Diners Deliver Scolding Note to Mom and Screaming Toddler

[chalmers]

http://www.eater.com/2015/10/6/9464515/restaurant-diners-leave-note-screaming-child

Most patrons of casual dining chains have likely come to take the presence of rowdy kids in stride, but not two women in Idaho. Annoyed by a screaming child at the next table, diners at a Texas Roadhouse in Boise chose to passive-aggressively deliver a note to air their frustrations, says KTVB.

Katie Leach says she was having dinner with her family when her 10-month-old son began yelling excitedly, despite her attempts to quiet him. About halfway through the meal, two middle-aged women "slammed a disapproving note down on Leach's table" and returned to their seats. It read, "Thank you for ruining our dinner with your screaming kid. Sincerely, the table behind you."

Rather than bending to the whims of the complainants, the restaurant manager sympathized with Leach; he comped the family's meal, and told the women "they could finish their dinner, but then had to leave quietly." A rep for Texas Roadhouse told the news station, "We are proud to be loud. If you want to hear clinking wine glasses and clinking forks, then this probably isn’t the place for you."

[Scootaloo]

1. Fuck's sake, it's a place named TEXAS ROADHOUSE

if you go there expecting to hear the nostril-wind of someone four tables over, you made a fucking wrong turn.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

20. And they have peanuts hulls all over the floor and nobody expects it to be...

...any other way there.

Great sirloin steak, btw.

[SusanCalvin]

39. Not my experience!

Edited to add that I mean the food sucks as well.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

81. I've never had a single bad experience, or meal, there. Not sure what your culinary...

...standards and expectations are.

[narnian60]

126. Agree.

Their salad with ranch dressing is the best I've ever had and the salmon is terrific, also.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

130. It's one of my favorite places to go back to over and over. I want to know from those who...

...look down their smug noses at Texas Roadhouse where we shoud eat ... er ... I meant dine.

And my next question would be: Can I afford to dine there and, if not, why should I be reminded by smug motherfuckers that those places I can afford have shit food?

[SusanCalvin]

225. Edible steak.

Please see "generic reply" for anything else I have to say.

[JackInGreen]

78. Honestly

I wouldn't expect a screaming baby at a "Texas Roadhouse", from the name I'd expect other screaming from the top of a mechanical bull or "HEY MABEL, BLACK LABEL" but a wee one, not so much.

[MH1]

210. I've been there with my brothers and their families. We were not quiet.

Not even a little bit. (the youngest person in our group was probably 35-ish, and the oldest 60-ish)

I don't think we would have even noticed a screaming child at the next table.

[Eleanors38]

177. Yeah, I let a clattering fart in one. No one noticed.

[edhopper]

2. I sympathize with the mother

but a wailing 10 month old at the next table would ruin my dinner as well.

I can see why the women were upset.

Of course I avoid "casual dining chains" like the plague.

[Oneironaut]

3. They handled this like a-holes.

They couldn't even use words. Who writes a note and slams it in front of someone? Very cowardly.

Every Texas Roadhouse I've ever been to was loud. Not a place to go if you want quiet.

[edhopper]

5. This was from the mothers pov

It could very easily have been that they did not make a scene by speaking out and getting into an argument, but wanted to let the mother know, so they left a note.

Was it "slammed"? did it look like the mother did all she could?

We only have her side.

[Oneironaut]

7. The very existence of the note is silly.

Grown-ups would get slightly annoyed, pay their bill, and then leave. Leaving a snippy, whiny note is childish. What did they want to let the mother know? That their precious time was ruined by noise in an already noisy place? Well boo-hoo...

I've sat near crying children before. It was irritating, but I would never think to act like a jerk.

[edhopper]

10. we disagree,

and so it goes.

[liberalhistorian]

17. Bingo! They were nasty and cowardly

and just what did they expect the mother to do? Trust me, she already KNOWS that her baby is making noise. I've raised a child, and I've sat near or around screaming kids. Annoying as hell, I agree, but I understand what parents are dealing with and families also have a right to leave their homes and enjoy a night out. They may not get to do that a lot.

Now, if this had been a tony, upscale, fancy hoighty-toity place where wine is a million dollars a glass and they charge forty dollars for a dinner consisting of two tiny scallops on a plate and everything else is ala carte, then the women would have had a point because that's not the place to take young children or boisterous families and that would, indeed, ruin what people would expect to be quiet, intimate dinners. But this was Texas Roadhouse, for Christ's sake, where noise and boisterous families are a part of the decor and to be expected. If you don't want to be bothered by noise when you're out and about, then stay at home.

[SusanCalvin]

42. If the child is making excessive noise, take it out.

So would say my mother, and so say I.

And I don't care what the price point was.

[Hortensis]

116. Not the price point, so much as perhaps the restaurant style?

I agree with you but think the character of the noise and of the location are important factors in deciding what is "excessive."

Unhappy noise, of course, becomes "excessive" to most everyone extremely quickly (and the noise from angry parents' excessively irritating immediately). Most people, though, are comfortable with, and many specifically enjoy, happy noise in family restaurants. The manager's reaction in this case suggests it was probably normal level for that particular restaurant.

Once we and people in two other booths begged an embarrassed mother of a tiny baby to stay and eat. The fussy cries of a tired baby before going to sleep were not at all too obnoxious to any of us. A nice memory.

BTW, we also did not allow "excessive noise" of either sort in public from our children and did also immediately take them out if necessary. Once past toddlerhood it was seldom a problem, but I do remember a number of times when one of us got to sit in the car with our own fussy babies while the other ate.

[LibDemAlways]

157. I once posted here about a screaming kid

who ruined my restaurant lunch and was told by a number of DUers that if I didn't like it, I should have stayed home. I shit you not. Seems that some people feel that you surrender your right to an enjoyable dining experience when you enter a restaurant because there might be a moron present who isn't smart enough to remove a screaming child.

When my daughter was small, we took her out at the first sign of a restaurant melt down. That's the polite way to handle it. Those who inflict their screaming children on others are idiots. Period.

[smirkymonkey]

199. Hear, hear!

I swear, this place has pushed me to the right somewhat because of the extreme idiocy of the far left.

[liberalhistorian]

168. Well, then, if you and your mother say so,

then I guess that settles that and no more needs to be said!

And it depends on what is meant by "excessive." To some people (unfortunately, far too many), any time a baby or toddler opens its mouth is considered "excessive."

[Dorian Gray]

212. This is the crux of the issue

what exactly is excessive?

I suspect because the manager comped the mom's meal, it wasn't as bad as the ladies who left the note would lead you to believe. (anonymously and cowardly, of course.)

[titaniumsalute]

62. I call BS

Yes the patrons acted like idiots throwing down a note on the crying kid's table. That is just bad behavior.

However, as a parent of (now grown) two kids who ate out many times it is the parent's responsibility to gauge what level of disturbance should go on in public. Of course kids are kids. They make noise, they cry, they fuss. That's life. Many times a parent can calmly get them to stop making a disturbance. In public I expect to hear kids and be subjected to them acting normal. But when you have a child going off the deep end in public I think parents have a duty to limit the exposure of that disturbance. I don't care if it is a McDonalds, a Texas Roahouse, or a 5 star.

We had a pastor years ago who wanted kids in his service. He didn't have a cry room, etc. in the sanctuary. That was fine except some took it to mean to leave the kids in the service even if crying/fussing loudly. No one could hear many times which made it kind of useless to sit in a church service.

Airplanes...well that is a different story. I used to fly all over for work and many times got the screaming kid within a few seats. Yes a nerve test for sure but I'd always really sympathize with the parents in that case.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

86. I have raised my kids and I would get annoyed if they screamed

When my child started screaming (and, yes, being normal kids they may have screamed), I REMOVED them from the table and walked outside. And whenever I see a parent temporarily removing a child from a restaurant, I try to give them encouragement and a quick smile "Oh, I remember those days! This, too, shall pass," or some such other comment. The fact that a child begins to act out is not a problem - the problem is when the parent ignores it and doesn't give a crap about the other people who are spending their hard-earned money to go out.


People who sit idly by while allowing their children to scream deserve disdain. And don't give me that I feel sorry for the tired, working mother crap: if she's so tired she can order takeout or pickup and go home where her tired, cranky child will be more comfortable. Been there, done that.

[smirkymonkey]

90. Hear, hear!

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

102. I have no patience for parents raising special snowflakes.

None.

For goodness' sake, I am a grandmother! I've done my time, now let me eat in peace. haha

Seriously, anyone who thinks a screaming kid three feet away is the same thing as music and other loud ambient noise doesn't get out much.

[LibDemAlways]

158. This. ^^^^^^^

[frogmarch]

162. Well said!

My kids knew better than to act up in public because mr. froggy and I told them we'd take them to the car to let them carry on in private if they did. They never acted up in public.

My first child's pediatrician gave mr. froggy and me some advice when our son was just a few weeks old. Dr. Morrell said he gave the advice to all his new parents. He said one of the best gifts a parent can give to a child is to teach the child manners so that the child knows how to get along in the world. He said that when parents love their child, it's natural that they'd want other people to love them too, and teaching a child good manners is one way to that end.

Edited to add that it's not good manners for kids to scream and cry in public places where their carrying on can disturb others. Babies don't know any better, but parents should, and they should take the baby to their car or somewhere else private to quiet the baby, just as they should with older kids.

We weren't very strict parents, but we expected our kids to behave well in public, and they did. No scolding or spankings, we just made sure they knew we meant it when we said don't do it.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

170. Yes!

" He said that when parents love their child, it's natural that they'd want other people to love them too, and teaching a child good manners is one way to that end."

So very well said. I think many of us know children - whom through little fault of their own - we disliked being around.

[we can do it]

222. Yes, those parents who tune out screaming and ignore the kids are especially bad.

[sammythecat]

226. Applause from me too!

Very well said.

[smirkymonkey]

89. Grown ups would take their obnoxious, mis-behaving children out of the restuarant until they

could calm down and behave themselves. Loud is one thing, but nothing is quite so annoying as a screaming toddler.

[Dorian Gray]

13. They should either deal with it

or verbally complain. The note is the coward's way.

[edhopper]

33. or did't want to make a scene.

[SusanCalvin]

49. Whatever gets the point across is fine with me. nt

[SusanCalvin]

52. If I'm paying,

I'll get my point across any way I want short of a punch in the nose.

[Orrex]

67. But that simply reveals you as self-important and entitled.

Realistically, unless you know the person whose child is causing the disturbance, you have four grown-up options:

1. Politely ask the customer to quiet her child
2. Complain to the manager
3. Leave the establishment
4. Suck it up, because frankly it's not that big a deal

That's it. You can imagine yourself to have all sorts of rights and privileges, but unless she breaks the law or violates the site's policies, then she and her noisy child have as much right to be there as you do.

[SusanCalvin]

71. If I'm paying, I sure am entitled.

To a reasonably undisturbed meal.

[Orrex]

75. Then in that case, you have four grown-up options

1. Politely ask the customer to quiet her child
2. Complain to the manager
3. Leave the establishment
4. Suck it up, because frankly it's not that big a deal

That's it. You can imagine yourself to have all sorts of rights and privileges, but unless she breaks the law or violates the site's policies, then she and her noisy child have as much right to be there as you do.

[SusanCalvin]

77. I heard you the first time. Wasn't interested that time either. nt

[Orrex]

79. Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your tantrum.

[elehhhhna]

197. Lol orrex

[Dorian Gray]

214. heh

[Demit]

83. The mother of the screaming child had options, too.

The option she chose was to subject everyone in the restaurant to the prolonged sounds of her noisy child.

[Orrex]

85. And both the manager and the company rep approved it

That is, the complainers' complaint is with the company's policy, and not with the parent or the child.

But it's more satisfying to throw a tantrum and scold the parent, so that's what they did.

[Demit]

93. Yes, the mother now knows she need never be considerate of other diners again.

Because the restaurant reinforced her inclination to put her needs above everyone else's. Her child will learn that too, no doubt. Never mind everyone else! It's what *you* want that's important.

[smirkymonkey]

101. +1000

[Orrex]

109. Then your complaint is likewise with the company and not with the parent

Yes, the mother now knows she need never be considerate of other diners again.

That's a trifle hyperbolic, don't you think? Since you know nothing of this woman's circumstances, you're simply taking this opportunity to issue prophecy about the child's destiny.

Ultimately you're engaging in the same self-righteous preaching as those types who love to scold people who buy soda with their foodstamps, as if it's any of your damn business. It almost certainly doesn't affect you as much as you want to think it does, but it gives you a golden opportunity to cast yourself as victim. Further, as I've correctly noted already, unless the mother or child is violating the law or the company's policies, then they have as much right to be there as you do, and that leaves you with four grown-up options:

1. Politely ask the customer to quiet her child
2. Complain to the manager
3. Leave the establishment
4. Suck it up, because frankly it's not that big a deal

I vote #4.

[Demit]

115. You are correct. Everyone has the 'right' to be obnoxious.

Whether or not it serves you well in life is another matter.

[Orrex]

140. That's a good point

And in the situation described, we can either have an obnoxious child or an obnoxious adult who throws a tantrum about the child.

Who, in the end, do you think will look more ridiculous?

[Demit]

142. The person who keeps calling writing a note a 'tantrum'.

[Orrex]

145. The article said that they "slammed" the note on the parent's table

That's a tantrum. If you wish to take issue with the events as reported, then take it up with the person who wrote the article.

It's funny that we have upwards of a dozen nominal adults in this thread telling us how eager they are to confront the hypothetical parent, yet somehow it's the parent who has issues of control.

[edhopper]

146. the mother says they slammed it

hardly objective. The whole article is her pov.

[Orrex]

149. Do you have reason to assume that she's lying?

If you have an issue with the events as reported, then take it up with the person who wrote the article.

As verified by both the site manager and the company rep, both she and the child were acting in accordance with the restaurant's policies. The other patrons' complaint is with the restaurant's policies and not with the mother or the child.

[Proserpina]

202. There's also take-out

(for completeness' sake)

[Orrex]

203. I'd include that under #3.

[kcr]

96. Then get take out n/t

[liberalhistorian]

165. But the family is paying also, you are not the only

one in the damned restaurant. You sound more and more entitled with every post.

[we can do it]

223. So because one loud idiot is paying everyone else who is paying needs to deal with it?

Give me a break.

[Bettie]

211. So, you are the only person in a given restaurant that is paying?

The loud bunch of guys two tables over who are shouting and drinking aren't paying?

The family with three kids, one of whom is cranky isn't paying?

You are the only one in the restaurant whose wants matter?

I've been disturbed way more in my life by adults behaving badly than I have kids. At least kids have an excuse: they are young and still learning to navigate the world.

[pintobean]

88. Woo-hoo!

[SusanCalvin]

51. If the child was still there and screaming

After, oh, say 30 seconds, then, no, the mother definitely did not do all she could.

[edhopper]

95. It sounds like the child screamed throughout the meal

yet most hear are taking the mother's side and castigating the two women.

[liberalhistorian]

171. Because if the women wanted a nice, quiet dinner, they

should have chosen a less "casual" less family-style, boisterous restaurant. Even without babies and children crying and screaming, Texas Roadhouse and most similar restaurants, (especially sports bars and grills) are really very loud, noisy and boisterous. Crowds yelling over the sports games on the tvs in those places are far louder and more annoying.

[edhopper]

175. So you were there

and know what it was like during this meal?

[Proserpina]

201. Oh, how kind of them! I'm sure that mother was totally oblivious and needed the clue

WTF is wrong with people these days?

[edhopper]

205. You mean being oblivious

that your screaming infant might be disturbing other customers throughout a meal?

[EX500rider]

128. 'Every Texas Roadhouse I've ever been to was loud."

Exactly...I am not sure I could hear a baby crying they are so loud and noisy.

[HDSam]

194. My experience

as well. If it were a Charlie Palmer's or Ruth's Chris, I might agree with the complainants (though their method leaves much to be desired) but Texas Roadhouse is by design not a quiet dining experience.

It should be noted there isn't objective information on just how loud this kid was, could the note writers be overly sensitive to noise or was the kid really so far over the top it created a issue in an already rowdy setting? We'll never know. However, based on the inability to handle the issue like an adult, I'm leaning towards overly sensitive.

[DrDan]

228. I bet the waitstaff would be more than willing to help change tables

[edhopper]

229. Perhaps

we don't have the full story.

[treestar]

4. Kids never bother me

What I hate is older people talking about their medical conditions. My relatives will do this at dinner no matter how gross it is!

[edhopper]

6. I know

like I have a bad knee right now and it bothers me walking upstairs, and sometimes I get headaches from red wine.

But my aunt right now is having continence problems......

[dembotoz]

8. and the constipation....let me tell you the pain goes on and on

you fart and you fart but nothing

not a dribble....and then the hemorrhoids....like softballs i tell ya

and some are hard of hearing so they are loud like the pa system at a football game....

"now starting to cramp is Grand Ma number 2"

[Liberal_in_LA]

45. Ewwww

[lindysalsagal]

9. Screaming toddlers don't belong in restaurants.

McDonald's or burger king or wendy's are ok, but all else should not include over-tired toddlers. Get. A. Sitter.

Get takeout.

The few times I attempted it myself, I was always ready to grab the baby and take her to the car, and my husband stayed and payed the bill and got it wrapped to go. No big deal.

It's just the height of selfiness to force other people who did get a sitter to tolerate your screaming kid.

I got up and left a restaurant once when one came in and the kid was already screaming. "Check, please!"
Left 2 glasses of wine right on the table.

[liberalhistorian]

18. This was a casual family restaurant,

not a fancy upscale one. If you go to a place like Texas Roadhouse expecting peace and a quiet, intimate dinner, then you're the one with the problem.

[SusanCalvin]

43. I expect a reasonable environment, if I am paying. nt

[lindysalsagal]

117. Exactly. n/t.

[liberalhistorian]

172. THEY are paying also. Or is only

your time and money important? You don't wanna hear noise in even casual, family and/or fast food places? Then stay home, or get ear muffs.

[TeddyR]

189. Everyone at the restaurant is paying!

Maybe they couldn't afford a sitter and this was their once in a month night out? Regardless, kids cry sometimes and I see no problem with this. Donald Trump probably would have complained too.

[Chan790]

190. Not that I disagree with you...

but you sound like the sort of person that should and would never go to a Texas Roadhouse because your idea and expectation of a reasonable environment probably doesn't coincide with the actuality of the environment of a Texas Roadhouse restaurant.

[TeddyR]

192. Yeah

Been to a few different Texas Roadhouse's, and they are a bit like an Applebee's or Chili's, but generally louder.

[we can do it]

221. Me too.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

87. There a difference between background noise

even loud background noise and a screaming child seated right next to you.

[Judi Lynn]

23. So good to see your comment. Thanks. n/t

[AuntPatsy]

30. You obviously have never eaten there, the birthday wooden horse really increases the volume...

Kids will be kids, it's the adults who were out of line in this particular instance...

[SusanCalvin]

50. I don't even agree that fast-food sitdown is OK.

Can't behave? Take them home. My mom would agree.

[smirkymonkey]

91. +1000

[Mz Pip]

53. I agree

We rarely ate out with the kids and ours weren't screamers, but they were messy and got squirmy when they were bored. I never felt comfortable subjecting other patrons to their antics. Would you want to listen to a screaming child? If the answer is no then take the baby out or get a sitter.

[SusanCalvin]

54. Thank you. nt

[Bonobo]

59. Probably best to avoid going out of your own home if you want

control over the environment to that extent.

It's a messy world and without children, there would be no future.

[smirkymonkey]

94. Oh god, the "children are our future" argument!

lame

[VMA131Marine]

105. But true!

[smirkymonkey]

114. The kid could grow up to be another Hitler. You never know.

[lindysalsagal]

118. My inner anarchist is smiling....

[demosincebirth]

111. I agree 100 percent. Nothing will ruin a good dinner than rowdy or a screaming kid.

[Eleanors38]

179. Restaurant? What restaurant?

[Person 2713]

181. +1 we would just take a walk . Too cold ? walk to the bathroom

Not happy kids yelling but I have seen kids screaming very loud endlessly and no movement from a parent to help them or hush them as in it is OK
I imagine some may have loads in their pants the parents don't want to change at the moment because you know
the parent is busy eating
Even better when the parent is looking at their phone zoned out instead of the screaming kids
We call this grazing children not raising children. Like a buffet they pick and choose when to parent

[dilby]

11. Kudos to the Management

I am not a fan of screaming kids but I accept that I will occasionally be in their presence as a member of society. I estimate I have so far in my life eaten 14,600 dinners the first hundred or so I was the screaming child. But out of my 14,600 dinners only a couple were ruined by a screaming child and more of them were ruined be terrible food, I will take a screaming kid over bad food any day.

[Igel]

14. Depends on what you read into the story.

We are missing pieces.

Did the screaming last 2, 3 minutes? 20 or 30? Did the mother do make reasonable efforts to stop the screaming or just assume it would play itself out if she put up with it?

At home, we'd let our kid scream himself until he was exhausted and stopped. No reward, no reason for him to continue.

In public, however, we didn't demand everybody else respect us while we showed them no respect. The kiddo would scream and if it lasted more than a minute or two he'd be outside with one parent while the other parent ate. There he could scream himself silly. If he was still screaming when the first parent was done, the second parent would go in, eat, settle accounts, and we'd leave.

If it was one parent and the kid, we'd prefer having our meal ruined rather than insist on everybody else put up with the fit.

We expect to be in the presence of screaming kids from time to time. However, we also expect that prudent and reasonable measures be taken to keep this to just "from time to time." The reason that few dinners are ruined by screaming kids is that kids are taught early not to scream, kids who scream are not given opportunity to ruin others' dinners, or screamer-kids who must be in public are dealt with fairly quickly and unobtrusively. It's a question of mindfulness, being aware of others' presence, and of conscientiousness. If it's a matter of give and take, fine--but often it's mostly just a matter of take, without the corresponding "give."

Options are rather different on planes and trains so the rules have to meet the constraints. Hard to step outside with your kid to settle him down or remove the irritant.

[SusanCalvin]

44. Thank you. nt

[dilby]

73. The Texas Roadhouse advertises itself as a family restaurant.

If someone wants an environment where they won't have screaming kids there are other restaurants to choose from. You don't go to Chucky Cheeses and then act surprised there are kids there.

[smirkymonkey]

98. Very reasonable post on this subject!

Thank you!

[Yupster]

12. We always took our kid outside when he started up in a restaurant

There were days I remember when we tag-teamed -- my wife ate while I sat with him while he screamed outside and then she would come out and I ate. Not the most enjoyable dining experience, but we didn't ant to ruin other people's meal.

It seems few do this nowadays. Now they just let the kid scream.

[Boudica the Lyoness]

15. We did the same thing.

We were lucky and had a 14 year old son who could take a shift sitting the car with the baby as well. I would never let my crying baby spoil other people's night out. When my baby got to be toddler he was very well behaved because he didn't want to sit in the car.

These people who are letting their children misbehave are raising brats and will regret it one day.

[lindysalsagal]

29. +1000

Right about 7th grade. That’s wheñ kids start getting bàck at lazy, indulgent parents.

[smirkymonkey]

137. Who deserve everything they get.

But they are always the ones who are baffled by the fact that little Bratley didn't grow up to be a pleasant, easy going adolescent.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

35. Not only that, the manager comps their meal

Bratley will continue to act up with his parents egging it on.

[smirkymonkey]

99. Yep, there seem to be more and more Bratleys out there and fewer and fewer

considerate parents. They are doing the world or the child any favors by allowing this behavior to become the norm in public.

[greymattermom]

19. We did the same thing with our son

Now he's almost 40, father of two boys, and a very calm person. UI developer, so he has to be calm.

[840high]

27. Same here.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

92. Some people have more manners than others

You know...manners...one of the ways we teach our children to be considerate of other people.

There is nothing "compassionate" about allowing one selfish person to ruin the experience of many, imo. She might have been tired and frazzled. So other mights have been tired and frazzled. She may not have gotten the chance to eat out in a long time because her budget is tight. Well, eating out might have been a rare treat to the people sitting next to her. There's pretty much nothing you can say in her defense that might not apply to the people sitting nearby. She was tired? Maybe, they were tired.

If you are going out with a young child, expect to remove the child from the table if he begins to scream. That's good parenting and common decency, imo.

[smirkymonkey]

104. Thank you!

Thread winner!!

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

107. haha

I guess you can tell I'm not a fan of special snowflake parenting.

[smirkymonkey]

112. Neither am I, and it's really a problem these days.

My family and my friends do not behave that way with their kids. They recognize the fact that others are being annoyed by their children's behavior and take the child out of the restaurant until the tantrum is over. Or they just pack up and leave. I don't see why so many others just have no consideration for the impact their mis-behaving brat has on others.

[TeddyR]

191. Donald Trump probably says the same

"My family and friends do not behave that way," because we are better than everyone else and don't have to deal with crying kids. I mean, really, who lets their kids cry???

[smirkymonkey]

198. No, it's because their parents teach them how to behave when in public and

don't let their children rule the roost. The exert discipline when required and therefore their children have learned that there will be consequences if they act up in public. The problem is that too many parents are too lazy to do the right thing and everyone else has to put up with their ill-mannered little tykes. Kids cry and throw tantrums, but it's up to the parents to remove them from the situation and teach them that their behavior will not be ignored or rewarded.

[dumbcat]

16. Children under six should not be allowed

in sit down restaurants. And then only if previously vetted. I think 10 years old would be even better.

[PasadenaTrudy]

21. +1,000! n/t

[Warpy]

31. Some places, like this one in the OP, want the kiddies

Friends had a toddler who was great in restaurants. Other people had teenagers who were total assholes, opening their mouths full of mashed potatoes and leering at people as they'd walk by the table assholes. It's not aged based.

I'm convinced some people are just selectively deaf when it comes to their children.

I can cope as long as they're not running and screeching and/or throwing food. Then I complain.

[smirkymonkey]

139. If only!

[pintobean]

200. A simple rule of thumb for people like you

Stay away from restaurants that have a kids' menu.

[IDemo]

22. This is an old story

[Judi Lynn]

24. This isn't Late Breaking News. G.D. n/t

[IDemo]

25. But it's still old enough not to be relevant n/t

[SusanCalvin]

46. It is very relevant, IMHO.

It is one of the reasons I think several times before spending my money in a restaurant.

[840high]

28. Very old story.

[Docreed2003]

26. We go to Texas Roadhouse....

We go to Texas Roadhouse, which is basically five mins from our house, specifically because it is loud and we have kids! People need to lighten up. TR ain't fine dining. If their meal was ruined by a child crying, then the loud music in the restaurant would have done the same.

[SusanCalvin]

47. Well, if I knew you were coming I would have stayed home. nt

[Bettie]

58. A lot of people are simply annoyed by

the existence of children.

If they cry..."My dinner was RUINED!".

If they laugh..."My dinner was RUINED!".

If they make any noise at all..."My dinner was RUINED!".

If they dare to exist in the same space as them..."My dinner was RUINED!".

[SusanCalvin]

60. Take them home, then.

BTW, I actually like kids. Just not those that are allowed to behave inappropriately in public without being removed.

[Bettie]

183. Actually, aside from laughter

my kids are generally pretty good in restaurants.

They do talk loudly though, especially in a loud environment and they laugh, a lot.

Children's laughter really pisses some people off.

Too many people are far too ready to judge parents.

I hear all the time that kids should not be in any public space unless they are silent and stand or sit perfectly still.

I once got yelled at for my son (6 at the time) reading a label on a box. He moved out of the way of the person and kept doing it. I was told that grocery stores are not for kids.

When I see a kid who is obviously having a rough time, I just remember how hard it can be when they are very small and you need to be out and about.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

97. NOT TRUE. I have several kiddos and I'm annoyed

by selfish people who will not walkout until the child stops screaming when their child misbehaves.

I have been there, and done that. It's the polite thing to do and it's good parenting, as well. I can't stand selfish parents who think the universe revolves around their special snowflakes.

[Dorian Gray]

215. I can't stand

selfish people who judge a child's and parent's behaviour without knowing all their background circumstances.

And I'm the mother of a very well behaved five year old who does remove her from restaurants and public spaces when she misbehaves. Which is rare now. (Very hungry or very tired are only reasons why it may happen.)

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

220. I had to remove mine from time to time. I had nothing like perfect kids!

However, I would not let my kids cry and scream without taking them out.

And, yeah, "Mom" might be tired. It might be her treat for the week. But you can say that for the people sitting next to her, as well. Anything you can say about her to drum up sympathy, you can say about the people sitting near her, as well. We could rarely afford a babysitter and the price of a restaurant meal for many years, so I can assure you that when we went out, the last thing I wanted to hear was more crying kids. I heard that at home!

[IDemo]

69. It's probably 10 minutes from our house

but we've never been. We tried the Five Guys burgers up the street after they opened and the entire crowd was bellowing loudly for some reason. The burgers were passable but we have never been back.

[madaboutharry]

32. Texas Roadhouse is the noisiest place.

You can't hear anything in there anyway.

[Laffy Kat]

34. Screaming kids are part of the din of life.

You accept it when you go out in public.

[SusanCalvin]

37. Not if I am paying for dinner. nt

[Orrex]

66. Yes, even then.

The eight bucks you drop on an entree doesn't entitle you to tell everyone else in the room how to behave. If it is an issue for you, then bring it up with the site's management. If they do not resolve it to your satisfaction, then you are free to take your business elsewhere.

However inconvenient you may judge it to be, the world has other people in it, and some of them may not comport themselves in a way that prioritizes your sensibilities.

[SusanCalvin]

74. Well, that would be one of the reasons why

I think several times before spending my money in a restaurant. (Bad food, ambiance, and service are the other reasons.)

[Orrex]

76. That is entirely your option, and I encourage you to exercise that option

If a site's policies do not ensure your comfort and convenience to a degree that you deem satisfactory, then by all means you should consider taking your business elsewhere.

[SusanCalvin]

80. That's fine for me,

but the people who let their kids run amok are raising brats who will be adults some day. Oh well.

[Orrex]

84. How lucky they are to have someone willing to scold them for their parenting

You should publish your theories on proper parenting; you'll sell a million copies, and you'll be able to go to restaurants that ban noisy urchins from the dining room.

people who let their kids run amok are raising brats who will be adults some day.

Yes, they will presumably become adults some day, but I doubt that your ten minute exposure to these children gives you sufficient insight to plot their destiny. It's at least equally likely that they'll grow into adults who can't wait to chastise other parents for letting children befoul their dining experience, for instance.

Look, we get it. You really really don't like other people's children when they aren't simply "seen and not heard," and I'm sorry that someone's child might challenge your belief that your money grants you Special Snowflake privileges.

[smirkymonkey]

113. The only "Special Snowflakes" are these bratty children and their ill-mannered parents.

Let me guess, you let your kids throw tantrums in public and expect everyone else to just deal with it because YOU have to.

[Orrex]

138. Well golly! You've got it all figured out!

I have two children, thanks for asking, and they never behaved that way in public.

However, since I am both a parent and a grown-up, I have learned to respond to such situations with compassion and with an understanding of the limits of my authority. To wit, in a situation like this, you have four options:

1. Politely ask the customer to quiet her child
2. Complain to the manager
3. Leave the establishment
4. Suck it up, because frankly it's not that big a deal

If we really want to stretch it, there's also a 5th option: Ask sincerely if the parent needs help.

You are of course free to behave in whatever manner your righteous anger seems to justify, but you actually have limited authority to act unless you're willing to be a jerk about it, and I'm sure you'd never want to do that.

[smirkymonkey]

141. I generally don't go to family restaurants, so this problem rarely comes up in

reality, but I have been to "adult" restaurants where a child is having a tantrum and almost everyone gets visibly annoyed and upset when this happens. Maybe they didn't handle it the right way, but it's likely that these two women weren't the only ones getting annoyed. Why can't it be up to the parent to be responsible for the annoyance the child is causing. Take the kid outside or leave.

Families who don't do this are just selfish and immature. The only thing that matters is THEM. To hell with everyone else in the restaurant who may just want to enjoy their meals without some screaming child in the background. If this happens to me I will usually say something to the management and let them handle it but the fact remains that the people who cannot or will not try to minimize the disturbance that their child is making are the ones in the wrong, not the patrons who are irritated by it.

[Orrex]

143. Indeed, the patrons are not wrong to be irritated by it

And, again, they have those four options, maybe five.

Although they can't control the child's behavior, they can certainly control their own. If they confront the parent with anything less than grown-up civility, then they have chosen to escalate the situation, and they are in the wrong.

[bighart]

230. This story is about

a 10 MONTH OLD not a 2 or 3 YEAR old!

[REP]

56. Yeah, no. We don't all go to those places.

[SusanCalvin]

61. Yep.

If they make more money from screaming kids than me, well there ya go. It's a free country. (And I won't spend my money there.)

[treestar]

63. True. It's not that bad.

It certainly wouldn't "ruin my dinner." It never lasts that long, and the parents usually are embarrassed if it does and take the kid outside. Makes about as much sense as being impatient with old people for being slow. We were all kids once.

[smirkymonkey]

106. It is this attitude that so many ill-bred people espouse these days that makes

being out in public such an annoyance for the rest of us. Not having manners is no excuse. Get your kid under control or remove them from the situation.

[SusanCalvin]

36. If kids are not old/mature enough

not to disturb other paying customers, they are not old/mature enough to be taken to restaurants.

If they are thought to be but it is discovered otherwise, they need to be taken out/home.

So say I and would say my mom.

[ShrimpPoboy]

70. +1

I really can't believe the people here saying others should just deal with it. I don't care how "rowdy" the place is, it's not a park and it's not chuck e cheese.

[smirkymonkey]

110. Yes, amazing isn't it? I can't believe so many people are so opposed what used to

be called common courtesy and some respect for the experience of others in the venue. So I guess we now know who the people are who go out to restaurants and allow their children to act up and run amok and just expect everyone else to suck it up and deal with it.

[Dorian Gray]

216. What do you do

if a group of drunk people are loud?

[BlueJazz]

38. Screaming children bother me. I usually get up and move but try to do it without people..

..noticing. If I can't move, I just bare it out. I'm not rude about it.

[JCMach1]

40. My worst dining experiences haven't involved kids... adults are usually 100x more annoying...

[treestar]

64. Yep.

[Orrex]

68. ^^That. All of that. 100% of that.

[laundry_queen]

136. Bingo.

I've seen adults in restaurants throw worse tantrums than toddlers.

[demmiblue]

150. This is true of all public settings, not just restaurants.

I can't remember the last time a child/children have really bothered me at all in a public setting.

[ScreamingMeemie]

155. I will park myself right here in agreement.

I looked for this so I didn't have to post it myself. Adults know better, yet so many times, they don't care.

[romanic]

41. Texas Roadhouse ain't exactly fine dining.

If you go to places like that or Chili's or whatever else that's similar, there are going to be kids crying their heads off. Just a fact of life really.

[SusanCalvin]

48. Then take them out.

I am not paying for dinner to put up with out-of-control kids.

[alphafemale]

82. Pretty much like Chuckie Cheese with beer.

Beyond awful.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

125. Fuck! Where do you eat when you go out to dinner??????? I guess people who dine at those...

...places are just algea eaters, sucking up whatever crappy food we can afford. That or we haven't been trained to have the refined taste that you have.

[cherokeeprogressive]

132. I fucking HATE food snobs.

I go to TR for the big Porterhouse steaks. Freakin' awesome they are. And I love it loud, just like the old KISS song.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

135. Sorry class-snobs, making themselves feel better by disparaging the proles. If it...

...isn't a meal that looks like this:



...which is barely enough to satiate a rat, and doesn't cost $150/plate, then it's sorry ass food in a sorry ass establishment.

Class-shaming motherfucking 1%ers!

[cherokeeprogressive]

144. And there are a few of those right here in this thread.

Fuck 'em.

[alphafemale]

147. I generally DO NOT go OUT to EAT...

I can do this thing called COOK!!!

But if you eat at that Road House you should not be surprised at ill-behaved patrons no matter what their age.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

159. So, you think I don't know what cooking is? What a weird thing to infer. And I'm never...

...surprised by families at "that Road House". Why so you harbor so much contempt for Texas Roadhouse?

Also, when you do go out to dine, where do you go that isn't the bottom of the slop barrel like Roadhouse?

[demmiblue]

164. Poor little baby having a temper tantrum.

Need your binkie and your blankie?

[Orrex]

166. And remember--the screaming child is the one who needs to be controlled.

[demmiblue]

174. I know I am laughing... so ironically delicious!

[Orrex]

187. The irony was not lost on the jury, it seems

[demmiblue]

188. Well, to be honest, to miss that would be like missing..

a child digging shit out of their diaper and flinging it.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=7463193

[ChisolmTrailDem]

184. So now you're the screaming child in the Road House? Here's your nasty note.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

185. Oh, and by the way, the irony of your post is breathtaking. nt

[ChisolmTrailDem]

123. Holy shit! Where do you eat when you go out to dinner? Most of us low-lifes must not...

...know fine dining from MickeyD's!

Oops, sorry, I meant where do you dine when you go out? Apparently you're too good to just eat.

[marew]

55. Went out for breakfast once...

And a little one was in a highchair with a metal tray at the next table. The kid banged the tray with a metal spoon as hard as he could through the entire meal. We couldn't even hear ourselves talk. And the parents did nothing, NOTHING! We didn't say or do anything but that was incredibly rude, I thought.

[SusanCalvin]

57. Yep.

Restaurants that don't notice such without being alerted are losing customers. Like me.

[lindysalsagal]

119. At that point, I'd get my entire table to immitate the baby

until someone finally did something.

Letting their kid behave like that is no different than me behaving like that.

[Laffy Kat]

121. You are mistaken. It is completely different.

Babies and toddlers do not have the self-control or self-awareness of adults. And your approach is insensitive. You sound as though you must be angry a lot of the time. I wish you peace.

[lindysalsagal]

122. You make alot of assumptions. I wish you intelligence. n/t.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

127. Of course, you validate the previous posters comment...

[Orrex]

167. LOL. Yes, much is revealed in this thread

I've lost track of the number of discussions I've had on DU in which the person who's calling for a calm, measured response is castigated as the out-of-touch lunatic.

What does that tell us?

[Person 2713]

182. Yeah I have to guess the bad parents are not the smartest .

[alphafemale]

186. My kids were generally well behaved at restaurants.

At the first YORP! though my husband I would take them out.

It is a parents job to be sure their children do not cause ruin to someones evening.

Some people seem to think their shildren are a delight opon the world even if they are digging shit out of their diaper and flinging it.

"This is my beautiful snowflake. It can not be anything but glorious! You are evil for saying anything negative about my beautiful snowflake.

[Orrex]

65. The mother should be branded with a hot iron as a warning for next time

She should additionally be subjected to whatever public shaming will satisfy the sense of righteous outrage among the diners who want to scold her. They should sue her, in fact, because her demon spawn had the effrontery to ruin their Onion Blossom dining experience.


Bravo to the manager and to the company rep for handling this with grace.

[Laffy Kat]

124. ^This^

Thanks, Orrex. I'd like to think that people of our political persuasion are tolerant and loving people, especially when it comes to children. Obviously, not all of us are.

[tabasco]

72. I hate screaming kids as much as anybody, probably more.

but that was a stupid passive-aggressive thing to do.

Just don't go there anymore if it's too loud, dumbasses.

[pintobean]

100. She should have breast fed the child to keep him quiet.

I'm sure none of the other customers would have had a problem with that.

[emulatorloo]

129. And sent her pit-bull after the note writers.

[Throckmorton]

103. When this happens to me, I just smile and think, "Thank god it is not one of mine"

Having raised two to adulthood, and currently having an 8 year old adopted son, I have had plenty of unhappy kids on my hands over the years.

Look, it's just a screaming kid, at a family chain restaurant, not a republican pep rally at Todd English's Tuscany.

[rurallib]

108. how could they hear it over all the other noise at a Texas Roadhouse?

loud music all over the place. I'd think a screaming kid would fit right in.

[JCMach1]

120. Exacactly, this is a loud, noisy, FAMILY, chain restaurant...

The equivalent of going to a noisy club for an intimate date.

[ViseGrip]

131. I don't like screaming kids, not delt with in any restaurant! They should remove the kid, calm him

and then return.

[cherokeeprogressive]

133. I have a name for the two "middle-aged" women but it would get this hidden.

I will say though that were I faced with a choice between the two... they could go fuck themselves because crying children are easier to live with than people who pass shitty notes to others.

[Orrex]

176. ^^Thread win

Well, there have been a number of thread-winners here, but none of them has advocated for the ostensible grown-ups who want to scold the mother.

[TeamPooka]

134. as a friend of mine says. "Keep it in your head."

[alphafemale]

148. Getting three inches from the brats face and screaming "SHUT UP!"

That sometimes works. They have seriously never gotten a clue from their worthless parents that their shit is not going to help them in the real world.

[Orrex]

151. Maybe a quick blast of pepper spray while you're at it.

Otherwise, how will the child ever learn?

[pintobean]

154. Perhaps one's breath would serve the same purpose. /nt

[Orrex]

156. Maybe after a double-helping of the Onion Blossom

[pintobean]

160. I was thinking something mythical

but it could be some kind of blossom.

[Orrex]

163. As long as the child is injured or traumatized, I guess it's all good

Because, really, isn't the most important thing that we show the child how grown-ups are supposed to resolve conflicts?

[pintobean]

169. Resolving conflicts...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027460914#post161

[Orrex]

173. Question for clarification, please

How, exactly, does one "fuck the hell off of" someone else's ass?

And does it in some way help to calm a fussing child?

[pintobean]

180. I have no idea.

I thought it might be propositioning Chisolm for something that is beyond my experiences.

But... what do I know?

[pintobean]

152. Screaming 3" from an unknown 10-month-old baby's face?

That's what you're advocating?

Holy shit.

[demmiblue]

153. Good way to get the shit knocked out of you.

And I can't say that I wouldn't applaud the shit-kicker.

[TeddyR]

193. Are you serious?

So I'm going to edit because I don't want to get a hide, but the idea that you would scream in a child's face is reprehensible, whether that child is your child or someone else's. It is child abuse if your child and would get you in serious trouble with the parents if someone else's.

[Dorian Gray]

217. Go for it

[Kalidurga]

178. I remember back in the day when smoking was allowed

but often there was a separate section sometimes with a partition sometimes even a separate room for smokers. I would think an area for people with babies and small children would be a good idea.

[TeddyR]

195. Maybe we should have separate sections for each race too

Since some get offended by other races? Christ, I can't believe I'm reading these comments on a "progressive" website.

[Kalidurga]

196. You are wacky

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

206. LOL

Holy shit, Batman what a stretch.

"They separate bathrooms by gender! Sexist!"

[Jim Beard]

204. I got to this thread late but must express my opinion

Being the new grandparent, I had been one of those that could not stand the screaming. My oldest was an angel but by the time the second one came along, things were a bit more challenging, plus the older one is Autistic. When the older one would act up, we would take turns going outside with him.

The real challenge is you have to teach them again how to dine after going to a McDonalds. My daughter in law looks for places that kids eat free. Saves my wallet and they are kid friendly.

[Skittles]

207. if I really wanted a serene dining experience

I'd choose more wisely than a Texas Roadhouse

[Jim Beard]

208. After reading some the thought occurred to me, What are the Democrats?

For me to take my son and daughter out to eat which was not often, we would need to get a setter. It got even worse after we realized my grandson was Autistic. I know I will be having to encounter the biggest of the assholes I have read on this thread.

Do some of you people even vote Democratic?

I should get energized when I read the threads but anymore it like disgust that I feel.

[Ilsa]

209. You wouldn't be able to hear a screaming 10 MONTH OLD

in our Tx Roadhouse. Heck, there could be a duel in our TR and I doubt anyone could hear it.

[SusanCalvin]

213. Generic reply.

I'm finished with this thread, but seem to be getting a lot of replies. If you're telling me I'm a big, bad witch, OK. If you're agreeing with me, OK. Anything in between, OK.

H. L. Mencken's [very widely attributed, as yet unsourced] pat response to all angry letters:

Dear Sir (or Madame),
You may be right.
Sincerely yours, HL Mencken

https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:H._L._Mencken

[3catwoman3]

218. When our now-23 year old was about...

...10 months old, he had boot casts on his feet to correct a minor orthopedic problem. We were visiting my parents, and one evening went to one of my dad's preferred local restaurants. The available high chair was one of the old fashioned wooden ones. We had not been seated very long when our son started beating a tattoo on the wooden high chair with his little plaster booties. It sounded as if he were auditioning for Drum Line. It was immediately obvious that diversionary tactics were not going to work, (he was a stubborn little cuss) so I scooped him up, told my husband to order some takeout for me when they were finished, and took the little percussionist right back to my folks place.

[joeybee12]

219. How long was the child screaming?

That happens with kids...if it went on for a long time, then the mother should have removed the child.

[Arugula Latte]

224. Some short-term fussing and crying is okay, but

if your kid starts screaming and wailing for more than a minute, take her/him out of the restaurant.

That was our policy when our kids were little. I would never want them to be the cause of ruining other people's dinners.

[frizzled]

227. Assholes. I just think "I have to put up with your kid for an hour..."

"You have to do it for years!"