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How do you get rid of a 'bible thumper' away from your door?
Just had one and when I said I didn't believe in it, he asked why. I told him I thought is full of crap, then shut the
door. I know, a lot of people are believers, but then some aren't. Why do they keep trying to convince you
that you really should believe? Every one can have their own opinion about anything.
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Logical
(22,457 posts)
Hepburn
(21,054 posts)...and won't he/she come in an join you in the orgy?
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)that's when the real show began. Think Robin Williams if he'd worked as a building inspector and spent most free time with their 5 boys. We miss him, but I don't think he and rural Georgia would be a good mix. Not nearly enough strangers coming to the door, for one thing.
stopbush
(24,788 posts)The problem with religious types is that they feel they're better people than others. The way to counter them is to point out how inhuman their beliefs are, and how loathsome their religious figures (like Jesus) are.
Person 2713
(3,263 posts)Say no thank you and close the door while they are asking the second question
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)
fredamae
(4,458 posts)participate in Corporate Christianity...Havva nice day....
People are - I thought according to the bible....supposed to keep it simple and pray/worship privately and without falderal and fanfare....
FLPanhandle
(7,107 posts)It's enjoyable to watch them squirm as the conversation goes on.
Now my wife will no longer allow me to answer when they come calling as she feels sorry for them. 
rurallib
(64,616 posts)had some time on my hands and he presented a fun opportunity.
Then I noticed he was sitting in his car across the street for about an hour after I thought he had left. Must have been praying for my soul. Bet I really ruined his day - heck maybe his life. I had a great time.
yawnmaster
(2,812 posts)before you untied him?
He has to be very dedicated to keep preaching even as he is tied up.
Maru Kitteh
(31,432 posts)It is a noble goal to spread reason and enlightenment.
Understand that those at your door, in their own mind, have the same goal.
They are most frequently poor or vulnerable persons with little effective education set out upon their task with the firm belief that your soul and their own may be improved and redeemed by their efforts.
Too often this bill of goods is sold as their quickest trip up the JESUS ladder because you know, HEY, if you don't have a bunch of money to give the church - you can work as a flat-foot and recruit other vulnerable suckers to cover your celestial debt.
In their vernacular; "have mercy."
Pose your questions kindly; challenge with kindness.
MohRokTah
(15,429 posts)I have yet to meet a door to door Bible thumper who knows the book better than I do.
Nay
(12,051 posts)and as we were talking, the Biblical idea that the sins of the fathers would be visited upon 7 generations, etc., was introduced -- I forget the exact details about how we got on the subject. Anyway, we explained to their boy, who was 8 or 9 years old, that God said that if his Dad did something really bad, that HE (the child), plus his kids and his kids' kids, would be punished for what his Dad did.
The kid looks at his parents in horror and anger and says, "THAT'S NOT FAIR!!"
We said: "We don't think it's fair, either, and that's why we don't believe in the Bible. It's full of wrong stuff like that."
I've often wondered whether that kid stayed in his religion, or whether that lit a fire in him to get out.
Boudica the Lyoness
(2,899 posts)on our property trying to push their rubbish, "If you get injured these buggers will let you bleed to death". That and other stuff I shouted at them made them never bother us again. Up until that time they were regular trespassers - they were actually sniffing around our farm shops/barns etc looking for people to bother.
thucythucy
(9,063 posts)My sense of it is more like: if you're part of a generation of war mongers, and you wage aggressive war against other nations, your children's children will still be suffering the consequences. Or if you abuse your kids, your abuse will live on in how your kids treat your grandkids, and how your grandkids treat their kids, etc.. In that way, the sins of the fathers will be visited upon the children, unless there's some effort to redress whatever injustice is happening. That's how I see it, anyway.
Many years ago I had the dubious pleasure of having to sit next to a fundamentalist in a crowded bus traveling across country. I knew we'd be together for hours and hours. When he began his Jesus pitch, asking if I was "saved" I told him this conversation can only end in one of two ways. Either he'll admit that his conception of God, Jesus and the Bible is flat out wrong, or, before that happens, he'll end the conversation and we'll ride alongside each other in blessed silence.
It helps that I have a pretty good working knowledge of the Bible. Anyway, we got to a point after an hour or so where he asked me, "How do you know God didn't send me here today to save your soul?" And I said, "How do YOU know God didn't send ME here today to save YOUR soul?" I had already explained how his conservative, Republican leaning version of 'Christianity' was an absolute perversion of everything Jesus taught and said. "Jesus was big on forgiveness, EXCEPT for those hypocrites who push their religion on others, while ignoring the plight of the sick, the poor, and the oppressed. How many people have you visited in jail? When was the last time you sold all your possessions and gave the money to the poor?" He pondered all that for a moment, and then said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
There were other folks on the bus, listening in, who actually applauded. Anyway, kudos on getting that kid to think. Any belief system that can't endure honest questioning isn't worth the time of day.
Nay
(12,051 posts)correct what we said (if your interpretation is correct), so I assume they must read the verse as we did. I like your interpretation better, but you gotta admit that part of the problem with the Bible is that it's not very clear . . .
thucythucy
(9,063 posts)That's often the case with anything written and/or edited by committee. Not to mention originally transcribed from an oral tradition, and then (mis)translated over the millennia.
I see the Bible less as "the word of God" than a record of people's encounters with what they perceived to be divinity, and their attempts to explain and define what they experienced. Wish I had a time machine to check it all out for myself!
Anyway, best wishes, and happy whatever you celebrate, or don't celebrate, whatever the case may be.
etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)She may be the sweetest chicken hearted dog on earth .... but people see a pit bull and leave when asked
woodsprite
(12,566 posts)She's always willing to bark the house down and show them her big white teeth. 
theislander
(35 posts)Offer red wine, saying this is holy goat blood.
honeylady
(167 posts)My grandmother was a J.W. Tried to turn me into one. Didn't work. The "Witness" in Jehovah Witness is the key. That's what they are supposed to do. Witness to people about the Truth. It is their absolute duty given to them by Jehovah to convert as many people as possible. I just tell them that my Grandmother wasn't able to do it after years of trying and they're certainly are not going to do so "I really don't want to waste your time." It usually works.
Hepburn
(21,054 posts)I have never had any of them stay when I said, "No thank you." It's the Mormons that are the ones that will NOT go away.
safeinOhio
(37,206 posts)Hepburn
(21,054 posts)There's a good chance of a lot of those people being Mormons.
DamnYankeeInHouston
(1,365 posts)
dixiegrrrrl
(60,148 posts)
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Thanks for posting it.
notadmblnd
(23,720 posts)Mowing acres of grass, a small construction project such as building a shed or putting up a fence, or moving your landscaping rocks. Preferably in really hot weather. They won't tell you no. Course you'll have to listen to them proselytize however, you'll be able to sit back and drink beer while you're getting all your nag jobs completed. They might come back a second time, but I can guarantee- they won't come back a third.
Hepburn
(21,054 posts)As to the JWs, I find that they are honest and hard working. I used to employ JWs on holidays so that I did not have clean and put food away after Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. They do not celebrate these holidays and it was just a work day to them. I love to cook and wear myself out doing it...so having someone come in after the feast and take over while I can sit with company and have dessert served to all of us...well, that is MY idea of heaven!
notadmblnd
(23,720 posts)Which is always an added bonus.
Frank Cannon
(7,570 posts)It saves them from having to go around knocking on doors, and it breaks up the crushing monotony of just being a Mormon missionary.
notadmblnd
(23,720 posts)no radio, no books, no TV. No outside influence what so ever for 24 months.
fleur-de-lisa
(14,704 posts)They will do shit for you if you listen to their bullshit? I've been paying a guy for years to do handy man work at my house! And, on top of listening to his bullshit (not religious, but general bullshit) he's a really loud talker (may be suffering from some hearing loss). He unintentionally scares the crap out of my cat!
Unfortunately, I live in New Orleans. Almost all religious people here are Catholic and they won't do shit for anybody. Too busy drinking and fornicating, then confessing their sins, is my guess.
truth2power
(8,219 posts)I don't see any reason to be hateful to them. Or Mormons, either.
My stock phrase is, "It's not my path".
A couple Summers ago I had an extended discussion with two Mormon young men doing their missionary work door-to-door. Talking about religion and spirituality in general. It was interesting. But, again, "It's not my path". There are many paths, though.
treestar
(82,383 posts)Probably no way to get them to be truthful about it.
tammywammy
(26,582 posts)My mom's a nice lady that talks to her, so she'll probably be visiting until the day my mom dies. My mom isn't interested in converting, but she'll never be rude or anything to the JW. She recycles her copy of The Watchtower they give her. Lol.
Andy823
(11,555 posts)And I though Mormons did also. I used to be one, but found out that the "truth" they talked about was not from God, but from some men in New York that wanted to control people with made up BS they came up with all on their own. Their shunning policy destroys families, their no blood policy had killed thousands, and their view that they and they alone will survive the big A, and everyone else will perish is also crap. The majority of them are simply hypocrites who do not practice what they preach.
hobbit709
(41,694 posts)
CaliforniaPeggy
(156,313 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)But I haven't had any problems with them in years.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)intercom in a dark passageway.
GoCubsGo
(34,755 posts)I tend not to open the door for people I don't know as it is.
Grammy23
(6,099 posts)If I look through the hole, don't recognize the person, don't see a badge or fireman etc. on the other side, the door stays closed. That includes most kids peddling candy, candles and wrapping paper. I feel NO obligation to open my door to anyone that I do not wish to encounter. This also applies to phone calls. No caller ID? Let machine answer. Don't recognize number? Machine picks up. I used to feel a twinge when I didn't answer but now I just smile knowing I stymied their attempt to sell me something or scam me!
Logical
(22,457 posts)
gratuitous
(82,849 posts)Nothing wrong with being kind. There's a lot of negativity in the world.
L. Coyote
(51,134 posts)in a sort of ploy that get more invites to come in out of the cold, making their annual attempt to convert everyone around them. They fixed that problem one year by swinging open the door wide and standing there naked. The JW's never returned and the door wasn't open very long at all. Permanent solution, get on their black list of irredeemable and unapproachable sinners.
So I passed along this expose to a friend, who then remembers it wrong and in her memory substitutes me, the teller, for a real perp making peepers of freepers, and she had been retelling for two decades the story with me as heroic nude fighting the annual plague of the missionaries.
ucrdem
(15,720 posts)Like, "how nice you look today" if they're wearing their Sunday finery in 110+ heat as is often the case in my humble burg.
PersonNumber503602
(1,134 posts)In the past I just didn't answer the door. In the few cases they caught me outside, I just said no thank you and they moved along. I never had any who behaved annoying enough that I felt the needed to go on the offensive.
independentpiney
(1,510 posts)I haven't had one at my door for a few years but that worked like a charm when I did.
PersonNumber503602
(1,134 posts)independentpiney
(1,510 posts)A few expressed that they truly believed it had to be of demonic origin. None of them liked the idea of being proselytized to about a different belief system and they always left pretty quickly.
PersonNumber503602
(1,134 posts)Religion is such an odd thing to me.
RichGirl
(4,119 posts)If you are a woman...you say, excuse me but my WIFE has dinner ready, would you care to join us?
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)Or just thanking them for giving up their seat for you.....since seating to thier shindig is limited....144,000 I believe it is...
Buzz Clik
(38,437 posts)
COLGATE4
(14,886 posts)by a JW who sent his little daughter (about 8) to hand me a pamphlet and then started reading a script to me while he stood back and watched. I suppose the thought is that nobody is going to turn a little girl dressed in her Sunday best away.
Orrex
(66,818 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)
backscatter712
(26,357 posts)Using your best shark-smile...
NV Whino
(20,886 posts)dixiegrrrrl
(60,148 posts)Census takers never showed up.
UPS guy drops my packages next door for some reason
We live at the end of longish driveway and are hard to see from the road, but a bit of the house CAN be seen.
and the Mormons find us.
I don't answer, the dog does, growling and snarling at the glass panes, leaving slobber everywhere.
They leave.
NV Whino
(20,886 posts)
2naSalit
(101,058 posts)a GS dog who never left the fenced yard unless he was going for a ride or if missionaries were heading up the driveway. If he was going for a ride, he waited impatiently for you to open the gate, if missionaries were heading up the drive, he was over the gate and chasing them noisily back to the road they'd never make it to the gate. Afterward the dog would obediently return to the gate to be let back in and get a treat for his good work... he only did this to missionaries.
Wounded Bear
(64,014 posts)You could put up a sign that reads:
and the second one just left.
2pooped2pop
(5,420 posts)I don't answer questions or engage in conversation.
yeoman6987
(14,449 posts)Bible thumper is a horrible description and really should not be used.
independentpiney
(1,510 posts)What do you find so horrible about it? And the door to door isn't limited to mormons and j-wits, there's other church groups that do it as well.
yeoman6987
(14,449 posts)There are a ton of commonly used phrases that are not used anymore for a good reason.
independentpiney
(1,510 posts)When they proselytize to people who have not invited it, they have exposed themselves and their beliefs to whatever reaction one might have, from amazed reception or polite rejection to annoyance, belittlement and ridicule.
Go Vols
(5,902 posts)"If I wanted to join a cult,I would have came to you" is my standard answer.
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)haikugal
(6,476 posts)It's what they do.
yeoman6987
(14,449 posts)haikugal
(6,476 posts)Who's they and who thinks they're winning?
I think we capitulate at every opportunity. Spineless is what you're supposed to think but it's probably closer to collusion.
This isn't a deep thought question...did you get lost?
yeoman6987
(14,449 posts)haikugal
(6,476 posts)Do they go door to door?
Person 2713
(3,263 posts)
GoneOffShore
(18,009 posts)And if that doesn't work, can we use fuckwits?
pintobean
(18,101 posts)with a smile on my face. When they continue on, I interrupt, saying that I'm really not interested, but I wish them luck with the neighbors, never loosing the smile.
This has always worked at my door. The only time it didn't work was with some guy on the street in Louisville, Ky. I lost patience with him continually calling my daughter and me sinners. I finally said "you're sinning right now, you stupid mother-fucker. When did your god give you the authority to judge us?" I apologized to my daughter, who was 16 at the time, when we walked away, but she thought it was great.
There's really no need to go asshole, unless they do.
3catwoman3
(28,921 posts)...probably familiar with the term, and not in the least horrified by it - 
pintobean
(18,101 posts)She was four, the first time I heard her say fuck. I have no doubt that she picked it up from me.
I apologized to her in case I had embarrassed her by being a jerk to the guy. Teens can easily be embarrassed by their parents.
hatrack
(64,539 posts)Then I remind them that they'll find the sidewalk directly behind them.
notadmblnd
(23,720 posts)I believed extra terrestrials put us all here. Probably didn't hurt that I was wearing a colander on my head at the time.
JudyM
(29,672 posts)DamnYankeeInHouston
(1,365 posts)of living in my new gated condo community. I was enjoying not having former students and others knock on my front door whenever. Now I have another reason to be happy; no sales of any kind.
WhiteTara
(31,229 posts)a "no thank you" followed with a door closing is usually very effective.
SamKnause
(14,826 posts)I then tell them to please stop coming to my house.
Then I close the door.
OregonBlue
(8,180 posts)
world wide wally
(21,836 posts)
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts) Nay
(12,051 posts) 
AngryOldDem
(14,180 posts)Well played, well played.
Renew Deal
(84,771 posts) Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)
Hekate
(100,133 posts) B2G
(9,766 posts)Don't answer the door in the first place.
elfin
(6,262 posts)"I am so sorry, I gave my soul to the Fred Astaire Dance Studio. Have a tap, tap, tapping day!"
With a big smile as I shut the door, laughing maniacally at their stunned looks.
Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)If you really dislike door-to-door canvassing, then put up a "No trespassing" sign.
Proserpina
(2,352 posts)it helps to be a polyglot. Did it this week at a bus station...
Facility Inspector
(615 posts)while you rack the shotgun.
AngryOldDem
(14,180 posts)1) If you see them in your neighborhood (they're hard to miss) and a little while later you hear a knock or the doorbell, don't answer.
2) If you answer, politely but firmly tell them you're not interested, wish them a good day, then close the door.
They're used to it, so I don't think twice. Some sects see it as their call to convert others -- I don't have to answer that call.
cheapdate
(3,811 posts)has no power here. Our house is protected by Freya and her Valkyries.
struggle4progress
(125,714 posts)
Siwsan
(27,826 posts)I listened to them, politely. They were both very pleasant and not trying to push any specific dogma. I wasn't even tempted to pull my usual, "We are Orthodox Druids" line. They even helped me wrangle the cat, who took advantage of the open door.
If these people aren't obnoxious to me, I try to be patient (as long as they aren't interrupting anything important) and if they start to get carried away, I politely cut them off with the Druid line, and say goodbye.
You don't look Druish.
The River
(2,615 posts)at the front gate.
Maedhros
(10,007 posts)I've had Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormon missionaries, and various other evangelists come to my door. I simply tell them that I'm secure in my beliefs but I respect their commitment to theirs. I then offer them a drink of water or use of the bathroom, and they thank me an are on their way.
Egnever
(21,506 posts)They genuinely believe they are trying to help you. Not sure why so many feel they must be rude to them.
Shows the cruel side of DU if you ask me.
Walk away
(9,494 posts)They were dropped off in vans and spread out like rats in a maze! They always had arm full of pamphlets and wore "Sunday" clothes.
Look out your front window and don't answer the door when you see them.
Also, try a small sign by the door bell that says "No Solicitations"
If all else fails, do what I did. Answer the door in you Halloween red cape and devil horns and ask them for a donation to Beelzebub!
Manifestor_of_Light
(21,046 posts)It was a stick-on on the door about 8 inches long. I was in 60s ranch style suburbia.
Everybody ignored it.
I had one idiot knock on my door trying to sell something. I said, "Can't you read the NO SOLICITING sign?" He said, "I was not soliciting." Idiots don't know what it means.
I had some JW's in little old lady shoes park in front of my house. Little old lady shoes have a high cork wedgie heel, are ugly black lace ups with a triangular toe hole. I had an old bag teacher in the fourth grade that wore them.
One came up my side walk. She said "would you like to come to a celebration of Jesus?" I said "Didn't you see the no soliciting sign on my door?" "Didn't you see the NO SOLICITING sign on the entrance to the subdivision at the end of my street?"
No answer. She hotfooted it outta there. Then I went out in the drive way when they were leaving and stared intently at their back license plate to memorize their number. That really gave them the incentive to drive off.
Now I live in a more rural area but still inside a town. I have a fence completely around the property with an electric gate for cars and a keyed gate for walking through. No intercom. You ain't coming in unless I know who you are and know you're coming and you called first, because I'm tired of people with no boundaries begging for money for beer and cigs or work, when they won't show up to work, and I know it. The JWs STILL attach their propaganda to my car gate.
At least they can't bother me personally anymore. Wish I'd had a fence in Houston.
jwirr
(39,215 posts)to answer the door for them.
Interesting story. Lived for a while in a small community that was half Catholic and half Lutheran. Our minister and the priest were good friends so they set up an early warning system. Church members were told to call the church if one came knocking on their door. Which ever church was given the call they called the other church - each church activated their call committee and within several minutes all the members from each church turned up the volume on their radios and refused to answer the door. Problem solved.
blogslut
(39,110 posts)They're usually pretty accepting when I say "I'm not interested." as I close the door.
What bothers me are those teenage kids who try to sell me magazine subscriptions so they can 'pay for college'. It's a really troubling scam situation and these poor children (usually runaways) are nothing short of indentured servants.
I tell them: "The moment you leave I'm calling the sherriff's office to let them know you guys are in town. Also, the sherriff's office is two blocks over and two blocks down from my place and if you take off running now, that pervert in the van, down the street, won't be able to catch you. Fly little birds, fly!"
Cal Carpenter
(4,959 posts)Haven't seen any in a while, but that's because I'm rarely at home these days. Ever since I googled it once and read a million horror stories, I always have the urge to ask them if they need help
Tierra_y_Libertad
(50,414 posts)They get a kind of "Now, what do I do?" look and hand me a pamphlet.
giftedgirl77
(4,713 posts)
I have a sign next to my door that has a man & woman holding a bible with a no symbol stamped on top. Bought it online. It gets the point across.
Vinca
(53,579 posts)Sometimes I enjoy messing with their heads - like the time I got them to admit the Bible was fiction. Other times, if I don't feel like talking to them, I just ignore them. They stand on the porch and bang on the door and nobody answers. The only problem with this ploy is that sometimes they give it a second chance on their way back down the road.
sorefeet
(1,241 posts)two old guys pull in and ask if I knew how to read the bible because to some it was hard to understand. 20 minutes ago I didn't really know what I would say. So I just told them I plain out was not a believer anymore. He said he has talked to several people who felt the same and was it because of hypocrisy??? I told him that was correct I can't participate in the hypocrisy and how Christianity is being divided by extremist. They ask to read a passage, I said yes. After that I said I had complete respect for their beliefs but being indoctrinated as a Christian at childhood I just can't participate with a clear mind anymore. We shook hands and they left. 100% polite.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)A dead guy from the Judea of approx. 2,000 years ago just is not returning to Earth and "saving" believers. It's just not happening. That's lunacy. I don't need to consider that a valid, respectable belief. There's zero evidence that that mythology is "true."
However, I DO have respect for their right to believe these loony beliefs.
sorefeet
(1,241 posts)say Arugula Latte. It came out close. I do agree with you. I just can't force myself to believe my INDOCTINATION as a child any longer. It brought me fear and confusion more than anything.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Childhood religious brainwashing does a lot of damage. I'm glad you "recovered" from it! 
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)"Please no solicitors nor religious proselytizing." It works!
You could also post this:
This is less polite:
Android3.14
(5,402 posts)It's a great way to have an entertaining afternoon. Better than watching a sitcom.
abakan
(1,996 posts)If that doesn't do it a big dog will.
ghostsinthemachine
(3,569 posts)the second I see em on my block.
BarbaRosa
(2,730 posts)Now it's a no-thank you and close the door (not slam).
CTyankee
(67,922 posts)I guess I could ask them if they would like to rub my mezuzah the former owner of our house left it intact right in the doorway and we like it...
AzDar
(14,023 posts)MillennialDem
(2,367 posts)place we don't get any.
I wish because I would totally answer the door naked. I'm a non-op trans woman.
ladyVet
(1,587 posts)Or maybe raise a few. 
I'm polite but firm. I tell them we aren't Christians and aren't interested in learning about it. I've told some I'm pagan, if they were insistent. I will not take their literature.
I did get pissed one time when we lived in a trailer park. My youngest was about four, and I'd had to get a dog lot to keep his toys from wandering off. One day he was playing on his climbing thing (big plastic cube with ladder and slide), and I'd stepped inside to get him a juice box. I heard some voices, and when I went back out, some woman was inside the fence talking to him.
Let me tell you, she had a new asshole by the time I was done with her. Not only was she talking to a four year old about something he could in no way understand, but she'd undone a latch and gone inside, standing within inches of him. She was half a second from getting her ass shot, and I told her so. I told her if she or anyone from their church ever came back, they'd better have the coroner following them, because they'd need him.
Cassiopeia
(2,603 posts)Then I smile while they process that statement. They usually can't figure it out and try to engage some other way while the door is closing.
JoePhilly
(27,787 posts)Usually, I politely decline and they leave.
But sometimes it's a Baptist who doesn't want to stop talking until I accept Jesus.
If I have time, I'll start to argue that the complexity of life on earth demands that one accept the fact that there are many competing Gods, and their interests don't always align.
And that's why we have floods, earthquakes, starvation, and war.
Jesus, therefore, is at best one of these gods, and clearly he's not winning.
FloridaBlues
(4,659 posts)I have talked with most of them and said not interested in joining their religion but still come around !
inanna
(3,547 posts)right by the doorbell.
Whenever ANY unwanted visitors would come to the door - we'd silently point at the sign and then close the door gently.
LuckyLib
(7,048 posts)If that changes, we will call you."
We rarely get folks who can't read or ignore what they do read. Then I point to the sign.
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)If say you don't BELIEVE, that is their opening to convince you TO Believe.
Paula Sims
(913 posts)darkangel218
(13,985 posts) tularetom
(23,664 posts)Our driveway is like 500 feet long up a steep slope and there is only one other driveway within a mile in either direction. It's a narrow county road with basically no shoulders and it isn't very bicycle friendly.
No matter how determined these bible thumpers are, getting here is an effort that none of them seem willing to put forth.
a la izquierda
(12,273 posts)"My dogs don't like solicitors. Democratic political literature can be left in the mailbox." Nobody bothers me (and I do have three dogs that make a lot of noise when someone knocks).
JunkYardDogg
(873 posts)1. I have a sign in the front window , that says :
"NO JEHOVAHS WITNESSES"
I would post a pic of it here, but I do not know how to do that - DUH me
On Halloween, some of the older kids love it
2. On my SUV, I have 2 Fish stick ons :
one is the "Evolve" fish, the Witnesses have pulled it off twice when they come by
The second one is the Fish/Rocket Ship "Science" one, they don't fuck with that one, probably can't figure it out
Other of my responses:
1. One couple came by & put a Bible God flyer on the screen door, I heard them , took it and caught up to them on the sidewalk & told them to never put this shit on my house again & said "fuck your bible" numerous times
2. I have done the "Hail Satan" thing a few times, at other locations
3. The Mormies came by during the Prop 8 deal, I went off on that to them
At the Long Beach Grand Prix, years ago, a delusional Jesus freak would walk around, past the Grandstands with his Jesus sign
as he stood in front of our stand, I yelled at him :
"Jesus had a dick, show us your Dick" numerous times, he left fairly quickly
I say any shit I feel like to these bastards, they deserve it
Fuck em all, they are trying to shove their Christo Fascism down our throats & people are too polite to them
Prism
(5,815 posts)Could not get this guy to leave, even though I was standing there in boxers with a towel in my hand, clearly about to get in the shower. He wedged between the screen and door, talking right over and past me no matter what I said. Finally, after ten minutes, just to get him going, I said I'd think about it.
He came back 3 hours later for round two.
Granted, I had given in the past, so I assume I was on some address list they keep of probable donors. But man, that was really unpleasant.
For religious folks like Mormons, JWs, and local evangelicals, I just say I'm Catholic (I'm not any longer, but at least then I don't have to argue about God and Jesus). It usually ends politely after a minute or so.
Marr
(20,317 posts)Much as I dislike proselytizing, and even though I'm an atheist myself, I figure these people are out there doing what they think is right. Whether I agree or not, it's hard for me to see them as bad people or in any way deserving of insults. I tell them frankly that I don't believe in any religion, but if I'm not pressed for time I hear them out.
Also, I've made a collection of religious pamphlets. I find them weirdly interesting, in an anthropology sort of way. So I'm inclined to open the door and take the materials for my own selfish reasons, I suppose. 
valerief
(53,235 posts)
saltpoint
(50,986 posts)you could open the door and begin reading Allen Ginsburg's "Howl."
Don't stop for anything.
I'm pretty sure the thumpers will move on down the street.
Warpy
(114,507 posts)Hire one to sleep on your couch on weekends while you clear off for the day. You will be rid of religious pests within a month.
The Mormons acrually cross the street when they get to my house. The most I ever get is a religious tract stuffed into the door, no doorbells or knocking and certainly no contact.
SomethingNew
(279 posts)I've never had someone persist after politely telling them that I wasn't interested in talking. They usually just smile and wish me a nice day. Maybe try that approach?
CTyankee
(67,922 posts)etc. We have a service that does this so I tell them that and they accept it. If I feel I need extra help I tell them to go ahead...sometimes you never know if your scheduled helper will show up (usually they do) but some instances are a bit chancey. I go with my gut and try to end up with a happy medium for both the guy at the door and my husband and me. It usually works out ok...
bowens43
(16,064 posts)RKP5637
(67,112 posts)message is crap, they work all the harder to convince one they are right, so they feel accepted. For many religion is an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
TlalocW
(15,674 posts)I actually like messing with them.
In general I tell them they're welcome to tell me about their beliefs, but only if I can time them and then have the same amount of time to tell them what *I* believe. I've never had any takers on that.
Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons - who are the usual door-to-door knockers - can be handled more specifically but never better than what a friend of mine did. When a family of JWs came to her door, she kept them on the porch talking for a bit and then asked, "Is this your little girl? She's awfully cute." That put the JWs at ease, and they smiled as she squatted down to talk to the daughter, where she then said, "Did you know your mommy and daddy are in a cult? When you're older, if you can find your way back here, I'll give you sanctuary." Mom and dad grabbed daughter, lit out for the middle of the street where they made some mystical hand symbols (not a euphemism for flipping her off) at the house, and then went back to Kingdom Hall to tell everyone to avoid her house as she's never been bothered again.
As for Mormons, I had a pair of Mormon magic underwear and t-shirt that I would wear on Saturday mornings hoping they would knock on my door so I could answer it holding a beer in one hand and porn in another, but they never came around.
TlalocW
JanMichael
(25,725 posts)
grntuscarora
(1,249 posts)asked to see the man of the house. I politely said that I was the woman of the house and he could leave the pamphlet with me. When he asked again to see my husband, I really got ticked and muttered something like "we work as a team". He quickly excused himself, and I never saw him again, although we still find his tracts stuck in our picket fence twice a month.
He sure scared easily.
DrDan
(20,411 posts)LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)Same way I get rid of political canvassers doing precisely the same thing (with the same results as in your OP)... I say no thank you, and close the door.
KamaAina
(78,249 posts) 
Marrah_G
(28,581 posts)They generally can't get away fast enough.
haele
(15,209 posts)Politely tell them that you've studied religion and have actually read those books cover to cover, you have no use discussing other people's interpretation of what "universal truth" is - especially since you feel so badly when you end up converting them and getting them kicked out of the church that currently gives them so much comfort by telling them what they want to hear.
Say "Good luck with man's interpretation of God", smile pitiably at them and close the door.
Actually, for the most part, after I find out what they're at the door for "Excuse me for interrupting, but you're wasting your time here. All of us living here know what you're going to say and what all your arguments are going to be. There's nothing you can say to make us believe what your church requires of their congregation. Sorry I can't play with you guys. Goodbye." and close the door. If a foot gets in the way of the door,
Haele
briv1016
(1,570 posts)Brickbat
(19,339 posts) Enrique
(27,461 posts)that would be exceedingly rude, and while I know there are people capable of being that way, I don't 100% believe it.
KansDem
(28,498 posts)This was during the 1960s and her husband had long hair and a beard.
One day a couple of door knockers came to their house and when he opened the door they said, "We'd like to tell you about Jesus Christ." He responded by saying, "I am Jesus Christ!"
The door knockers didn't say another word and took off in a hurry! Never bothered them again.
Iggo
(49,767 posts)They eventually wander away on their own.
steve2470
(37,481 posts)That seems to work. I'm not going to waste their time, and they aren't going to waste mine.
Act_of_Reparation
(9,116 posts)Works like a charm.
we can do it
(13,014 posts)They turned and practically ran down the stairs. Haven't seen them since.
MosheFeingold
(3,051 posts)They are generally trained to know that the Mezuzah means that the occupants are Jewish, and so they move on without bothering us.
Exception being Jews for Jesus people, but they are few and far between.
CTyankee
(67,922 posts)I guess I could offer to let them "rub my mezuzah" and see what hilarity might ensue...
(I live on a block in New Haven that used to have many Orthodox Jews living here...it is now more diverse but that mezuzah is a nice reminder of my house's onetime owners. )
We still have many Orthodox families walking to the Orthodox shul on our block because we still have the lines running overhead (I am forgetting what they are called) directing their route. I used to see Joe Lieberman and his wife going to shul on Saturday...
My husband is Jewish and his daughter is a Reform Rabbi in AZ. I am not any faith even tho I have so many very religious folks in my diverse community of friends....
MosheFeingold
(3,051 posts)If you aren't Jewish, you should offer the Mezzuah to a Jewish family.
Not sure how it works with a mixed marriage, but ask your step-daughter.
(I am Orthodox and would probably give you advice you wouldn't care for --- but I am old enough to know that it is none of my damn business.)
CTyankee
(67,922 posts)You would love my step daughter. She is one of the most loving people in our lives right now and I couldn't be happier.
And I live in such a diverse (including Orthodox) community overall, I am pretty happy where it all is for me. New Haven is so wonderful!
Runningdawg
(4,660 posts)to New Orleans many years ago, I picked up a "voodoo" mask. It was worn in a parade, nothing harmful is attached to it. I brought it home, hung it on my front door and discovered its real magic - No salesmen, poll taker, or religious peddlers have knocked on it since.
B Calm
(28,762 posts)now and then. I tell them I don't believe in any religion and close the door.
Major Nikon
(36,925 posts)In my town if you have a "No Soliciting" sign near your door, sales calls are against the law and that includes god pimps.
MrMickeysMom
(20,453 posts)Eastern Standard... War time...
Ask them if they would like a natal chart and a reading for $120, cause you're having a special.
Isn't that better?
Hekate
(100,133 posts)When I was in college I worked 20 hours a week, and on Sundays had to be at the department store by 10 a.m. Invariably the Jehovah's Witnesses would knock on my door just as I was cooking myself an egg, counting down to when I had to catch the bus.
I quickly learned NOT to engage them in any dialog whatsoever. Same with the Mormons. If they are out knocking on doors, it is with a set purpose in mind. They already have all the answers. They have a script. There is no true exchange of ideas.
Why get aggravated? Just send them on their way with words of peace.
Ikonoklast
(23,973 posts)For years, I worked nights, usually put in sixty to seventy hours a week.
Sleep was precious to me, and when someone interrupted my rest they would catch some of that fire and brimstone they believed in.
I had a No Soliciting Of Any Kind sign clearly posted, and the only assholes that routinely violated that were the god-botherers.
I had my doorbell disabled, so when they figured out nothing happens when they rang it, they would then bang on the storm door.
I was not nice to them.
Not at all.
If you don't care about my wish to be left alone, I don't care if I hurt your feelings.
Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)If they act like they want to talk longer, I tell them I am busy, which is always the truth too.
HeiressofBickworth
(2,682 posts)who would tell JW's and Mormons, "I don't peddle my shit in your neighborhood and I don't appreciate you peddling your shit in mine."
About 20 years ago two old ladies came to the door with the Watchtower. I politely said I wasn't interested as I am an atheist. One of them said "how can you believe there is no God?" I sweetly said, "I accept it on faith."
Just a year or two ago, a JW couple came to the door. I had a very civil conversation with the man about atheism; he thanked me and left.
Now that we have a dog (a real barker!), if I don't want to answer the door (there's a window in the door) I just say the dog won't let me answer the door. With him barking and howling, they get the message and leave.
Erich Bloodaxe BSN
(14,733 posts)But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
Katashi_itto
(10,175 posts)the door screaming "PRASISE JESUS....!!!!!"
"JEUESUS NEEDS A BLOOD SACRIFICE.....!!!!
Think I have almost given two so far near heart attacks.
I keep hoping.
I used to get them regularly, so I came up with this method. Now it's been 7 months since the last.
I feel left out.
AnnieBW
(12,658 posts)Or, better yet, "Honey, the sacrifice is here!"
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)The first example: to get to the main intersection near our house we have to walk through the small park. Last summer there were three women who had their religious materials and a video player and they were trying to recruit me. I watched the video and then proceeded to argue with them for awhile. I had nothing better to do and it was fun. Hoping next summer they remember who I am and leave me the fuck alone.
The second example: there are intercity buses here in Korea that go directly from one city to another. I was at the bus stop waiting for the bus and there was a woman with a large sign that said "Jesus is coming" and "666" and had a picture of a computer chip that was supposedly going to be implanted in our heads. She was Korean and probably didn't speak much English, but I walked up to her and told her that I already had the chip in my head (and pointed to the sign and then my head). I think that freaked her out.
ProfessorGAC
(76,173 posts)I've done it twice. I tell them "God told me this morning you were going to come by. He wanted me to tell you you have it wrong. Do you want me to tell you what you need to believe?"
What can they say? They don't believe that God talks to people? Their whole deal is based upon god talking to people.
Did it once with LDS, once with JW. They left at warp 5 and never came back.
Spider Jerusalem
(21,786 posts)When I answer the door and see a pair of nicely dressed middle-aged women or young men in short-sleeved button-up shirts with clip-on ties I say "sorry, not interested" and shut the door in their faces. I don't care to have any conversation with them, I'm not buying what they're selling and saying more than that is a waste of everyone's time.