Dave Barry, the funniest man in the known universe.

[mac56]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by one_voice (a host of the General Discussion forum).

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/elections-2016/article57260143.html

"I am no political consultant, but I think Clinton’s main image problem is that, while she wants us to believe she’s Fighting For Us, the main vibe she gives off is that she’s Way Smarter Than Us. (To be fair: I think Ted Cruz has the same problem.)"

[Johonny]

1. Exact time and date Ted Cruz gave off this vibe? Perhaps in Ted's case he meant Vibrator

because he's kind of a dick and vibrates that feeling pretty much at every moment in his political career to date.

[closeupready]

2. I've always enjoyed Dave Barry's writing.

For whatever reason, his non-political columns in the early 90's - which I'd read every morning in the newspaper while having a coffee - had me almost literally in stitches. Thanks for posting.

[djean111]

3. Have you read any of his books?

His "Dave Barry Does Japan' had me laughing so hard I was helpless and in tears. And laughed at random moments, long after I read the book, just remembering some stuff.
Went to work in Tokyo a couple of years after I read the book - and had to read it again, he was spot on, and it was even funnier, and I didn't think it possible.

[closeupready]

5. I did try one, but he got more into sports-related discussions, and I'm so not into sports.

So the humor didn't hit me right, but the columns from the 94-95 period which he wrote for the Miami Herald and were syndicated to newspapers everywhere ... absolutely hysterical stuff, almost every single one.

[djean111]

8. He wrote the Japan book in '92.

Yes, I also have read all of his columns, fabulous stuff. But to me, having a Whole Book was like Christmas.

[Initech]

7. Have you seen the movie Big Trouble?

If not I highly recommend doing so - it's based off a novel that he wrote and has a gigantic cast including Tim Allen, Johnny Knoxville, Dennis Farina, Rene Russo, Jason Lee, Patrick Warburton, Janeane Garofalo, Sofia Vergara... too bad it didn't do very well at the box office, but its' still worth seeing nontheless.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246464/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

[closeupready]

10. No, but I'll check that out, thanks!

[Initech]

11. If you're a Dave Barry fan you will definitely get the subtlety of the jokes.

I was going to post a clip but apparently the whole movie is on Youtube:

[leftyladyfrommo]

4. His book on his trip to the Holy Land

Is really funny, too. His wife and daughter are Jewish so they took the Jewish tours.

[FLPanhandle]

6. Who doesn't want a leader that's smarter than us?

We saw with GWB what happens when you someone stupider than us.

[mac56]

9. I think his point is not whether a President is smarter than the rest of us

but rather if they present in such a way that they're perceived as condescending.

[csziggy]

12. Dave Barry almost killed me one time

I was really sick with some bad respiratory infection and his column on the Martian Death Flu started me laughing, then coughing so hard I passed out. It's a classic, still funny as hell - and dangerous if you have trouble breathing!

The 'Martian Death Flu' Inches From Carpet, Molecules Hit Eyeballs
BY DAVE BARRY
Posted: April 02, 1986

We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu." You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past HIGH, that said ELECTROCUTION.

Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a) your teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing process, you'd have to lie in front of the sink to rest for a couple of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the police would find you.

You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.

I spend a lot of time lying very still, thinking flu-related thoughts. One insight I have had is that all this time, scientists have been telling us the truth: Air really is made up of tiny objects called "molecules." I know this because I can feel them banging against my body. There are billions and billions and billions of them, but if I concentrate, I can detect each individually, striking my body, especially my eyeballs, at speeds upwards of 100,000 miles per hour. If I try to escape by pulling the blanket over my face, they attack my hair, which has become almost as sensitive as my teeth.

More: http://articles.philly.com/1986-04-02/news/26079798_1_electric-blanket-molecules-toothpaste

[one_voice]

13. Locking..

Doesn't meet SoP for GD.

Statement of Purpose

Posts about the Democratic primaries are forbidden

Feel free to repost in GDP thanks