Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

BlueCaliDem

(15,438 posts)
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 11:39 AM Dec 2015

The San Bernardino mass shooting horror just came home to me this morning.

Many DUers know me here. I've been a star-member of Democratic Underground since November 2004. Many people know my political activism, my passion, and my dedication to get as many Democrats elected as we possibly can. Some even know me a little bit more than that.

But what no DUer knows is, I have a son who has cerebral palsy and autism since birth. His name is Mark. He's 34 years old and my oldest child. Mark is developmentally disabled with a mental ability of a six year old child. And we live in North Fontana. That's why I haven't been around much yesterday since 1:45 a.m. when I learned on MSNBC that gunfire had erupted in San Bernardino. I hadn't paid much attention up until the moment I heard the dire voices as I was going about my business.

Since my son is developmentally disabled, he uses services provided by the Inland Regional Center, and has since 2010. His consumer service coordinator works in that building where, yesterday, 14 people were murdered and 17 were injured. I don't know if his service coordinator was part of that group, but I know she was there. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family.

Yesterday, after all hell broke loose, it ended in front of the facility where my son goes "to work" every day. I didn't know this. I believed he was safe where he was which, I believed, was a good distance from the Inland Regional Center. But the danger and horror was closer than I knew.

This morning, ten minutes after I said "have a good day" to my son as he walked out the door with his lunch pack and big smile to meet the luxury bus that had come to pick him up, I received a call from the transport service that he'll be returned. They just received word from his facility that they're closed and that the entire street is blocked off. Only this morning I learned that the gunfire that ended the lives of Farook and his wife happened in their street, right in front of their building.

My son never told me. I knew he'd come home a little later than normal yesterday since his work facility is in San Bernardino and the police, FBI, and SWAT had cast a wide security net in that area, but I never thought he could have witnessed the shootout. Naturally, I'm a bit more than just a little rattled by this news because nothing like this has ever happened to me or mine.

I don't know more than what I've written here or what's already being reported in the media, so please don't ask. It's all now just sinking in with me and I'm a bit more than just a little rattled after I learned about this. I'm just happy he's being returned home today, safe and sound.

Thank you for allowing me to blow off some steam.

69 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
The San Bernardino mass shooting horror just came home to me this morning. (Original Post) BlueCaliDem Dec 2015 OP
Hugs and kisses Iliyah Dec 2015 #1
That is why from the barrage of media coverage, many don't appreciate the personal loss and still_one Dec 2015 #2
..... bigwillq Dec 2015 #3
I hear ya kimbutgar Dec 2015 #4
... SidDithers Dec 2015 #5
I can relate to the cold chills that come over a momma when she learns of a child's too close call.. dixiegrrrrl Dec 2015 #6
I am glad that your son is safe Gormy Cuss Dec 2015 #7
So glad he is safe Beaverhausen Dec 2015 #8
Glad your Mark is safe. oldandhappy Dec 2015 #9
The service coordinator is probably okay KamaAina Dec 2015 #10
It is a terrible, upsetting thing when someone you love is close to such horrific events. bklyncowgirl Dec 2015 #11
heart-rending Fast Walker 52 Dec 2015 #12
I feel it for you malaise Dec 2015 #13
Welcome to the club. One in three flamin lib Dec 2015 #14
Thank You for sharing, BlueCaliDem. Sissyk Dec 2015 #15
That's really scary. I'm so happy your son is safe. Vinca Dec 2015 #16
Glad your son is safe. zomgitsjesus Dec 2015 #17
I'm so glad he's safe. nt pinstikfartherin Dec 2015 #18
My best to you and your son nt flamingdem Dec 2015 #19
I am another parent. As soon as I heard it was a facility for jwirr Dec 2015 #20
(((((((BlueCaliDem & Mark))))))) WillyT Dec 2015 #21
Hugs... ngGale Dec 2015 #22
I am so sorry you went through this. Glimmer of Hope Dec 2015 #23
Damn hibbing Dec 2015 #24
World wide impovrishment Marty McGraw Dec 2015 #25
Really. Is this thread the place for politics? Hekate Dec 2015 #29
I just got chills all over. Hugs to you and your son from the Central Coast. Hekate Dec 2015 #26
words fail. marym625 Dec 2015 #27
Absolutely!! Duval Dec 2015 #39
So sorry BCD. bunnies Dec 2015 #28
Peace and Love to you both. Dont call me Shirley Dec 2015 #30
BlueCaliDem, Raine1967 Dec 2015 #31
((Hugs)) TBF Dec 2015 #32
Thoughts and prayers to you and your son, not physically harmed yet still more victims..... joanbarnes Dec 2015 #33
I am so sorry you have to know that your baby was in such danger. I'm glad he's here today Squinch Dec 2015 #34
It's so hard to be brave when the safety of our children is threatened The Blue Flower Dec 2015 #35
Safe and sound. yallerdawg Dec 2015 #36
I'm so glad your son is safe. Duval Dec 2015 #37
(((hugs))) Starry Messenger Dec 2015 #38
May you find some peace today... Scruffy Rumbler Dec 2015 #40
Love to you and your family. Indepatriot Dec 2015 #41
Glad you son . Is ok Liberal_in_LA Dec 2015 #42
I'm happy to heart that your son is well and safe, but what a senseless act. JDPriestly Dec 2015 #43
I sympathize with you. My daughter lived a LibDemAlways Dec 2015 #44
What can you say at a time like this... Dr. Xavier Dec 2015 #45
hugs for you and your family, and all impacted by this horrendous crime. have some small idea niyad Dec 2015 #46
Thank you for sharing how close this came to you and your family. May you find some FailureToCommunicate Dec 2015 #47
. lonestarnot Dec 2015 #48
So sorry to hear of your ordeal. We had a mass shooter and had to shelter in our house Liberty Belle Dec 2015 #49
Peace & love. CaptainTruth Dec 2015 #50
I'm so glad he's safe, and I hope the same for his service coordinator. Tarheel_Dem Dec 2015 #51
My heart goes out to Mark and all of you gwheezie Dec 2015 #52
Hugs to you. Lil Missy Dec 2015 #53
I'm so glad Mark is okay and heartbroken about those who were Cha Dec 2015 #54
One of the things about the shooting Ilsa Dec 2015 #55
Wow Dorian Gray Dec 2015 #56
So scary! OnionPatch Dec 2015 #57
. MerryBlooms Dec 2015 #58
Hugs and well wishes to you Generic Other Dec 2015 #59
The angels were with you and yours. Take care riversedge Dec 2015 #60
Wow! This world, this world. I am glad he is safe. mfcorey1 Dec 2015 #61
That would make my knees buckle. Hold him close. Give lots of kisses. I'm happy he's safe. Laser102 Dec 2015 #62
Thank you for sharing your story Samantha Dec 2015 #63
May you know peace hereafter. n/t. NNadir Dec 2015 #64
Hold him close leanforward Dec 2015 #65
Glad your son is safe. gademocrat7 Dec 2015 #66
I'm glad he is safe. I lost a co-worker and former classmate in that rampage, so I totally feel how Tiggeroshii Dec 2015 #67
Glad to hear your son is okay. romanic Dec 2015 #68
(((hugs))) LWolf Dec 2015 #69

still_one

(91,593 posts)
2. That is why from the barrage of media coverage, many don't appreciate the personal loss and
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 11:46 AM
Dec 2015

suffering unless they are actually affected.

It is so important for America as a people to empathize with those who have to go through such ordeals.

I am glad your family is safe, and hope your service co-ordinator is ok.

All the best

kimbutgar

(20,628 posts)
4. I hear ya
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 11:51 AM
Dec 2015

I just got home from my long term sub teaching job with k-2 kids with disabilities and noticed my husband left the garage door open. My husband was inside and had the tv on and was watching in horror. He told me what happened and I burst into tears hearing it was at a regional center serving special needs. Our son lives in a group home and attends a day program. It just hit me how much I hate guns and am getting sick of these senseless killings. Our government is so corrupt and owned by the NRA we can't get rid of these guns that shoot 300 rounds per minute. No one should own these guns unless they are in the military. We live in a sick sick country.

dixiegrrrrl

(60,010 posts)
6. I can relate to the cold chills that come over a momma when she learns of a child's too close call..
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 11:59 AM
Dec 2015

Have been in similar circumstances with a son.

Thank god your son is safe.
and thank you for sharing this information with us.

Gormy Cuss

(30,884 posts)
7. I am glad that your son is safe
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 11:59 AM
Dec 2015

and yes, these shootings "come home" to a lot of people. I have a friend who had it "come home" at another recent mass shooting.

Beaverhausen

(24,463 posts)
8. So glad he is safe
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 12:01 PM
Dec 2015


I have a friend who is a nurse at the Loma Linda hospital where some of the victims were taken.
 

KamaAina

(78,249 posts)
10. The service coordinator is probably okay
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 12:22 PM
Dec 2015

As you must have heard by now, the shooting took place in a conference room that the regional center had rented to county public health employees for a holiday awards function. Farook was one such (apparently disgruntled) employee.

bklyncowgirl

(7,960 posts)
11. It is a terrible, upsetting thing when someone you love is close to such horrific events.
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 12:22 PM
Dec 2015

I can understand a little of what you are feeling. My husband was standing outside the World Trade Center when the second plane hit. He'd been inside that building buying a newspaper an hour before. Hope all is well with you and your family.

flamin lib

(14,559 posts)
14. Welcome to the club. One in three
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 12:33 PM
Dec 2015

people will be touched by gun violence either directly or indirectly. One in three.

That's more than 100,000,000 people.

Too bad the club isn't more exclusive . . .

Sissyk

(12,665 posts)
15. Thank You for sharing, BlueCaliDem.
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 12:36 PM
Dec 2015

I know from personal experience what it feels like to know your child came that close to being gone forever.

Best of good thoughts for you both! And, his care provider.

jwirr

(39,215 posts)
20. I am another parent. As soon as I heard it was a facility for
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 12:59 PM
Dec 2015

the care of developmentally disabled persons my heart crashed. I will admit I did not even think about the parents - just the residents. So innocent.

Very glad Mark is safe.

Marty McGraw

(1,024 posts)
25. World wide impovrishment
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 01:21 PM
Dec 2015

Has really set the stage to the ills of this world, as well as the left-over manipulative minute percentage that hold key to all the power.

Hekate

(89,756 posts)
26. I just got chills all over. Hugs to you and your son from the Central Coast.
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 01:30 PM
Dec 2015


I don't know the area well, as I lived and worked in Cucamonga only 3 years (Chaffey College), but one of my closest college friends was from Fontana....



marym625

(17,997 posts)
27. words fail.
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 01:30 PM
Dec 2015

Please know we're here for you in whatever way you need. Thoughts are with you and your family.

Raine1967

(11,588 posts)
31. BlueCaliDem,
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 01:44 PM
Dec 2015

I am so sorry that you went through this. I am so happy that your son is alright.

Situations like yours, when it comes so close to home, knowing how close a loved one is to danger is something that will forever change outlooks on life and the world around us.

sincerely.

I totally identify with what you are saying.

TBF

(31,871 posts)
32. ((Hugs))
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 01:45 PM
Dec 2015

I can only imagine how you feel. I'm so glad your son is safe, and grieve for the other innocent folks that we lost.

Squinch

(50,438 posts)
34. I am so sorry you have to know that your baby was in such danger. I'm glad he's here today
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 02:07 PM
Dec 2015

with a big smile on his face.

The Blue Flower

(5,417 posts)
35. It's so hard to be brave when the safety of our children is threatened
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 02:11 PM
Dec 2015

I'd stand up to anyone or anything for my children and grandchild. It's a totally different thing when we feel they're vulnerable. I completely empathize with what you're feeling. Very happy to know he's safe.

 

Duval

(4,280 posts)
37. I'm so glad your son is safe.
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 02:27 PM
Dec 2015

It is sure to be terribly frightening and if you need to blow off more steam, do it, BlueCaliDem. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family and community.

Scruffy Rumbler

(961 posts)
40. May you find some peace today...
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 02:42 PM
Dec 2015

And when you son arrives, big hugs... and one from me. I hope you can both just be with each other for a quiet and peaceful evening.

JDPriestly

(57,936 posts)
43. I'm happy to heart that your son is well and safe, but what a senseless act.
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 06:22 PM
Dec 2015

Religious fanaticism justifying killing? I assume that was what was behind the San Bernardino and Planned Parenthood attacks. That has to stop!

LibDemAlways

(15,139 posts)
44. I sympathize with you. My daughter lived a
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 08:34 PM
Dec 2015

block from where 2 female students were murdered by a maniac on a rampage in Isla Vista in May of last year. Fortunately, she was at the movies at the time. However, a short time later she found a spent, twisted bullet in a box of kleenex she purchased at a nearby mini mart where a third student was slaIn.

I'm so sorry your son was a witness to the horror. What will it take before the US takes action to stop this madness?

Dr. Xavier

(278 posts)
45. What can you say at a time like this...
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 09:13 PM
Dec 2015

My wife and I grew up halfway between San Berdoo and LA, the San Gabriel Valley. We know people, who live in that area. We know people, who work in that field. We now live in Northern California, in Fremont, my wife is a school librarian. Her school is surrounded by million dollar homes. Yesterday, she told me that someone found three bullets on her school's grounds. I couldn't even tell her the news from Berdoo, I just told her to watch the news. I couldn't even tell her what had happened, I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. I don't know what to say, what can I tell you that would let you know that you're are not alone? Maybe I can't think of anything to say, because deep down inside, I know that's not true. And that is incredibly sad to realize.

niyad

(111,218 posts)
46. hugs for you and your family, and all impacted by this horrendous crime. have some small idea
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 10:11 PM
Dec 2015

what you went through--was very worried about friends on friday.

FailureToCommunicate

(13,929 posts)
47. Thank you for sharing how close this came to you and your family. May you find some
Thu Dec 3, 2015, 10:53 PM
Dec 2015

calm in the next few days...

We were swept up in that fearful time of the Boston Marathon bombing, with my son close to the finish line, and later, my brother

rattled by the police searching his street and neighborhood for the bombers.

Liberty Belle

(9,524 posts)
49. So sorry to hear of your ordeal. We had a mass shooter and had to shelter in our house
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 02:14 AM
Dec 2015

About a year ago - crazy guy fired off over 200 rounds, then killed himself.

We live in a school district that has had two mass school shootings, too.

I am so sick of all the violence. One thing for sure is that no matter the cause (mental illness, workplace violence, terrorism etc) if automatic and semi-automatic weapons and ammo were hard to get, we would have a lot fewer mass shootings and a lot less casualties.

I guess it would take someone shooting up the capitol or a Republican convention before we'll see any of them grow a backbone and stand up against the NRA.

gwheezie

(3,580 posts)
52. My heart goes out to Mark and all of you
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 02:44 AM
Dec 2015

My daughter was on her way to work in lower Manhattan when I saw the WTC attack on the news. I couldn't reach her for hours. When we did briefly talk she didn't go into detail as she was trying to get home, and I just was relieved to know she was OK. It took a few days for her to tell me what it was like for her.
Mark might have more to say as time goes on. I know you will be there to listen.

Lil Missy

(17,865 posts)
53. Hugs to you.
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 02:59 AM
Dec 2015

My son lived at an Intermediate Care Facility for age 19 and under. I immediately thought of the safety of the special needs clients at the facility when I heard of this shooting. I was really concerned, at first, that it could have been targeted because it contained special clients. That rattled me to my core. As it turns out, that was not the case. Still horrifying, but specifically targeting the truly helpless just seems like an additional level of evil.

I'm glad your son is okay.

Cha

(294,873 posts)
54. I'm so glad Mark is okay and heartbroken about those who were
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 04:40 AM
Dec 2015

right in the path of terror.

You blew off steam very well, BlueCali.. I felt as if I were right there with you. I've been thinking about those poor people and their families all day today.



Ilsa

(61,638 posts)
55. One of the things about the shooting
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 06:23 AM
Dec 2015

that for me and my husband, drove the knife in deeper, was that it happened at this facility. We, too, have a developmentally delayed son, and we have learned that it takes really special people to choose to work with them.

I'm so sorry that Mark was any where near that scene. I hope you are all able to put things back together so he can resume his routine again. I realize that for so many others, it'll never be the same, and I don't want to seem unconcerned for them, but for those with Special Needs, getting back to the routine is usually best.

Sometimes we forget how these tragedies affect others, more than just the direct victims. Thank you for sharing with us. I'll send my hopes and prayers for all of you.

Dorian Gray

(13,460 posts)
56. Wow
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 06:58 AM
Dec 2015

I hope that his service coordinator wasn't harmed. It would be something for you guys.

I don't know how to wrap my brain around this, and I'm in NYC. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to process this whole thing. It's touched closely upon your life. And your son's life.

Hugs to your family.

OnionPatch

(6,169 posts)
57. So scary!
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 08:11 AM
Dec 2015

I'm so glad your son was safe but can imagine how scary it must have felt when you understood how close he was to danger. We just never know these days. Nowhere is off limits for this kind of random gun violence I guess.

This hit a bit closer to home than most shootings for me as well. Or should I say closer to work. I work about a block from Farook's home and it was police cars converging and copters hovering all day yesterday. Not your normal work day, for sure.

Glad to know there are DUers nearby though. Stay safe.

Samantha

(9,314 posts)
63. Thank you for sharing your story
Fri Dec 4, 2015, 03:03 PM
Dec 2015

I am so happy you and your son are safe, but so sorry this happened to you. I think it does help to "talk" about these matters with sympathetic friends, and you have an overabundance here.

Sam

 

Tiggeroshii

(11,088 posts)
67. I'm glad he is safe. I lost a co-worker and former classmate in that rampage, so I totally feel how
Tue Dec 8, 2015, 01:34 AM
Dec 2015

this has hit home.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»The San Bernardino mass s...