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Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:05 PM

 

An old joke for Antonin

Last edited Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:29 PM - Edit history (1)

There's an old joke about a man who would buy a newspaper every day from a paperboy, scan the front page, and then throw the paper away in disgust. After a while, the paperboy asked him why he kept throwing the paper away. "I'm looking for someone in the obituaries," the man replied. "But, sir," said the paperboy, "the obituaries are on page 30." The man looked at him and said, "When the son of a bitch I'm looking for dies, he'll be on the front page."

... and there he is.

92 replies, 12760 views

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Arrow 92 replies Author Time Post
Reply An old joke for Antonin (Original post)
WilliamPitt Feb 2016 OP
tandot Feb 2016 #1
hifiguy Feb 2016 #2
LiberalLoner Feb 2016 #3
2naSalit Feb 2016 #4
leftstreet Feb 2016 #5
Hotler Feb 2016 #6
Old Codger Feb 2016 #7
Manifestor_of_Light Feb 2016 #8
A Simple Game Feb 2016 #11
DhhD Feb 2016 #40
Pakhet Feb 2016 #45
Punkingal Feb 2016 #47
mdbl Feb 2016 #75
Punkingal Feb 2016 #77
truebluegreen Feb 2016 #9
Bugenhagen Feb 2016 #25
Fast Walker 52 Feb 2016 #62
Gregorian Feb 2016 #10
Manifestor_of_Light Feb 2016 #12
Cleita Feb 2016 #16
Volaris Feb 2016 #24
Cleita Feb 2016 #28
Gary 50 Feb 2016 #42
abakan Feb 2016 #54
cannabis_flower Feb 2016 #34
hifiguy Feb 2016 #21
Manifestor_of_Light Feb 2016 #13
hifiguy Feb 2016 #22
Whatthe_Firetruck Feb 2016 #82
Jenny_92808 Feb 2016 #84
uponit7771 Feb 2016 #90
Liberal Jesus Freak Feb 2016 #14
rocktivity Feb 2016 #15
GoneOffShore Feb 2016 #87
lastlib Feb 2016 #17
Duppers Feb 2016 #27
FailureToCommunicate Feb 2016 #35
Paka Feb 2016 #18
DinahMoeHum Feb 2016 #19
trof Feb 2016 #20
Autumn Colors Feb 2016 #23
New Orleans Strong Feb 2016 #26
Duppers Feb 2016 #29
JonLeibowitz Feb 2016 #30
Skittles Feb 2016 #31
truebluegreen Feb 2016 #37
erlewyne Feb 2016 #32
Mbrow Feb 2016 #33
malthaussen Feb 2016 #36
wolfie001 Feb 2016 #38
Dem2 Feb 2016 #39
H2O Man Feb 2016 #41
dorkzilla Feb 2016 #43
wordpix Feb 2016 #44
mdbl Feb 2016 #76
mgmaggiemg Feb 2016 #46
catnhatnh Feb 2016 #48
chapdrum Feb 2016 #49
Marie Marie Feb 2016 #50
The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2016 #51
stopwastingmymoney Feb 2016 #59
Bohunk68 Feb 2016 #61
The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2016 #69
Bohunk68 Feb 2016 #74
tomp Feb 2016 #64
Jenny_92808 Feb 2016 #85
Dont call me Shirley Feb 2016 #52
rhett o rick Feb 2016 #70
Dont call me Shirley Feb 2016 #83
rhett o rick Feb 2016 #88
Baitball Blogger Feb 2016 #53
mountain grammy Feb 2016 #55
Betty Karlson Feb 2016 #56
Ilsa Feb 2016 #57
tomp Feb 2016 #63
Ilsa Feb 2016 #67
tomp Feb 2016 #68
latebloomer Feb 2016 #58
stonecutter357 Feb 2016 #60
Jester Messiah Feb 2016 #65
Borchkins Feb 2016 #66
marble falls Feb 2016 #71
MariaThinks Feb 2016 #72
Duval Feb 2016 #73
In_The_Wind Feb 2016 #78
lordsummerisle Feb 2016 #79
shanti Feb 2016 #80
Jenny_92808 Feb 2016 #86
Paladin Feb 2016 #81
countryjake Feb 2016 #89
Kang Colby Feb 2016 #91
WilliamPitt Feb 2016 #92

Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:09 PM

1. K & R

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:10 PM

2. Kickety rec!

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:26 PM

3. K&R to the max!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:26 PM

4. +1

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:27 PM

5. LOL

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:38 PM

6. Kick & rec.

Thanks William.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:46 PM

7. That was the first

 

Thing that came to mind when I saw the headlines..

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:48 PM

8. When my husband came in and told me

 

I said "Scalia?"

He said, "Scalia."

I said, "We should be so lucky."

For those of you who think I'm going to hell, please hold your fire.


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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #8)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:53 PM

11. I'll take your fire from you, I just looked at the thermometer and it reads minus 20 already. n/t

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Response to A Simple Game (Reply #11)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:07 PM

40. Where are you taking the fire at? It is in the 60s in Texas; southwest of the Polar Vortex.

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Response to DhhD (Reply #40)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:33 PM

45. please send all your cold weather to:

Arizona c/o pakhet

It's 85 today, though I should be happier because we had a whole month of weather cool enough that I could wear shoes and socks instead of sandals

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #8)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:33 PM

47. You aren't...there isn't a hell.

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Response to Punkingal (Reply #47)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 03:06 PM

75. No but I wish there were for people like Scalia

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Response to mdbl (Reply #75)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 04:13 PM

77. He thought there was one, so maybe there is for him. One can hope.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:49 PM

9. That exact joke crossed my mind when I saw the news.

 

heh

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Response to truebluegreen (Reply #9)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:27 PM

25. Mine too.

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Response to truebluegreen (Reply #9)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:22 AM

62. mine three!

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:52 PM

10. Now hanging out at the Sulphur Bar with Thatcher.

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Response to Gregorian (Reply #10)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:55 PM

12. Brimstone Specials 24/7!!!

 



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Response to Gregorian (Reply #10)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:01 PM

16. Hopefully, they will be joined by Dick Cheney and Henry Kissinger soon. eom

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Response to Cleita (Reply #16)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:27 PM

24. Dick Cheneys headstone needs to be a urinal.

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Response to Volaris (Reply #24)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:28 PM

28. So does Killinger's. eom

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Response to Volaris (Reply #24)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:26 PM

42. If it's open to the public it will be.

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Response to Volaris (Reply #24)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 12:48 AM

54. Whether it is or not.

It will be.

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Response to Cleita (Reply #16)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:41 PM

34. +1

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Response to Gregorian (Reply #10)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:15 PM

21. In between shoveling shifts

 

at the Hades Shitworks.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:58 PM

13. Reminds me of a certain grumpy judge who was disliked by everybody at the courthouse.

 

My dad was a lawyer. He said when this guy dies, every lawyer in Houston will show up at his funeral just to make sure he's dead.

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #13)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:16 PM

22. "Ididn't know you knew the deceased."

 

"I didn't. I just came to make sure."

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Response to hifiguy (Reply #22)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:32 PM

82. Masters (of war)

&ab_channel=ONE

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Response to Whatthe_Firetruck (Reply #82)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:48 PM

84. WOW... and I will stand over

 

your grave to make sure you are dead.

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #13)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 09:04 AM

90. +1

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 08:58 PM

14. Ohhhhhhhh...

I was so hoping someone would post this. I couldn't remember the specifics...thanks!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:00 PM

15. Mr. Scalia's colleagues, friends and family have my most sincere condolences

But then again, they always have.


rocktivity

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Response to rocktivity (Reply #15)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:52 PM

87. Stealing this.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:06 PM

17. Satan can now take that long-awaited vacation--his replacement has arrived.

I'd like to attend his funeral, just so I can be the first to piss on his grave.

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Response to lastlib (Reply #17)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:28 PM

27. Lol.



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Response to lastlib (Reply #17)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:46 PM

35. "Sarge, after I leave the Army, I don't want to stand in any more long lines"

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:07 PM

18. K&R

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:12 PM

19. Well, I'm not wasting a Kleenex on that guy. . .

. . .need it for more important things - like my runny nose from a cold.
Just sayin'.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:15 PM

20. Originally about FDR.

On the commuter train from Greenwich to NYC.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:26 PM

23. This sums up my feelings on the subject

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:28 PM

26. Hoped you would be here -

This is so huge -

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:30 PM

29. Well played, Will.



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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:30 PM

30. Thanks Will. Apropos. K&R.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:33 PM

31. dammit William, COME BACK

to HELL with the haters - stick their sorry asses on IGNORE and RETURN!!!

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Response to Skittles (Reply #31)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:50 PM

37. + a brazillian

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:34 PM

32. Slow down, you're moving too fast


I love this joke every time I hear it.

Thanks William Pitt

Just got a chuckle, old Scalia's not
going to miss us ... a Glen Cambell song?



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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:37 PM

33. Thanks will K&R

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 09:46 PM

36. I must say, my reaction upon seeing this news was not subtle.

I think the whole block heard my "hot damn!"

Terribly ungenerous, I know. And you know what? I don't care.

-- Mal

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:00 PM

38. tres apropos! merci! nt

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:01 PM

39. :)

yep.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:26 PM

41. Thank you.

I do not take any pleasure in another human being's death. But I believe that our nation is safer without this guy.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:29 PM

43. I betcha your Dad is waiting at St Peter's gate....

waiting to, at the very least, box his ears.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:29 PM

44. Faux is now making him into St. Tony

He'll be the "St. Ronnie" of his age to the pukes.

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Response to wordpix (Reply #44)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 03:08 PM

76. can't wait to see the street named after him

only in rightwing looney ville

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:33 PM

46. hilarious

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:35 PM

48. "911 operator,how can I help you"

"It's Justice Scalia-I think he's dead..."

"Well-first we have to make sure"

(silence)

"Sir-Sir?"

(silence)




BANG, BANG, BANG

"Okay-what's next?"

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 10:41 PM

49. Zippy the Pinhead, omniscient then as now

 

"All life is a blur of Republicans and meat."

(Circa 1979, cartoonist Bill Griffith)

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 11:16 PM

50. I haz a sad - NOT!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 11:21 PM

51. I have never wished a man dead

but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure. (Attributed to Mark Twain)

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #51)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 03:32 AM

59. That's the one I was trying to remember! Thanks, nt

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #51)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:51 AM

61. Actually, that was Clarence Darrow.

My 2nd cousin, 5 times removed.

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Response to Bohunk68 (Reply #61)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 12:13 PM

69. You're right.

Seems like Mark Twain gets the credit for all the clever quotes because he came up with so many of them.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #69)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:14 PM

74. I double checked myself on this and it was Mark Twain. What Clarence said was:

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence is my 2nd cousin, 5 times removed and our connection is not more than 25 miles from where I currently live in Upstate NY. Both he and I grew up in Ashtabula County, Ohio. Never knew the connection until I did my genealogy.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #51)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:38 AM

64. wishing a person's death is not necessarily a bad thing

 

for the moment, my wish and god's will appear to be in sync. the world is a better place today.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #51)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:05 PM

85. When I wish an evil person dead

 

I say to the powers that be "thy will, not my will be done"

I think that our world is a better place, now that Scalia is gone.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 11:35 PM

52. The first words out of my mouth upon hearing was "This changes everything!"

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Response to Dont call me Shirley (Reply #52)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 12:16 PM

70. Maybe and maybe not. We desperately need change but it's been promised and not

 

delivered. The Powers That Be don't want change.

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Response to rhett o rick (Reply #70)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:33 PM

83. Hopeful thinking, rhett. I'm still an optimist.

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Response to Dont call me Shirley (Reply #83)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:18 PM

88. Good for you, and I mean it. It's not easy to be obtimistic facing the Big Money Power we

 

have to overcome. So far Pres Obama hasn't proven to me that he is one of us in the 99%.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sat Feb 13, 2016, 11:42 PM

53. Tomorrow's local paper is going to be in the top ten most collected newspaper.

Might even surpass the landing on the moon.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:01 AM

55. Thanks, Will

So, since Tony and Clarence were joined at the hip, shouldn't the other be dying soon?

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:19 AM

56. K&R!

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:20 AM

57. I hope your Pops kicks his ass out of Heaven.

I bet the saints and angel would help him.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #57)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:36 AM

63. nino won't even get close to heaven.

 

now that he's dead, I'm waiting for the real dirt on him to be exposed. he was a walking pusball of corruption. unpatriotic and unchristian.

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Response to tomp (Reply #63)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:24 AM

67. I was thinking he'd get there on a technicality. nt

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #67)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 11:23 AM

68. heaven doesn't work like that. (nt)

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:29 AM

58. Ha, I was just about to post this on Facebook!

I googled. looking for the exact quote and your post came up. Actually, yours was the only one that came up. Thanks!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:50 AM

60. K&R!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:09 AM

65. Haha, nice! [nt]

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:18 AM

66. My thoughts as well.

Good riddance.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 12:26 PM

71. But Will, the old joke WAS Antonin! And I say that with all due solemnity.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 12:28 PM

72. i must say kick

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:02 PM

73. K&R! nt

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 04:50 PM

78. Kickin' it!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:20 PM

79. K&R n/t

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:30 PM

80. this is just the beginning, imo

the rest of the PNAC cabal are right behind him. fat tony won't be the last front pager by a long shot!

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Response to shanti (Reply #80)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:41 PM

86. I am glad

 

that this piece of evil is gone.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:41 PM

81. K&R.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 12:39 AM

89. kickety

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 11:44 AM

91. Wow, you came up with that in under 24 business hours. Nice job. n/t

 

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Response to Kang Colby (Reply #91)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 04:18 PM

92. You write that one yourself?

 

Or did Kodos pen it for you?

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