) because of my family's religious beliefs, just like I did about my sexual abuse by my "religious" step father.

Society really sucks sometimes. We have to keep fighting to make this safer and better for women.

[marym625]

63. I'm so sorry.

Truly

Fuck society and Fuck religion. They both just try to fuck up women.

#TakeYourPower

[MarianJack]

29. But according to Florida's part time Senator,...

.you should've been taken into custody!

PEACE!

[Kath1]

33. And isn't that horrible to have those views?

The GOP appalls me more every day.

[MarianJack]

43. Me too!

PEACE!

[marym625]

35. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on

Peace

[MarianJack]

46. Well said and...

...I completely agree!

Rubio is a pile of steaming💩

PEACE!

[marym625]

65. Well said!

[Kath1]

52. Yes! Fuck him!

What an asshole!

[marym625]

66. Ain't he though!

If people like him didn't exist, no one would have to do this

[Kath1]

67. Damn right, sister!

If people like him didn't exist we would experience a little bit of freedom!

[Kath1]

67. Damn right, sister!

If people like him didn't exist we would experience a little bit of freedom!

[Kath1]

68. Damn right, sister!

If people like him didn't exist we would experience a little bit of freedom!

[Kath1]

68. Damn right, sister!

If people like him didn't exist we would experience a little bit of freedom!

[marym625]

72. Exactly

Weird. Your post posted times. With just 2 post numbers

[Kath1]

74. I know.

Freaked me out. But, yeah, exactly!

[marym625]

78. got your point across. And it's a great point! n/t

[Kath1]

90. Glad for that!

Too wound up to go to bed. I am so totally pissed off.

I know you know how I feel.

[marym625]

96. definitely!

Same here

[Kath1]

99. I just posted another thread in GD you may like.

Sisterhood is powerful.

[marym625]

110. Thanks. I will check it out in a few

[Kath1]

111. Cool.

[marym625]

119. Sorry, I got sidetracked. on my way

[beam me up scottie]

32. I was 18, single and alone and I almost died from my abortion.

And I still never regretted it.

We're not going back, safe, legal, affordable abortions for every woman.

Good on you Mary.

[marym625]

40. I'm so sorry you were so sick.

Good on you, doll!!

[beam me up scottie]

47. If not for the shame and stigma I would not have been alone.

I wouldn't have left the clinic by myself and almost bled to death.

The shame they make us feel can be deadly too.

You are very brave to start this conversation, Mary.

I am in awe.

[marym625]

64. Believe me, I was quilted and shamed.

But my religious mother, or so I thought, took me to the doctor. And she never once shamed me or made me feel guilty.

I'm sorry you went through so much.

[beam me up scottie]

87. Thanks, it made me stronger.

I'm sorry you had to go through that, what a horrible thing for a child to have to deal with.

At least your mom was there for you, she could have forced you to go through with the pregnancy.

[marym625]

95. Ugh!

What a disaster that would have been!

[Floyd Steinberg]

49. I hate to be a grammar Nazi

but "we're not going back, safe, legal, affordable abortions for every woman"

should be "We're not going back! Safe, legal, and affordable abortions for every woman who needs one"

As a male, I agree. Our bodies, our choice.

[Le Taz Hot]

116. Then don't be.

<flush>

[Kath1]

55. I accompanied a dear friend to her abortion procedure.

We laughed, cried, held hands, hugged and spoke of our love for each other.

I drove her home and spent the night with her. Up all night talking about the experience.

She has never regretted her abortion.

[beam me up scottie]

57. I hitchhiked to the city and then took a bus to the clinic.

After my initial visit I stayed in the station overnight and went back the next day for the procedure.

I was desperate.

Your friend was lucky to have you.

[Kath1]

59. I like to think so.

It was a powerful experience. Two Catholic girls at an abortion clinic. Surreal to this day.

Your experience sounds desperate but you made the choice right for you. Glad you got the care you needed.

[senz]

180. I'm so sorry you went through this.

The shame and stigma remain, thanks to nonstop efforts on the part of religious fundamentalists and other misogynists.

My abortion happened prior to Roe v. Wade, so there wasn't so any organized anti-woman noise around the issue, although there were some distinct unpleasantries that I don't want to discuss here.

As someone who was very poor and alone for periods of time while young, I can relate to hitchhiking, taking buses, even staying up all night in a bus station because there's nowhere else to sleep. All of that is hard and makes for harsh memories. But to go by oneself for a medical procedure and then be alone while hemorrhaging and needing help is horrendous, and it speaks clearly to what rightwing attitudes can do to women. It's also amazing to learn what we can do when we have to. You're a very good person, as well as strong and brave, and I wish could travel back in time and take you to your appointment and make sure that you were okay afterward or got the help you needed.

I've long suspected that misogynists are antichoice because they know how desperate women can be when faced with an unwanted pregnancy and they enjoy the knowledge.

[beam me up scottie]

183. Thank you, senz.

What I went through made me realize that women who are desperate will risk their own lives to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.

I understand why women try to perform the procedure on themselves, why they throw themselves down the stairs, ingest poison, etc. Making abortion illegal doesn't prevent abortions, it just kills women.

I wish I had a friend like you back then too.

[Feeling the Bern]

37. And, according to the Republicans, you're a slut and a baby killer

why any woman would vote for a Republican amazes me.

[marym625]

41. hey, I resemble one of those remarks.

The other is so fucking ridiculous I can't even begin to address it.

I don't understand it either.

[Feeling the Bern]

48. Please don't take offense to my comment. I hope you know where they were

coming from.

[marym625]

80. oh, I don't

I understand what and where. It's appalling that people think that way.

No offense taken. It's all good

[Kath1]

56. "I resemble one of those remarks."

So do I .

Yes, the other one is idiotic.

[marym625]

81. Can't slut shame me

But I can make the best of them, or the worst of them, blush.

[Kath1]

86. Can't slut shame me, either!

Proud slut since 1975 and still going strong!

[me b zola]

39. K&R

[marym625]

42. Thank you

[malaise]

45. Good for you

Rec

[marym625]

73. Thank you, malaise.

[riderinthestorm]

51. Strong and fierce!

We own our bodies. We decide!

Outstanding OP and mad props for speaking the truth!

[marym625]

75. Thank you very much

"We own our bodies. We decide."
Right on!

[MannyGoldstein]

53. Sorry for your experience

But glad for you bravery.

[marym625]

76. Thank you, my friend

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

54. .

[marym625]

77. .

[Kalidurga]

79. I think we need to tell the other stories...

A lot of women have had their lives ruined by not getting an abortion. There is still a lot of pressure that should not be there on women to not get an abortion when it is actually the best option.

[marym625]

83. I agree

But I think that could be very difficult. Because that means a child was born, in most cases, and is alive. How do you say that was a bad choice and not really hurt that person?

I suppose there are circumstances where they grew up together and it's okay now. But then you're still saying this person was a mistake. True or not, that's gonna hurt. Ya know?

[Kalidurga]

91. I think you are absolutely right it is going to hurt

And that does make it more difficult. It also makes it more imperative. The resultant child knows how much their lives have been fucked, trust me they know. You can't have a mother's life ruined without that also touching the child in ways that are deeply scarring. My mother never told me I was a mistake. But, clearly it was a very bad idea for her to stay with my father. She was 23 when she had me and then 4 more in just 5 years. She stayed with my father who beat the crap out of her. Our family is highly dysfunctional in a chaotic way. Not a single one of us children got out of that without severe mental problems and we are still living out that legacy. Now, this was back in the 60's. Fast forward all but one of the 4 of us girls relived to a great degree what my mother set in motion. I don't even blame her for this, it is the culture. I have other reasons for hating her, but that ain't one.

[marym625]

98. I'm so sorry.

Truly, so sorry. No one should have to grow up like that.

You're absolutely right. It should be said. My mother told me, if she had it to do all over, she would have taken her full scholarship in science and gone away to school, not gotten married, at least not so young, and not had kids. It hurt a little. But I know she loved us unconditionally and I know my father was the love of her life. It just didn't fulfill her.

So, yeah, you're right.

I hope you are doing better now

[Kalidurga]

105. I think each generation gets a few things a little more right.

My children have done much better than I did and I think that I raised them better than my mother did. I don't have the opinion you tell kids they are mistakes. But, you can tell them that waiting to have kids is better than having kids before you are ready and tell them all the reasons why. If your situation with them is currently terrible let them know it's not their fault. I think if I never talked to my kids they would have been more damaged than they were by my utter lack of being able to bond with other people due to the way I was raised. So, it's complicated.

[marym625]

115. And I'm sure your kids know you love them.

They will be able to do better than you did, because of you, not in spite of you.

I hope you are proud of yourself. You should be.

I don't believe my mother was wrong in telling me. I was the only one of the three of us that was actually planned. I feel honored she felt secure enough in our love for each other that she shared her hopes and dreams that were then out of reach for her.

There's nothing in the beginning of life, or the end of it, that isn't complicated, even the simplicity of it.

great big

[Dont call me Shirley]

144. The difficult bonding with others, the fear of living, the feelings that I do not belong on this

earth, that I should not have been born, the chronic shame and self-blame, the sense of frozen self, of being in the wall, the physical illness caused by all the stress of it. It is a living nightmare being an unwanted child.

The quest to find Home within my self has saved me, keeps me going on. I feel stronger now, knowing that I am on the other side of that nightmare now. I know that I am not my past, only that it happened to me. I am connecting with and knowing my real self, the core of my being.

Silence, Peace, Bliss, Oneness to you Kalidurga.

[Kalidurga]

149. Thank you

your words give me hope.

[Dont call me Shirley]

143. Kalidurga, my story too....

Much healing to you

[Behind the Aegis]

82. Your body! Your CHOICE!

It is the way it should be!! I saw further upthread you said mentioning you were raped shouldn't matter, you are correct! The reasons for your abortion are YOUR reasons and yours alone! I support you and your choice.

BTW, in case you didn't know (or anyone else), there is a Sexual Assault Survivors Support group here.

for not looking back!

[marym625]

89. Thank you!

No, it doesn't matter. Not in this aspect. I was already sexually active. But with just my boyfriend and he had gone to his mom's in a different state for the summer. Then this happened.

I didn't tell my parents or anyone in authority. My mom just assumed I was screwing around. But she never made me feel guilty or ashamed and she took me to the doctor And paid for it. Had anyone asked me if she would be like that I would have said absolutely not. How wrong I was. And how incredibly lucky

Our bodies. Our choice!!

[Behind the Aegis]

97. While it doesn't compare...

...when I was 16, a friend of mine became pregnant. It was accidental. She wanted to get an abortion. I offered to drive her to and from the appointment. She wanted to talk and I said I would listen, but the choice was hers and I would support her anyway she chose to act. My mom found out and spoke to her as well. It was then she realized, though I was male, why I was so pro-choice, because I had a mother who was. I was lucky to have a mother who taught me to respect the decisions of women. And, again, while not exactly the same, as a gay person, I know what it is to have people try to control what I do with my body.

I will always support a women's right to choose...ALWAYS!

Our bodies! Our choice! Damn right!

[marym625]

109. it's the same.,

Just wasn't you that had to make the choice. But you were there for her. Your mom was there for her. You helped someone a great deal. And I know, having been there for others, you feel as deeply.

While I don't know what you, or any gay man, goes through, I did have to come out as bisexual. I have a little bit of a clue. Especially since I first came out as a lesbian. I was pretty confused back then. It's still amazing to me how so many people think they get to tell you who you are. To this day I'm told it's a phase of that I'm lying to myself because there's no such thing as gay.

Our bodies, how we were born. Our choice.

[davidpdx]

84. Sammy spoke eloquently about a very tough issue and her voice is important

in the fight against the anti-choice trying to make abortion illegal again. For the life of me can not understand the hypocrisy of the anti-choice crowd. They would rather see people like Sammy have the child and then possibly have to fight for custody rights. Meanwhile she gets no support for her and her baby nor legally in terms of a custody battle. She loses everything and she was the victim.

I hope the tide begins to turn back toward pro-choice in the US and these stupid restrictions are overturned.

[marym625]

93. It has to. and we have to fight for it. With everything we have

I'm sorry, who is Sammy?

It shouldn't even be "pro choice" It should be "pro humanity" "pro privacy" "pro none of your fucking business"

[davidpdx]

102. The woman in the video

[marym625]

114. I'm sorry. I thought it might be

But I couldn't remember for sure., The video goes on. There are many women in the video. I just wasn't sure what the names are. I admit, I'm horrible at names. Just horrible.

[marym625]

121. She, Sammy, was eloquent

Every one of them speaks her personal story with eloquence and determination. If you have tine, you should watch the whole thing. I'll have to watch it a few times to get the names right. But I remember the stories. Each one. And they're brave, intelligent, powerful women.

Good for you for being so inspiring. I'm sure the women in your life are very grateful to have you in theirs

[WillyT]

85. HUGE K & R !!! - Thank You !!!

[marym625]

94. Thank you, Willy, my friend!

[Solly Mack]

88. K&R

[marym625]

103. Thank you.

[Hepburn]

92. Thank you for speaking out.

There are many women who do not regret having an abortion. It's a choice and it's your body and your right to control your life as you see fit.

Hugs...

[Kath1]

100. That video was excellent'

So eloquent and right to the point.

[marym625]

104. Thank you.

Our bodies. Our choice.

I don't know anyone that regrets it. And I know more than a few that had them.

[Kath1]

106. I don't know one who regrets it.

And I know several women who have had abortions.

[marym625]

117. yep. it's something done with great thought.

And never lightly

[gwheezie]

107. I had an abortion

No regrets. Afterwards I went out to dinner.

[bravenak]

108. I had one for medical reasons. Genetics are flawed in my line.

The pill. (It made me sick so, no dinner) Thank goodness for the pill. Had it not been for the pill, I would have had a very sick child.
I would never take that right away from anybody.

[Kath1]

113. That is great to hear!

I'll bet it was a wonderful dinner!

No regrets, no worries and beautiful freedom!

[marym625]

118. I was sick for a couple days

Horribly sick the day after. No going to dinner for me.

Good for you for taking care of yourself. For making the right choice for you. Without regret

[gwheezie]

122. I had to go to pp in nyc

This was back in the day when it wasn't available in my state. My boyfriend went with me. We figured since we were in NYC we'd not mass transit home right away. I was less than 12 weeks. Bad cramping but the bottle of wine at dinner made it better.

[marym625]

125. Gotta love the wine!

I'm glad you were able to get through the cramping. Anyone that thinks this is easy, in anyway, is an idiot.

Thank you for sharing your story

[Le Taz Hot]

120. I told my rape story here

several months ago. Luckily, I didn't get pregnant or an STD, BUT, PP would have been there if I had gotten pregnant. Women need to start telling their stories because too many men (and right wing fundy women) just don't understand the desperation women find themselves in when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. And it's NOBODY'S BUSINESS WHY she's getting an abortion. These same people who want gummit out of their biness sure as hell don't feel that way when it comes to women's reproductive rights.

Thanks you, marym, for telling your story.

[marym625]

123. Thank you, Le Taz Hot

For sharing your painful story.
No, many men don't understand. And I don't think the fundies want to. And while some men, especially here, understand the best they can, they'll never be able to fully empathize.

Thank you again. You never cease to amaze me

[beam me up scottie]

124. "it's NOBODY'S BUSINESS WHY she's getting an abortion"

Exactly, no one else needs to be notified, no one needs to give their permission, and these bullshit laws about it having to be incest and/or rape are just a way to prevent women from having abortions.

[Chemisse]

127. Thank-you for sharing.

We need to take the stigma out of abortions.

It didn't used to be so unmentionable in the early decades after it was legalized. This is something the anti-abortion zealots have driven us to. We need to take our rights back!

[marym625]

129. I was just a little kid then.

I didn't know that. Thank you for letting us know.

I have no doubt that the right wing nut jobs and religious zealots caused the idea we should all be shamed. Now they are actually jailing women for controlling their own body. In the U.S. In 2016. That's a Wtf I just can't even begin to wrap my head around

"We need to take our rights back!" Damn straight, sister!

[panader0]

130. You are strong and wise--K and R

[marym625]

131. Thank you. Very kind of you. n/t

[treestar]

132. You don't have to fast for it?

For some reason it just stuck out that she ate breakfast. Is it under anesthesia?

[marym625]

133. If you're lucky enough to either pay for that out of pocket

Or you have some kick ass insurance. Otherwise, no.

[PeaceNikki]

134. I am so sorry you went through that and glad that you had access.

I will fight until my last breath for women to have access to the services they deserve.

No shame.

[marym625]

135. Thank you.

As will I. We cannot allow the insane control freaks to win.



Absolutely, no shame

[Kath1]

141. And there should be no shame.

No shame in having a legal medical procedure.

I've done clinic defense and volunteered as an escort. I've seen what these women go through and what they are forced to hear and it is sickening.

[marym625]

152. Thank you for your work

I know it is important and women have been saved because of it

No shame!

[Kath1]

153. Peace!

No need to thank me. Just doing what is right. Protecting women and getting them to the care and services they need. Glad to do it. Proud to do it!

[marym625]

161. Peace. in solidarity, sister!

[perdita9]

137. These women are incredibly brave

I feel bad for them because public disclosure like this shouldn't be necessary.

[marym625]

154. It shouldn't be necessary

But it is.

No pity. They did it freely. And women all over the internet are doing it. We're taking our power!

[Jack Rabbit]

138. K/R

[marym625]

155. Thanks, Jack

[love_katz]

139. Plus a gazillion!

[marym625]

156. Thank you!

I don't think I ever got a gazillion before!

Thank you!

[Raster]

142. Bless your heart. Bless her heart. Trust women. Thanks to everyone sharing their stories.

Trust women. Believe in women. Trust women to make the right decision for themselves.

I cannot, fucking cannot believe that all these years after Roe v. Wade we are still having to fight for the right of women to control their own bodies and make informed, personal decisions WITHOUT interference from church or state.

Trust women.

[marym625]

157. +100! "

"I cannot, fucking cannot believe that all these years after Roe v. Wade we are still having to fight for the right of women to control their own bodies and make informed, personal decisions WITHOUT interference from church or state."
Amen to that! It's Unfuckingbelievable

Yes, many brave women on this thread. And I'm grateful for each one

[merrily]

145. I cannot tell you, Mary, how sorry I am that that happened to you and how glad I am

that you and your mom made the decision that was right for you at that time. Thank heaven abortion was legal then. I had posted the following info on another thread, but it seems appropriate to paste it here.


Before Roe v. Wade, a doctor in the family of my sister's inlaws gave up everything to prevent prevent needless deaths by performing safe, illegal abortions.

Lost his license, went to jail time after time. Each time he was released, he would start performing safe, illegal abortions again and get arrested again.

In those days, because of lack of readily available contraception or education, and the huge disgrace facing unwed mothers, more females, including very young ones, sought abortion.

[marym625]

158. That's some seriously wonderful stuff

Giving up everything to save lives and risk incarceration. Amazing!

Thank you. I was incredibly lucky to have my parents. No two ways about it

[merrily]

165. Yep. Had to give up his family, too. They were ashamed of him and almost never mentioned him,

even after Roe v. Wade.

I bet there were many like him, but we'll never hear about them for the same reason: families too disgraced to speak.

[marym625]

167. Or proud and didn't want to risk their family member going to jail.

[merrily]

170. No, not proud at all and they were not protecting him.

They were immigrants. He had made them proud by becoming a doctor--American Dream squared--but then "disgraced" the entire family by being a lawbreaker. They were strict Catholics too, his parents having come from Italy circa maybe 120 years ago? (Just a guess on my part). He "disgraced" his parents, his siblings, his nieces and nephews, etc. He had taken a proud family name and dragged through the mud-- and he would not stop. He did not go to jail once, but over and over. He was dead to them.

When I say he gave up everything to provide safe, illegal abortions, I mean he gave up everything.

[marym625]

171. sorry, I wasn't clear

I meant other families. There have to be some related to people like him that are proud.

[merrily]

173. Oh, probably you were clear but I was too fixated on my sister's in laws

"There have to be some related to people like him that are proud" God, I hope so.

Even as to Julius (after Julius Caesar, of course), my sister and her daughter are proud. Well after he died, sadly, but his legacy is at least that of a sacrificial hero.

[marym625]

175. That's exactly what he is. A hero!

[jwirr]

146. I was a divorced single mother of three and I could not afford

another child. And unfortunately I was just ready to graduate from a college that would have kicked me out for being pregnant.

[marym625]

159. Thank you for sharing this jwirr

You're not alone. Thank you so much for putting this out there. I promise, it's helping some young woman.

[Marty McGraw]

148. Thank you

For being here and having such courage to relay your experience and wish our nation in whole would cast away our crappiest of crappy methods toward dividing eachother

[marym625]

160. Thank you!

The creepiest of crappy methods. Exactly

I have little power. This is what I have. And I'm taking my power back!

[Alison Hartson]

162. This is an incredibly important movement

Thank you for sharing this movement that I have yet to hear of. You may not think you're brave, but I happen to know what kind of strength it takes to talk about something like this. That is bravery in the political, social, hyper-sexualized climate that we live in. Sad but true, which is why this movement exists. Much love to you.

[marym625]

163. Thank you, Alison

I really appreciate that.

They have a Twitter too, @shoutabortion Many women tweeting their stories

Much love back

[Zorra]

168. Someone very close to me was forced into a religious "home for unwed mothers"

at 14 yrs old. She wanted an abortion. She gave the baby up for adoption. Immediately afterwards, she proceeded to drop out of school, engage in hard core drinking and drug abuse, and generally went off the rails altogether.

She ran away to California at 16, where she met an older man, a RW religious control freak who beat her, and who she had two children by. She left him, and then totally went on welfare, with some family help.

She's in her 50's now, and is a very angry, unhappy individual. Her kids are grown, and they are a serious mess.

Abortion is a natural right, not a legally granted privilege.

[marym625]

169. I'm so sorry that happened.

I'm sure that isn't unique to that woman. Forcing someone to have a child is just cruel, at any age. But when you're talking about a child having a child, it's insane.

"Abortion is a natural right, not a legally granted privilege." Perfect. Thank you

[JoePhilly]

176. I've had three female friends ...

... come and talk to me as they tried to make the decision as to whether to have an abortion, or not.

And my wife had an abortion before we ever met.

Of the three, two had an abortion, one did not.

I did not ever tell them what I thought they should do. I did my best to help them be confident in the fact that the decision belonged to them.

In one case, I also knew the guy who got the girl pregnant. He was lobbying me to tell the girl to get the abortion. He did not want to be a father. I told him he should have worn a condom. She decided to have an abortion.

My wife (who had an abortion before we met) and I now have three kids. If she has not had an abortion before we met, I doubt we'd have those same three kids. We might not have any of them. Maybe we'd still have three ... the one she had before me, and then the other two. Which means my 3rd child, would not be here now.

That is how tenuous your life is.

Every one of your ancestors had to have sex, and conceive a child, EXACTLY at the time that they did, or
this OP, and my reply do not happen.

[marym625]

177. That's the right thing you did.

Good for you for being such a caring friend. It's not always easy to just listen and encourage people to do whatever is right for them.

Thank you for sharing this

[JoePhilly]

178. I think men have to step up too ...

... because, sadly ... I think women sometimes care too much about what we men think.

I mean, women can be afraid that the men around them will judge them negatively. So they may avoid talking to us.

I'm glad my friends knew they could talk to me about this.

Men need to step up. And smack the RW in the face.

[marym625]

179. They sure do.

And women, many anyway, need to as well.

I haven't seen this yet, but I love the trailer.

Miss Representation

ttps://vimeo.com/28066212

[senz]

181. Very sorry you went through these things, marym,

but glad you had a supportive mother and it turned out okay. Thanks for an excellent OP.

[marym625]

182. Thank you, senz

I was very lucky. A good friend of mine got kicked out of her home when she became pregnant, and her only boyfriend, who got her pregnant, broke up with her and spread horrible rumors about her.

How anyone can be so horrible as to force a woman, a girl, to have a child, is beyond me

[PaulaIshee]

184. Very sorry you went through these things, marym,

Very sorry you went through these things, marym,

[marym625]

185. Thank you, PaulaIshee.

I'm one of the lucky ones that had support.

I'm not able to fight, with money, the wicked that want to shame so many of the women in this country. But I have this power to take. I have nothing to be ashamed of, nor do so many women right here on this thread.

It's empowering to see the responses here.

Thank you