Frustrated Gunman Can’t Believe How Far He Has To Drive To Find Nearest Planned Parenthood Clinic

[Hissyspit]

http://www.theonion.com/article/frustrated-gunman-cant-believe-how-far-he-has-driv-51923

Frustrated Gunman Can’t Believe How Far He Has To Drive To Find Nearest Planned Parenthood Clinic

NEWS IN BRIEF November 30, 2015
VOL 51 ISSUE 48 · News · Violence · Abortion

AMARILLO, TX—Expressing frustration with the lack of convenient locations in his area, deranged gunman and anti-abortion fanatic Jared Broussard reported Monday that he could not believe how far he would have to drive to find the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic. “You have to be kidding me; I figured I’d need to go 10, maybe 15 miles, tops, but the closest one is almost 250 miles away,” said a visibly exasperated Broussard, adding that he would have to scrap his plans for the entire day and leave right now if he wanted to reach the health care provider before it closed this evening. “God, the nearest one isn’t even in this state. It’s actually faster for me to drive across the border to Santa Fe, and even then it’s still a four-hour trip. That barely leaves me enough time to buy ammo.” Broussard added that, given the length of the drive, he was thankful that he would likely not have to make a round trip.

Note: This is the first Onion article not to make me laugh but to cry.

[jeff47]

1. 'nother thread with this story here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027398085

(Just mentioning this in case your post doesn't get much attention)

[niyad]

2. i guess robert dear has no room for complaints, then. he only had to drive 65 miles from hartsel.