An old joke for Antonin

[WilliamPitt]

Last edited Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:29 PM - Edit history (1)

There's an old joke about a man who would buy a newspaper every day from a paperboy, scan the front page, and then throw the paper away in disgust. After a while, the paperboy asked him why he kept throwing the paper away. "I'm looking for someone in the obituaries," the man replied. "But, sir," said the paperboy, "the obituaries are on page 30." The man looked at him and said, "When the son of a bitch I'm looking for dies, he'll be on the front page."

... and there he is.

[tandot]

1. K & R

[hifiguy]

2. Kickety rec!

[LiberalLoner]

3. K&R to the max!

[2naSalit]

4. +1

[leftstreet]

5. LOL

[Hotler]

6. Kick & rec.

Thanks William.

[Old Codger]

7. That was the first

Thing that came to mind when I saw the headlines..

[Manifestor_of_Light]

8. When my husband came in and told me

I said "Scalia?"

He said, "Scalia."

I said, "We should be so lucky."

For those of you who think I'm going to hell, please hold your fire.

[A Simple Game]

11. I'll take your fire from you, I just looked at the thermometer and it reads minus 20 already. n/t

[DhhD]

40. Where are you taking the fire at? It is in the 60s in Texas; southwest of the Polar Vortex.

[Pakhet]

45. please send all your cold weather to:

Arizona c/o pakhet

It's 85 today, though I should be happier because we had a whole month of weather cool enough that I could wear shoes and socks instead of sandals

[Punkingal]

47. You aren't...there isn't a hell.

[mdbl]

75. No but I wish there were for people like Scalia

[Punkingal]

77. He thought there was one, so maybe there is for him. One can hope.

[truebluegreen]

9. That exact joke crossed my mind when I saw the news.

heh

[Bugenhagen]

25. Mine too.

[Fast Walker 52]

62. mine three!

[Gregorian]

10. Now hanging out at the Sulphur Bar with Thatcher.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

12. Brimstone Specials 24/7!!!

[Cleita]

16. Hopefully, they will be joined by Dick Cheney and Henry Kissinger soon. eom

[Volaris]

24. Dick Cheneys headstone needs to be a urinal.

[Cleita]

28. So does Killinger's. eom

[Gary 50]

42. If it's open to the public it will be.

[abakan]

54. Whether it is or not.

It will be.

[cannabis_flower]

34. +1

[hifiguy]

21. In between shoveling shifts

at the Hades Shitworks.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

13. Reminds me of a certain grumpy judge who was disliked by everybody at the courthouse.

My dad was a lawyer. He said when this guy dies, every lawyer in Houston will show up at his funeral just to make sure he's dead.

[hifiguy]

22. "Ididn't know you knew the deceased."

"I didn't. I just came to make sure."

[Whatthe_Firetruck]

82. Masters (of war)

&ab_channel=ONE

[Jenny_92808]

84. WOW... and I will stand over

your grave to make sure you are dead.

[uponit7771]

90. +1

[Liberal Jesus Freak]

14. Ohhhhhhhh...

I was so hoping someone would post this. I couldn't remember the specifics...thanks!

[rocktivity]

15. Mr. Scalia's colleagues, friends and family have my most sincere condolences

But then again, they always have.


rocktivity

[GoneOffShore]

87. Stealing this.

[lastlib]

17. Satan can now take that long-awaited vacation--his replacement has arrived.

I'd like to attend his funeral, just so I can be the first to piss on his grave.

[Duppers]

27. Lol.

[FailureToCommunicate]

35. "Sarge, after I leave the Army, I don't want to stand in any more long lines"

[Paka]

18. K&R

[DinahMoeHum]

19. Well, I'm not wasting a Kleenex on that guy. . .

. . .need it for more important things - like my runny nose from a cold.
Just sayin'.

[trof]

20. Originally about FDR.

On the commuter train from Greenwich to NYC.

[Autumn Colors]

23. This sums up my feelings on the subject

[New Orleans Strong]

26. Hoped you would be here -

This is so huge -

[Duppers]

29. Well played, Will.

[JonLeibowitz]

30. Thanks Will. Apropos. K&R.

[Skittles]

31. dammit William, COME BACK

to HELL with the haters - stick their sorry asses on IGNORE and RETURN!!!

[truebluegreen]

37. + a brazillian

[erlewyne]

32. Slow down, you're moving too fast

I love this joke every time I hear it.

Thanks William Pitt

Just got a chuckle, old Scalia's not
going to miss us ... a Glen Cambell song?

[Mbrow]

33. Thanks will K&R

[malthaussen]

36. I must say, my reaction upon seeing this news was not subtle.

I think the whole block heard my "hot damn!"

Terribly ungenerous, I know. And you know what? I don't care.

-- Mal

[wolfie001]

38. tres apropos! merci! nt

[Dem2]

39. :)

yep.

[H2O Man]

41. Thank you.

I do not take any pleasure in another human being's death. But I believe that our nation is safer without this guy.

[dorkzilla]

43. I betcha your Dad is waiting at St Peter's gate....

waiting to, at the very least, box his ears.

[wordpix]

44. Faux is now making him into St. Tony

He'll be the "St. Ronnie" of his age to the pukes.

[mdbl]

76. can't wait to see the street named after him

only in rightwing looney ville

[mgmaggiemg]

46. hilarious

[catnhatnh]

48. "911 operator,how can I help you"

"It's Justice Scalia-I think he's dead..."

"Well-first we have to make sure"

(silence)

"Sir-Sir?"

(silence)




BANG, BANG, BANG

"Okay-what's next?"

[chapdrum]

49. Zippy the Pinhead, omniscient then as now

"All life is a blur of Republicans and meat."

(Circa 1979, cartoonist Bill Griffith)

[Marie Marie]

50. I haz a sad - NOT!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

51. I have never wished a man dead

but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure. (Attributed to Mark Twain)

[stopwastingmymoney]

59. That's the one I was trying to remember! Thanks, nt

[Bohunk68]

61. Actually, that was Clarence Darrow.

My 2nd cousin, 5 times removed.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

69. You're right.

Seems like Mark Twain gets the credit for all the clever quotes because he came up with so many of them.

[Bohunk68]

74. I double checked myself on this and it was Mark Twain. What Clarence said was:

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence is my 2nd cousin, 5 times removed and our connection is not more than 25 miles from where I currently live in Upstate NY. Both he and I grew up in Ashtabula County, Ohio. Never knew the connection until I did my genealogy.

[tomp]

64. wishing a person's death is not necessarily a bad thing

for the moment, my wish and god's will appear to be in sync. the world is a better place today.

[Jenny_92808]

85. When I wish an evil person dead

I say to the powers that be "thy will, not my will be done"

I think that our world is a better place, now that Scalia is gone.

[Dont call me Shirley]

52. The first words out of my mouth upon hearing was "This changes everything!"

[rhett o rick]

70. Maybe and maybe not. We desperately need change but it's been promised and not

delivered. The Powers That Be don't want change.

[Dont call me Shirley]

83. Hopeful thinking, rhett. I'm still an optimist.

[rhett o rick]

88. Good for you, and I mean it. It's not easy to be obtimistic facing the Big Money Power we

have to overcome. So far Pres Obama hasn't proven to me that he is one of us in the 99%.

[Baitball Blogger]

53. Tomorrow's local paper is going to be in the top ten most collected newspaper.

Might even surpass the landing on the moon.

[mountain grammy]

55. Thanks, Will

So, since Tony and Clarence were joined at the hip, shouldn't the other be dying soon?

[Betty Karlson]

56. K&R!

[Ilsa]

57. I hope your Pops kicks his ass out of Heaven.

I bet the saints and angel would help him.

[tomp]

63. nino won't even get close to heaven.

now that he's dead, I'm waiting for the real dirt on him to be exposed. he was a walking pusball of corruption. unpatriotic and unchristian.

[Ilsa]

67. I was thinking he'd get there on a technicality. nt

[tomp]

68. heaven doesn't work like that. (nt)

[latebloomer]

58. Ha, I was just about to post this on Facebook!

I googled. looking for the exact quote and your post came up. Actually, yours was the only one that came up. Thanks!

[stonecutter357]

60. K&R!

[Jester Messiah]

65. Haha, nice! [nt]

[Borchkins]

66. My thoughts as well.

Good riddance.

[marble falls]

71. But Will, the old joke WAS Antonin! And I say that with all due solemnity.

[MariaThinks]

72. i must say kick

[Duval]

73. K&R! nt

[In_The_Wind]

78. Kickin' it!

[lordsummerisle]

79. K&R n/t

[shanti]

80. this is just the beginning, imo

the rest of the PNAC cabal are right behind him. fat tony won't be the last front pager by a long shot!

[Jenny_92808]

86. I am glad

that this piece of evil is gone.

[Paladin]

81. K&R.

[countryjake]

89. kickety

[Kang Colby]

91. Wow, you came up with that in under 24 business hours. Nice job. n/t

[WilliamPitt]

92. You write that one yourself?

Or did Kodos pen it for you?