How many goddamn times are they going to kill al-Qaeda number 2?

[datasuspect]

they kill this guy every fucking week.

it has to be a complete crock of shit. who still believes this stuff?

[HopeHoops]

1. Until we start bombing Iran.

[Poll_Blind]

15. +1

Nuff said, really.

PB

[southernyankeebelle]

2. Well maybe it's promotions. Number 4 moves to 3 then 2 then 1 always having a fresh supply.

Terrorists love their work and many are dying to do it so they can go to heaven and meet their virgins.

[lookingfortruth]

3. considering we got Osama Bin Ladin shouldn't that monster be dead? Is Al-Qaeda like a Hydra?

Goldstein is no more!

[Fumesucker]

28. Manny is a DU star member..

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/MannyGoldstein

[MrSlayer]

4. It's an endless loop.

Dude is there, we kill him. Someone takes his place, we kill him. Someone takes his place, we kill him. And so on and so forth.

[mikeytherat]

5. al-Qaeda has the most horizontal org chart in history.

There's Number One, and on the next level down everyone is Number Two.

mikey_the_rat

[Ron Obvious]

6. Who'd want the job?

AQ: Abdul, there's a vacancy. You're our new number 2. Congratulations on your promotion.
Abdul: Shit!

[Not Me]

7. He's gotta be paying outrageously high

life insurance premiums.
Just sayin'.

[Rittermeister]

8. You all are making it sound more grandiose than it is.

Al Qaeda is hardly still the internationally connected boogie man we have made them out to be, if they ever were. They're a bunch of tribal fighters running and hiding in the hills of Pakistan with AKs and goats. Al Qaeda is broken as an organization, mission accomplished, time to go home.

[Jazzgirl]

31. I would say most of this thread is tongue in cheek.

We know AQ has been the "boogey man" and is used as a distraction. But we still have fun with threads for Number Two every week.

[HiPointDem]

9. Bush did the same thing.

[kenny blankenship]

51. O yes, W was Number ONE at taking Number Twos

He was the Original Champion and Still Undefeated, Grand Master of No. 2 - All Hail Bush! Or whatever we call the Generalissimo now. Hail him. Tremble, World, and bow before our Number Two elimination prowess.

[rufus dog]

10. I would think #2 would get a t-shirt made with "I'm #3"

and wear it at all times.

[treestar]

11. What I'd like to know is

Who is #1 right now?

[Bandit]

20. Dick Cheney would be my guess

[former9thward]

30. Egyptian Ayman al-Zawahri replaced bin Laden.

[SunsetDreams]

12. I don't know, maybe al-Qaeda hasn't

retired the #2 Jersey yet.

[Turbineguy]

13. Until

there's only one left. And then we'll kill Number 1.

[slackmaster]

14. It's like the famous British sci-fi thriller mystery TV series "The Prisoner"

Every week there's a new Number 2.

[AnotherMcIntosh]

16. If someone was killed, they were No. 2?

[postulater]

17. He's like Whack A Mole.

[IDemo]

18. -

[hobbit709]

19. More #2s than a pencil factory.

[slackmaster]

26. More #2s than the cholera ward of a Mumbai hospital

[randome]

21. There will always be a #2 so long as there are 70+ virgins awaiting him.

They're idiots but at least they're consistently idiotic.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

22. As long as it's necessary to convince the American people that a lost war can still be won.

[Beaverhausen]

23. You realize that when one is killed, there is a replacement, right?

This is silly.

[datasuspect]

24. i watch cartoons for a living

[KansDem]

29. Then why don't we go after No. 1?

Is there some reason we always aim at the guy standing next to him?

[treestar]

49. We go after both, but #1 is harder to get, apparently

So we don't get #1 as often.

Still we got the big #1. But #2 is not shown mercy until #1 is gone.

[Sheepshank]

32. Yah..thinking that #2 is person, rather than a position

is wrong thinking.

Career ladders being what they are, and the virginal rewards being what they are, there will always be a number two.

Perhaps to appease OP, we shoulc call it AlQ#2, version 324

[datasuspect]

37. we should all strive for precision in description

it's what good people do.

[Bolo Boffin]

25. Actually, it was usually #3 that was killed one way or the other.

Then we got #1 (Osama). Zawahiri moved up, and now we're getting #2. al-Libi is a major blow, though.

We should start working to get the AUMF repealed since the enemies identified in it are getting smaller and smaller in number.

[whatchamacallit]

34. I wonder if your erudition

Last edited Tue Jun 5, 2012, 04:44 PM - Edit history (1)

will resonate after another decade of this silly bullshit

[Bolo Boffin]

38. There, there. You can keep believing Al Qaeda didn't commit the 9/11 attack if you want to.

No one's saying you can't.

[whatchamacallit]

39. And you can keep believing

anything and everything the authorities tell you.

[Bolo Boffin]

43. Yes, I know, I'm the worst person ever.

Barack said it, that settles it, I believe it. I don't know how I thought I could get away with that attitude here at Democratic Underground.

[SheilaT]

27. Until number 2 stays dead?

Remember when Francisco Franco was still dead? It's kind of like that.

[Sheepshank]

33. Somebody keeps forgetting the Zombieland Double tap? n/t

[whatchamacallit]

35. Ah yes... the never-ending pool of madmen...

Americans that is.

[Bake]

36. If they'd quit filling that job, we'd quit killing the incumbent!

Honestly, that has to be the most hated job in all of al-Qaeda!

Who wants to be No. 2? And everybody steps back!



Bake

[Egalitarian Thug]

40. The al-Qaeda redshirt.

[spanone]

41. it's like a reoccurring saturday night live bit...

i imagine the high ups in the military are rolling on the floor every time it's reported, holding their sides....

[Igel]

42. I think Al-Libi is the first #2 for AQ-central.

While AQ was losing #2s right and left, Zawahiri was the only AQ #2. He wasn't killed; he was promoted. Al-Libi, IIRC, took his place.

But it sounds foolish to say that AQ lost lots of #2s while Zawahri was the only AQ #2, doesn't it? Dead give away that something's lost in comprehension.

Think of AQ as "Republican Party." How many #2s are there? There can only be one #2, right? Nah.

There's one in Harris County, TX. There's one in Brazoria County, TX. There's one for most other Texas counties. There's one for the State of Texas. There's one for Maricopa County, AZ. There's one for Pinal County, AZ. There's one for most othe AZ counties. There's one for the State of Arizona. Etc. There's one for the national party.

If all you see is "#2 of the Republican Party" you have no idea who you're talking about, for they are many. You assume there's only one party, but you'd be wrong. You have to pay attention to the other words that modify "Republican party."

The only #2 that AQ had for over a decade never died, although very many #2s were killed while he was #2.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

44. I've been saying that for years.

It must be a Pentagon knee slapper. Being the "al Qaeda #2" is like being a red shirt guy on Star Trek.

[magical thyme]

45. theoretically: infinite times. or until the end of human life on earth. whichever comes first.

Every time they kill a new #1 or #2, number 3 or 4 rises to the #2 slot. And they recruit some new members, numbers xxxx--xxxx.

This could continue as long as there is human life on earth.

[WilliamPitt]

46. Kill a #2, a new #2 steps in.

So I guess a bunch of times.



The real question is how many times are we going to use drones to kill a house-full of people to get one guy?

[felix_numinous]

47. Because the #2 gets replaced

--in theory of course. The story would sound better if they said "the latest #2 guy" for people who have more than 2 brain cells to rub together.

[TheKentuckian]

48. Infinite, even if they have to give some random kat a "field promotion" to the position

Even if the random kat must not only be given a field promotion but posthumously "joining" them into the organization.

[frylock]

50. the rubes over in the faux snooze comment section..

my sister "liked" this wonderous news over on teh facebook. needless to say, the numbnuts commenting on it are all oooRAH! as if this really means anything.

[tabasco]

52. As long as they keep promoting number threes

That's how a chain of command works.

Maybe nobody ever told you.

[datasuspect]

54. no, the teevee was never clear on this

and i believe teevee, not you.

unless your on teevee.

then never mind.

[MoonRiver]

53. Everytime they kill a #2 a new #2 pops up to take his place.

So it will go on forever!