Angry Militia Leader: Stop Mailing Us Dildos (Warning: Language)

[underpants]

Gawker

Video at link



No one ever said it’s easy to take a stand against the federal government: it’s cold, there aren’t enough snacks, everyone is pissy, and a bunch of strangers won’t stop sending you hate mail and dicks.

Ritzheimer says he’s sick of this garbage:


He takes particular issue with an enormous dildo and a “bag of dicks” that appear to be made out of candy—a form of snack, so I’m not sure what his beef is here. Militia spokesperson Maureen “Mo” Peltier echoes Ritzheimer’s disgust:

People spending money to send items representing their hate. That could have been spent on good things. Or those in need. Or something.

Billy Gober posted a genius idea, sell it back on ebay. So, keep sending stupid shit, it’s gonna turn a dime for them. Lol Economics!
I love the idea of the Oregon militiamen selling dildos on eBay, so yes, consider the plan fully endorsed.

Ritzheimer’s video ends with him sweeping the entire table of anti-militia mail onto the floor in an extremely dramatic fashion.

[MisterP]

1. delivered through USPS, I presume?

also they wouldn't make so much noise if you sit on something padded: you don't play around with them on tile floors

[randys1]

2. OMG

[libodem]

3. That cracks me up

LMAOROTF

[underpants]

14. You want funny? Click on the Pissy hyperlink on the link I provided

Gawker and others have been monitoring their social media posts (they try to erase them but that never works) and they are ranting and fighting amongst each other.

[libodem]

56. That was grand

My day has been made.

[RKP5637]

4. "I love the idea of the Oregon militiamen selling dildos on eBay,"

OMG! Hmmmm ... I wonder if they will be sold as new or used?

[hunter]

31. Just lightly licked.

[Coventina]

5. I guess they've never heard the expression: "you can go eat a bag of dicks"?

Or "beggars can't be choosers"?

[nadinbrzezinski]

6. Delivered by the USPS

Ahem...hilarious

[AlbertCat]

60. Delivered by the USPS

They get mail?????


I'm confused....

[nadinbrzezinski]

70. Of course they do,

until they actually threaten the mail delivery folks, they will continue to deliver

[malthaussen]

7. They asked for snacks.

I don't see the problem here.

-- Mal

[LynneSin]

86. Are they cream filled?

[TexasBushwhacker]

94. Maybe filled w/ French Vanilla creamer

So what are they bitching about.

[Gregorian]

8. That guy is calling for an insurrection erection.

With dildos, evidently.
I can't laugh because he'll be behind bars soon, which is sad.

[TheCowsCameHome]

10. Oh, I thought Bundy meant "an erection"

My bad.

[Gregorian]

11. You were right! In the future.

A quick ninja edit must have occurred while we were simultaneously involved in dildo cowboys.

[saltpoint]

9. These guys asked for snacks.

That opens the door for shipments of nearly any kind.

For those in the "patriot" groups who have children, I hope the point is not lost on their kids that their fathers seized a bird sanctuary and after begging for snacks, sold sex toys on eBay.

It will make a lovely memory.

[underpants]

19. I'd heard of Pinterest folks talking about sending them glitter

The dildo thing was either orchestrated under the radar (not that I'm that in tuned) or a bunch of people all had the same idea.

Classic.

[saltpoint]

20. Agree. They're trespassing, so the

least that can be done is for many thousands of people to send them dildos.

It's quite a statement, actually.

[MisterP]

24. in fact if they open mail addressed properly to the Reserve it might be a Federal crime

[saltpoint]

25. Yep. And if they wind up having

to serve time, they'll have a plethora of dildos to keep them occupied, if I can use the word 'occupied' in this context.

[KamaAina]

12. "His breath was sweet with jerky..."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027511245#post3

[janlyn]

49. OH.MY.GOD!!!!

It ain't snacks I'm hungry for, trevor!!

[pangaia]

72. kersplerttt

[pangaia]

73. kersplerttt

[AC_Mem]

81. Omg lolol

Awesome

[SMC22307]

98. The Decemberists' Colin Meloy?

[KamaAina]

102. That's the one.

[Snobblevitch]

13. At least it was new and in the original packaging.

A creative person would send them a used dildo.

[Grassy Knoll]

15. maybe this is to his liking....

[underpants]

17. LMAO

[saltpoint]

22. : ) Cammo on the ammo. eom

[callous taoboy]

26. Cammosexual! Har!

[saltpoint]

27. LOL! eom

[sarge43]

43. Rambo the Cammo on the Ammo

Say that fast five times.

[RKP5637]

28. LOL! And guaranteed not to fall out!

[TeeYiYi]

40. What the hell is that?...

...a lamp?



...or a dick shaped, camo kitty scratching post?

TYY

[2naSalit]

52. I guess it's not

a flashlight..?

[msanthrope]

91. It's a major award!!!! nt

[PatrickforO]

88. My...that's a BIG one!

But, it's wearing summer cammo and it IS winter...

[LiberalElite]

16. LOVE IT!!!!!

[starroute]

18. There was a GoFundMe raising cash to mail the candy dicks

It looks like GoFundMe delected that page. But here's Dicks By Mail that will send them out for you anonymously: http://dicksbymail.com/

[central scrutinizer]

21. Dicks for dicks

Perfect

[pangaia]

75. Oh the copy on that page is priceless....

I know. This is more than the allowed 4 paragraphs, but please, I just could not resist.

This bag of gummy penises is a great way to tell your friends, family, loved ones, or enemies to 'EAT A BAG OF DICKS'. Sent anonymously with a stock message, this product will get your point across in a way that nobody will mistake.

A tasty gift? or just an funny reminder that someone should stuff it; leave the recipient guessing.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipients name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

We may ship regular or sour flavor gummy dicks depending on availability.

Remember that look of joy you got on your face on Christmas morning when you went downstairs and unwrapped a big bag of socks? Us neither.

Dicks by Mail is the easy way to send that feeling to anyone in your life that deserves that feeling of sadness, disappointment and betrayal (or laughter).

[hifiguy]

23. That is bloody brilliant.

They run out of food and they can eat a bag of (artificial) dicks.

[RKP5637]

29. ...

[dhill926]

30. fucking love this haha....

[Metric System]

32. Call me thin-skinned but all of this , including posts in this thread, reeks of homophobia.

[saltpoint]

33. Pretty sure dildos are purchased and

deployed by people across the entire sexual spectrum.

The noun 'dildo' also is used as a pejorative. Regarding usage, it's a randier version of 'dodo'; thus calling someone a dildo-head or a dodo-head suggests that he or she is not terribly cerebral.

Having snacks sent to these "patriots" -- these rough and tough armed men taunting the federal government yet begging for snacks -- in the form of a bag of dick-shaped candies is not suggestive of homophobia, but a comment on their idiocy.

[underpants]

35. Understood

I took the whole thing as making jokes about the YeeHawdis and their rugged tough guy personas.

[displacedtexan]

36. Where in the world did you get that idea?

Was the idea presented to you in such a way as to only think of it as being a "gay" term?

Fascinating how we can all have different reactions to terms.

[eggplant]

48. You think heterosexual men don't like dildos?

Seems pretty narrow minded to me.

[jtuck004]

50. "The Big Swinging Dick". "He's the Big Dick" < In groups of men, this is not an unusual designation

for the guy in charge, back when I was on bigger construction projects. The more physical the work, and the more free time, I think I might have been more likely to hear that, though I have heard it among firemen and cops too.

It has nothing to do with homophobia. It's just that many guys are pre-occupied by their penises. We let them think for us, lead us around.

When actually confronted with one...or more...however, they scare some of us almost as bad as nipples. That's how people are.


That's not to say homophobia wasn't all or part of what they got, but it's not a default "meaning".

[Glassunion]

55. I'd say your skin is thin.

[ronnie624]

100. You're not thin-skinned.

The homophobia is obvious. They are being called gay as a pejorative, meaning they are weak and unmanly. The symbolism in sending dildos is unmistakable.

[TeeYiYi]

34. I'm so sorry...

TYY

[Grassy Knoll]

44. That Last One Looks Italian.

[Skittles]

82. SCHEDULING BOTH OF YOU FOR ASS KICKINGS

*EGREGIOUS*

[progressoid]

104. That's fantastic.

[cindyperry]

37. Saw that

Today. .

[kcdoug1]

38. wait a minute!

did they or did they NOT ask for reinforcements?

[TeeYiYi]

47. Well, technically yes...

TYY

[WillyT]

39. LOL !!! - Perfect !!!

[muntrv]

41. Obama should deal with vanilla isis the way Washington dealt with the Whiskey Rebellion.

[CoffeeCat]

78. I just wiped Diet Coke off of my computer screen.

So, not kidding.

"vanilla isis" just hit me hard.

[Coolest Ranger]

42. As a gay man myself I love dildos

but you all have made my damn stomach hurt so much this evening, I can't take it anymore, talk about soft porn.

[TygrBright]

45. But... would you want to buy a used one from them on E-bay? n/t

[Omaha Steve]

46. K&R!

[muntrv]

51. Because real dicks hate fake ones.

[8 track mind]

53. now I know where to send all of the 8-tracks I don't like....n/t

[jalan48]

54. LOL!

I needed this.

[Kalidurga]

57. Oh it's Vanilla Isis, I thought it was the other one.

We should send them some dildos too.

[Glassunion]

58. Now this is a porn thread I can get behind

[Marrah_G]

59. Okay folks, get on social media and start giving out the web site for "bag of dicks"

and the address to have them sent to.

[uponit7771]

61. I thought the onion was shutting down

[keithbvadu2]

62. Sodhouse Lane? You’ve got to be kidding!

Malheur National Wildlife Refuge
36391 Sodhouse Lane
Princeton, Oregon 97721

Sodhouse Lane? You’ve got to be kidding! This is just too rich.

The Onion could not have written such a story.

[sod] Chiefly British Slang.
noun
1. sodomite; homosexual.
2. chap; fellow; guy.
3. child; kid; brat.

[msanthrope]

92. I know...if I'd written it, Hollywood would have rejected the script. nt

[jmowreader]

63. I shouldn't be telling you this...BUT...

http://dicksbymail.com

[underpants]

64. Hilarious

Thanks

[Jerry442]

65. Enjoying all the hilarity, but just had a thought...

...if these guys get packages of real food from people they don't know, how can they be sure it's safe to eat? Just sayin'.

[saltpoint]

66. I guess they have to incur some

level of risk after an armed insurrection of a bird sanctuary.

[drm604]

67. They are dumb aren't they?

If you don't want to receive dildos and bags of dicks, then the last thing you should do is make a public video complaining about receiving them!

[Saviolo]

68. Best comment on that Gawker article:

To avoid doing it by mistake, what exactly is the address we should definitely not send dildos to?

Genius!

[underpants]

69. That's hilarious

[Rex]

71. Dildos red flare, vibrators flying through the air

gave some truth that cold night...that our sense of humor and humanity still held fast. Despite the gravity of the situation.

http://www.skdtac.com/skd-bag-of-dicks-p/skd.808.htm

[SwankyXomb]

74. ... Except in this case, it IS their dildo

[Chicago1980]

76. Dicks for dicks.

[Initech]

77. I'll send them one that says "don't tread on me" on it!

[47of74]

90. Ahem..

[maggies farm]

79. This place is not a wildlife refuge it is a zoo!

"While militant leader Ammon Bundy has repeatedly denied government computers were being used by militants, OPB has again confirmed that Department of Interior computers at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge are being accessed, and in this instance, being used to make a website for the occupation.
One of the militants occupying the refuge posted video of himself using the computer."
http://www.opb.org/news/series/burns-oregon-standoff-bundy-militia-news-updates/militants-government-computers-isis-website-malheur/

"If you guys want to see something send some suggestions! email me at [e-mail]. Site is still a bit rag tag here folks! Doing this all in a pinch! If this site goes down. It means your government is censoring your right to see for yourself what is happening! So send your suggestions I’ll get a chat going hopefully too!!"

You can watch these videos posted from government computers.
http://defendyourbase.net

[CoffeeCat]

80. Come on guys this is mean! I'm baking cookies for them to show that not everyone is hateful!

I hope I made enough!

[Skittles]

84. WTF

NONE OF THEM LEAN LEFT? *SCHEDULING COFFEECAT FOR ASS KICKING; EGREGIOUS*

[underpants]

85. Depends on your point of view

[CoffeeCat]

93. LOL!

I will turn the cookie cutter the other way for the next batch!

[TeeYiYi]

95. I'm pretty sure you'll hafta' flip 'em...

...and frost the other side.

TYY

[Warren DeMontague]

83. Wait, the guy's last name is literally Gober?

perchance is it pronounced "Goober"?

[Pharaoh]

87. Here is the video

http://thedailybanter.com/2016/01/poor-poor-patriots/

I'm sure he was dying to say " Just send us some fucking snacks " !!!!!!

[classof56]

89. Oh. My. God. This is priceless. Can't seem to stop laughing.

I don't live too far from the Occupied-by-Idiots zone. Might be worth a trip over there to watch the dildo influx and Ritzheimer (seriously??) sweeping the anti-militia mail onto the floor. Pretty sure not too many in Bundy's crowd can actually read anyhow.

The cray-cray continues!

[underpants]

101. As I posted above- go to the link in the OP

and click on the Pissy hyperlink. You will enjoy.

[mfcorey1]

96. Great!!!

[Blue Owl]

97. "Should I suck each one individually...

...or the bag they're all in?"

[Spitfire of ATJ]

99. Now we know that was the Y'all Qaeda flag!!!

[Blue_Tires]

103. awesome....